Words: Friends or Foe? How can writing help you.

[quirkywords]

People can be afraid of words as they have no confidence in what they write. Maybe at school teachers have said negative things about their writing or their parents have said they don't write well.

Some people are anxious to write their first post as they wonder if they will make sense to others.

I believe words are your friends and everyone who can read this can write in meaningful way.

I want to look at how writing can help you

1) by helping you to explain and express your feelings to others

2) allowing you to connect to others through your words

3) by keeping a journal or starting a thread here and learn from your own writing and read others.

4) by helping you work out how to change certain behaviours

and many more we can share with each other.

To start at the beginning : Are words your friend or foe?

When you see a blank page or screen are you filled with fear or are you excited at the challenge.

Does writing words down help you more or in a different way to speaking them?

Everyone is welcome to contribute, first time posters , regulars, people who don't like writing , people who find they go the character limit for the post every time.

Write on

Quirky

PS writing in this context is same as typing , or using voice to text.

I want to look at how words can help you express your thoughts and emotions?

[quirkywords]

Words : friends or foe.

I find when I am down I often say or write words that seem to be confused or upset others.

Does anyone find this that there moods affect their words and their writing?

Quirky

[Summer Rose]

Most certainly, Quirky. My moods affect my words and writing.

I have learned to write instead of speak when I'm feeling down/angry/upset, precisely because I don't want to upset others. You can write anything on a blank page when you know no one is going to read it but you. It feels great to let it out, raw and blemished and not even close to polished. It helps one to focus on the real issue at hand. With this knowledge, I usually delete the writing. The release has been achieved, clarity gained and I can let it go.

It's trickier when you know others will see the words. I've written two eulogy's in my life and they were very difficult. Writing from a place of deep sadness, whilst trying to remember poignant stories and striving to really commemorate a person's life, is very very hard work. I really hope I don't have to write any more any time soon.

[justaburden]

Totally agree with you Tams20. i can sit and jabber on with small talk all night long. But when it comes to deep and meaningful talks, especially involving my feelings, my mind just freezes. I can write it all down and hopefully it translates appropriately. Maybe it is partly to do with anxiety and my fear of feeling my thoughts and feelings dont matter so much. I also fear a bad response if I open up and express myself, my views or feelings, So, yes, writing is my preferred method of commumication especially dealing with a relationship. Face to face is just too confronting.

[quirkywords]

Hello to all those who use words,

Thanks just a burden and welcome to this thread.

I like how you explain the difference between writing down your feelings and small talk.

Your thoughtful response has prompted a question from me to you and everyone.

Is there a difference for you when you write down your feelings and thoughts just for yourself and when you write down your thoughts for others to read?

For me I think I am more spontaneous in my journal that is just for my eyes only .

I know when I write to post here or other writing that others will read I find I tend to delete and edit and not be as free with my writing.

It does depend on what I am writing about sometimes I always write for my heart and try to be honest .

I know I ramble so when writing for others I try to cut down on the rambling!!

Quirky

[Lici]

Morning quirky 😊 (and all who may read)

To answer your question as to whether my moods affect my writing, definitely! I find that when I'm depressed, my words are much more pessimistic and I'll often talk about how much I hate or dislike things and somewhat focus on the past. When I'm anxious the focus will be on what I should be doing or what could go wrong. And when I'm just my normal self I'll be more optimistic and will talk in the present or about things I have planned etc. It's hard to describe the language as such, but the language/ words I use definitely changes and it's always interesting to read when I look back. Journals can be really good to look back on and really notice the pattern of MH and MI!

To answer your second question as to if there's a difference between what I write to other's vs myself, there's definitely a difference between what I write for myself and what I write for others to read.

When I'm writing for myself, my thoughts can be as all over the place and disjointed. I can write in sentences or in stream of consciousness etc. I'll always understand my own thought process and writing when I/if I read it later.

When I write for others, I have to think of sentence structure, spelling etc and make sure that something I write isn't going to offend anyone and really be conscious of the message that I'm trying to get across. I'll sometimes read a post/ email/ letter etc four or five times because I know I can be blunt and I need to make sure that what I'm saying hopefully can't be taken in the wrong way. If I'm writing about my own feelings or experiences, I'll leave a lot out. I edit my story because I don't want people to feel sorry for me. I find that when I'm writing or talking to others I more focus on how I can help them more than myself too.

Writing for others definitely takes a lot more effort on my part!

I hope you and all that read have a wonderful day!

Kind regards,

Lici

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone

Lici

thanks for your detailed answers my questions. MUch appreciated

I like that you want to write so you help others more than myself. I had not thought about that before. I hope that my writing helps others as I write from my heart but I never think about it intentionally.

i also fund my writing is seen S blunt or patronising so I have to make sure I am not confusing people or coming across as a know it all.

The trouble is that when I am too aware of whom I am writing for and what they may think, I can become nearly paralysed as I am too scared to write a word in case it offends someone.

Quirky

[Lici]

Hi quirky,

I don't really intentionally think about writing to be honest. I think it's just a personality trait or the way I was brought up. I feel that if I'm going to contribute to a conversation (such as on a thread on here) there needs to be a reason for me to add something. It's the same in real life, I'm the advise friend, the one people come to when they want advise on how to fix a problem etc. Sometimes it gets annoying, but I find that's my default, if someone is depressed or upset in real life I'll start thinking and suggesting ways for them to fix or get out of their situation. Sometimes it's appreciated, sometimes not. It's a hard habit to change!

I constantly wonder if I come across as a know it all! I hope I never do, but I'll also only say something if I have knowledge in the topic of discussion. I'm rather introverted so I guess that explains a lot as well. I understand what you mean about freezing up! I'm more like that in person than with writing though. I guess it's because I can spend as much time as I need getting what I write to come across the way I intend. It's hard though because tone and body language is a huge part of communicating and there's none of that in text!

I hope you had a good day quirky!

Lici

[quirkywords]

Hello everyone,

Thanks Lici for your comments.

Has anyone been doing any different writing to what they usually write?

Has anyone discovered anything about them selves from their writing?

Does anyone have a favourite new word or an old familiar word.?

Quirky

[AndyR]

Hi Quirky

Just found this thread. So delicious. will respond more when I have time tomorrow but in answer to your last question. I have two favourite words for they always make me smile when I use them:

discombobulate

shenanigans.

[quirkywords]

AndyR,

I like your avatar having turned 60 this year!

Thanks for replying I have read some of your other posts and you certainly have a way with words and an ability to convey your thoughts.

I like discombobulate and shenanigans. I think it is sad how some words go out of fashion.

I like the word frock, but who uses that anymore.

I like the word quirky obviously, and paraphernalia and many many more.

Quirky