Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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I dont want to be here

replies: 6

I don't really know if what I'm feeling is actually an issue or if I'm just overdramatic but I feel the need to say something. Lately I've felt really useless and like a burden to my friends and family. I feel like no matter what I do, it's never enough and I can't motivate myself to do anything to fix myself. I keep getting frustrated and mad at my friends and family for such small things and I feel really bad about it but I can't seem to stop myself. I feel really burnt out, I know I've got school work to do but I can't do it, I feel constantly tired and it takes me ages to fall asleep because I keep thinking about how I'm such a bad person. I feel like a failure but as much as I try I can't seem to fix anything. I can't stop myself from feeling like everyone would be so much better off without me. I shouldn't be thinking this because I have a relatively good life and other people have had to go through so much worse than I have. Usually I feel completely fine in the day time when I'm around my friends, but when I'm alone I can't stop myself from thinking these thoughts again. I feel like I'm being dramatic but I also feel like I have a genuine issue? I've harmed myself a few times and immediately afterwards I feel like I have no right to have been doing those things - like I'm seeking attention but at the same time I feel like I deserve it, I deserve to be punished. It's pretty much a loop where I feel disgusted with myself and feel as if life isn't worth living, and then I feel guilty for thinking these things. Also, I feel like no matter what I do to try to change myself, no one's ever happy with me. It's a stupid way of thinking, I know that I'm overreacting and that no one hates me but I can't shake the feeling that I'm just useless. I just don't want to be here anymore. I've struggled with these feelings for years and I want to tell someone but I have no idea who to tell. Whenever I try to bring up these subjects to my parents they act like mental health doesn't exist.

I feel selfish for having self harm thoughts

replies: 5

I’d probobly regret posting about this in the morning, but I just really needed to talk to someone, for someone to understand. I’m a 15yearold who struggles with depression and anxiety. I can not afford going to a medical professional nor does my family have the time to take me, they do not think it’s a great deal of an issue so I’m really stuck here with invalidating my own thoughts, and wondering if I’m doing this for attention or if it’s not a big deal. latley, I have been feeling like I can’t talk to anyone. All my friends have their own problems and I don’t want the burden of my nonsense to be on their plate aswell. Recently everytime I feel like I’ve failed or disappointed someone, I have an urge to harm my self. Ive struggled with self harm in the past when I was 12, I only did it once or twice. I do not know why. I haven’t told anyone about this and I haven’t told anyone about the constant build up of having the urge to do it again. am I bad person for wanting a break? All my friends do is tell me about their problems, and I love helping them I really do. I listen to them and I support them the way I can. For example my friend is struggling through the start of developing Ed. I went through something similar to what she is going through in the past, and still are. I listened and understood, I supported her and helped her. But I felt bad, for some reason I felt selfish for wanting her to ask if I’m okay. Because during these conversations I’d think about my self harm and intrusive thoughts. And recently she told me she wasn't doing well whilst we were on a call. And I felt like a failed. I felt like a horrible person and I felt like I couldn’t help her. everything piled up over and over again and my head started ringing. why do I feel selfish for wanting to be asked if I’m okay. I don’t have the confidence to end my life, and that’s not why I do self-harm. I do it to my self for punishment. I feel stupid

Gambling partner

replies: 6

Hi everyone, I’m here because I have literally no one to talk to. My partner has a gambling addiction and is really abusing me emotionally. I turned from confident and happy woman to a suicidal mess. I don’t have family or friends, literally no one t... View more

Having a hard time

replies: 3

I’m having a very hard time at the moment with a lot of things affecting me and stressing me out. The main one is the biggest one-my Mum and brother are stopping me from selling my house as it’s in my mum’s name and she refuses to transfer it into mine. There’s a lot more to the story but I won’t get into it all, I’ll just say that this has been building up in me for so long and I’m now at breaking point. I have a 3 yr old daughter who I care for and I know she is a toddler and is tough to handle at times…it’s just that I wouldn’t find it so stressful trying to handle her if I wasn’t overshadowed by this horrible family thing hanging over me constantly. I’m finding it harder every day now to deal with the smaller general issues lately, eg only last week after leaving my phone on the bus I almost had a crippling anxiety attack which also brought on my asthma. I felt so terrified and scared that I may have lost my phone(I got it back tho). My psych has said my reaction is the sign of a very overly stressed girl who is drowning. I’m having trouble sleeping, I’ve gained a tonne of weight and this evening it has hit its low point, I’m just pacing around the house like a caged animal losing its mind…and all I can think of is that I’d be much happier just to be dead. And that has really scared me now bcos I have 2 gorgeous daughters who I cherish and in one moment I think about them but it quickly disappears and I just think I don’t want this anymore. I try convince myself they will be okay if I died. So it’s now I believe I should voluntarily check myself into a mental facility for a couple of days bcos the thoughts are not fading and I’m feeling more and more of wanting to give up.

