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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Scapegoated New Antidepressant working better but people who scapegoat
  • replies: 3

STILL get to me because I have trauma from my narcissist mother and pedophile older narcissist sister doing that. They would watch me then ridicule and criticize me all because the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS my father favored me. They are mousy and I am prett... View more

STILL get to me because I have trauma from my narcissist mother and pedophile older narcissist sister doing that. They would watch me then ridicule and criticize me all because the BIG MAN ON CAMPUS my father favored me. They are mousy and I am pretty and exotic so they are extremely jealous and they hurt me when I was little emotionally so now whenever someone LOOKS at me I feel very self-conscious and I also do not like being scapegoated and people-narcissists -SMELL scapegaots coming and they will hunt you down. So Any group-at work or at school is potential for scapegoating and this new antidepressant makes me feel less self conscious but people are still staring and it just bothers me less. Someone told me that the guys say "she's really pretty but weird." Well, yeah, if you had two psychopaths for a mother and adult sibling mother like figure you would be "weird" read: TRAUMATIZED too. I just go about my day doing what is healthy for me. trying to connect with Nature. Today I got my period so I didn;t feel like exercising.

Gab_ HOW DO YOU KEEP BUSY???
  • replies: 17

I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having negative thoughts, the only way for me to stay on top of my head is to keep busy. For me it helps to be productive and creative, whether that be by working, doing my assignments, exercising, paintin... View more

I don't know about anyone else, but when I'm having negative thoughts, the only way for me to stay on top of my head is to keep busy. For me it helps to be productive and creative, whether that be by working, doing my assignments, exercising, painting, or writing poetry. Does anyone out there want to share how they cope when they're feeling 'not so hot'???

Ciara1 Love is everything?
  • replies: 1

It's difficult to define living now. I am breathing, my heart is beating, my body is warm and I am healthy as I can be. Still my life feels hollow. Why? I have friends and I have my family around me. I have work and I have the opportunity to succeed ... View more

It's difficult to define living now. I am breathing, my heart is beating, my body is warm and I am healthy as I can be. Still my life feels hollow. Why? I have friends and I have my family around me. I have work and I have the opportunity to succeed in life. I am quiet lucky in that sense. I am thankful. What is missing then? I been living without my boyfriend for 1 and half years. He lives overseas and I am here, stuck in constant floods of lockdowns. We started talking at the beginning of COVID-19 and have now formed a relationship, which I value the most in my life. Its difficult not being able to be with him. It breaks my heart and it discolours everything else I have in my life. I am trying to apply for exemption to see him. However my pain and story is not good enough for the borders authority to give exception. I am holding on and trying to stay optimistic. Its hard though, living with no clarity. I am lacking that is fundamental to life…love.

Ciara1 What keeps you going?
  • replies: 1

I learnt that for me its the little things that keep me going. From being able to see the sunset, to being able to say good morning to my boyfriend, to finishing my work and going home, and to watching my favourite Tv-show. I had to explore all of th... View more

I learnt that for me its the little things that keep me going. From being able to see the sunset, to being able to say good morning to my boyfriend, to finishing my work and going home, and to watching my favourite Tv-show. I had to explore all of these things during the pandemic to keep myself going. To keep myself positive. I want to know from you, what it is that keeps you going. Not just today, not this year but living this life, what is it that makes you get up and keep breathing.

white knight WORDS are stick and stones
  • replies: 16

We have all been hurt by them yet they do not touch us physically. Words. Sticks and stone will break our bones but words will never hurt me? hat part of that saying didnt get into us at childhood? In my late 50's now it was only a few years ago that... View more

We have all been hurt by them yet they do not touch us physically. Words. Sticks and stone will break our bones but words will never hurt me? hat part of that saying didnt get into us at childhood? In my late 50's now it was only a few years ago that two separate messages came through via forums or Facebook "go back to your doctor and get some more medication you nutter". On both occasions I sat there stunned. Then came the rebound, the fight was on, the need to correct what was clearly a travesty, an unaccepted form of abuse akin to racial slurs, sexual discrimination and all those things this millennium would no longer tolerate. For I was right, there is no place in todays society for such cruel and unjust abuse. But I forgot one thing.....they said it because they still could say it. No law can gag them. So did I do anything wrong? Apart from any provocation by disagreeing with their point of view, my error was to allow these people to effect me with words.Words can be soooo cutting, slicing through every nerve of your soul. Words can come out of the blue and savagely cut through your honour. Words can be from inaccurate to plain wrong. Words can, when coming from a master spin doctor, evil in their transmission, spiteful in ways that many of us cannot fathom because it isnt in our make up...we didnt develop this ability. Us with mental illness are more often than those without it, to speak without thinking and speak with truth (my belief). We dont possess the ability to scheme and therefore we are more shocked than others when cruelty arrives at our ears. And the rock throwers know that, they know how to aim at your head with their mean missiles. Of course this is just another reason why some of us retreat to our lair, our safe haven. Such words of evil intent also come out of the blue, no warning, no signals. You may have an idea that you dont like these people but still nothing can prepare you for their full armoury unleashed. Words can be unleashed at the worst moments. The weddings, the birthdays, the funerals, public places. What can we do? Hard for us to prepare because that would involve planning for words you dont know the content of. You might have the ability to plan a laugh but that would involve some awesome acting on your part. What we do have to do, to protect ourselves, is to try to remain invisible. Distance oneself. Cross the road. Categorise these tyrants for what they are- inhuman. For words are weapons. Let them throw them at themselves.

