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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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dizzy316 Three ways to feel better - now!
  • replies: 3

I would love to hear about things you do that make you feel better (or more in control) when you are feeling overwhelmed. When I am feeling helpless a few of my strategies are: 1. Force myself to get out of bed. Get into the shower, put some clean cl... View more

I would love to hear about things you do that make you feel better (or more in control) when you are feeling overwhelmed. When I am feeling helpless a few of my strategies are: 1. Force myself to get out of bed. Get into the shower, put some clean clothes on, do my hair, do my make-up and brush my teeth. Even though I really can't be bothered, it always makes me feel better. 2. Put some essential oil on and relaxing music then write down my biggest problems or long-term goals. Then I break it down into yearly goals, monthly goals, weekly goals and finally I am left with a simple task of what I can do TODAY to work towards this. This daily goal may be as simple as getting to the chemist to get my script filled and setting a recurring alarm to ensure I take my medication. 3. Choose ONE productive thing I can do today. Get on top of that pile of washing that is strewn throughout the house or finally tackle that pile of dishes. Life is overwhelming and sometimes I just want to stay in bed. These are my default "get up!" tactics but I would love to hear yours so I can give them a go.

dizzy316 My work is a prison that you can never leave.
  • replies: 4

I am a 32yo F in a leadership position in a large government organisation and my job is killing me. I can barely get myself to go and have used all my leave just trying to get by. I am getting more and more depressed, my mental, emotional and physica... View more

I am a 32yo F in a leadership position in a large government organisation and my job is killing me. I can barely get myself to go and have used all my leave just trying to get by. I am getting more and more depressed, my mental, emotional and physical health is worsening. This has been going on for two years at which point I decided to seek part-time employment as I know this is the solution for me. For two years, every week, I checked the bulletins and finally, the perfect job came up (part time positions are essentially non existent in our organisation!) Three days per week, a promotion and change of location. Amazing! My skillset aligns, this is it, my light at the end of the tunnel, my chance to get out of there! I had so much hope, it felt right, the weight I had been carrying around lifted just with the thought and, to my delight, I was offered the promotion!!!!! (Note: I have been knocked-back on three occasions for an ongoing promotion at my current location in the role I am in, however they continue to keep me in this acting role as it suits them). But finally, alas, someone has recognised my abilities and to add the icing on the cake it was part time! I could not believe it! I'm going to buy some new work clothes to celebrate! I was so happy. My partner was so happy for me that he cried! Then I got the call. My General Manager decided not to release me for this new position. They are "too understaffed", they need to keep me acting in my current role (but I'm not good enough for it on an ongoing basis?) They have released several others for promotions but due to my skillset they are going to keep me? They then took the liberty of informing my would-be new workplace that they will not let me go. And so, all my hopes were shattered and I am back to working full-time, 9 days in a row. I begged, pleaded for them to let me go. For two years I have been waiting for this opportunity to come along! This opportunity won't come along again. I have done everything for you! I have never asked for anything in my 8 years here. My mental health is worsening! Please! But still "the answer is no, you are not going, end of story". I am now as low as I have ever been and to make matters worse, as if to punish me further, they have bumped me out of the role I have been acting in and back to the rank below, as if to teach me a lesson for trying to leave. I am so lost. I am so sad. I am so hopeless. What do I do? How do I claw myself out of this hole???

white knight Which one are you? 16 personalities
  • replies: 30

I found a web site that is most interesting. We often wonder who we are, why we think in a certain way and why we clash with others or if we are introvert or extrovert. Google 16 personalities test I did and found I'm a "mediator" and my wife an "adv... View more

I found a web site that is most interesting. We often wonder who we are, why we think in a certain way and why we clash with others or if we are introvert or extrovert. Google 16 personalities test I did and found I'm a "mediator" and my wife an "advocate". Such descriptions are spot on. It could answer many of your questions of your behaviour and put your mind at rest. TonyWK

Ggrand Grounding yourself, What is it and how do you?
  • replies: 49

Grounding yourself, is the process of balancing your physical, emotional, mental and energy state and reconnecting them. I have over the past month or so been in need of grounding quite often, here are a few things that I have been trying, some do wo... View more

