Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section

replies: 0

Hi there, Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm section of the Beyond Blue Forums. Life gets pretty hard sometimes, and many people here on the Forums have had times where they have thought about harming themselves or ending their life. This can be a deeply distressing experience, and this section is here to support members who have had these experiences. This section is not a crisis support service. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these Forums. Please call: Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467 (24/7) Lifeline on 13 11 14 (24/7) If it is an emergency, contact emergency services on 000. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for support and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of the Forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. If after a period of time you no longer wish others to engage in the discussion you have started, please use the 'Report Post' button and request the discussion be locked to prevent any further replies. Thank you for being here, we're glad you're here. Treat yourself gently as you read through this section. Beyond Blue

by BeyondBlue •

Community Manager•

Posted in Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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4 weeks ago

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

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Struggling

replies: 23

I'm new to the forums, despite the fact that I probably should have been on here years ago. The pandemic has been hard on everyone, myself included. I have lost my job at a University, where I have been a casual, but with consistent work, for 8 years. I had been planning to change career paths, but that plan, as well as every other plan collapsed this week with my wife and best friend saying that she wants to separate. I know that living with someone with depression and anxiety can be difficult, but she always assured me that she loved me and would always stand by me. I'm sure she meant it at the time, but even then I knew on some level that eventually she would get tired of it. I have been crying for three days with very little intermission. I have absolutely no support system, as I have no friends at all and I am estranged from my family. In a nutshell, the future I had been dreaming of is completely shattered. This would not be quite as distressing if I were still young, but I have just turned 47, so starting over, especially with debts, will not be easy at all. To make matters worse, I am struggling to see any point in starting over. I was pretty dissatisfied with the world before this, but always had my wife to remind me that it's not all bad. She didn't even have to say anything. Just knowing she was there was enough. Now she's not. I haven't eaten nor stopped crying for any real period of time in over 2 days and can't sleep without a lot of help from prescription drugs. I have always thought that I had the tools to deal with most issues that life sends my way, but this is so much worse than I ever could have imagined. I'm desperate for someone to talk to, but most therapists are booked out and the hotlines haven't been much help due to the short consultation times and the fact that I can't even see who I'm talking to. Keeping busy doesn't help, as reality just hits that much harder when I'm done with whatever I was doing. I wouldn't kill myself (at least in the short term) as I know how much it would hurt her, but I don't really see the point in living a pointless existence either, so I'm at an impass. Any advice (apart from calling the free counselling numbers, of course) would be welcome.

self sabotage?

replies: 1

hi, new to posting here. the situation is stupid. i was at a friends at a get together with maybe 10 ppl, most i know well a few i didn’t. a guy left to go home. when i left later i saw he left his vape on the couch, and i put it in my back pocket. i left her apartment, and he was on his way back upstairs to get it. i just told him i hope he found it. i couldn’t just say “oh yeah i have it” or try to follow him upstairs and naturally procure it for him. so i just left. idk what i was thinking, it can’t just magically disappear. he’s going to think someone stole it. which i did. i feel like shit about it. i hate smoking and i hate the feeling of nicotine. recently i had some bloods done to check my testosterone levels (i’m a trans guy) and my doctor told me my liver wasnt looking good, asked if i drank a lot. i think i might. i sometimes drink a whole bottle of wine just while watching movies in the evening. i join my parents for a couple glasses of wine. i also go out with friends and drink at least once a week, and usually 8 standards minimum. so in my head i wonder if i took the vape bc i want a substitute for drinking..? but i also feel i could just knuckle down and not drink by myself firstly, don’t drink with parents, and curb drinking with friends. but when my friends do things we usually go clubbing or house party kinda situations. i feel dysphoric and have stopped doing any form of exercise for at least 8 months now. or maybe i’m just lazy and can’t change my life style. i can’t tell which is the truth. i have top surgery booked for february next year, but i’m scared of telling myself everything will improve after that, bc deep down i think it’s a lifestyle choice not my dysphoria. but also dysphoria obviously doesn’t help and does impact me but i don’t think it’s the only reason. i feel anxious immoral and awful for taking the vape. idk why that vape feels so symbolic to me rn. i feel like i should like hurt myself or smthn to somehow prove i need help. i have tried to “get help” but found it easy to show how these fucked up parts of myself happen so irregularly, and drinking hasn’t really presented itself as an addiction or anything serious. i feel like i’m in a grey area where i could get my shit together or slide into a dark place. but i mostly exist as a perfectly studious, working self sufficient person. just shit like this creeps up and makes me unable to sleep some nights. guh.

