Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Emptiness

replies: 2

I'm stuck. I don't know how to break this cycle. I feel empty, and cannot see through the dark. I am overwhelmed with thoughts of suicide , they fill my mind. I dont believe I will self harm, but also a big part of me feels at some point down the long road that wont be the case. That at some point its inevitable I'm too scarred to move, every step i take i feel like i sink a little further. For the first time in my life when these feelings arise, i have saught help Initially, first contacts with the system were all positive, i felt seen for the first time ever. Since getting going with a new GP, i feel lost, unseen and un noticed. I sit for up to 30minsbeyond my appointment, anxious and scarred, and spend approx 5 - 8mins with the GP before leaving, feeling like nothings happened She reffered me to a psychologist, I have rang, left voice message, texted and left my details, and still have had no contact. My gp says she has created a care plan, but apartfrom the phone number to the psychologist I know nothing else about it. I find myself lonely in a way i have never experienced before, when i wake Up i just find myself wishing i could stay or go back to sleep. When i try to reach out to my sister for help, her response is anger and i feel like i make things worse. It feels like icould fade away and no one would notice

Overwhelmed and feeling lost

replies: 2

Im so tired of feeling overwhelmed! I'm a single mother of 1 boy and he has autism. He's only just started Primary school and its been a big transition for him. I can feel my depression is slowly coming back. i was on anti-depression meds for around a year and a half, ive never been entirely comfortable with taking medication, and i knew i would have to re-train myself to adjust without them, and learn other ways of coping. One thing i cannot stand is the feeling of this horrible heavy-hearted/tightness in the middle of my chest, that along with the knots in my stomach is so relentless & persistent! its just to the point where i really cant stand it, and im starting to have suicidal thoughts. I dont think i'll ever act on them but its still scary and i just worry about how they'll manifest if i cant get on top of them quickly. I just want to be a good mother and find some sort of contentness in life again!

Help me find whats left

replies: 2

I am so close to losing it all guys. I was going so well, went so long without any self harm or bad thoughts but one slip up and im back to it all. What have I got left guys? cause i see absolutely no reason to stay anymore

Tired

replies: 2

It’s late and my kids are sleeping and my husband is sleeping next to me. Since everyone fell asleep I have been crying uncontrollably. I am exhausted. And I want to say out loud what I’ve only said to one person. I can’t handle it anymore. I just can’t do it, I’m not coping and I don’t want to. Because I’m exhausted.I don’t want to have to stick around to see how the last half of my life goes. I have 3 girls. They are my joys, my life, my babies. I can’t even nearly understand how I could think about leaving them. Does anyone get so tired that they are just giving up? Or I’m just too tired to think. .

I’m running out of fight

replies: 3

I’ll keep my backstory as brief as possible. 2015 my son was born still. The following two years my mental health deteriorated. In 2017 lost friends to cancer and suicide, in 2018I lost my job, I lost my wife, she took my daughter. I lost my home and I nearly lost my battle with depression. I ended up in hospital for 5 days. It’s 3 years later and I’ve only just found a home. I have no friends, no job and I can’t seem to get my shit together. I’m in so much debt after my breakdown and divorce, I can’t seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I just don’t know what to do my more

Alone with no one

replies: 4

I just got out of a relationship where she didn’t want kids or to get married. I’ve always wanted a child, now I’m living on my own almost at 40 years old and I literally have no one. I don’t have anyone to talk to no one to confide to. I don’t love myself enough to ever do anything for myself, so I’m just lost. Suicide has crossed my mind so many times. I just want someone to talk to, someone to believe in me, just companionship and love. I have no one.

I was getting better but now I'm getting much worse

replies: 3

I have depression, anxiety and social anxiety (unsure if those last 2 fall under the same category) I've been on antidepressants since August and I felt like I was getting a lot better. I was really excited to start uni this semester because I was moving to a different uni and changing my degree to something I enjoyed. Around the beginning of this year I started seeing a new psychologist (my third one so far) and I felt it wasn't really helping that much but I stayed with it. I thought about stopping and now it just so happens I can't see her anymore because she only works on Tuesdays and I'm at uni 9-5 on that day. So I haven't been to see her for just over a month now but I feel that if I went back it wouldn't help much anyway. Recently at uni my symptoms have been coming back slowly but quite steadily. I enter panic mode in classes where I don't know anyone, I doze off in lectures even though I sleep way more than I should, I'm losing focus on things I enjoy and those darker thoughts are happening more and more often. In the past when I was in a bad way I would have passing thoughts about killing myself but recently I not only think about it more often but I'm imagining ways I could actually do it. There are days where I'm really happy to just enjoy life but then there are days like these where I feel like I'm losing my mind and I don't know what to do about it. Mind you I've told my psychiatrist about this and how therapy isn't helping me and his thoughts were that I was too intelligent for therapy (his words not mine) and that he could either give me medication or I could try something called mindfulness. I chose to try mindfulness and it works sometimes but I'm so far gone at this point that my attention span for it has just gone out the window.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me.

