Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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So tired

replies: 5

I don't have anyone else to say this to. I am just so tired. Physically and mentally. Physically I want to sleep all the time, my iron levels are very low. Mentally I'm tired of being here. Tired of dealing with myself and everything else. I'm just n... View more

I really don't know what to do anymore

replies: 1

TLDR of my past year: COVID took my job, my house, and my happiness away and I had to move back with my shithead father. My mother continues to choose my brothers' narcissistic girlfriend over me and hasn't talked to me in months. My cousin had a wedding yesterday and I wasn't invited. I am the black sheep of the family due to being disabled. My father is an ableist bigot who is racist (I have a lot of Asian friends and every time I mention anything that could be remotely Asian he starts mocking the accent and the language (i have asked him to stop it hundreds of times but he doesn't)) and homo/transphobic which is completely against my views. He is controlling (I cannot bring anything into the house be it food, makeup, anything without being questioned like a criminal), tone-deaf, misogynistic and just awful. I am Autistic with ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder with Self Harming Tendencies, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD and have an eating disorder. Long story short, I am very messed up. I don't have in person friends and, as I've already said, I don't have family support. I get screamed at in my house for breathing incorrectly, and then he plays the victim and "I don't know why you're so mad at me" YOU LITERALLY JUST SCREAMED AT ME AND CALLED ME A CHILD FOR HAVING AN AUTISTIC TICK WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHY. I am studying Education and have my first prac next semester and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I can't get out of bed, I cry at least once a day, my self harming keeps getting worse, I have no money and Centrelink won't help me as apparently 9 psychological and mental disorders "isn't disabled enough for assistance". Every day that I wake up I am sad that I didn't die in my sleep. (I am early 20s). I was on medication and doing so much better when my liver failed and I can no longer take any medication at all. I am in therapy but seeing her once every two weeks feels like it's not enough but again, no money. I can't afford to see her more often. I am just so confused and upset and have no idea what to do. What even can I do? Nothing. That's the answer. I can't do anything. I can't be sad because I get yelled at by my father. I can't tell him anything because he just yells at me, tells to grow up and get over myself. I have a doctor, a psychologist and a psychiatrist but no one seems to be helping this numbness and emptiness I feel. I don't know what to do.

my life of OCD and Depression

replies: 5

so i guess long story short i suffer from OCD with god whenever i did the sin of lust i would have to do a ritual that was difficult to do however i got married so that sin wouldent applied since it was sex in married however for some reason in my head my mind says that the children i have with my wife will be the chosen ones and i have to have them. however we already have one kid and i cant handle having another one nor do i want more than 1 so i havent done my ritual and my anxiety is going through the roof at any given time the world will fall thats my thought process at the moment and it scares me im feeling like suicide is the only way to stop the thoughts i have a plan on how to do it but i dont want to die... anyway i hope you are all having a good day anyway just wanted to share my thoughts and short story

No future

replies: 2

Last year I had to go on Centrelink payments as all my work fell through due to Covid-19. Before then, I had put up with being chronically underemployed and constantly broke than deal with C'link's punitive, unhelpful brand of bs. Now I'm stuck in a small country town looking for 15 jobs a month (which will rise to 20 next month) where there aren't even 5 suitable jobs a month in this area that I could do. I have two volunteer jobs that I’m currently doing but as I’m under 55 this basically counts for nothing. I have a roof over my head at the moment, but the mental grind of doing this pointless Jobactive busywork, combined with constant job rejections, sleep issues, anxiety, Covid anxiety, depression, menopause symptoms and the realisation that I'm likely to be homeless in a decade is really making me wish that I wasn't here anymore. I explained all of this to my new doctor and all she did was stick me on a low dose of anti-depressants (which are affecting my memory and making me blank out in the middle of conversations – really handy when you’re in the middle of a job interview) and send me off to a community counsellor who provided little practical help. All the things that usually pull me out of a downward spiral are not working and I currently feel no hope for a future.

Blending in with kids that aren’t my kids

replies: 2

I have been in a relationship for 4 years and my partners children 1 female 19 years old and 1 male 21 years old, we don’t get on at all. My partner is the middle person and the kids and I do not speak a word to each other. My partner and I bought a house and we all tippy toe around each other. The son plays music that is annoying to me for the volume level. My partner says ‘just turn off’ I love my partner, I am unable to show her my love physically as I squirm knowing her children are in the house. I have contemplated leaving this life numerous times, I know that is weak, to move to the next as I am so sick of this life…………. thank you for reading.

feel like i can’t keep doing this.

