Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

Pinned discussions

Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Sorted by:

Start a discussion

Stress and demotivation around year 12

replies: 5

not sure if this belongs here but i’m completing year 12 this year, but i’m really struggling with anxiety and demotivation. i’m beginning to lose hope and faith in myself that I am able to do all this, it’s so much and my entire life is gonna be on pause. my mum is somewhat pushing me to go to uni after this but I don’t think I could bring myself to do another 3 years of this, I don’t even know if i’m gonna survive this year. really negative thoughts are beginning to creep in and it’s making me feel sad just all the time, when I’ve always been a very positive person. I don’t want this to ruin my relationship but I fear I’ll tear it down

Just came back from psychiatric ward... want to go back there again

replies: 2

Hi everyone, I was admitted into the psych ward for attempting suicide, depression and anxiety. I was there for 12 days and was finally discharged yesterday as I felt like I was ready and haven't had suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm for a few days prior to discharge. My very supportive partner and I have discussed extensively with psychologists, psychiatrists and social workers about the plan post discharge and I felt I was definitely ready and was even excited. Overall I had a positive experience at the ward and felt like I was finally going to turn my life around. However, the moment I settled at home, I have been crying and it feels like I am relapsing again. I even feel like going back to the psych ward because I just feel so overwhelmed at home. I would love to hear anyone's experience how they made through this transition as I know it is always difficult. I have psychology sessions lined up tomorrow and for the following weeks and a social worker contacting me next week as well. Thank you so much.

Reallyconfusedchronicanxiety

replies: 2

Hey there fellow beautiful people. This is only the second time I’ve posted on here, I feel a little desperate. I am usually quite an outgoing person and quite positive, I do fall into depressive states but usually they only last a day or two, maybe a couple weeks if they’re bad. I have been feeling more anxious then anything lately but it also so made me really depressive for a time. I was suicidal for weeks, sometimes locking myself in my wardrobe l, making plans. I’ve never self harmed before, but I think I lash out on myself in a lot of self destructive ways, such as my diet. I feel really fat and I know it’s not healthy. I did stop drinking about 6 months ago and I feel like this started coming on since then. But anyway what’s really distressing me the most is this constant anxiety I have. I’m not used to feeling like this at all, it’s gotten to the point where if I think about going outside I start getting panicky and seeing stars. Just to go outside! The doctor gave me medication which I tried and I started hallucinating and having really bad suicidal urges I had to stop and now thinking about trying something else, is just - it seems crazy. Some days I really do want to get better and not give up on myself. My friends keep reaching out to me, I’ve kind of been isolating myself for a few months now. Sometimes I think it’s for their own good because I honestly am not myself and can’t be the friend/ person they’re wanting to reach out too and if I did end up going through with a plan then it would just involve them more. I’m usually the type of person that’s quite spontaneous and confident. Idk, I’m 24. Has anyone ever had anxiety this bad before? Sorry my stories so long and rambly. I’m kind of fed up with myself I feel ridiculous, like I just wanna shake myself and make myself go outside and stop being so dramatic - that’s honestly how I feel but I can’t physically do it it’s like there’s some block I just freeze, spin out and then end up in a ball crying or starting to make food.

Self harm relapse

replies: 7

Hi, I've been doing so well and for the past couple of months, I have not self-harmed at all. I used to harm myself regularly but after I had a particularly bad reaction to my medication and was admitted to hospital, I was able to turn things around for a time. It helped that a good friend of mine asked me to send him a message every time I harmed. He didn't want to keep a check on me, he wasn't judging, he just wanted to know and in a way, it made me feel less alone and as a consequence, the harming ended. I can feel myself spiraling again and I have begun harming myself. I want to reach out and tell those people I love that I need help again but I am so very ashamed that I have had a relapse. I have a very open group of friends that are like family and they know a lot about who I am and the reasons behind my depression. At times, they bring up that I am a "self harmer" or will say something about particular behaviours and thought patterns that I have had previously. When they do, even if I tell them that I do not think that way anymore or do those things, I find that they do not truly believe me. I feel resentment for this because I have worked so very hard to get better. My fear is that the progress I have made in convincing them I have moved forward will be undone as soon as they find out I am self harming again. I'm tired of moving forward only to slide back and I am too ashamed to tell my best friends that I need them again. I want it to stop but right now, I just want someone to tell me that they understand me.

