Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.
Thank you I would never of done it without use people I was so close to ending it it wasn’t funny we are truly blessed to have beyond blue you saved another life and I can’t thank you enough when I get back on my feet I am going to give a good donation for all the wonderful people who helped me through this nightmare now I know what it was like for my work 2 friends and the lady that lost her husband but with your help I was strong enough to fight the dark thoughts . And by the way my name is Anthony I would still like to keep in touch with use beautiful people if that’s ok.
Hi everyone, sorry it's taken so long to message back, my life will probably never get back exactly the way it was but its pretty close I started my new job, and actually, she did me a favour by me losing my other job this one is way better I am now an orderly in a Hospital I meet new people every day taking them back to there rooms, I am so glad I got the help from use wonderful people we won the battle the dark thoughts never took over we beat them. but sadly I am just one of many trying to beat these dark thoughts, if only we could help them all because I know exactly what they would be going through, Thank you once again i will keep messaging, take care everyone and be safe. Regards Anthony
Please don’t ever be sorry about posting....It wonderful to hear from you and I’m so happy for you that at least one good positive came out of all your destress....
Those dark thoughts are so very hard to Choof off...but together we done it..especially pleased and happy that out beautiful Deebi has been with you right from the start...She really is a very caring person...like you are dear Farmer...
Please..lovely man....if you ever feel like up to you...you are so very welcome to talk to anyone here...with your lived experience you will be asset to others going through the same as you...No pressure Farmer.....it’s your choice..
So happy for you that your slowly but surely getting your life back..
Hi ☺ it's good seeing you matey thanks for keeping in touch it's warming knowing how you're going which sounds really good.
So glad you have another job that was a much needed major light when it was all so stacked up against you.
It'd be a refreshing change being an orderly and that you're liking meeting new people sounds good for you.
It was a victory of the best kind Farmer. I'm so happy that you didn't join your friends making the ultimate decision which also must be a relief for you especially that the right outcomes come at last.
Depression is so incredibly powerful on our minds. It has a deep impact on our moods and makes us feel there's no options as you've experienced.
Thing is there is and it's as you've and many people proven it can change.
So hard seeing that under the Black cloud though isn't it.
You conquered the beast.
I think without places like this there'd be higher suicide numbers that already are devastating.
Keep on keeping on Anthony and to your loving family please pass on the very best wishes for them and yourself to continue with a good life again 🤗 hug for anyone needing it.
Thanks for keeping in touch. It's ok just when and if you're wanting to post. No pressure here.
Good travels 🌱 new beginnings
🌿
Thanks precious Grandy for your lovely words 👩❤️👩 that apply to you too dear lady ☺
Hi sorry everyone for taking so long to get back to use, have been busy with my new job and everything else, but the problem is I still feel depressed I keep it to myself and don't show it but inside I am always sad, they were pretty serious false allegations made against me, I don't think I will ever get over it, how can one person be this evil, after all, we had done for her. I feel sad for her, we have never hated her for doing this and never will, we had been through hell and back, hope everyone is ok and i really do appreciate all your kind words and help, have a nice day. Regards Anthony
Good seeing you Anthony ☺ not good though but I think quite understandable hearing you're still feeling depression.
You've been through a major heavy ordeal taking it's toll on you physically and especially mentally poor man through nasty unjust accusations that were cruel and deeply hurtful. I doubt if anyone after that sort of rot can bounce back easily and quickly.
Especially that depression took you to rock bottom seeing at times suicide as the only release from the mental torture you were going through.
That takes time to recover from matey and it was over several solid mths you were living on the edge poor fella.
Time really can help with healing.
And adjusting to your new life that in some ways are better with the new job that I hope you're still happy with. So glad about that.
Anthony if you're ok with me suggesting that I think it'd be a good idea to talk to your wife about how you're feeling.
She sounds like a loving good lady who I'd think would want to know and be there to continue to support you as you have eachother.
She too possibly is feeling the same.
You both/all went through this including your younger daughter together.
I feel if dear Mrs Farmer found out later it's possible she could feel shut out and wonder why you chose not to reach to her.
Loves powerful.
Another option which potentially you both might benefit from is talking to someone in a professional capacity.
Maybe a psychologist or counsellor.
I'm unsure if there's free visits if someone works.
I really hope things becomes more settled sooner than later.
Something good is that depression can be managed which can be easier with guidance.
Be gentle with yourself ☺
Much care and support to you and your family 🌿
