Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Why are people opposed to suicide, when they know it's not as simple as that?

replies: 3

I just made a thread talking about how my current circumstances and my past make it impossible for me to get over losing someone I loved, and find love at any point in the future. People say you should love yourself, but I had to love myself for twenty-three years before I got Depression, and NEEDED some sort of outside perspective. I never got it. To say you should love yourself, by yourself, forever, is just a pleasant way of saying you're not meant to be here. If people know who I am, and that I have no hope, that I make no impact on the world around me, that my feelings are HEAVILY, heavily stigmatised.. why wouldn't they understand? Obvious DISCLAIMER, I am asking this from a theoretical perspective.. I am safe.

Krjac

replies: 4

Hi there, just want to say I have struggled with depression for many years. Tried many medications with no real success. Seen many many psychologists, psychiatrists etc, pretty much to no avail. I am now in a very bad (sad - losing my partner) situation, and I’m prepared to accept that I just need to give up, and end it. It’s all too hard. Have genuinely tried/sort help for many many years so haven’t come to this lightly.

Toxic work environment and anxiety moving on.

replies: 13

Hello, Can toxic workplaces cause PTSD? What about grief?. I have been to see my GP and she thinks I'm Severely Stressed and have Anxiety, she's referred me to a psychologist for counselling. I've recently left a toxic workplace,- which was a tough decision during a pandemic- but my mental and physical health were deteriorating. I experienced multiple long episodes of burnout. The work environment would get better and I thought maybe I was just over thinking it or being too dramatic, but then I watched as colleague after colleague resigned before me. I'd applied for a few jobs whilst I was still employed, each interview went well up until I was asked the dreaded questions of 'why do you want to leave your current workplace?' and 'can we contact your current employer?'. So I resigned without a job lined up- scary- the last time i was unemployed and not studying was a long time ago. I've been applying for jobs, and I have interviews coming up (yay), however I've been experiencing self doubt, and thinking 'what if I do something wrong, what if I'm just walking into another bad situation'. Couple this with the 'why did you leave your last workplace' question and 'can we contact your previous employer?, and I'm reduced to an emotional mess. I've been crying on and off like a tap, sometimes I don't even notice I'm crying. This resigning thing was supposed to make me feel relieved that I don't have be there. I left lots of work for the few remaining employees to follow up, which makes me feel guilty, however I was not given the adequate time to wrap things up neatly, I was paid out for my notice period, and told not to come into work during this time. Friends have told me I need to stop letting it consume me and move on, and that I can't be picky about the next job, and just apply for everything, even if I don't want that particular role/job. But how do I do that when this organisation was my first job (my dream job) out of Uni and I have no other references? I've also been looking at a complete career change but find I need more qualifications which are expensive and I'm too highly qualified for govt fee assistance. I feel I'm still trapped in the toxicity even though I've left. I know there's not much anyone can do, it's just tough being in this situation, and I want to let anyone else experiencing a similar situation know that they are not alone. Beekay. x

It never completely leaves me

replies: 3

Hi Everyone, Its been a few year since I have been here. But Its come to a point in my life where I just don't feel comfortable telling those I love the dark things that are sometimes running through my mind. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and just hears me and the truth. I'm a 30 year old single mum. I separated from my abusive partner almost two years ago just after our child was born. SI have been struggling ever since. We left with nothing. No money, no belongings, no confidence. I have spent the last 18 months surviving and focusing on my child. All I want is for my child to be happy and for my internal struggle not those an effect on development. But hiding how I truly feel is killing me! Sowmtimes I truly hate my life. I hate where I have let my life go. I know I put myself here and I take responsibility for that. But it only makes the feeling worse. I love my child but soemtimes I just wish I wasn't a mother. That way I could just end it. I'm tired, bored, lonely. My child is my only happiness. I have no family support for baby sitting etc, so I don't ever do anything for me. My life is lived through my child and what I need to do for him/her. I feel like I live a lie! There's the external world; the one that I love because I spend it making my child happy. But internal I hate my life because I don't have the opportunity to do anything for myaelf. Does any other single parent relate? Soemtimes the mental and physical exhaustion is just so overwhelming and taking myself out seems like the only option for peace. I feel sick writing this because I feel admitting it alone let's my child down. But this is how I feel in this very moment.

I've become the thing I hate and tried self harming to cope / change.

replies: 2

I haven't self harmed in a very long time so I'm currently writing this is a mixed state of self-hate, desperation, loneliness and confusion. I've been feeling blue for a while but the 'train', so to speak, was set in motion when I tried to talk about my worries to a well trusted family member but she got frustrated with me. I then found out that she was talking about me, my issues and what I've become to another family member. They met up together leaving me at home and I realised that I've become the person I hate. I have become greedy, ungrateful and selfish. I'm still childish despite my age and I'm bringing everyone around me into unnecessary 'dramas'. I'm hurting my loved ones without even realising. I never wanted to become like this but at the same time, I feel as if it's a good thing that I know what flaws others see in me. I always thought along the lines of 'Ignorance is bliss' but now I'm thinking that 'Power is knowledge'. My problem is that I tried to change myself through self-harm. I would then say what thing I've become, like 'greedy', 'selfish', 'burden'. The problem was... it felt good and I have the urge to do it again and again. And I know that's not right. I'm at a loss. I have no one to talk to as everyone is busy with their own lives and my trust for my family is out the window. So I thought that maybe I'll try here - Let others know that they're not alone and maybe I'll finally begin to feel like I'm not alone either.

