A waste of space

[Hopelesslee]

Hello, my name is Lee-Ann

Thank you for allowing me to join your community and feel safe sharing my not so happy thoughts and feelings.
Ive been alone for 5 years now, no friends, extremely minimal family contact with one member and I feel like I’m the only one on the planet. I’m not sure how this site works yet but I hope someone can hear me.. I keep wondering if this would be a good year to stop the pain.

[white knight]

Hi, welcome

I've been here 9 years nearly, a community champion for 7.5 years or so. Of all the things you might be able to do to make friends the one thing that will help more than anything is to

• Buy a cute little pedigree dog
• Join a dog club for that breed
• Walk your dog

Sounds simple and it is. We have a mini fox terrier, the love of our life. The ease of which to make friends is amazing but not only that, their company is amazing. Teach them tricks, they'll cuddle up every night. In fact if you can with your accommodation- buy two, they'll play together.

It there more information you'd like to share with us?

TonyWK

[Sophie_M]

Hi Lee-Ann,

We're sorry to hear you've not been having much social contact. We can imagine that must be really difficult, especially after a long amount of time. We can hear you're not feeling sure about how you might move forward on the journey towards feeling better, but we want you to know that posting here can be a really important step. 

We are reaching out to you privately, but we'd encourage you to reach out to our counsellors directly on 1300 22 4636, or you can chat online here. If you're thinking about suicide, it's really important to reach out to a medical professional or support service.

Maybe you'd like to share a bit more about how you're feeling? Is there anything you can think of that has helped you get through, or made you feel better in the last few years?

Thank you for your bravery and openness in sharing here. We know that isn't easy, and we hope you can see what a powerful step that is to have taken. We are with you, and this community will be here for you with kindness and understanding for what you're feeling and going through.

Kind regards, 

Sophie M

[Croix]

Dear Lee-Anne~

I too would like to welcome you here, and think you might have had some pretty good advice already. Five years basically alone must have seemed an eternity, and I hope we can help you change matters.

The most important thin is to convince you about one solid fact, you are no waste of space. You are a human being, wiht strengths as well as weaknesses and capacities and capabilities you many not have dreamed of.

You can of course, as been said, post and talk here. There is a wide variety of sections and threads, ranging from the most serious though to comedy and fun.

Outside of this place there are other avenues. Perhaps you might have thought of them already. Basically looking at volunteering is always a good start. It may not be in least like you would imagine and very often you can combine voluntary activity with an interest you may already have.

There is citizen science, where you assist scientists by gathering or processing data. Museums where you can acquire or display a knowledge of art, or film or anything to do with history and the natural sciences. Of course there is working in a shop, like St Vinnies, or cooking in a shelter.

I've not touched the surface

It all depends.

Would you like to say the sorts of things you are interested in?

I hope to hear from you soon

Croix

[Petal22]

Hi Lee - Anne,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im sorry you have been alone and feel this way.

We are a very caring supportive community and we are here to listen to you.

Please tell us more when you are ready.

[quirkywords]

lee Ann
welcome to the forum>
sophie< tony croix< petal have all given you supportive suggestions>

feeling isolated in a world where everyone seems connected is hard>
we are listening to your words and you are not alone>

[Hopelesslee]

Thank you for your kind suggestions.. I have a small dog but it is getting to a stage where even his loyalty and constant companionship is not enough.. I cannot see a light at the end of my tunnel and find I no longer have the strength to be interested in anything anymore. Why does life have to be like this? I was tested and found to have inherited a depression gene from my father's side..I believe I am a coward as I cannot do what I think of often..I just want to stop the pain.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lee-Ann,

We're really sorry to hear how low you're feeling today but are glad to see you're reaching out for support this afternoon,

We can hear you're feeling lonely and know this must be so hard. We hope our community here can be a warm and supportive place for you to share your thoughts. In addition to this, we'd also like to recommend the following booklet on our website which has some great resources on how to manage loneliness: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/docs/default-source/resources/408362_0318_bl1366_hrnt.pdf

We'd also urge you to contact our Support Service. We have some friendly and supportive counselors there who can listen and point you in the right direction for help in your area. We’re available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEDT on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

Let us know what strategies you might find helpful to implement and please keep us updated here Lee-Ann,

[Croix]

Dear Lee-Ann~

I'm going to jump right in and assume that then you said " believe I am a coward as I cannot do what I think of often..I just want to stop the pain." you were talking of ending you life.

If I'm mistaken I apologize.

At one stage in my life my whole world seemed hopeless, that the problems were caused by me being the way I was, that life was truly horrible and I really did not want to keep on going.

Like you I thought of a 'way out' and berated myself for not doing so straight away. Like you I felt this was lack of willpower combined with weakness and fear, making me feel even more unhappy with myself.

I ended up with medical help, something sorely needed as I was simply getting worse by myself. As you can see it must have been effective, after all I'm here writing to you and giving you suggestions that do not fit - at the moment anyway.

Later, on reflection I came ot the conclusion that my self-accusations of cowardice were in fact something else entirely. I did not want ot die, like you I simply wanted the horrible pain to stop, and my mind had not quite convinced itself that taking my life was the only way - so I hesitated. Not cowardice, survival instinct.

Just as well I did.

Now my life is unrecognizable, I'm glad to be here. I was a total mess but got to where I am now, if I can then I'd imagine you can too.

May I suggest when you have these feelings you call the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) - a service I particularly recommenced. You can call more than once without having ot re-explain everything all over again, they are sensible, practical and professional -and can be comfort too.

Combined with Sophie_M's suggestions there is a way forward.

I hope we can keep on talking

Croix

[Chris_Tas]

Yes stay with us.

Fantastic courage in sharing your emotions.