A very warm welcome to you at a time in your life that feels so overwhelming and debilitating.
Life is definitely very different when experienced through pure exhaustion. When it takes a certain amount of energy to be able to feel a whole range of emotions, when the energy's not there it can be like 'Where the heck have all my emotions gone, besides stress?'. If 'alive' is the feeling of plenty of energy running through us, in a state of pure exhaustion it can kinda leave us feeling like a zombie, with little thought and feeling. It's horrible and it can definitely become depressing. Also, with next to no energy to combat stress with, just about everything can feel stressful or anxiety inducing.
I'm wondering whether you've considered what kind of chemical energy could perhaps be depleted to some degree. A visit to the GP could see the usual suspects called into question, such as B12 levels, thyroid levels etc. Ruling these types of energies in and then out with some blood tests, could have you tick them off the list when it comes to getting to the bottom of what's led you to this state of pure exhaustion. If your GP's left scratching their head, they may refer you to the next detective who will look for clues. Whether that detective is a psychologist who might detect a number of life factors that have led up to this state you're facing or the next detective may specialise in some other area, it definitely pays to keep wondering and finding people who'll wonder with you (toward finding answers).
As a 55yo gal, I've become a bit of a 'collector' over the years. If you can imagine being given a key ring at birth and the advice 'One of your goals throughout life is to become a collector of constructive mind altering revelations, skills, abilities and more. The more key ideas/beliefs, skills, abilities etc you add to the ring, the more doors these keys will unlock'. Unfortunately we typically don't start life with such advice. I've discovered one absolutely brilliant key is the ability to feel. While I used to think 'I hate this feeling. What's wrong with me?', these days it's more so 'Okay, what the heck am I feeling going on?'. You're feeling something. The question is 'What?'. Through my own experience, when it comes to solving the 'debilitating low energy' mystery, I always go for blood tests first and then move on from there.
