It here again

[Scared]

My depression is severe today

Added to this is the loss of my girlfriend

She was my sole purpose in my life

Now im back to suicide research

as I really dont want to live anymore

I have nothing to look forward to in this life and I feel too old to start over again.

Death would be a welcome gift

I know there is no purpose in suffering all the time and its madness to do so
Last time I tried to end it I got so close to doing it

I always felt it was upsetting I didnt succeed and today I regret trying to get better because there is no getting better.

If people could  understand what its like living like this then maybe they would understand me better.

I try to be grateful for the last 8 years I had with girlfriend and the purpose it gave me but it doesnt stop the added grief ontop of my depression.

The cavalry are not coming to save me and thats whats changed for me.

I cant keep living for the sake of others wanting me to live.

[indigo22]

Dear Scared,

I have made some enquiries about your living situation today and I have been given the following advice to pass on to you.

Speak to the hospital social worker about your lack of support when released from hospital and your current standard of living. I was advised that this should be your first option.

Your second option is to contact the NSW Mental Health Line 1800 011 511 for further support. I seem to recall that you said you are in Sydney, if I have that wrong, please let me know so I can find an alternative for you.

I hope this information will be of some help, if not, I will keep looking.

Thinking of you,

indigo

[Scared]

Indigo thank you for doing that for me

Your a gem

[Croix]

Dear Scared~

You're right, Indigo is a gem. As it's been a couple of weeks since you were being taken off an existing med and put on a new on I thoght I'd pop in and see how thngs were going

Croix

[Scared]

Hello croix

Im still in hospital and on new meds

Psychiatrist say it too early for meds to work yet

Somedays are better than others

I get worried about not getting well soon enough

I move to a new ward soon and feel like the new kid on the block again and thats making me anxious

[Croix]

Dear Scared~

Yes, some of mine took about 6 weeks ot make a difference I could see. I"m not saying it will be like thatfor you, we are all different, fingers Xed it will do osme good.

A new ware could be good or bad, or both. I found a corner in one I was not bothered and most of the staff on roster htere were OK. Be the same food of course:)

there is no race to get well -unless there's osmetihng I don't understand. You are you, ill or well, but hte same person.

Are you worried about being discharged before you feel up to it?

Croix

[Scared]

Yes great anxiety at being discharged before im well enough

[Croix]

Dear Scared~

I think Indigo's suggestion about contacting welfare staff might be a good thing to try. It is true htat many psych wards are always full and want  people out however you might delay the process as it is causing you the type of distress they are trying to lessen..

Mind you this is all on the assumption you will not get better in time, and that is by no means written in stone. Before the meds I'm on now I simply would not have believed life could turn around so much and would have thought anyone that said it might was just trying to be encouraging and not the least realistic.

Are you on the new ward yet?

Croix

[Scared]

Yes on new ward

I dont like it here

The old ward was quieter and less people