Hi Deputy-coroner,
It’s great you called the helpline. I think if you tell them you’re not a 000 case they won’t normally overreact to that but will just work with you to help you feel more stabilised and grounded. I have called the Suicide Callback Service 3 times recently and each time I found them to be excellent. They helped me deactivate the level of distress I was in and feel resourced within myself to cope.
Good on you for reaching out for support. That in itself takes courage. I can hear the struggle you are going through with the thoughts you are having. If it’s any encouragement, I was very bad for a while but coming out of it now. Please feel free to post here anytime. Just reach out wherever and whenever it feels right when you need to.
I have found going gently helps, which has included practising kindness towards myself, resting when I need to and taking myself out into nature which is a really healing thing for me. During one strong episode of suicidal ideation I went to a favourite place at a rocky hill by the ocean and just stayed there for a few hours during which the activation in my nervous system gradually calmed to a lower level. I feel held in nature and it’s the safest place for me.
Other things may work for you but I just thought I’d mention that in case it helps. The Beyond Now app that BB have may also be a helpful resource. It’s easier to fill out the info in it when you are feeling a bit better, but basically it’s a way of identifying resources you can use if you become overwhelmed.
Your GP sounds helpful and supportive and I’m glad you have her to talk to. I’d say she is right - you are meant to stay with us.
I hope you are doing ok now and sending you healing thoughts and support. Take good care,
Eagle Ray
