Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

penguin7676 my suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 4

Hi. I have anxiety and depression. I have many days where I feel empty. I think about dying. I always consider it a solution. I have many thoughts I would hate my parents to know about. I try to come up with a plan to kill myself. I've never told any... View more

Hi. I have anxiety and depression. I have many days where I feel empty. I think about dying. I always consider it a solution. I have many thoughts I would hate my parents to know about. I try to come up with a plan to kill myself. I've never told anyone. I lied to my GP when they asked if I ever had suicidal thoughts. I hate myself. But I know I can't kill myself. I have a nine year old sister. I need to be there on her first day of high school, her graduation day, her wedding day (if she wants to get married). My Mum needs me. Shes my best friend. My Dad needs me, even if he doesn't show it. I may not want to live. But there are people that still need me. When it gets really bad, I make sure I'm not alone. I'll have a snack even if I'm not hungry, and I will watch a easy movie with whoever is in the living room. (one that will entertain me but not talk about death) I guess I just kinda want some advice. Feel free to talk about your own experiences with suicidal thoughts in this thread.

jumpyjellyfish- Feeling worthless and losing control
  • replies: 226

Just saying a quick hello before I go on, I'm new to these forums hoping to become a part of this community. Basically I've felt myself really struggling with the effects of low self-esteem lately on me and feeling really worthless. I've always had f... View more

Just saying a quick hello before I go on, I'm new to these forums hoping to become a part of this community. Basically I've felt myself really struggling with the effects of low self-esteem lately on me and feeling really worthless. I've always had fairly low self-esteem in relation to my image since I was really young but I used to at least be happy about my abilities and was overall fairly positive. This year however - and especially the past couple of months - I've habitually been excessively judgemental of myself and been practicing some unhealthy coping mechanisms. I've been constantly picking out all my flaws like saying to myself I'm ugly and that I'm no good at the sports I play and that no one prioritises their friendships with me because they don't care about me (because honestly that's what has been happening recently). Over the past couple of months I've been at a constant all time low where I don't seem to feel happy much and I'm constantly distracted by the fact that I feel terrible. It feels like I'm out of control and I hate the feeling, but I've discovered to regain control I distort my eating patterns to starve myself in the mornings up until after school where I can't handle it and I end up bingeing. It sickens me every day that I can't control myself in that way but I know I've gotten into a brutal cycle and it feels like it will only stop when I learn to have control over my eating, only to starve myself all day. I also started self harming about a month ago, but I stopped that about a week ago and even though its been tempting I'm so far resisting the urge. I've been regularly in contact with a counsellor from kids helpline over the past month and a half and its been helpful but I'm still struggling to find the worth in being resilient when I can't even find it in myself. I feel really down all the time and I'm tempted to just follow my emotionally unstable thoughts and not try to fix stuff because I'm on my own anyway (well that's what it feels like) but I'm at a dilemma in my head between giving up and me 'logically' knowing that I need to fix something. That being said, the fact that I understand that makes me seem like I've got myself sorted even though I don't and it puts me off seeking help further (in person). I want help but I feel like my problems aren't big enough and I'm scared of being judged even though I know it will be to the contrary but I really struggle to accept it when people actually say that I am deserving.

Katndog Wanting to not feel alone
  • replies: 10

Basically the title sums it up. I’m in such disbelief what I go through every day (most days) with chronic suicidality and I can’t fathom that other people in the world out there are going through the same thing. are they? It feels so lonely that I f... View more

Basically the title sums it up. I’m in such disbelief what I go through every day (most days) with chronic suicidality and I can’t fathom that other people in the world out there are going through the same thing. are they? It feels so lonely that I find myself calling Lifeline just to tell somebody, because you can only really tell your friends sometimes. It’s not much of a conversation when every day you speak to them and you don’t want to be here. I’m wondering how others cope with the loneliness? It is truly one of the most painful things I’ve ever experienced in my life. I think because of not being able to speak openly about it with friends and family or in the public. It’s like I’m holding a secret in my head and it same time I’m trying to make good choices every day to keep myself here. At least if you’re illness is visible people know that you’re trying and suffering. There’s no way for people to know how much energy I put in to making good choices, to keeping alive, just staying safe.

Anna___ Avoiding SH
  • replies: 3

It’s been years since i’ve injured myself on purpose, apart from the odd pinch or scratch here and there. It feels like my mental health is sliding out of control and there’s no way for me to stop it. A part of me wants to start cutting again so I ha... View more

It’s been years since i’ve injured myself on purpose, apart from the odd pinch or scratch here and there. It feels like my mental health is sliding out of control and there’s no way for me to stop it. A part of me wants to start cutting again so I have something to focus on. The rational side of me knows it’s not a good idea. it’s like there’s another person inside of me trying to convince me to cut again. i feel like it’s inevitable and i’m not going to be able to stop it.