Site Maintenance - Brief Forum Outage Tonight

replies: 0

Dear community members, There will be a brief website outage from 12am Thursday the 26th of August AEST in order to upgrade and maintain our online systems. The expected downtime will be approximately four hours, however due to the nature of the work, may take a little longer. During this maintenance access to the forums will be down - we apologise for any distress this may cause and will be working to make this as short a disruption as possible. These maintenance works are important to ensuring our systems continue to be as useful and sustainable as possible into the future. If you need support while the forums are not available, please call Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636 or Lifeline on 13 11 14. You are not alone if you need help, we are here to support you. If at any time you feel that you are unsafe, please know that this is an emergency and you should call 000 immediately. Thank you for your understanding as we continue to improve the online experience. Kind regards, Sophie M

I need help

replies: 3

Hi. I don't know how to start this or anything but lately I've been struggling really bad with suicidal thoughts. I hate it. I don't like it. It's mainly caused by relationship problems. I just can't seem to keep one and I fall for people too quickly which leads to me getting hurt easily and then constantly feeling like I'm not good enough for anyone. I over think slot in relationships and it messes it up. I don't know why I do the things I do I just do it. I've been depressed for 5-6 years or so now but the suicidal thoughts have been for about 2 years. I always feel like it would be better for me to just go. I can't leave my mother tho but at the same time the thoughts and I guess you could say voices are eating me alive. I know I need therapy but I can't bring myself to do it. I always say "why should I? They don't know me so how are they gonna help" I don't want just a random person to help me. I want someone I trust. Someone I love. Someone that genuinely cares about me. I could always talk to my mum but I feel like talking to her would make her think differently but she's not like that's she's very supportive and is always pushing me to do my best but I just can't seem to go and talk with her. I just want someone. I'm tired of trying to do this on my own. I can't. It's too much

Am i strong or weak

replies: 1

What you know about suicide? I am recently seperated and i have a beautiful terminally ill three year old. i'll probably out live my son.. well.. im always so sad life's so boring, i work for less than minimum wage in a very physical job, im paranoid as hell and i dont do drugs, mostly. I just want more money, because contrary to the famous quote.. -it does buy happiness Yea, i think thats all i need, money would probably actually be the cure for my depression and lack of care of my own life. funny. Apparently these are my thoughts right now, huh Ive got to be there for my son, i dont want him to lose me, or my dad to lose me either. im survivng for them.. they would have a clue, i always tell them how great my life is going. my friends think im a happy person. going through some shit, but honestly im pretty sure they're probably as depressed as me, we wouldnt talk about it though, we're tough men arent we? i dont know why im writing this, what do you guys actually do here?

