Help with self-harm

BP9899 · ‎21-04-2021

Hello

I have been struggling with sh for around 12 months. I have not yet found a truly motivating factor to stop and don't see the point in using alternative methods to release the tension when I don't find they work. I still seek help from my nearest and dearest but find it hard in difficult moments because I don't want to be stopped from sh. Just wondering if anyone else has had this experience and what you would recommend.

Sophie_M · ‎21-04-2021

Hi BP9899,

Welcome, and thank you for reaching out to our valued online community. We're sorry to hear that you have been self harming and that you've been struggling to stop. It sounds like you have some loved ones to support you through this tough period which is positive. Can we ask if you are receiving any mental health support?

You might be interested in looking at one of our threads, "Instead of harming myself I now...". This page is filled with ideas by other community members like you, who use (or have previously used) self harm as a negative coping strategy.

If you feel it may be helpful, you are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under. They operate 24/7 and can offer support and advice.

Thanks again for reaching out here. Hopefully a few of our members will be by over the next few days to welcome you and perhaps offer some sage words of advice.

Aaronsis · ‎22-04-2021

Hello BP9899

Welcome to the forum and for reaching out to get some conversation started for you with regards to SH and how you are feeling about this and about other things in your life.

I feel like you have summed up something so very common in what others are saying here too, they recognize that clearly harming one's self is not good, however the desire to stop is also not there either. I am not sure because it is proving to be the only factor that seems to "work" or seems to "stop" or maybe even "start" a feeling, whether that be relief or freedom or the internal pain being put at bay for a moment ...just to be free of the feelings for one moment.

Sophie M has given you some links to check out that are very interesting and I am wondering if you have had a chance to have a look and also what you think about what others are doing to try to manage the urges and also address that conflicting idea of actually not wanting to stop.

Can I ask you a question though, and please do not feel you have to answer. Do you perhaps feel like you don't want to stop because you have not yet found a suitable replacement to shut down the pain? If you could find an alternative activity or task to do rather than self harm would the urges still be there?

I am so very glad you have come to be apart of this community and to share how you are feeling and being so open, we are here for you to sit and to listen and to share some ideas too. We care so very much about you BP9899.

I look forward to chatting to you some more, if you would like.

Hugs

Sarah xxx

BP9899 · ‎23-04-2021

I have had a look at the resource and it is interesting to see what people have found has helped them. In some situations, these strategies do work for me. Things like patting a pet work well for me but I don't have a pet and I'm not in a position just yet to get one.

I used sh as a tension release but maybe also crossing into wanting to feel something sometimes. It is mostly that replacement behaviours like punching pillows, exercise, trying to socialise, do something I enjoy normally etc just aren't quite giving me the release I crave.

BP9899 · ‎23-04-2021

Sorry, I forgot to add that the urges are still there after I've tried alternative activities which doesn't relieve me of the urges if that makes sense.

Aaronsis · ‎26-04-2021

Good Morning BP9899

I am so happy to hear that you did check out the link, as I said, there are so many things that people are doing that are not just the insulting things of "flick and elastic band" or "draw on your wrist"....I am so proud of the community here for sharing such raw and personal details and hope that they do help another to give them some ideas on how to distract or even how to manage if the harm is acted apon.

I understand what you mean when you say you "want to feel", this is also a common statement and I wondered if you noticed that too. I also wanted to commend you on the fact that you know that patting a pet really helps you, that is so fantastic to hear that you have this knowledge of what works for you and makes you feel good. While you said that you don't have one at the moment I am wondering if even doing something like volunteering at a shelter would give you a few things actually....being around animals that would make you feel wonderful but also volunteering. See I find when I am in the community and doing things for others and servicing others it makes me feel so good, like I have helped or even made someone smile..the feeling is so wonderful.

I understand what you are saying in that the urges are still there. Please don't think that this is something that will just disappear over night, as you know it is a journey to manage this. I feel like you have started your journey and with a team of people in your corner fighting for you and along side of you there could be some wonderful progress for you.

I am so proud of you for chatting here and reaching out and I look forward to chatting some more with you.

Huge hugs

Sarah xx