Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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I gave in today. I just can't deal any more.

replies: 3

My aunt just passed away unexpectedly and im holding everyone up and being the strong one. The guy who's my best friend who has bpd and also self harms needs space because I broke his heart. I just got my steam account hacked and $1250 worth of items I'll never get back and posting on reddit got me abused. People who ive been there for and helped haven't even offered a message or anything. My neighbours are suing over the fence they destroyed. My mother is physically sick and im desperately so worried. My nan is getting so thin due to not eating at 85 from her sisters death. I have borderline personality and now my new psychiatrist thinks I have adhd. I feel so alone. I just want my items back but steam won't do anything eventhough the accounts have bot#53 in their names. I worked on getting that limited edition stuff for 10 years. I'm so devastated. I can't bring my aunt back nor my friend so at least give me my items I paid for. I've been laying in bed for hours and I ended up self harming. I just feel so alone and need help but when I reached for it I got bad mouthed.

The impulse just becomes more frequent and more serious

replies: 3

this post ended up basically just being a collection of things i wanted to vent about, sorry I used to only think about suicide maybe once a month or so, and it was very hypothetical. Over the last few months-year it's become much more of a thing in my mind, and recently I've had a few days planning to attempt it until it fell off later on. I don't know what's wrong with me but I'm just, generally not happy. My mood goes up and down a fair bit, but has become more consistently down over time. I don't enjoy much, everything feels like a huge, draining effort, and I'm just incapable of a lot of things anyway. I've been neglecting hygiene a lot more, I rarely end up showering more than once a week, though I guess that's normal for me. I've been overeating a lot, just because I have poor self control and it feels good, though I hate that I'm getting even fatter now. I was prescribed taking srri's for a bit, stopped taking them recently, I don't think I noticed any change. I've been referred to a psychiatrist over this and the possibility of ADHD, though the earliest I can see them is April. I don't know what I'm going to do once school starts again, I do absolutely nothing in class and have had declining grades and been failing more recently, I don't know how I'm supposed to be able to complete my assignments or major works when all I can bring myself to do is sit there and stare. I worry about how I'm meant to have any kind of future, I feel worthless, lazy and useless as a person, and worry a lot about wasting time and all the things I've missed out on already, and get jealous of other people's lives and qualities. I spend a lot of time just trying to get attention with my appearance or whatever online, though I can't post in the space I do that anymore so I guess that's over. this post kinda ended up just being a collection of things i wanted to vent about and wasn't really about anything I guess, sorry. probably forgot a bunch of stuff too.

Not sure on the best path forward

replies: 27

The older I get the more back story there is for anything to make sense and I don't like talking about myself at the best of times. It's been 15 years since I attempted suicide, 12 since I last self harmed. Since then I've gotten married and have a 1 year old now, so I don't want to be getting worse, I need to provide for my family. If I thought I could get away with it I would probably have fallen back into my old self harm habits. If I was going to kill myself I'd do my best to make it look like an accident, to be clear, I think it's very unlikely, but it's also at the forefront of my thoughts and the fact that I don't think it's an option makes me feel even more trapped. I saw a psychologist 6 years ago and was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum, that helped in a lot of ways, but made things harder in other ways. I'm more self aware about things, but that makes me realise that I am just incapable of passing for normal, no matter how hard I try. It was tough making that first step to see a professional and I'm not sure if I could do it again, maybe in the world of telehealth I would fare a little better though. What scares me the most is being hospitalised, apart from the obvious reasons, I've worked at the local hospital for 5 years now, I know everyone from security quite well, I've been in the mental health department to fix and upgrade a number of systems in recent years and I do my best to portray myself as a professional and keep myself in one piece. My anxiety went through the roof when I first had to work in the mental health department, although it actually seemed like a nice and safe space to be in as a patient, having a connection with so many people at the hospital terrifies me. I did try and talk to someone on online support yesterday, I just didn't know what to say, I don't know what I'm trying to do and it seems there are few options for people who struggle with talking face to face. At least, I think I'm looking in the right direction, even if I am slipping backwards.

Help with self-harm

replies: 5

Hello I have been struggling with sh for around 12 months. I have not yet found a truly motivating factor to stop and don't see the point in using alternative methods to release the tension when I don't find they work. I still seek help from my nearest and dearest but find it hard in difficult moments because I don't want to be stopped from sh. Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience and what you would recommend.

Lost and broken

replies: 2

Hey, First I better mention I'm not at risk of doing something silly despite the fact I dream of it every night and struggle with not wanting to be around. But I need help so I'll try paint the picture of my situation so someone can hopefully point me in right direction or give me tips some tips on staying alive to find my self worth and happy place again because Ive hit rock bottom. I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and have a very addictive personality. I know what I do is not helping my situation but can't seem to stop especially with the gambling. Everytime I start going okay I keep self sabotaging going further backwards than where I was and end up hurting the ones closest to me. I have 3 beautiful kids that I love dearly but In my eyes they better off without me. It's pretty sad when my oldest has told me she can't remember the last time I smiled. I just don't want to b here anymore and I can't keep living like this. Everytime I seek help I just end up getting thrown around from referral to referral and end up giving up Instead of getting to the bottom of it. I even a tried engaging in a social worker that was ment to b helping me sort out all my triggers and I explained that she has to book the appointments in and I'll b fine but if it's up to me to book I won't. Must have been put in the too hard basket never heard from her again. I've tried about 8 different medications nothing seems to help they just upset my stomach. I do struggle committing to this properly cause nothing has ever seemed to help and everything has escalated so got no idea where to start So this is my last chance to find my happy place, I come back from here before so i know I can do it again just need things in place to stop me falling back down. Really wish someone could tell me where do I start and what you do

