I named the thoughts in my head Barbara - it helped.

[Banksy92]

One of the most valuable pieces of advice I was ever given on my mental health journey was this:

You are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts.

It really helped me to realise I can detach myself from the stories that pop into my head and keep me down when I don't feel my best. In fact, they aren't really even me. To help myself 'observe' my thoughts rather than go along with them, I named the voice Barbara. She's toxic, she's insecure, she's mean and she wants to drag you down the moment you're feeling weak.

So now whenever I catch myself caught up in anxious, unhealthy thoughts and worries I tell Barbara to go away. Out loud if I need to. I stop her in her tracks and tell her to shut up.

This might seem really trivial or silly to some, but it's a really helpful tactic for me to cope with my crippling anxiety.

Has anyone else tried something like this before? What are your tactics to quiet down the voice in your head?

Let's share 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Banksy, I like 'You are not your thoughts, you are the observer of your thoughts', unfortunately, it may take a person quite a while to come to this reasoning, as they struggle with what's actually going on, but as soon as they realise this, then it's understanding the pros and cons of each situation.

Calling it Barbara is perfect as it encompasses all these thoughts into one single solution, I used to say that it's not going to happen, so go away, but it took me a long time to realise this, now I have no trouble, and know that it does take a person having these thoughts to accept that.

Thanks, Banksy.

Geoff.

[Not_Batman]

Hi Banksy92

i had very similar advice.

think about what the voice sounds like, what it looks like. Give it a name, and repeat the words in its voice until they lose all meaning.

I recall sitting in the psych session, repeating the word ‘worthless’ maybe 50 times, in its voice, and by the end the word had lost a lot of its meaning.

i wont tell you what the name or look was, but that it is a sesame street character (because they are being controlled by someone else, and not exactly scary)

The idea was that by doing this, it would take power away from the voice. Now when that voice pops in, i can say ‘hello again (insert character name here)’

Not_Batman

[Learn to Fly]

Thanks Banksy,

This is brilliant! I new about the detachment or at least distancing to my own thoughts and seeing them as mere products of our brains. However, the “Barbara” approach is new to me and I like it a lot. Thanks so much for sharing and I would never think this is silly, quite the opposite: handy and a bit of a “life saviour” during difficult times.

Thanks a bunch!

[quirkywords]

Banksy

Thanks for this thread. I wrote a thread about inner critic and whether you can tame it. I didn’t give that negative voice a name just my inner critic.

I have interviewed my inner critic. Ilike the idea of Barbara as she couldn’t be a critic with that name.

[Banksy92]

Agreed Geoff, it certainly took me a long long time to build this habit in (and I still forget sometimes) but once you have it it can be very handy. Great to hear you've found a way that works for you too.

[Banksy92]

I like this Not_Batman, it's funny how repetition can help us distance from things. Love how you also made a character out of your voice, that would really help to create more distance too, I might try this!

[Banksy92]

So glad you think so Learn to Fly 🙂 Always good to throw a few things at it when we're really struggling I find and eventually something helps..

[Banksy92]

I'll have to have a look at your thread too, such an important topic. Glad you also like the Barbara tactic 🙂

[Isabella_]

Yes! This is an amazing way to look at thoughts.

It seems we have the tendency to find evidence to support our thoughts and define them as facts.. For example, if I decide to go for a walk but feel really insecure about my hair, I'll automatically assume that any person that looks in my direction is judging what my hair looks like.

I think it's an amazing skill to dismiss self sabotaging thoughts and stop them in their tracks.

I think also a big part of healing is being able to look at Barbara with empathy and nurture her while maintaining our boundaries.. She is very broken and hurt.