Help needed

[Farmer680]

Hi it’s a long story so I will keep it short as possible I am a farmer and also work in a hospital as a cleaner I have worked hard 7 days a week for 35 years, we opened our farm up to foster children so we. could teach them farm life something they would never experience ,we done it for ten years had two in permanent care one is still with us one 16 year old girl done a runner and took off and has made up false allegations against me no charges have been laid yet I went to court 2 months a go I now have to go back in four days I I am so scared can’t sleep properly sever anxiety I have never done a single thing wrong in my life have thought about suicide nearly every day I have even googled the fastest way to die,two people I worked with both committed suicide 4 years a go. I love my family and the foster child that Is still staying with us knows her twin sister is lying, I am so scared I will go to jail for something I didn’t do so suicide really is the only way out for me, who is going to believe a 57 year old man what do I do the stress is so bad it’s effecting my work.

[Farmer680]

Hi Zgrandy when I found out about my friends I couldn’t believe what they had done,when I spoke to them last they were happy talking normal ect Then they go and do that,deep down they thought there is no return so they went through with it. why do the people who do the right thing in life are the worst off, I do a lot for people I cut grass hay and give to people who are struggling to feed there Animals, I always help other people fix there cars service them for free if they buy the parts, when we had the foster children we taught them farm life how to look after sheep lambs chooks ducks geese ect, I even taught the two 16 year old twins how two change a car tyre in case when they were old enough to drive and got a flat tyre they can change it so there not stuck in the dark on there own, my wife taught them how to cook make soups pasties and cakes, then one took off never appreciated what we done gave her a life and taught her life skills. now she is trying to ruin us over a mobile phone that was taken off her she was addicted.

[Birdy77]

Hey Farmer,

You have proved to yourself that youu don't want to go down that dark path by reaching out here for some support.

That shows much courage and strength and it shows hope.

I am glad yiu had the email from the lawyer. I understand you still feel nervous, of course. But if you can try possibly ti take it one step at a time. You have a fee days to wait until the lawyer contacts you, so i wonder, can you try your very best to not cast ahead into that unknown future ... and try to stay right here, in this present moment?

It's so hard to do ... but now is what you do have. Now, with your wife and family ...

Deal with tomorrow tomorrow, and deal with Sunday on Sunday, and deal with Monday on Monday ...

Step by step, you can find your way through this.

Keep being the person you are, helping others with their hay, teaching ithers terrific life skills, being your best self, and hold your head high.

Stay strong,

birdy

[Ggrand]

Dear Farmer,

I have often asked myself that same question...“Why do people that do the right thing in life are the worse off”..I wish I could answer it for you...Then maybe my life would make some sense to me...

Todays teenager’s phones are their best friends I think..They do everything on them and are lost without them...I think it’s a type of security for them....Rules are rules Farmer and if you let one get away with it..then the others would probably protest about not having theirs..

It really sounds wonderful what you and your wife done for your foster children...I feel really sad this girl has done this to you...I think that if this girl was believed in the story she told..her twin sister would have been immediately removed from your care...as soon as she made a statement..

I really so much hope that you will reach out for help if thoughts get to much for you to manage...I have rang suicide callback...and BB 24/7 life lines...when things got bad for me..they helped me a lot..

Farmer...There is always a way to move forward..I am pleased to hear that you’re feeling a bit better...Please if you stress out too much or get into a panic attack...Hold your wife’s hand and both of you try hard to do some deep slow breathing together..Counting between breathes..it can relax you both from your anxiety..

Still sitting with you dear Farmer..here for you ..

kind thoughts and caring wishes..

Grandy....

[Farmer680]

Hi she was removed by child protection but she got her own legal aid because she was crying to come back home to the farm so the judge said she can go back home, she said none of it’s true what her sister is saying. I really appreciate everyone supporting me through this tough time I thought there was no one who cared except for my family thank you very much

[Ggrand]

Dear Farmer, you are very welcome...The judge who let your foster daughter home I think wouldn’t have done so if the judge thought she wasn’t safe....Also I was thinking you wouldn’t be allowed to work in the hospital either..these are just my thoughts dear Farmer...I am hoping I am thinking properly..I am pleased that she said her twin was lying...She sounds like an honest and caring young lady..and wants to help you so much...

My care to you dear Farmer....with kindness..

We all care for each other here the best we can..

Grandy..

[monkey_magic]

Hi Farmer680,

I read your story and felt really sad and angry that you are faced with a situation you feel you have no control over other than to end it.

Are there any other people this girl has lied about? Others that she has taken this intervention out on? You said 9 other foster homes? Can you all get together and prove she's a lier? Her twin sister fighting to come back to you is a really good sign. Is she able to testify?

When you feel you have no options left is when u lose hope and can want to leave the earth. Perhaps there still are options to prove your innocence!

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Farmer...

Just wanted to check in and see how your doing..

Care and kindness always..

Grandy..

[Farmer680]

Hi she has 9 intervention orders against other people who she has stayed with because her lawyer doesn’t cost anything Legal aid so she keeps playing these games, this was all over us taking the mobile phone of her she had hidden from us,so she wanted revenge she was addicted to it, now she is trying to destroy us, after we seen what was on the phone we gave it straight to the police why doesn’t she just leave us alone and go away she is 16 and evil, i am from the old school. You do something wrong own up take your punishment, but I have done nothing wrong but give her a happy life treated them like our own children and this is the thanks we get.

[Farmer680]

Hi I wish there were more people like you in this world, I am feeling ok but the dark thoughts are trying to creep back in it’s hard trying to fight it hopefully I am winning. I appreciate everyone’s help.

[demonblaster]

Dear Farmer ☺

What an incredibly sad story.
I really am very sorry hearing what you're all going through.

One piece of hopefully comfort apart from what the other caring people here have said is sadly I imagine the courts see too often people falsely accusing people of crimes they haven't done so they're not necessarily going to automatically believe the girl without solid proof.

Monkey_Magic touched on her being in 9 foster homes.
I'm curious whether it's or some of the time her behaviour causing so many moves.

I wonder or possibly your lawyer might have covered this or will to get as many character references as possible.

You do sound like a very good man and I'm sure the twin sister will help you as much as po.

I really feel for you Farmer 🌿
It saddens me more knowing that you feel the only way is to end your life.

It really feels that way doesn't it that there's no way to feel any better and that situations won't change.

It's not how it is matey. With time comes change.
Already you have some reprieve with no court for now.

And until you proactively contacted here you were unaware that there's tremendous support out there including professional help in the form of ringing here psychologists etc.
You're not alone now you also have us behind you.

Many on these forums understand for different reasons how deep depression goes myself included.
They also know true happiness and are glad to not have made the choice.

Good kind people we need in this world and they like you have a right to live.
You clearly love your family which I'm sure is reciprocated. They're sticking by you.

Dear man one of your main reasons is you think your family would be better off without you.
No matey 🙂 they wouldn't because they love you.
Their lives would be marred permanently with more pain losing you especially when they believe in your innocence.

The best thing you can do Farmer for yourself and family is use this terrible pains energy to rise above this.

Wishing the very best and strength from your support to believe in yourself hold onto hope. Wishing for you that the truth will emerge 🍃

Hope to see you again anytime ☺