Partner acting out of character. Paranoid and Manic.

replies: 4

I've recently been experiencing relationship stress and I'm beginning to feel isolated and deflated. My partner and I have been together for over five years and we never experienced any significant issues before now. A few months ago, he injured himself at work and is now experiencing nerve pain in his back. As a result, he has ceased work and is going through a tiresome workers comp process which has presented with a lot of stressors in itself. On top of this, he has been on a range of medications including heavy pain meds, nerve pain medication, specific prescription anti-inflammatory meds etc, plus being in pain constantly with and the boredom from no longer being able to work (he previously enjoyed work). In addition, his sleep has been disrupted, often going all night without sleeping and then catching up on rest during the day. I can only imagine this may be a situation where things will eventually start to unravel. I've recently noticed a decline in his mental health, where he becomes almost paranoid, obsessive, cynical and I often cop the brunt of this. I've noticed his facial expressions in these moments change, and he can be quite intimidating and almost coming across as aggressive, whether he intends for this to happen or not. He often wakes me at around 2am to essentially blast me about things that would normally be perceived as menial, and he has linked all of these thoughts together to come to a conclusion that is not at all based on reality. Keeps telling me that I'm hiding something, that something isn't right - yet when I dispute this and question why he doesn't appear to trust me all of sudden, he then claims he never said that, and I'm making out that he is crazy. I have a high pressure job and we have the commitment of just purchasing a new home a few months ago. I'm getting warn out and family/friends dont appear to realise the severity of the situation as they dont see the extent of his behaviour. Sometimes I have thoughts about not existing, or what extreme measures I can go to within myself just to get some relief, as I'm truly feeling deflated and periods of depression I experience because of these pressures are intense. I cry almost every day and I honestly can't keep up with the yo-yo rollercoaster of my partner being loving an apologetic one minute, and seemingly manic and paranoid the next. Could his medication have put him into some intermittent manic psychosis? Or can stress trigger these sort of things? I need some insight!

All my life

replies: 2

All my life people have bullied me for who I am whilst I suffered from mental illness, all my life I was too open and now I feel nothing but shame, all my life the only one who cared for me and still does is my mother despite all I've done. Now I eat away all my pain and go to the Psychiatrist who tries to help me but I'm being forced on medication because of a TA whilst I suffer sleepless nights. I have no education and no friends, I'm on a pension I feel I don't need but people only hurt me and I can't even shower properly from the depression I feel. I never had my father except for about an hour before he died when I was 12. I've never had any "mates" only girlfriends who I didn't even love and was just using to stop the bullying. they stayed friends with me but it was just shits and giggles so I've had no real friends. My family have bullied me along with school bullies. Now I hear voices who do the most awful things to me that I could've never imagined happening to anyone. No medication or combo of them works so here I am asking does life get better for everyone when my life has only gotten worse? And is there a point to all this?

Why are people opposed to suicide, when they know it's not as simple as that?

replies: 3

I just made a thread talking about how my current circumstances and my past make it impossible for me to get over losing someone I loved, and find love at any point in the future. People say you should love yourself, but I had to love myself for twenty-three years before I got Depression, and NEEDED some sort of outside perspective. I never got it. To say you should love yourself, by yourself, forever, is just a pleasant way of saying you're not meant to be here. If people know who I am, and that I have no hope, that I make no impact on the world around me, that my feelings are HEAVILY, heavily stigmatised.. why wouldn't they understand? Obvious DISCLAIMER, I am asking this from a theoretical perspective.. I am safe.

