How do I help her?

[Lillan]

My sister has been suffering severe depression and been in therapy/medicated for 17 years. She has attempted suicide more than once. Both of us suffer PTSD from very brutal violent and mental abusive childhood. She has survival guilt for having it 'less' violent and mental abuse than me. She asked me yesterday if I'd be angry with her if she was able to get euthanised.

As much as it broke my heart I answered honestly that I'm pro euthanasia for intolerable suffering. Mental illness is as real as any other you can see on a scan. Of course I don't want her to do that - I want her to live. But she's only getting sicker and live only for her family and friends.

I looked into it and she can't get euthanasia because of where she lives, Belgium and Holland require you to be a citizen and Switzerland is too expensive. I worry that once she realises that, it'll make her feel even worse.

Then this morning she messaged (we live in on opposite side of earth) and asked:

What do you think would be the big difference between receiving active euthanasia and ending your life yourself? Except with approved active euthanasia relatives could could possibly be present and that they get a chance to ay goodby.

Why do I say to that? It sound like she’s looking for my ‘permission’ to end it.

She doesn't dare to bring it up with her friends out of fear that they will have her committed. I'm really worried, more than usual.

Please help.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lilan,

Thanks for reaching out here. We can understand why you are concerned about your sister's well-being. It sounds as though she is seeking your permission to end her life which commonly occurs when someone is seriously considering suicide. We would urge you call our Support Service for advice on how to manage this difficult situation. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of our professional mental health counsellors at our Support Service will give you support and point you in the right direction for help in your area.

Are there people around your sister you can reach out to and perhaps notify of your concerns? 

Please remember to be kind and look after yourself. This is a lot of stress and pressure to manage. 

[Coach Craig]

Dear Lillian,

Thank you for getting in touch with Beyond Blue. We work to raise awareness of depression, anxiety and suicide prevention, reduce the stigma surrounding these issues and to encourage people to seek support when they need it.

Beyond Blue understands that mental health is an important component of the Voluntary Assisted Dying debate. We realise that debate around this issue may be emotional for some members of our community, and we are available to provide mental health support to anyone affected – please contact our support service on 1300 22 4636.

Coach Craig