Grounding yourself, is the process of balancing your physical, emotional, mental and energy state and reconnecting them. I have over the past month or so been in need of grounding quite often, here are a few things that I have been trying, some do work and some don't work for me, I suppose it's a matter of trial and error. When is grounding necessary? Anyone with mental illness at some times run into problems with not being grounded. When we are not grounded we may feel, lightheaded, tired, disconnected, dazed, confused, shaken, flighty, emotionally unstable, etc. Following is some tips for grounding yourselves, just remember not every tip works for every person. What works for one might not work for you. Just keep trying different technics or a combination of a few until you find something that works, Eating...eating is great for grounding, eat healthy things, fruit, vegetables, salads, some protein, legumes, potatoes, eggs, fish, etc. Who doesn't like chocolate, a few pieces of dark chocolate is good for your heart, has an antioxidant in it, plus its taste good. Other strong tastes,....Curries, chillies, rich spicy foods also has a grounding effect, Eating has slowing effect on the mind and settling mental states. A regular Scedule....A regular schedule of sleeping, exercise. By doing something on a regular schedule helps your willpower. Connect with Nature....Walking barefoot outside, feel the grass under your feet, the coolness of it, the texture of it, sand is great to walk on dig your toes, heels, bury your feet in the sand, gardening, long nature walks, these are all good for grounding yourself. Baths and Showers,.... Baths and showers can be a powerful grounding element, The water running over your hair, head, down your body is really vey potent as is having a bath, with warm water, bubbles and maybe some scented candles, darkening the room for more grounding. Scents and Smells....Smells can be really powerful in grounding ourselves, find one that works for you, Lavender is well known for giving a relaxing feeling. Hard excercise,...When your not sure how to ground yourself, try hard physical excercise, cycling, cardio or running. but do not over do it. These are a few things that we can try to ground ourselves. How do you ground yourself? Your thoughts and grounding techniques are very welcome. Grandy.

Leonay I don't know if anyone feels like I do???
  • replies: 8

This is a poem I wrote while in crisis and I don't know if it makes sense at all (it is a little rough but I have left it raw as it was written just to explain to people I know how I felt and they don't understand)... I don’t know quite just what to ... View more

This is a poem I wrote while in crisis and I don't know if it makes sense at all (it is a little rough but I have left it raw as it was written just to explain to people I know how I felt and they don't understand)... I don’t know quite just what to do a hurdle has come my way An obstacle so frightening I’m scared I’ll lose my way I know just where I have been and what its like down there The Black Dog is again barking and I’m caught up in its snare I know its not the right thing but I cannot see the light I’m frightened of spending another second let alone another night Feeling the way that I do where my emotions are on full burst Wanting to end everything, wanting it with such thirst I’m frightened of going backwards to hospital again Because I’m suicidal and I feel alone without a friend I feel like I've let everyone down, every person that I love I feel like they’ll get freedom from a peaceful flying dove If I can just go quietly into the night and not wake Everyone will be better off and for me they won’t need to be fake They can be with who they want to and be happy one and all They can free themselves from my shackles and stop their personal fall For I am but a burden causing not a thing but great pain For everyone around me again again again I feel like it is time for me to be a man and do what’s right for all To end the pain and suffering and end it for them all. Please don’t send me away from here I trust you oh so much This is but my one last chance to save me from the things that hurt so much Please help me to understand how to manage how I feel I’m on the edge this very second and for me this is definitely real.

Nodrog Life Insurance Questionnaire Bemusement *Trigger warning - past suicide attempt*
  • replies: 5

I just wanted to share my recent experience with applying for life insurance. I'm fairly stoic and keep my cards close to my chest. Over the years I have learnt to manage my mental health, identify triggers, and know when to reach out for professiona... View more

I just wanted to share my recent experience with applying for life insurance. I'm fairly stoic and keep my cards close to my chest. Over the years I have learnt to manage my mental health, identify triggers, and know when to reach out for professional support like to going to my GP or trusted psychologist. I don't openly share my mental health history because the reaction I usually get is bewilderment and sympathy. Part of it is about the stigma that so many people associate with suicide attempts. I'm in a good place mentally, I have a great support network and a fantastic GP. I've recently applied to update my life insurance and have been left floundering through endless questions about my mental health history. the process is incredibly traumatic and confronting. First I had to sit with someone completely unknown to me and disclose my medical history, which includes 2 hospitalisations after suicide attempts. Not a pleasant experience. Thankfully she was lovely and sent me the questions to fill out in my own time in privacy. It didn't stop there. A second form arrived which required even more details about triggers and causes of my suicide attempts. But the form I filled out today was mind boggling. This is now the third time I have provided some of this information. But the questions have left me complete bemused; What part of your body was affected? The cause? Have you ever been off work, state when, duration and reason/restriction? The best is I had 4 lines to give details of all the consultations, treatments, hospitalisations, findings, advice and the practitioner's details for a 25+ year medical history. The cynic in me says that all these forms are just a way for the insurance company to wear you down and withdraw your application. But I will soldier on and get this done come hell or high water.

