WA is choked, and i'm giving up.

[possumm]

there's a lack of psychiatrists, therapists.. all mental health care work here.

just getting a test to confirm something already diagnosed took 3 months to get into, and i've at least got the privelage of going private even if it was expensive.

i feel so so bad for them, i feel useless and like a waste of their time and i don't blame them for the situation they're in, please don't take my frustration as anger at them.

appts for my psychiatrist take 2 months every time. she's so busy, she can't even brush up on my details before i come in.please don't suggest 'get a new one', i've been through this song and dance three times, and many more with therapists.

my therapists' clinic isn't returning calls. she's the only person experienced with adhd i've found in my area after 3 years of searching, and the only person to point out that my adhd is the root of the anxiety and depression and directly work on that with me instead of disregarding me when i said i wanted to work on my adhd, because that's not in their wheelhouse.

i've been clinging on for so long, and forcing myself to work. two years ago i finally broke and quit and came to terms with how bad my working memory and speed of processing. (literally below 4% of the population on these tests i just had came in. glad to have evidence at least.)

i think the worst part of it is that my constant failure in the working world put my self worth to nothing. i've had to apply for disability over covid, i pay utilities and if i want to be seen in under four months i have to pay for that too, and they denied it because my medication has changed recently.

i need it in writing that my condition isn't going to significantly improve in the next 24 months, and my psychiatrist doesn't want to pull the trigger on that without further diagnostic work that takes MONTHS to get to, and treatment that's months apart and i end up having to have rehashed to me over and over because no amount of trying to write it down actually makes the memory stick!!

i'm so overwhelmed, and i'm so glad i'm living with my mum because i'd be dead by now if i wasn't, but i feel backed into a corner by all this and i was about to do something stupid to myself last night just to try to escape it. it's a constant thought in my head and i'm getting worse at convincing myself it's worth hanging on for. please help me.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Possumm, 

It sounds like you have had a really tough time recently trying to find a diagnosis and get a good treatment team around you. That must be a really difficult thing to be dealing with. We think that you have been incredibly brave and reseilient to continue to look for answers and support - well done. It is also really brave to come to the forums for support and to share you experiences. 

We will be reaching out to you via email as it looks like you have had a really tough time of it in the last day or so but there are some other options for you to look at if you want to. 

We think it would be a great thing to do to give our phoneline a call on 1300 22 4636 and speak to one of our counsellors about how you have been feeling. Lifeline 13 11 14 are also brilliant if you would prefer. 

Please remember that if you do not feel safe that this is an emergency and you should call 000. 

Thank you again for coming and joining our friendly online community - we think you have been very brave. Please feel free to come back and update us on how you are going, or join in some other conversations on the forums - everyone is super friendly!

Kind regards, 
Sophie M

[Archer19]

Hi Posumm,

please call Beyond blue or Lifeline, they are amazing.. call everyday if you need to.

It’s a terrible position to be in and my psychologist is really busy too..fortunately I can text her and she then replies shortly after.. sometimes a day later

The councellor at Beyond blue one early morning reminded me of a list I have when my anxious mind is in negative overdrive.. it’s a list if things to do to get out of your mind

-write down what you’re feeling

-look around the room, what do you see

-go outside, take a few deep breaths slowly

-write down 10 things that your grateful for

-call a friend, tell them, remember you are not a burden, friends want to feel needed and you are providing them an opportunity to help

- listen to music

-watch old music videos from the 80’s

-have a time for worrying and stick to it, then tell yourself you’ve allowed enough time today for worry

-listen to guided positive meditation

- go for a walk, force yourself to get out in the open air, even in the rain

The councillor at BB said I should write the list down and pick it up when those feelings and thoughts start, because when you experience them it’s hard to remember what to do.

Also, maybe see if you can get connected to a psychologist from another state via telephone.

I wish you light