The nights are the worst.

[Pandemica]

I find that the hardest time of all are the evenings. I live alone and the house is so quiet. I lay awake each night, not being able to sleep and the darkness outside my bedroom window matches the darkness inside of me.

Its at these times that the sadness feels so powerful and overwhelming. I can feel it sitting inside of my stomach like a heavy rock. I have lived a majority of my life like this and can't see any way to stop feeling like this.

What are some strategies that people might use when both your thoughts and feelings are at their darkest.

[Centaured]

That hits home, I can relate.

I try to distract myself until I can't stay awake any longer. Like one thing I do is playing on my computer or phone until my eyes start collapsing. Other stuff I do is browse Reddit or insta or other websites as a distraction. BB forums can help too or talking with someone like lifeline so you don't feel alone with that heaviness.

Hope that helps. Just know you aren't alone. We'll find the stars out there.

[Pandemica]

Thanks Centaurs,

I am doing exactly that at the moment. Reading articles on BB Website, playing games on my phone etc. Its just a bloody horrible feeling.

If I thought that I could leave this world without hurting anyone else, then God, I would have ended it all a long time ago. I feel so trapped because as much as I desperately want to end it all right now, I just can't because I feel so guilty about hurting others in my life. That puts me between a rock and a hard place. Can't end it all, but can't keep going like this either. There has got to be another option.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Pandemica,

We’re sorry to hear you are still feeling this way. If you need someone to talk to we have our counsellors on our Support Service available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

As Centaured has mentioned, our friends at Lifeline are wonderful and worth contacting on 13 11 14 as they are available to provide support and advice 24/7. Please do feel free to use these services to talk through what's on your mind when it's feeling like too much to cope with.

We hope that you keep checking back in and let us know how you are going when you feel up to it. We're all here for you.
 

[Centaured]

It is such a hard place to be in. I hear the pain as you write. Just getting through tonight sounds tough, but there is support to you through it.

If possible can you just switch everything off, go to bed, and know that tomorrow will be different. It might not be better, it might be similarly bad, but there is hope with the sunrise that it's a fresh start and anything is possible.

It sounds pretty cliche. But sleep is very important in managing moods and just knowing the pain will temporary end can be that spark of hope too.

[Pandemica]

Thanks Centaured,

It really is a tough night. I have been trying not to rely on sleeping pills but I have just given up and taken something to help me sleep.

I don't believe for a second that tomorrow will be a good day but I at least hope it may be a little better than today was.

Hope you get some sleep soon also.

[Pandemica]

Thankyou Sophie

[Centaured]

I hope you managed to get some sleep.

[Pandemica]

Thanks Centaured,

yeah eventually I got a bit. Think I finally got to sleep about 0430. Will try and get a bit more sleep as I need to be at work later this afternoon.

[Centaured]

Even if today won't be better, I hope it is pleasant enough that you get some rest and your shift goes ok.