Can't cope with life anymore

replies: 6

Hi everyone, I'll start by going over some backstory about myself. I've studied a few tafe courses the last three years, spent a lot of time clearing out my previous house before moving as well as losing weight. I've never had a job or a girlfriend. And now, I honestly don't care about those things anymore. I cry every night or every second night and I can't sleep until the early hours of the morning. I've tried to seek help but haven't had any luck with the psychologists I've seen. I've got burnout really bad this year and had to take a few months off from uni because I couldn't cope with it. My dad has burnout worse than I do. I'm not sure how I can really help him though with the issues I'm going through. Recently, I'd say a lot of my days are terrible. Some are okay and even good but those are few and far between. I'm so sick and tired of life in general. I've tried my best but I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm currently enrolled in a uni course but I don't feel like I deserve to be there. It's like I'm taking up a spot that another student should have. I also don't believe I'll ever be happy on a regular basis. I would give up all my material possessions like my figurines if I could truly be happy the majority of my life. The only thing I want to do is encourage a few people at uni before I die. I want other people to do well in life and the course regardless of what happens to me. Suicide has seemed like my only option for a number of years now. I could have been happy but it's not meant to be. Moving hasn't changed that and I'm surprised at how stressed, depressed and anxious I've felt in 2021. I've also been pushing people away for a number of years now so they don't get to know me. My death would only hurt them too. Besides they're better off without me. I think I've wasted my life and any shot at happiness. I'm 27 years old and I dread having to live even a few more years on this planet. My parents by comparison are in their 60s and I told them that I wouldn't want to reach their age. That's too long for me. The only thing that has kept me going the last few years has been helping my mum and dad along with studying. Now that we've moved my parents don't need me to help financially as much. I'm also not enjoying uni because I'm socially inept, depressed and anxious. I'm seeing my gp next Wednesday for medication. At least that numbs my feelings, I suppose. Has anyone else got any advice? Kind Regards, Stressed Guy

Can't keep doing this...

replies: 3

Hi, sorry for the gloomy post but things are tough... I have psychotic depression amongst other stuff. A month ago I had a miscarriage which has been hard. I don't have alot of support and have lost all my friends. I need to give up this fight, I've ... View more

it’s 2 am and i feel alone

replies: 3

i suffer from anxiety and depression and when it’s night time and i’m by myself i think about all the trauma that has happened in my life and how low of a place i feel i am in right now. i am getting support and talking to psychologists and paediatricians but i still feel like i’m not doing good and nothing will get better. and i cant sleep when i’m having thoughts like these and being stuck in my own head even though i took my sleeping tablet. i catch myself being awake all night till early in the morning and it’s so unhealthy and exhausting. i feel like a waste of space a lot of the time even if people tell me i’m not. i feel like i’m stuck in this stage of my life and i honestly have no clue what to do with myself anymore. i don’t have any suicide plans but a lot of the times i feel like i don’t want to exist anymore and what is the point of being here. and i’m so scared to tell people that i know this because i don’t want to go to a psych ward or something. like i just don’t know, i’m so stuck in my own thoughts and it is so exhausting.

i just dont know what to do.

replies: 3

its just been really hard lately and i need some advice. everyone is always leaving and picking other people over me. i just want one person to care, i need someone to care. but nobody does and i dont know what to do. these thoughts keep running through my mind and its scary, i dont want to live anymore. but im still scared to die. i feel like my parents just dont care, they have so much to deal with my everything else going on in their lives, and i dont want to burden them, so i havent said anything. the only friends i have left arent real friends, they dont care about me. they just use and betray me, and it hurts. so i just dont know what to do. ive been self-harming for a while because its the only way to take away pain from what im feeling. people always dismiss my feelings and no ones ever really cared, but idk, i feel like this is real. and its becoming too much. ive written letters to everyone i love and even the people who have made me feel this way. people say suicide is a permenant solution to a temporary problem, but this isnt going away and its been here for a while now. im just looking for someone to care, to give me advice because i just dont know what to do.

Wanting to die

replies: 3

Has anyone live with TTM. Always had Bad luck all ur life. Told ur ugly useless. And ur owe family tell you to go away they are busy! all you have is ur owe beep dark depressing thoughts, and laughing when u talk about suicide. That where I am!

Welcome to the Suicide and Self-Harm Section replies: 0

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

Struggling replies: 23

self sabotage? replies: 1

Site Maintenance - Brief Forum Outage Tonight replies: 0

I need help replies: 3

Am i strong or weak replies: 1

Can't cope with life anymore replies: 6

Can't keep doing this... replies: 3

it’s 2 am and i feel alone replies: 3

i just dont know what to do. replies: 3

Wanting to die replies: 3