Can't get past it..roller-coaster

replies: 1

I am a professional and have kids. One is adult and one mid teens. I am on leave due to a suicide attempt about 5 weeks ago. It's not my first attempt. I think i subconsciously stopped because of my youngest daughter. A year ago i reached such a milestone..i was managing my depression well..and i met a nice man after over 3 years divorced. That ended a coulle months ago..because of me. I got sick..became insecure and witnessed not one but 2 deaths. One a police shooting..and then a horrific accident where a man died right infront of me. It lead to ptsd and my depression came back full force. My partner pulled away..he showed no affection or support..i guess he didn't know how to handle it. All this in under 9 months. Now I'm severely depressed and anxious and feel I'm not improving. Some days i do..but then i wake one day and just want to die. I am so lost. I feel everyone is sick of my problem. I isolate. And now my daughter has gone to see her dad for the weekend and i am feeling.extremely lonely and lost. I just wish it would stop. I am off work until august and i feel anxious about not being there..but anxious about returning. I'm so very lost.

They're sending me away

replies: 4

My parents are going to send me away if I fail my exams. If that happens, I'm not sure what I'll do. My school councellor has agreed that ADHD is very likely what I have, but my parents won't help me. "If you're strong you can beat it on your own". I am almost certain I won't be returning back to school next term, so I don't see any point in trying anymore. I have an assignment due in an hour that I've barely started, and three 2 hour exams later this week. If I get anything below a B, I'm out. My parents are counting down the seconds until they can kick me out, they've been threatening this all year. I don't think I'll survive on my own, even if I have my grandparents help. The shame would be too much. Everyone thought I could be something great, but I might just end up flipping burgers for the rest of my life. I don't want that life. I don't even want to live unless I become successful, which is not going to happen at this point. My dream was always to be a doctor, something my parents used to support me in. I can't become a doctor, not with these grades, not with this effort level. I vowed 6 years ago that I would not live past the age of 18. Should I enjoy my last year as much as I can? Or should I not waste any more time?

Self harm and suicidal thoughts, feel like burden to relationship to speak up

replies: 2

Hi, this is difficult to say so I apologise if I don’t make all much sense but, I’m having these horrible thoughts around myself, they was I think and feel about my self, and very strong urges to self harm and my suicidal thoughts just keep getting stronger. I tried to call the crisis team two nights ago they spoke to me for maybe 5 minutes before telling me to take more medication and go to bed they weren’t helpful at all so I’m reluctant to call them again as I feel they just don’t care. I would usually try to go to my partner when I feel this way but I feel like such a burden to him. I feel guilty for how bad my mental health is and how he has to deal with it everyday. He’s told me I cause his a lot of stress and make things hard for him and he feels like a carer to me. That made me feel so awful bc I help him anytime him needs even if I’m not okay I do all I can to help and make sure his okay with out making him feel like a problem. And that’s exactly how I feel to him at the moment, I feel like I’m just to much for everyone. I’m just not sure who to turn to, I don’t have any friends really, I’m to scared to let anyone to close as they always leave or find me to much.

I think about it alot

replies: 2

Hi I am new here and just really feel isolated and alone and its pretty hard coping. I always hide my depression with a bright smile that none ever sees the sadness within. I became separated from my husband and I suffered through alot of mental abuse from him i would self harm. Why,? It was a form of self punishment that I didn't understand until later. I've stopped doing it because I know its wrong but the scars are there forever. I smoke alot. Too much and it somewhat relieves my depression and anger and I can't stop. I think maybe I can smoke so much it will indirectly kill me. Its wrong I know it but its so hard. I try I really do I try to stay strong and brave and confident but when you've been mentally abused for so long its hard to come out of it alone.

Tried to call. Feeling very bad. Who can I talk to?

replies: 2

Hello, I need some help. I tried calling the hotline. I said I was experiencing suicidal thoughts and the counsellor ended the call ended after 11 minutes. I wish I never called. I think that's an awful way to treat another human being and I feel worse. I don't understand, who am I supposed to talk to? I told her things aren't working out with my therapist. She told me that I didn't connect with the therapist and that's what happens to people and to just find a new therapist and gave me a website. I expressed that I don't really have the resources for that. Then she ended the call, like that instantly fixes everything. I said oh dear this isn't good, and she continued to end the call. That is very dismissive. I don't understand. What am I supposed to do wait until I'm worse? I just wanted to talk to someone. Who can I talk to? I really regret making that phone call. I just want to get better. I thought the the helplines were supposed to be there for help I don't know what to do about how I am feeling. I don't understand why these scenarios keep popping in my head that I am gone. I don't want to die. I feel very alone and scared right now. I feel like everytime I reach out to another person for support it doesn't work and makes things worse. I don't know what to do. I'm trying to manage it on my own I'm trying to get better. Thanks

Calling the hotline

replies: 2

I want to call the hotline but I am unsure of what it is like and what questions are asked or if I am causing a bother?

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I dont want to be here replies: 6

I feel selfish for having self harm thoughts replies: 5

Gambling partner replies: 6

Having a hard time replies: 3

Can't get past it..roller-coaster replies: 1

They're sending me away replies: 4

Self harm and suicidal thoughts, feel like burden to relationship to speak up replies: 2

I think about it alot replies: 2

Tried to call. Feeling very bad. Who can I talk to? replies: 2

Calling the hotline replies: 2