Hating my life

[Trina_M]

I’m new to BB. I just hate everything. I’m depressed still and have no friends and no SO and can’t even get a date (been using online dating for two years and virtually nothing came out of it except one relationship which lasted only two months as he had anger issues.

I just want to meet a guy who is the rigs kind of man for me and be a Mum. The idea of not achieving these things makes me feel like I’ll not want to go on once that time comes. I am now 40 years old.

I’m having a lot of suicidal ideation over this, but also over other things like having depression, several anxiety disorders, Complex PTSD, being socially Isolated and having no friends and feeling apathetic most of the time.

I also have Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (PMDD) symptoms at the moment which makes everything worse.

I don’t really see the point in living. I just can’t find meaning in my life. Oh, I’m new to BB. Can anyone relate a lot to my post?

Thanks in advance, and best of luck to everyone on these forums.

Trina

[Sophie_M]

Hey TrinaM, 
Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums, it's great to have you join us here and we're really glad you've had the strength to share your story with us today. We know it can be fairly daunting to post for the first time. 

We're sorry to hear you feel depressed and are having thoughts of suicide. It sounds as though you're in a dark place at the moment. Can we ask if you are currently receiving mental health support? If not, we would urge that you do seek professional support to help you work through these thoughts that you're experiencing. If you are not sure of how to access mental health support, please contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

If you don't have many friends where you are at the moment, we'd suggest joining some local support groups. You can find information on what support groups are available on the Black Dog Institute site here - https://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/resources-support/support-groups/

Please remember to reach out when you're feeling overwhelmed and need to talk it through. You're never alone. In your most overwhelming moments, you can get in touch with our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467).

We hope that you keep checking in to let us know how you're going, whenever you feel up to it.
 

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear Trina,

A very warm and caring welcome to the forums...

I am sorry you are hating life and feel the way you do...

I haven’t even looked at the dating sites on the Internet...and wouldn’t know much about them and how one would go in meeting someone else on the site...

I am wondering if maybe going to a group that has the same interest as you have..would be a good idea..

There are so many social groups around these days and Maybe finding one with yours interests might be a way to meet people and form friendships...Reading groups, craft groups, gardening groups..going to a gym or joining a walking group, playing darts, if you have a dog, then a doggie park...I mention groups because they will be like minded people and you all enjoy the same things...

Trina, maybe you could make an appointment with your GP and talk over your suicidal thoughts with them...they can get you a mental health care plan started..to help with those unhealthy thoughts you’re having...Is reaching out to your GP something that you will consider....It’s really important to look after yourself lovely Trina...

Do you have any hobbies that you could use, when unhealthy thoughts start to take over?..

Mental health illnesses, do make us feel at times that their is no point to go on...you’re not alone with those thoughts...many people have them....I know I do from time to time....but that’s so not true....We are not our depression and we don’t have to listen or act on to those thoughts it tells us...

Talk here dear Trina, anytime you feel up to to it...Also Sophie has given you some great support service contacts...Please do hesitate to use those services if you to. I have used them at times I’ve been overwhelmed with life...and they really did help me...

My kindest thoughts with my care..

Grandy..

[Petal22]

Hi Trina M,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im so sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand the dating sites can be difficult………

Your Mr Right is out there! And you will meet him just don’t loose hope.

Stay positive………… have you tried joining a sports group or speed dating?

Im sorry you are having suicidal thoughts I understand these are quite distressing, please make an appointment with your gp and discuss how you are feeling.

Sending you kindness