Roarke Suicidal thoughts
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have been down the awful, confusing, distressing, road that you are on. What I found helpful was (and this sounds ridiculous) was listening to music and dancing to it. It, for a while took away my thoughts of hurting myself. I also recorded spe... View more

Hi, I have been down the awful, confusing, distressing, road that you are on. What I found helpful was (and this sounds ridiculous) was listening to music and dancing to it. It, for a while took away my thoughts of hurting myself. I also recorded speaking to myself that I was strong, I would make it out of awful situation. I replayed when feeling so low and it did help somewhat. You are not alone in this struggle. Love yourself, and forgive yourself. My psychiatrist told me that when I was in a depressive mood I was not myself, someone else. Keep strong my friend.

WantOut Out of Ideas
  • replies: 5

I'm seeing my fifth or sixth shrink, and have just stopped seeing a psychologist because yet again we've reached a point where they've said they don't think they're the right person to help. I've tried every class of meds and the one which used to wo... View more

I'm seeing my fifth or sixth shrink, and have just stopped seeing a psychologist because yet again we've reached a point where they've said they don't think they're the right person to help. I've tried every class of meds and the one which used to work great has now stopped, and my shrink doesn't seem to be taking my concerns seriously. I've done all the lifestyle changes people inevitably recommend. Nothing helps. I'm out of ideas and I don't know what to do. The best anyone has suggested is to start yet again with yet another psych/shrink, which would involve yet more waiting and doing all the same stuff I've done until they say that maybe I should try a different psych/shrink, and I don't have the energy to keep going around and around and around with this stuff. I'm so tired of this, I have children it would hurt but we're getting to the point where I can't put up with this indefinitely. I need a quick fix because I don't have the strength or patience to faff about with the same drugs which haven't worked or be told yet again to download a mindfulness app. It's been decades of this and I'm almost done.

Rockpaperscissors Scary decision
  • replies: 10

I've been extremely stressed/depressed at work and home for a while now and haven't been coping much at all. Lately the smallest thing can set me off into a rage. This morning I was at the point of a split decision, the decision I chose means I'm sti... View more

I've been extremely stressed/depressed at work and home for a while now and haven't been coping much at all. Lately the smallest thing can set me off into a rage. This morning I was at the point of a split decision, the decision I chose means I'm still here but I've never been there before and it could have just as easily gone the other way. I'm worried about having to make that choice again and if I'll make the right one. Does anyone here have any advice?

Oldbar fisho suicidal sick of living in pain
  • replies: 2

all my life has been pain the first 16 years dealing with an asshole father and non caring mother. then the m/v accident 1997.since then physical pain. nov and dec 2020 i had the last of my 7 spinal surgeries only to be left in more back pain than ev... View more

all my life has been pain the first 16 years dealing with an asshole father and non caring mother. then the m/v accident 1997.since then physical pain. nov and dec 2020 i had the last of my 7 spinal surgeries only to be left in more back pain than ever before and now the added neuropathic pain in my leg is excruciating. ive been to pain specialists that dish out medications that your body just gets used to and stops working,ive had every test known only to go back to an old neurosurgeon that id trust with my life only to be told the only hope is a spinal cord stimulator. over 10 hours of trying to talk to medicare and still havent spoken to anyone,ive been to the office and they say call the number.These gov agencies are a joke. my health insurance only will pay a certain amount depending on which stimulator and as a best case scenario ill be out of pocket $10,000 not bad for a person who cant work and has sold everything to try and keep of the streets and stay on meds. and the final kicker is it has a success rate of 30 % im just done with this whole system im done with the pain why cant we just dye with dignity why do we have to be on the street living in pain and poverty .

Forrest_123 I don’t know if what I am feeling is normal or if I am overreacting
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am constantly thinking about death. I think what if.. all the time. I've imagined ways that I can die. I don’t know if everyone feels like this or if it is just me overreacting. I also don’t like talking to people. And if I do have to talk to s... View more

Hi, I am constantly thinking about death. I think what if.. all the time. I've imagined ways that I can die. I don’t know if everyone feels like this or if it is just me overreacting. I also don’t like talking to people. And if I do have to talk to someone I would rather have it done all at once in a phych ward or something so that I don’t have to deal with explaining everything to my family. I think I’m just meant to keep surviving until it gets to such a bad point that I call the police on myself? I don’t know anymore... when should I call the emergency services? I heard that the hospital only has a few beds for teenagers, what if they don’t have room for me and I have to leave and then explain everything to my family? What if I get traumatised from being there? What if I am actually fine and just overreacting? someone please explain to me what I’m feeling and what I am meant to do. also I’m not thinking of taking action immediately, I just need to know what will happen and what I’m meant to do.