Here2Talk Does anyone feel for their pets?
  • replies: 3

Got our dog desexed today. All growing up my family got it done to our pets, but for the first time I feel sad about it. Not depressed sad, just a strange feeling of sadness... it’s weird because a couple of weeks later the dog won’t know or care- it... View more

Got our dog desexed today. All growing up my family got it done to our pets, but for the first time I feel sad about it. Not depressed sad, just a strange feeling of sadness... it’s weird because a couple of weeks later the dog won’t know or care- it’s a strange quirk of the human condition to consider such things.... Anyone else have stories or just a tendency for their empathy for their pets to be so much it hurts? Take care.

Auton Extended Lockdown
  • replies: 9

morning all - hope this is in the right place!? As news of the VIC lockdown going for another week emerges (as well as more restrictions for NSW), just checking in with everyone, especially people that live alone or have any lockdown anxieties of any... View more

morning all - hope this is in the right place!? As news of the VIC lockdown going for another week emerges (as well as more restrictions for NSW), just checking in with everyone, especially people that live alone or have any lockdown anxieties of any kind (like me).

dizzy316 Three ways to feel better - now!
  • replies: 3

I would love to hear about things you do that make you feel better (or more in control) when you are feeling overwhelmed. When I am feeling helpless a few of my strategies are: 1. Force myself to get out of bed. Get into the shower, put some clean cl... View more

I would love to hear about things you do that make you feel better (or more in control) when you are feeling overwhelmed. When I am feeling helpless a few of my strategies are: 1. Force myself to get out of bed. Get into the shower, put some clean clothes on, do my hair, do my make-up and brush my teeth. Even though I really can't be bothered, it always makes me feel better. 2. Put some essential oil on and relaxing music then write down my biggest problems or long-term goals. Then I break it down into yearly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals and finally I am left with a simple task of what I can do TODAY to work towards this. This daily goal may be as simple as getting to the chemist to get my script filled and setting a recurring alarm to ensure I take my medication. 3. Choose ONE productive thing I can do today. Get on top of that pile of washing that is strewn throughout the house or finally tackle that pile of dishes. Life is overwhelming and sometimes I just want to stay in bed. These are my default "get up!" tactics but I would love to hear yours so I can give them a go.

dizzy316 My work is a prison that you can never leave.
  • replies: 4

I am a 32yo F in a leadership position in a large government organisation and my job is killing me. I can barely get myself to go and have used all my leave just trying to get by. I am getting more and more depressed, my mental, emotional and physica... View more

I am a 32yo F in a leadership position in a large government organisation and my job is killing me. I can barely get myself to go and have used all my leave just trying to get by. I am getting more and more depressed, my mental, emotional and physical health is worsening. This has been going on for two years at which point I decided to seek part-time employment as I know this is the solution for me. For two years, every week, I checked the bulletins and finally, the perfect job came up (part time positions are essentially non existent in our organisation!) Three days per week, a promotion and change of location. Amazing! My skillset aligns, this is it, my light at the end of the tunnel, my chance to get out of there! I had so much hope, it felt right, the weight I had been carrying around lifted just with the thought and, to my delight, I was offered the promotion!!!!! (Note: I have been knocked-back on three occasions for an ongoing promotion at my current location in the role I am in, however they continue to keep me in this acting role as it suits them). But finally, alas, someone has recognised my abilities and to add the icing on the cake it was part time! I could not believe it! I'm going to buy some new work clothes to celebrate! I was so happy. My partner was so happy for me that he cried! Then I got the call. My General Manager decided not to release me for this new position. They are "too understaffed", they need to keep me acting in my current role (but I'm not good enough for it on an ongoing basis?) They have released several others for promotions but due to my skillset they are going to keep me? They then took the liberty of informing my would-be new workplace that they will not let me go. And so, all my hopes were shattered and I am back to working full-time, 9 days in a row. I begged, pleaded for them to let me go. For two years I have been waiting for this opportunity to come along! This opportunity won't come along again. I have done everything for you! I have never asked for anything in my 8 years here. My mental health is worsening! Please! But still "the answer is no, you are not going, end of story". I am now as low as I have ever been and to make matters worse, as if to punish me further, they have bumped me out of the role I have been acting in and back to the rank below, as if to teach me a lesson for trying to leave. I am so lost. I am so sad. I am so hopeless. What do I do? How do I claw myself out of this hole???

white knight Which one are you? 16 personalities
  • replies: 30

I found a web site that is most interesting. We often wonder who we are, why we think in a certain way and why we clash with others or if we are introvert or extrovert. Google 16 personalities test I did and found I'm a "mediator" and my wife an "adv... View more

I found a web site that is most interesting. We often wonder who we are, why we think in a certain way and why we clash with others or if we are introvert or extrovert. Google 16 personalities test I did and found I'm a "mediator" and my wife an "advocate". Such descriptions are spot on. It could answer many of your questions of your behaviour and put your mind at rest. TonyWK