The warmest of welcomes to you at one of the most incredibly challenging times in your life. My heart goes out to you so much.
From what I've come to find over the years, just about every family has its 'sensitive', the most sensitive member of the family. What I've also come to find is that a lot of families don't recognise what an absolute gift this person is. This 'odd one out' or 'black sheep of the family' has the ability to lead the rest of the family to feel more easily and more deeply. They are in fact a teacher of sorts. When you say 'I didn't choose to feel this way', you could also look at it as 'I never volunteered to be the family's key sensitive or feeler. My god, it's a torturous, frustrating and depressing job at times'. It can become even harder when others just flat out refuse to feel or sense what's going on.
Sensing or feeling alone or on our own is one of the hardest things to do in life. Doing it with others who are able to feel to the same degree can be so much easier. For example, you could say to another sensitive person 'Did you feel what that person just said?' and their response could be 'Hell yeah, I felt it as being thoroughly dismissive'. Or you could say 'Can you feel what that other person's doing?' and their response could be 'Without a doubt, their behaviour's thoroughly depressing. I can feel it'. When there's no one else to feel with us, we can be left feeling thoroughly alone, in more ways than one. When this happens, we can be left thinking 'What's wrong with me?'. I've found a more relevant question to be 'Why can others not feel as easily as I can? What's wrong with them? Is their ability to feel 'broken' in some way?'. Sometimes a lot of it comes down to the fact that others become desensitised to various degrees. So, you could say their ability to sense is conditioned out of them.
As a mum to a now 20yo son, my son faced some terrible bullying at times from prep to around year 9. It took a long time for us to hit on the realisation that he was a person who had the ability to feel the impact of mentally disturbing, stressful and depressing people. It was never a 'fault' or 'flaw'. Btw, we're led to believe there's something wrong with being sensitive, that it's a flaw or 'weakness' of some kind that needs to be fixed. On the contrary, it's an ability to needs to be mastered. These days you could ask my son to read a room and get a feel for who messes with people mentally, who's stressful and who's depressing and he could pick up those natures in a matter of seconds, based on his experience. He's then be able to emotionally switch off so as to no longer feel their nature. You could also ask him to get a feel for who in the room offers him a sense of joy, sense of hilarity, sense of wonder, sense of excitement and so on. He could tell you that as well, while staying emotionally switched on around those people because we wants to feel their nature. My 23yo daughter also has the ability to sense such things. She can also pick up on when someone's blocking her from getting a sense of their nature.
Amongst the many abilities my kids have developed as sensitive people, one of the key abilities involves being incredibly challenging at times. Challenging other people can often unlock the way forward. For example, you could say to one of your parents 'I feel the need to seek guidance from a professional, based on me feeling so lost'. While they could say 'You don't need anyone, we all go through this sort of stuff at your age. You'll be right', to that you could say 'I can feel you dismissing my need. I can feel you shutting me down and I can feel you not caring enough to help me find someone. You need to develop your ability to feel for me and actually help me. You need to start feeling the need to step up'. While being challenging doesn't win us any popularity contests, it does tend to get the job done at times. One of the toughest jobs in life can involve waking people up to feeling more. I've found the more asleep they are the tougher it is. Sometimes we just gotta yell at some of them 'WAKE UP!!! You're asleep and you don't know it'.