Krjac

replies: 4

Hi there, just want to say I have struggled with depression for many years. Tried many medications with no real success. Seen many many psychologists, psychiatrists etc, pretty much to no avail. I am now in a very bad (sad - losing my partner) situation, and I’m prepared to accept that I just need to give up, and end it. It’s all too hard. Have genuinely tried/sort help for many many years so haven’t come to this lightly.

Toxic work environment and anxiety moving on.

replies: 13

Hello, Can toxic workplaces cause PTSD? What about grief?. I have been to see my GP and she thinks I'm Severely Stressed and have Anxiety, she's referred me to a psychologist for counselling. I've recently left a toxic workplace,- which was a tough decision during a pandemic- but my mental and physical health were deteriorating. I experienced multiple long episodes of burnout. The work environment would get better and I thought maybe I was just over thinking it or being too dramatic, but then I watched as colleague after colleague resigned before me. I'd applied for a few jobs whilst I was still employed, each interview went well up until I was asked the dreaded questions of 'why do you want to leave your current workplace?' and 'can we contact your current employer?'. So I resigned without a job lined up- scary- the last time i was unemployed and not studying was a long time ago. I've been applying for jobs, and I have interviews coming up (yay), however I've been experiencing self doubt, and thinking 'what if I do something wrong, what if I'm just walking into another bad situation'. Couple this with the 'why did you leave your last workplace' question and 'can we contact your previous employer?, and I'm reduced to an emotional mess. I've been crying on and off like a tap, sometimes I don't even notice I'm crying. This resigning thing was supposed to make me feel relieved that I don't have be there. I left lots of work for the few remaining employees to follow up, which makes me feel guilty, however I was not given the adequate time to wrap things up neatly, I was paid out for my notice period, and told not to come into work during this time. Friends have told me I need to stop letting it consume me and move on, and that I can't be picky about the next job, and just apply for everything, even if I don't want that particular role/job. But how do I do that when this organisation was my first job (my dream job) out of Uni and I have no other references? I've also been looking at a complete career change but find I need more qualifications which are expensive and I'm too highly qualified for govt fee assistance. I feel I'm still trapped in the toxicity even though I've left. I know there's not much anyone can do, it's just tough being in this situation, and I want to let anyone else experiencing a similar situation know that they are not alone. Beekay. x

It never completely leaves me

replies: 3

Hi Everyone, Its been a few year since I have been here. But Its come to a point in my life where I just don't feel comfortable telling those I love the dark things that are sometimes running through my mind. Thank you in advance to anyone who reads this and just hears me and the truth. I'm a 30 year old single mum. I separated from my abusive partner almost two years ago just after our child was born. SI have been struggling ever since. We left with nothing. No money, no belongings, no confidence. I have spent the last 18 months surviving and focusing on my child. All I want is for my child to be happy and for my internal struggle not those an effect on development. But hiding how I truly feel is killing me! Sowmtimes I truly hate my life. I hate where I have let my life go. I know I put myself here and I take responsibility for that. But it only makes the feeling worse. I love my child but soemtimes I just wish I wasn't a mother. That way I could just end it. I'm tired, bored, lonely. My child is my only happiness. I have no family support for baby sitting etc, so I don't ever do anything for me. My life is lived through my child and what I need to do for him/her. I feel like I live a lie! There's the external world; the one that I love because I spend it making my child happy. But internal I hate my life because I don't have the opportunity to do anything for myaelf. Does any other single parent relate? Soemtimes the mental and physical exhaustion is just so overwhelming and taking myself out seems like the only option for peace. I feel sick writing this because I feel admitting it alone let's my child down. But this is how I feel in this very moment.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 96

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Stress and demotivation around year 12 replies: 5

Just came back from psychiatric ward... want to go back there again replies: 2

Reallyconfusedchronicanxiety replies: 2

Self harm relapse replies: 7

Partner acting out of character. Paranoid and Manic. replies: 4

All my life replies: 2

Why are people opposed to suicide, when they know it's not as simple as that? replies: 3

Krjac replies: 4

Toxic work environment and anxiety moving on. replies: 13

It never completely leaves me replies: 3