Old urges returning

replies: 6

Hi everyone, New to the website and after seeing a poster in public today decided to join and air some thoughts. Some triggers ahead. Please be careful and take care of yourself. When I was a pre teen/teenager I used to self harm. Couldn't tell you if it was because of being sexually abused and never really sharing it with anyone, the inability to deal with all the emotions that being a teenager brought on, my dad having an affair after giving into his gambling habits and losing us our car and home, my mother falling deep into a state of depression and alcoholism after my dads aforementioned affair... Also not really having a support network, never really talking to a professional (apart from a few sessions with a school therapist at age 10 but it was more because the school just knew home life was not good at that time) I couldn't tell you which was the main cause, maybe all of it? Fast forward 15 / 20 years and I'm happily married with our first child on the way, my husband is loving and kind... my parents got back together (though they will never be "okay" my mum's too bitter for that, which is fair enough) and my lil brother is a wonderful man - we all live together. After became smoke free about 5 days ago and out of nowhere these feelings of self harm came flooding back. Know should have been smoke free much sooner because of baby but did manage to cut down to 2 or 3 a day after finding out. These urges shook me because no longer the angsty teen used to be, though by no means "healed" am in a totally different place now. Understand it's a mixture of hormones and coming out of an addiction. Today I thought about self-harm. But didn't.

helpless.

replies: 5

I hadn't self-harmed for a good month or so, but two days ago one of my supposed best friends said he didnt want to talk to me anymore without giving me any reason. This might sound like a pathetic reason to start self harming again, but that friend (I will call him C) meant the world to me and him abandoning me like this with no closure just reiterates how worthless I am. Anyway, I self-harmed over it and I feel really bad for going backwards. I tried really hard to not self-harm but I only have my husband as a support and I just don't want to be here anymore. I don't even know why I'm posting, I don't think this place can help me. I don't think anyone or anything can help me at this point.

The let down

replies: 3

For as long as I can remember I have been bullied. Whether it be from family, friends or strangers I get picked apart constantly. Mostly it's about the way I look. I'm the scapegoat, I'm the emotional punching bag, I am not good enough. Unless I change I'm unlovable, unworthy and a burden. I slowly feel myself withdrawing. I dread going out because I don't think I can handle the World. I try to talk to people but I get told I'm too sensitive and need thick skin. So then I feel guilty for feeling the way I feel. For the first time 6 months ago I was truly happy. I was expecting my first child. I had purpose, I had so much love to give. Then I miscarried. Any purpose I had was gone. I feel like I'm sinking into a hole and everyone can see me there but does nothing. I feel so alone and isolated. No one truly understands

My dealings with the health system, is it tailored more for female support? Trigger warning - suicidal thoughts

replies: 17

Hi there, I wasn’t sure which forum to post this on, I haven't frequented the forums for quite some time. I went through a couple of years of severe anxiety and depression some years back, and had support on here at the time. I've been muddling along ok since, with occasional times with mild A&D. I find as I'm getting older, my medical support needs are increasing too. (I'm a 60 male, long time divorced and recently retired, living on my own in a regional area). I’ve always had considerable trouble with finding a GP who is willing to give me the focus needed to address my medical concerns. It’s been more than 30 years since I’ve had one I could call, “my GP”. I know there is a stereotype of males choosing to ignore health issues, but I’ve never been like that…quite the opposite, if only I could get the attention of the health system like I see the women I know, expect. I’ve started to get annoyed, and feeling like I have to wait until it is serious enough that I won’t be disregarded for people who are really sick. Whenever I’ve mentioned the topic to people I know, they think I’m being defeatist, but I point out that I’m only feeling that way from my own experiences over the years. I’ve been told to just stand up and “insist” I get some attention. Apart from not being able to do that, I am also conscious these days that with the security issues in hospitals and clinics, that as a male, my insistence may be taken the wrong way, so I just accept it, as I am so afraid of the slightest verbal conflict. I fear I may just become another failed statistic of the health system. I'm a male who is historically a bit short on assertiveness, and with all the media attention on how bad men are to women as a general rule, find it hard to reconcile with myself that I even belong in this world now, just because of my gender. I’m probably being irrational about it, but I haven’t been able to invalidate those feelings in the highly charged social atmosphere these days, and increasingly my already lack of assertiveness when seeking medical support is amplifying this. I’ve talked to men who acknowledge they are taken more seriously when visiting the GP with the support of their female partners. My last severe anxiety attack was actually brought on by my dealings with the health system, and seems as if when I really need the support it in fact, makes things worse. I don’t really know what to do, as the very suggestion “to seek professional advice” causes me great anxiety!

How long will this last, I've done everything suggested...

replies: 3

Hi, This episode of depression is now a little more than 18 months long and I'm back at the point where I'm preoccupied with suicide. I have a psychiatrist and physiologist (and have had ones since my first episode 15 years ago - this is my third and by far, longest). I'm in and out of hospital and have had so much ECT that it's a wonder I even remember my own name. ECT, while a life saver, has cost me two PhD attempts. I haven't been able to work and I'm very lucky to still have a job to go back too, at the moment. You can imagine the number of anti-depressants I've tried. I'm left wondering how much longer can this episode last? How much longer am I going to be a burden to others, waste their time and resources? Is there really any point to keep trying?

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Why are people opposed to suicide, when they know it's not as simple as that? replies: 3

Krjac replies: 4

Toxic work environment and anxiety moving on. replies: 13

It never completely leaves me replies: 3

I've become the thing I hate and tried self harming to cope / change. replies: 2

Old urges returning replies: 6

helpless. replies: 5

The let down replies: 3

My dealings with the health system, is it tailored more for female support? *Trigger warning - suicidal thoughts* replies: 17

How long will this last, I've done everything suggested... replies: 3