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Am i strong or weak

Jhammond
Community Member

What you know about suicide?

I am recently seperated and i have a beautiful terminally ill three year old. i'll probably out live my son.. well..

im always so sad life's so boring, i work for less than minimum wage in a very physical job, im paranoid as hell and i dont do drugs, mostly.

I just want more money, because contrary to the famous quote.. -it does buy happiness

Yea, i think thats all i need, money would probably actually be the cure for my depression and lack of care of my own life. funny.

Apparently these are my thoughts right now, huh

Ive got to be there for my son, i dont want him to lose me, or my dad to lose me either. im survivng for them.. they would have a clue, i always tell them how great my life is going. my friends think im a happy person. going through some shit, but honestly im pretty sure they're probably as depressed as me, we wouldnt talk about it though, we're tough men arent we?

i dont know why im writing this, what do you guys actually do here?

1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome

I've been here since 2013 when I was forced to retire die to my bipolar. I've been a community champion since 2014.

We as a community discuss all types of issues. Primarily focussed on anxiety depression and suicide prevention. We are not professional medical staff but peer advisers- give guidance from experience.

I haven't got your experience of patenting a terminally ill child. I'm a father of two grown up daughter's. I did have an I'll brother and he passed at 26yo.

I believe money brings happiness to those that don't have it. Once you get it, you have to seek out what can make you happy because although you are financial a passion not present will result in boredom.

Anyway, it's also hard to have a passion with a terminally ill child, besides even if you liked say tennis...that costs money.

Clearly you are not in a position to entertain anything but your child and maintain working. That leads to the boredom of which you speak. Therefore that leads only to one conclusion- maintaining your own mental health.

I suggest you talk to- your GP for your mental well being, a family counselor or centrelink in terms of the possibilities of changing your employment status (E.g. you might qualify for a disability pension based on your child's predicament, carers allowance etc and supplement such income by working part time) and the NDIS if you haven't done so.

Finally, in life I've found that there is twists and turns. Some good, some bad. Good will come, be patient and remain positive. Pat yourself on the back for looking after a child that depends on you so much. Well done.

TonyWK