Anxiety and medication

1SAD1 · ‎19-05-2022

Hi everyone,

Since being put on an anxiety medication 4 years ago for depression, I have developed severe anxiety, I never suffered from anxiety before this and was able to cope with my depression by wearing what I describe as a mask, I had a stable job that i excelled at and had a wide network of friends. While being on this medication I have resigned from my job of 14 years and left my marriage and have no friends left, I self isolate at home with my dogs and only leave when I absolutely have to, even then I take the path of least resistance, I now suffer from insomnia with never ending ruminating thoughts, in all honesty I'm exhausted and so lonely. My home is a safe haven where I don’t have to fake anything, but it is a catch 22, the more I isolate the more I feel disconnected from the world, even putting the rubbish bin out terrifies me in case a neighbour sees me and what’s to have a chat so I put the bin out at 9pm well after my neighbours have. I was never this person that I am today I loved life and spoke to everyone and anything, to people who knew me back before taking medication would say that I was always full of life and always smiling and made people laugh and probably my energy was a bit overwhelming for people that didn’t know me. But now I just sit at home cocooned in a protective shell from the outside world feeling like anxiety is who I am and it is what I deserve. In all selfish when Covid hit I wasn’t concerned as self isolation is what I’m used to and thought to myself this is what I deal with everyday and in a way I was happy that other people had to do what I deal with everyday, selfish isn’t it. I have tried to speak to my psychiatrist about changing my meds but he is so dismissive and thinks it’s just me, I have tried slowly tapering of this medication and then developed suicidal thoughts, in all honesty I’m at the end of my tether, I have no friends no support and a psychiatrist that thinks he knows best, has anyone else experienced severe side effects from taking anxiety medication? If you have my heart goes out to you.

Sophie_M · ‎19-05-2022

Hi 1SAD1,

Thank you so much for your post to the forums today. We can hear that you are managing a lot at the moment feeling the effects of feeling isolated while living with severe anxiety. We are really sorry to hear that this is your experience right now.

We are concerned that you may be having thoughts of self harm or suicide. If you ever feel unsafe it is important to call 000 straight away. You can also call LifeLine 13 11 14 in a crisis.

We also think it may be useful to talk to one of our team on 1300 22 4636 or via our webchat. Our counsellors are here for you 24/7 and can help you if you feel like you need a chat.

We can only imagine the courage it took to write this post today and we want to thank you for sharing your story. You never know who will read this and feel less alone on their own journey.

Kind regards,

Sophie M

Petal22 · ‎19-05-2022

Hi 1SAD1,

I'm sorry you are feeling this way I understand it would be really hard.

Can I ask if you have had any type of therapy recommended to you for the anxiety you are feeling?

Im sorry for what your phyciatrist said to you.

Anxiety is something that does happen but it doesn't feel sever for some people and stop them from doing things they want to do in their life.

I understand what sever anxiety feels like I had sever anxiety OCD Ive now recovered thanks to medication and therapy I had......I believe therapy and medication can go hand in hand.

With my medication initially I had side effects but they subsided and from the therapy I did I learned to manage my condition.

Anxiety isn't who you are at all and you don't have to be held to it's ongoing relentless stipulations you CAN learn how to break free of anxiety and start living your life with the correct help.

Would you consider a different health professional?

Hang in there we are here to support you

1SAD1 · ‎19-05-2022

That you for reply and concern about the situation I am in, but I feel that no one understands the reality of how much anxiety can impact your life, from being employed or something as simply as having family or friends understerstand or emphasise how anxiety destroys not only your life and relationships but also destroys yours self esteem, i honestly don’t know what to do, I am currently under the care of a psychologist but I find that after years of help doing CBT and DBT that I have no where to turn, and the only reason I don’t give up is my 28 year son, no matter how much I hate waking up everyday with the same thoughts the same unhappiness, I can’t hurt him or burden him with his mother choose to give up, is it selfish am I weak are I meant to live everyday as it’s Groundhog Day. I can’t continue like this

1SAD1 · ‎19-05-2022

Thank you for replying as I feel my anxiety and depression has taken over my life, I don’t know any other way to life. I see a psychologist once a week but even then because I feel safe in his presence I don’t cry I listen to what his says yet when I leave I turn to alcohol to numb my pain, I never used to drink until my support dog of 15 years passed away on the 10/01/2022 since then I have started drinking, do I know this is bad from me, yes I do but I can’t cope, my dog Gucci meant the world to me, he was my best friend, my everything and I don’t know or remember what life was like before Gucci and I don’t know how to be here without him.

