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Feeling suicidal off and on

ktac1689
Community Member

Hi,

It has been a little while since I have been here. I am generally one step forward two steps back. I am working again and had not disclosed the events of last year or my suicide attempts with anyone there as I do not want them treating me like a freak. I love my job and I think it is one of the few things really keeping me here.

I have a good GP and have had to wait for another psych appointment due to working full time. I have not been feeling well and sleeping a lot of the time when not at work. I have been feeling so irritable a lot of the time too and lost a friend recently because of it.

I still don’t want to be here. I start every week thinking I will end things on the weekend but when the weekend comes I manage to change my plans. This has happened for weeks. I haven’t told anyone about this as I don’t want people to think I am attention seeking or whatever. I do not ever want to go back into hospital either. Is anyone else feeling this way?

20 Replies 20

Sorry Smallwolf I accidentally posted before I was ready. I feel very uncomfortable opening up to people even those I am close to. I think it is a little easier here because it is online.

I have been feeling really down the last few weeks. My son moved interstate and, while I am excited for him and his new life, I feel almost like a death has occurred. I can talk to him and text him but life as I knew it has again ceased. I have already gone through this with my daughter a year ago when she moved states to live with her partner but this is worse. I feel like I am losing the people I most care about over and over even though I am happy for them.

I think the ongoing covid situation and rain etc (insurance not even started my claim yet for flood related damage) now my son going has fired up my depression again. Big time. I feel like there is no point carrying on with anything right now.

How are you going? I hope you are well and traveling ok. I know the show you were talking about, it was indeed relevant.