I wonder what's the point

[AnnieM07]

I haven’t done anything like this before and I don’t know where to start.
I hate my life and wake up most days wondering what’s the point.
I constantly go for walks or long drives and wonder if I should just end it and if anyone would even notice.
just when I think things are going good, I instantly expect for that to end and before you know it, my life is back to square one again.

I feel like everything I do isn’t good enough and I surround myself with people that I am constantly comparing myself to.
do I even have close friends? Or am I just tagging along to make myself look busy on social media?

i feel completely alone and like no one can fix me.
I have been on medication for nearly 10 years but that doesn’t work at all these days.
I’m completely at my last resort and feel so numb to the thought of dying now.

[Sophie_M]

Welcome to the forums, AnnieM07, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us today. 

It sounds like you're struggling at the moment and have been for some time. We're so sorry to hear that you feel hopeless and worthless. You've come to a safe, non-judgemental space with other members of the community that can relate to these feelings, and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness. 

In the meantime, we've sent you a private message to offer you some additional support. We would also encourage you to connect with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). Please remember that if at any point you become an immediate danger to yourself, this is an emergency and you should contact emergency services (000).

 

[randomspace]

Hi, I am sorry you have to hurt this much inside. Seeing a therapist may help if you are not already and people would notice and care if you where gone, and people don’t care how perfect you are, as perfection is what you deem it to be. Thoughts of hopelessness and other things can cloud your judgement making yourself think that you may not deserve something, have something as you may think or even just show the negative side of things.

Everything you do is good enough, there is no such thing as not good enough.

So people would care and do care and will always care for you.

I’m not very good at fixing things or helping things get better (argh, negative self thought!) , but I hope you can know if you don’t already that people care and want you here.