Petal22 · ‎19-05-2022

Hi 1SAD1,

I really do understand the impacts that anxiety can have on our life. I understand it’s tough to be up against it…

When I was in the grips of severe anxiety OCD my whole world came crashing down the horrible distressing intrusive thoughts repeated over and over again they where relentless…… I was constantly on edge and having daily panic attacks it was the toughest thing I have ever been through in my whole life.

My condition felt like a marathon…. But it’s a marathon I won… and so can you..,

I would never allow my anxiety to get in between myself and my family… it tried but I made a decision that no matter how bad I was feeling and no matter how bad it was shouting at me I wasn’t going to surrender to it.

My intrusive thoughts where sometimes about my family members the ones I loved… my anxiety tried to make me avoid my family incase of what if s a but I pushed it back and defied it I’d deliberately get closer to my family and hug them….. there was no way I was going to allow my anxiety to get in between myself and my family…

Anxiety will try to make you avoid certain things but you have to stand strong and defy it! You can …. You are so much stronger than it…..

When your anxiety tries to make you stay inside… go outside….. defy it…..

One thing I learned about anxiety is the more we do what are anxiety is telling us to do the more we reinforce it.

I understand you don’t know what to do……. As of tomorrow make a decision that you aren’t going to allow your anxiety to boss you around anymore… start living your life………. Push it back and keep pushing forward we all have a inner warrior you need to allow yours to shine through.. 💪

geoff · ‎20-05-2022

Hello 1SAD1, it's unfortunate that you have to struggle like this, to leave work and become someone who only feels comfortable staying at home s well as having a psychiatrist who doesn't understand but I can't tell you what to do, but I can suggest alternative options.

If you could google this 'how to help with anxiety', I know that it's a simple title to google which you may have already, but there are different sites to browse through.

If these people aren't helping you and have trouble understanding what you have told them, then find other people and start afresh.

The whole idea of seeking a psych is for them to know what's causing all of this, for you to speak and not for them to criticise you, because when this happens, you only close up.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

1SAD1 · ‎20-05-2022

Hi Sophie, thank you for your reply, yes I have rung lifeline about 3 weeks ago and could hardly talk, I just sobbed uncontrollably. When you are labelled by a psychiatrist with a disorder it’s like what they say is gospel and there is no point trying to discuss other options or treatment as they will change your diagnosis to bipolar or borderline personality disorder and even if your married to a narcissist and beg for help to have the courage to leave the psychiatrist will blame me and tell me I have abandonment issues, couldn’t be further from the truth, I worked up the courage to leave after 12 years yet I truly believe I have cptsd from being with him. I have tried seeking another psychiatrist yet all the ones I have contacted have closed their books to new patients. Even trying to get into seeing a psychologist has a wait time of at least 12 weeks. The psychologist that I have been seeing is a lovely guy yet after 6 sessions with him I am not learning anything new and in all honesty our sessions consist of talking about eBay, gumtree and just random things. Every psychologist, psychiatrist or therapist tells you nothing about their life but this psychologist does. He talks about his life more than I do about my own life but I can’t get in to see someone else so I just keep going to our appointments. I’m exhausted and confused and in all honesty I don’t know where I can get the help I need. I have no friends and no family other than my 28 year old son who is on the autism spectrum, so what do I do… there are days that I hope to get Covid or cancer so I have a easy way out. Thanks again for replying you have no idea how much it means to me ❤️

Chris_Tas · ‎26-05-2022

I'm no psychologist or psychiatrist.

I strongly suggest self help not heir text books they read to get a degree.

I'm highly qualified in Law, but again, that doesn't mean I could deal with my loss.

Talk to people who know and understand.

Just my opinion.

monkey_magic · ‎27-05-2022

Hi 1SAD1,

I also changed dramatically after being injected with antipsychotic drugs. I also have had bad experiences with psychiatrists and would never take what they say as gospel.

It's hard I know. I spend a lot of my life lounging around on the couch which is such a far cry from the person I used to be. I was such a go- getter, always at the gym and living life to the best of my ability. Unfortunately some professionals do more harm than good.

I'd suggest baby steps for you. If U want to get off your medication see someone that will help you to safely do this. Perhaps take up something of interest one day a week. A walk if U can manage that would be hugely beneficial. It sucks and it's hard but others have seen the other side of anxiety/ depression with a bit/ lot of effort. I really hope that is the case for you too. Perhaps a psychologist/ councillor can help come up with a manageable plan for your life.

I hope to hear back from you and hear your thoughts.