replies: 5

my family is abusive. i miss my cat. i keep falling ill because my girlfriend and her mum keeps getting sick from work. i’m sick of being sick. it’s been three times in about the past month. i have really bad anxiety around illness and my girlfriend doesn’t respect it. i get really suicidal thoughts when i’m sick. i have nowhere to call home. i don’t have my cat, who is my best friend. i keep falling ill and there’s nothing i can do about it. i want to say that it’ll pass, but it feels like it never will. i can’t keep going like this. i’m exhausted. physically, mentally, emotionally. my family are being really terrible people. i just really miss my cat. i’m so sick of being sick. i just want my own home. that would solve all of this. i cant keep the act up. they say money doesn’t buy happiness, but it would get rid of at least 80% of my issues. i don’t want to be repetitive... but i just can’t do this. i’m in pain. i’m upset. i have nothing. nothing. now that i’m out of school and have no hope in buying a home anytime soon i have NOTHING. i feel so weak and worn out. i just really want to hug my cat right now.

struggling

replies: 3

so ive been struggling so much recently. i had this absolutely awful agitation in my head for about 2 weeks in april after on-going anxiety attacks and ocd symptoms. Ever since then its been a constant struggle with anxiety, panic attacks, derealisation, depersonalisation, brain fog and awful severe and chronic insomnia. Every day i feel weak and fatigued and im struggling with the unknown of the condition as to whether or not this is a mental or physical condition. I've always had strong health anxiety so im sure its the cause but its still so debilitating right now. It's gotten to the point where i'm seeking help from psychiatrists and psychologists every day and even frequently visiting the ER. Every night the symptoms are worse and the intrusive thoughts and agitation are unbearable, i simply can't stop them or distract myself from this. I'm getting some medication today for anxiety so hopefully that helps but im just really in a bad place and may even talk to my psychiatrist about inpatient treatment if it gets any worse. if anyone could recommend other methods of coping or any advice it would be greatly appreciated, because its getting very hard to cope and my intrusive thoughts have progressed to thoughts of suicide to relieve the pain from all of these symptoms.

I just feel so sad

replies: 4

I’m sorry for wasting your time. There are others that need you more but, the thing is that my teens are growing up. This is common, I know, the fact that they push me away is normal and healthy but... the thing is I have anxiety I am on meds for this but their words hurt me. Sometimes when I am down I hurt myself, it makes me feel better. It makes me feel alive. I feel anxious posting this, I may not come back and I think I will delete this message and my account.

Chronic ideation

replies: 33

Hi, Hopefully I'm within guidelines, let me know if not! So I've always struggled with anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation. The three things are almost like domino's, anxiety leading to depression to ideation, quite quickly. I finally had enough mid year and went to the GP and was put on SSRI. it helped a lot for months. Sadly, the crazy season tipped me over the edge and I feel hard. Interestingly, the warning sign for me is the prevalence of suicidal ideation that occurs. Those thoughts are always there (even when I'm relatively happy) but the thoughts are coming thick and fast now. I won't go into detail, but it is always the same mechanism of death, over and over and over. Last night I almost fell into old habits and called someone to stay using again (it has been a decade). The motivation for this was extremely scary, and holding back was hard. I woke up this morning again in a bad state (though better than yesterday). Does anyone have any advice on pushing through this? I don't want to feel like this anymore. Thanks

Want To Leave This Place

replies: 6

Two nights ago I was dropped off at the hospital by my friend. I was having a very unhappy night (which has been a regular occurrence for months now). I had been at home by myself for three nights, and I was very distressed and lonely. I ended up drinking half a bottle of vodka... I also self-harmed. I ended up messaging my friend, telling her I wanted to go to the hospital. She got one of our friend's to come round and pick me up. When they arrived, I was lying down on the floor in the lounge room. My friend drove me to the hospital. After waiting for four hours, I needed to rush to the toilet, as I started feeling like I needed to throw up all of a sudden. I knelt over the toilet, needing to vomit, but nothing was coming out, and I couldn't regurgitate or anything.... so I sat down on the toilet, then after a few moments, I started to rapidly overheat. I was so hot that I started to quickly strip off my clothes (my two jumpers). I wanted to take my t-shirt and pants off too, because I was so hot, but I couldn't because I was in hospital. At this point, I was excessively sweating and felt really faint and dizzy. All of a sudden, I could feel this intense feeling, I could feel my ears losing their hearing (fading away), and it felt like my entire body and nervous system was fading away/about to shut down. Three nurses rushed in to help me... The exact same thing happened to me again after I was finally taken through into the hospital... After having blood test taken, I felt the same thing and started rapidly overheating, but this time it was 10 times more intense. I had to get back onto the floor and sit up against the wall. I felt so sick that I was making physical noises of pain and discomfort. Since that night, I have self harmed, and had urges to admit myself back into hospital.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

So tired replies: 5

I really don't know what to do anymore replies: 1

my life of OCD and Depression replies: 5

No future replies: 2

Blending in with kids that aren’t my kids replies: 2

feel like i can’t keep doing this. replies: 5

struggling replies: 3

I just feel so sad replies: 4

Chronic ideation replies: 33

Want To Leave This Place replies: 6