white knight Want to be a hermit?
  • replies: 38

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me. However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from peo... View more

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me. However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from people...with the exception of my close family members.Why? Sensitivity plays a huge part. Without it a thick skin would shield me against those that hurt. Ok, thats my reason for me being tempted to become a recluse so what stopped me? After a few attempts to run away from humans i realised that it wasnt practical even though l was desperate . I still needed health care so a current medicare card (nowadays), supplies for hygiene, utensils, tools, even hair cutting implements..and if something breaks? What about shelter? I'd suspect these are the reasons hermits are homeless in cities where they can access services. So if you have a burning desire to withdraw from society, what is an alternative? A comfort safe zone might be your answer. Firstly as people with mental illness we should not feel guilty for not contributing towards society. We are often only capable of focussing on our own survival. Find an environment that suits you in housing you can afford. Many of us cant afford much. Consider a caravan...if you are single you are mobile and can park it in someones back yard for low rent..or be a drifter of caravan parks with some roadside or free camping. The concept should be to maintain just enough contact with society to enable you to reap the benefits of it. I call it "swanning". I swan into town for my supplies, have a coffee at our fav cafe if it isnt busy and im feeling well, then swan out. Over time you will perfect the regulation needed of home and away from home to remain in your best possible mental health. A friend of mine a single guy with ptsd rents a cottage in our small town (pop 200). He drives a hiace campervan. His rent is very low here and he can tour around as he likes. He has many friends in Melbourne so when he wants he drives down, stays overnight then leaves the next day. He swans in and swans out. If you are so depressed and can no longer tolerate people for whatever reason, resist the feelings of total withdrawal In 1983 l expressed to my GP my need to live in the bush alone and with no contact. He said "you'll last about 3 months then you will be very unwell". If you have just survived society, take care of yourself and find a safe place on society's fringe. Tony WK

MissJ94 Whats your dream job??
  • replies: 1

Im a nurse, studying to be a midwife. But if i could be or do anything i wanted with my life id either be a professional gamer playing Elder Scrolls or id be a Japanese Idol like the ones in Love Live School Idol Project殺 I often find myself daydream... View more

Im a nurse, studying to be a midwife. But if i could be or do anything i wanted with my life id either be a professional gamer playing Elder Scrolls or id be a Japanese Idol like the ones in Love Live School Idol Project🥰 I often find myself daydreaming about how my life would be if those two were reality, consumes quite a bit of my time to be honest! Your turn!

Sad_Mushroom Be Well
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I am not here much anymore as I got better. It is funny as when you 1st get better you think you will be here all the time to help. THEN Life gets in the way. The DOG does bark at me quite a bit but I can ignore it most times. I can ignore th... View more

Hi all, I am not here much anymore as I got better. It is funny as when you 1st get better you think you will be here all the time to help. THEN Life gets in the way. The DOG does bark at me quite a bit but I can ignore it most times. I can ignore the DOG enough to work and function. I hope you all find your way someday... Kellie

_the_mandalorian_ Need something in the medium term to look forward
  • replies: 2

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbi... View more

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbies like reading, reformer pilates (I'm becoming an instructor), watching some live sports I do a lot of self care like meditation I have a few friends that I see regularly Pre covid I did a reasonable amount of travel, even got a job overseas I don't have a girlfriend/wife and/or family. But my siblings and my parents live nearby It was a LOT of effort (and lots of reading) but I can manage anxiety/life reasonably well My life is pretty stable. I have had (IMHO) bad experiences in the past with relationships where it wasn't really even. People see me and they think I am extremely fortunate. Because of that I get ignored a lot. Or even worse they think they can throw their problems at me (this is an extreme simplification BTW I could probably write a book on these experiences). Even now I have really cut myself back to only messaging 2 of my friends and my mum and sister. Everyone else had just moved on with their life. No falling out or anything they just have other priorities. %90 of the time I am by myself just doing things by myself. And most of the time it is ok. I chose it, I own it. I'm in a process of changing how I look at the world. Everything is just flat. The normal things that lots of people feel good about I feel nothing. It is fine, amor fate (love of ones fate). What I really is something to work towards but I have no idea what that is? I mean paying off my mortgage in my early 40s is good I guess but what else. Post covid I'll probably take myself on a big vacation in Europe (by myself of course). Career wise the only place up the ladder is to get into leadership/management which doesn't interest me. I just need something to get excited about that I can do myself.