Fear of suicide

replies: 3

Can anyone help me better understand this. I gave birth 3 years ago, when my child was 1 had a panic attack. I ended up in hospital and the hospital told me to see my gp. The gp put me on antidepressants. I tried antidepressants for 10months however I developed severe anxiety and for the first time in my life depression while I was on the medication. I tried several types of AD. When I decided to stop I seen a gp who said just stop. I of course suffered withdrawal syndrome and it was very severe to the point where I had become suicidal also had ocd intrusive thoughts. 1 year since on since stopping AD I have been back to myself and who I was before I ever started them I have however developed a huge fear of the word suicide. Even just reading about it sends fear into me and dark memories as it reminds me of that dark place and the depression and ocd intrusive thoughts I went through. It makes me believe I would go there mentally again even if I dont want to. it has impacted my life where I am scared to have a second child due to the thought of it triggering depression, ocd intrusive thoughts and suicidal thoughts on its own as now I might be prone to it. Does anyone have any experience or know if medicine induced depression, ocd and suicidal thoughts can cause me to go down that path again if I was to have a second baby? Without taking AD this time Does anyone have any sort of simular experience or can shed any light on my situation. Really want another baby but scared of suicidal thoughts and intrusive OCD returning. I know they say if you had postnatal depression first time high chance second time round what if first time round was medicine induced though? Confused please help

A week

replies: 3

I've gone a week without an alcoholic binge. I can't deal with the torrent of negative thoughts, the feelings of worthlessness and the utter hopelessness when considering the future. I don't know how to deal with this responsibly. I can't just keep soaking my brain in liquor indefinitely. Over the past couple of years I've used several meds for extended periods with some mild relief but the side effects are real. I feel as though I'm not treated seriously by my psychiatrist and psychologist, probably because I smile and present decently, and this in a twisted way allures me towards externalising my turmoil in a way that is more extreme and noticeable. It seems to me the correct and proper paths to improvement have been explored and have proven fruitless. Not sure what else to do. Maybe things need to get worse in order to get better or is this just demented depressive logic? Felix

I know l need help

replies: 3

Hi I'm not sure what l'm meant to say here, l do need help, l sit for hours thinking about calling one of the help lines but never do, Yes l think daily of ending it all , at the same time l dont want to die, l just want it to end if that makes any sense I'm in my mid 50's and not one to show my emotions, but find my self in tears every day even as l am writing this. I have a couple of health issues, and what seems like more and more personal problems every day. I finally broke down in my gp's office and asked for for help , he was very nice but told me he's not a psychiatrist and that's who l need to talk to and gave me some contact numbers , that was 3 weeks ago and l still haven't the courage to contact anyone. I have turned to a few family members and friends only to be told to hang in there . I'm not sure what l need or what l'm looking for here, but lm getting desperate for help that l'm scared to ask for .. I spend more days locked in my bedroom than l turn up for work, even knowing it will soon cause me to lose my job.. Thank you for listening:(

The inner pain that is killing and destroying me, and the life I never deserved

replies: 3

I am literally one of the saddest person you have ever come across. I had literally endured loneliness, bullying (school, social media, in public, etc.), trauma from unhappy experiences, no partner and friends, other mental illnesses (autism, OCD, schizophrenia) ...all signs of a mundane and miserable life. I even attempted suicide twice but failed, and literally cried at night in bed sometimes. I hardly talk, lack trust and shy away from outside people. I feel like no one cares or hated (by majority of the public). I could hardly get what I desperately want in life. I had no motivation, courage, hope or drive to do things, am withdrawn to my recluse life. Why me? Why must I suffer? I deserve better like everyone else, why must it be this way? Never have I ever got respect, appreciation or empathy from outside people. Depression to them is such nonsense. They either shut you down or berate you. They are never a call or text away like they normally promise. Words of comfort are nothing if they can't be there when you desperately need them to. Guess I'll disappear, it will only afterwards then they realise they need to start putting in more efforts and take it with more priorities. I have no faith in humanity anymore.

Suicidal thoughts and Self harm.

replies: 2

Hi, I don’t know where to start from. I still remember i first tried SH when I was maybe 7th grade? Everyone expected too much and i was not able to cope. Self-harming. Mom thought it was accident. I stayed quite. Self isolated from everyone after the incident. No one questioned. We moved to a different city then life was back to normal for everyone. I cried quietly everyday, no friends unless its a closest family friend. I can still count my friends in my hand. I pretended to be happy and fast forward 10 years later. My life wasn’t bed of roses but i was surviving with minimal nightmares. Then, i got legally married to a stranger whom i met 3 days before the date of marriage. He treated me well I wasn’t thinking straight my family loves him. I got pregnant, he asked me to abort , I agreed without asking further questions. I cried every night, i have nightmares but he is too busy to notice. Last year I tried again after staying clean for 10 years. Attempted suicide three times but i woke after 8-10 years like i was sleeping. No one noticed. I’m clean for nearly 10 months now. But suddenly i get strong urges, i still feel the pain, nightmares?, chills. my confidence has gone down hill since then. I get flashbacks every now and then. I shared with friend who asked me to seek help but then i lashed out at her. Idk why. I don’t know what I want to do i just want this pain go away.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I gave in today. I just can't deal any more. replies: 3

The impulse just becomes more frequent and more serious replies: 3

Not sure on the best path forward replies: 27

Help with self-harm replies: 5

Lost and broken replies: 2

Fear of suicide replies: 3

A week replies: 3

I know l need help replies: 3

The inner pain that is killing and destroying me, and the life I never deserved replies: 3

Suicidal thoughts and Self harm. replies: 2