replies: 2

About 4 years ago by closest friend decided to stop talking to me, the reason has never been told then About 2 years ago I found out my husband has had many affairs. This information destroyed me and made me feel like a big chunk of my life was a lie. I however never left him. My then close friends decided to wipe their hands of me because of this. during this time 2 years ago I had suicidal thoughts. I was so depressed that I just didn’t want to be around everyone anymore. we are going on 2 years later And I have major worthless feelings about myself. I am still with my husband but everytime he gets angry at me I have these thoughts again. I’m not depressed like I was I am just not coping with the situation and I want everything to stop. tonight was one of those situations and I did something I so badly regret doing. I am safe but I feel ashamed of it. I don’t know how to stop the overwhelming feeling of being worthless in that moment. I am seeing a psychologist who has been a major help but I am ashamed to tell her this. I am so over feeling like I am alone in this world and like I am The odd one out because my brain works differently. Everyone seems to either walk out on me or hurt me. I have no friends left and I am too ashamed of myself To try and make friends as I feel they will walk out on me too. please tell me I’m not alone. If I’m not depressed then why am I having these thoughts and feelings?

Down the rabbit hole....again

replies: 5

So I'd been doing really well (for nearly 12 months) and then all of a sudden I'm struggling to stay afloat - to survive. The thoughts of harm are creeping back, I'm paranoid, overwhelmed, exhausted. In a most bizarre situation yesterday, a Manager of a drive-through store took it upon herself to verbally abuse me. There has been a bit of an ongoing minor saga over something petty - my store 'membership' number. I'd been putting it down to her having a bad time, struggling with something, etc - I don't know. Until yesterday when she went off! I've never been rude to her but she doesn't believe me that the app doesn't work on my phone. So I don't handle confrontation well and now my brain is telling me I need to harm myself - I haven't harmed myself in over 6 years but now I'm feeling on the edge. I hate that she is stuck in my head and they am doubting my own character - having lived through domestic violence, the confrontation has triggered the self-doubt and self-flagellation. Why do I always come back her?! Despite what people say, it's harder each time not easier (just because I've pulled myself out of the rabbit hole so many times before).

New here where do I start..

replies: 3

2020 was the worst year of my life. I have been separated from my son for over a year now. He is only three years old the emotional pain of being separated from him is unbearable. I managed to visit him just as COVID hit. During our time together he accidentally scratched my eye and I developed a condition called recurrent corneal erosion syndrome. It is an extremely painful condition and it ruined my life. I couldn't sleep I was in just constant physical pain on top of the emotional pain. I dealt with everything alone being separated from family and friends. That I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. I couldn't work out why I felt sick all the time, and was on so much medication for pain and mental health it literally was destroying me. Then I turned to alcohol as a way to cope and that just made everything worse. I start to feel better going to all these psych appointments but i self sabotage everytime. I'm sick and tired of constantly battling. I tried failed my suicide attempt you would think that would be a wake up call and try to get my life back on track. But I'm sitting here wondering i can't even cry anymore.. I feel nothing anymore.. just emptiness and numbness. I don't know why I keep trying knowing full well I will fail again.. I feel like I will always be battling What kind of life is that. I'm 29 and I have been struggling with mental health issues my entire life. I can't remember what it means to be truly happy anymore. The person I see in old photos is dead and gone.i don't even recognise myself anymore

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Emptiness replies: 2

Overwhelmed and feeling lost replies: 2

Help me find whats left replies: 2

Tired replies: 2

I’m running out of fight replies: 3

Alone with no one replies: 4

I was getting better but now I'm getting much worse replies: 3

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. replies: 2

Down the rabbit hole....again replies: 5

New here where do I start.. replies: 3