Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Help needed

Community Member
Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.
185 Replies 185

Hi Farmer our beautiful Grandy and all ☺

Happy birthday dear Farmer. I hope you have a lovely day free of worry and hurt.

Hope it works out well for your wife. Thzt must be quite awkward keeping the foot elevated so high.

You're working very hard. Good man.

I'm so glad the sisters being a help. She sounds like a good soul.

Hope it's a nice calm sunny day for you where you are.

Good on you staying strong. That's the way.

Take care and try hard to think of the good things around you. Not easy is it but it gives your mind a rest even for a few seconds and some peace that you well deserve.

See you later ☺


Hi Farmer,

I'm really sorry that you've been through alot, but you sound like a really good person, trying to help kids do better and get a good education. Really touched by the many good things you're doing and it's given me strength today. Wishing you a belated birthday and a speedy recovery for your wife. Hope that things will get better for a kind person like you and your family.

Best wishes


Thank you for your kind words it’s giving me strength to fight off the dark thoughts, we were supposed to go to court on Wednesday just gone but she got it postponed, playing games it’s just one big game to her, the lawyer is wild he wants to put a stop to it but he can’t while she keeps postponing it, she knows the system it’s not the same person that lived with us for ten years she has changed so much since been out on her own. The sister that is living with us gave me a birthday card and present it said thanks for everything you do for me and everyone else, as well as being an aspiring role model through out this very different year,i nearly cried because that come from her heart,she believes in us and knows how much her sister has lied to try and destroy our family, we told her your a valuable part of our family and she cried. all we want is the other sister to go away and leave us alone she has her phone now, don’t come near us stop her lies so we can live in peace. It’s hard on us everyday. thank you everyone.

Hi Farmer and everyone 😊

I'm glad hearing better tomorrows supportive post was a help to you. Supports very powerful isn't it. You deserve as much help as possible.

I feel the time will come that she'll fall. She certainly makes it hard but that I hope can only last for so long.

Your lawyers going to do his best with her, I wouldn't be surprised if she's getting a bit nervous.

How beautiful your precious time with her sister she really sounds lovely.

Stay strong Farmer you're doing incredibly well holding through this horrible rot.

Best to your wife family and of course you ☺


Hi sorry for taking so long to reply, I have been working long hours mostly 7am until around 11pm , I have been so stressed it’s hard to concentrate on my cleaning job at the hospital, and do farm work, it makes me sad a then 16 year old can just about destroy a whole family with lies and get away with it once she has destroyed us she will move on to another family and do the same, and legal aid just keep funding it. When you have someone with 11 intervention orders jumping up and down clapping there hands excited about it something is wrong mentally, but the law protects these type of people I just have to keep going it’s getting harder and harder my wife has been back in hospital with her foot her leg went red with cellulitis she was in 2 days hopefully it gets better I have court next week so will see what happens the dark thoughts are trying so hard to take over, it’s making me confused bye for now.

Hi there Farmer and everyone ☺

Good to hear from you and thank you keeping us up to date it's good knowing how you're going.

You poor man doing such incredibly long hrs working. Good on you that takes a lot of stamina

And your poor wife's having such a rough time too. I hope that gets sorted soon. Quite painful I've heard. Please send her my best wishes for a good recovery.

You must be incredibly tired Farmer which added to a highly stressful situation would no doubt be creating more pain and frustration.

Matey I really do understand how the thoughts bombard it's terribly hard to not give in. I'm sorry you're going through so much pain. If you can keep thinking about the farm and your loving family and know your determination will see you through Farmer. The main thing is not to give the bad thoughts any power. As soon as they come immediately dismiss them as not an option then tell yourself why you want to stay. We want you to as well good man ☺

One day at a time matey. You really are holding up incredibly well.

Sending thoughts and support to you and your lovely family. Loves very powerful it helps us to get through.

Wishing you the best outcome for court too.


Thank you very much, the dark thoughts are so powerful it’s like the devil taking over your mind and telling you to destroy yourself, you then try and fight it off which seems to get harder and harder when your mentally worn out I have never had this happen before I can now understand how people leave this earth the dark thoughts just take over and win telling you there is no turning back it’s horrible why can’t people see that it’s all a game to her and put a stop to it, I am actually getting mentally worn out thinking where did we go wrong and in the end we should never of taken up foster caring but then the organisation should of told us what happens and the bad side of foster caring but it’s never told.I need to stay strong I have too my eldest daughter is having a baby in January she is a Div1 nurse she has had an intervention order against her for the last22 months from the same person because her phone was taken so she felt threatened by my daughter the courts seem to hand them out like candy surely they would have to red flag a 16 year old with 11 intervention orders, obviously not. thanks everyone

Hey Farmer680,

We're so sorry to hear that you've been experiencing such dark thoughts, and can hear how mentally draining all of this must be for you. You've shown so much strength in reaching out here to your friends on the forums, and please know that our supportive community are always here to help you through this really difficult time. We also think it might really help to talk through these thoughts and feelings with a kind and understanding counsellor at our Support Service (1300 22 4636) as well as our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) and Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) who are all here for you 24/7, as often as you need during overwhelming times like these. You never have to go through this alone.

We hope that you can find some comfort in the kind words and support from our community, and we hope you continue to keep us updated on how you're going, whenever you feel ready. 

Hey there Farmer ☺

You know people say I can't imagine how it would feel being in your position.
I can imagine the hurt frustration and injustice but it'd be nothing to what you're feeling especially when all you're about helping people and giving them a better good life.
You have and are achieving this good man.

She's sadly one that's got serious problems and clearly needs intensive help which I dearly hope will result from this nightmare.

You've helped many people. I think you did the right thing fostering kids.
Just so awful what's happening.

Our lovely Sophie here has suggested good people that can help you with how you're feeling Farmer.
You know you always have here. We're close by and listening.
They're trained and might know of people that can help more.

What's so hard for you I feel apart from the obvious is the extreme lack of sleep and the fact that it's dragging on so long. Both these and your situation are bound to create deep depression. It's cruel what she's doing. So malicious.

I imagine it feels that nothings happening but thank goodness the lawyers sticking with you.
The first court is soon.
There's positive & forward movement.

Very difficult not just to throw in the towel matey I really do get it but remember friend if you do she wins and she's one that needs to be stopped.
I hold high hope that your lawyers going to with your help stop her.

Always wanting the best outcome for you and your family ⚘

Keep going Mr you've come way too far to give in. Believe you are strong enough to hold on because you are!

See you when you're up to it ☺ So glad you're talking here.


Community Member
To be honest it was hard to reach out to this forum because I thought people would think I was loony, but with out this forum I can honestly say I wouldn’t be here I would of left this earth. She knows exactly 100% what she is doing to us and she will be laughing her head off, I will let you know how it goes tomorrow Tuesday court day. Thank you