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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Compartmentalizing your time
  • replies: 12

We often talk about acceptance of our illness, as being part of ourselves. This acceptance once accomplished, is a huge step forward in our recovery towards existing in a society that for us is challenging. I've found that carrying out procedures lik... View more

We often talk about acceptance of our illness, as being part of ourselves. This acceptance once accomplished, is a huge step forward in our recovery towards existing in a society that for us is challenging. I've found that carrying out procedures like meditation, muscle transitioning exercises, mindfulness, and the like used to be carried out on a needs basis. If under stress- do some deep breathing, my heart rate is high- do some muscle sanctioning exercises and so on. But there is a problem...that is a needs based routine, a little like bandaging a cut rather than preventing the injury in the first place. I've found it is of great advantage to put in place a routine of these techniques as a preventative rather than a remedy. As an example my muscle mentioning exercises have been a nighty ritual for several years now. Just prior to sleep I tension up each set of muscles for 15 seconds. The bonus is I fall to sleep easily, the prevention is that it assists in preventing a racing heart and anxiety. So, try introducing routine processes into your daily schedule. No different to those who regulate their time for religious prayers or hobbies or study. Preventative measures for our illness demands the same time allocation. Do you have set times for relaxation etc? TonyWK

white knight Loneliness- a remedy of mind
  • replies: 8

Loneliness is a worse feeling than what some people know. For those not lonely we can think- “just join a club”. But what is the heart of the problem? All of us at some point feel sorry for ourselves for what we haven’t got- in this case the company ... View more

Loneliness is a worse feeling than what some people know. For those not lonely we can think- “just join a club”. But what is the heart of the problem? All of us at some point feel sorry for ourselves for what we haven’t got- in this case the company of friends, a loving partner or family. What we can do is “switch our mindset” to turn that manner of thinking on its head. How? Well, instead of thinking what you have missing in your life, think about what you have. Its spelt out in Ralph Mctells song Streets of London. The lyrics are not meant to ridicule but to highlight what might not be obvious to us, the beauty of the world. We see a bland horizon but dismiss the wattle bird gathering nectar, we think about our money problems that we can’t pay for entertainment but mind fog stops us from finding joy in the sun rising. Loneliness can remain even in marriage. A life of appreciation is a life of calm. When we appreciate what we have and not focus on what is missing- then we can no longer feel lonely or deprived. Rich people can be unhappy. A homeless person can be rich but denied money. As the song “Streets of London” says “carrying her home in two carrier bags” or “lying on yesterday’s paper carrying yesterday’s news”. There is poverty out there, untreated mental illness and sadness. So if you are lonely open your possibilities. Yes try searching for groups and like minded people for company however, inner peace is an internal change that will be your ultimate fulfilment and that comes from a change of mindset. google to read more beyondblue topic switching mindsets beyondblue topic inner peace the glory of being YOU Beyondblue topic the balance of your life beyondblue topic want to be a hermit? beyondblue topic Ostracised-who’s fault is it? youtube Prem Rawat the perfect instrument TonyWK

The_Bro DOES WHAT YOU ARE DOING SUIT THE REAL YOU?
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone I was talking to a friend this morning about a certain comment I had made earlier, when he said 'Yes but that's not the real you". That and the subsequent conversation got me thinking about a course I did years ago, by a company that want... View more

Hi Everyone I was talking to a friend this morning about a certain comment I had made earlier, when he said 'Yes but that's not the real you". That and the subsequent conversation got me thinking about a course I did years ago, by a company that wanted all its employees to be on the same page so the speak, with values aligned as closely as possible. So what is a value? We ended up agreeing that it is a principle or standard of behaviour, and judging what's important in life. I often refer to the term "Moral compass", that is how our thoughts and morals help to guide us through life. They are an intrinsic part of you that reveal what you do and how you do it. Once you form a set of values, they kind of become what you stand for. When you don't stick to your values it can feel a little weird and you will probably reflect on that later. Someone may even pull you up on it like my friend did at the start of this post! If you don't get on with someone and are always clashing, it normally comes down to a clash of values. Recognising that can be useful in understanding what's going on with the relationship issues. So I really feel that deciding on personal values is quite important, and letting them guide you through life. Some examples of values may include honesty, openness, caring for the environment, being positive, being a role model to kids, being a good listener and so on. Just wondering, has anyone thought much about what their personal values might be, and tried sticking to them? Or found it difficult to do so? I look forward to hearing what you think! Regards, The Bro

white knight Boredom, break free with action
  • replies: 10

Most of us have gone through periods of boredom. I mean it is hard to break away from the routine of doing nothing, work, drive home, chores, more chores, TV, computer...still overall boredom. How do you break that lifestyle? Ok, on the odd occasion ... View more

Most of us have gone through periods of boredom. I mean it is hard to break away from the routine of doing nothing, work, drive home, chores, more chores, TV, computer...still overall boredom. How do you break that lifestyle? Ok, on the odd occasion we don our runners and start a get fit campaign. We'll tell the world that we are going to lose weight and we walk/run a few kms a day...then it falls away, back to the sofa. A few facts about all this struggle. As people with mental illness We need to acknowledge that we have a harder time sticking to a routine. If you accept that, then you wont feel such a failure at trying to turn things around. Routine doesnt sit with us very well and takes far more motivation than those without a MI. Obesity often is, a real challenge. Again we can accept that we humans are all built differently, different DNA. Again acceptance has its place- we should accept that we will never be a model figure so stop trying. We can also accept that good effort is enough that it should make us content within ourselves. If obese, we should also approach the topic of abuse from other people. This is covered in the inspiring thread by our champion Quirkywords see below- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/does-putting-on-weight-affect-your-mental-health#dSng0fdQq0GYEMviqmf3Jg Back to boredom. Often when a problem arises we can tackle it in a conventional manner first. Eg. Stamp out the boredom with filling your life with activities. This can include conventional methods like- hobbies, sports, passions, clubs, self regulated social media, games on the computer. Hobbies and sports are the answer for most people, even barracking for a team on the TV and attending matches. Hobbies can include both indoor and outdoors. But I have learned that people either have a passion or dont, eg a passion comes naturally. A past partner of mind had no passion yet I had model airplanes which I built indoors in comfort and flew them outdoors among club members. I also read magazines on them and painted them myself etc. It took up a lot of my time. She ha dno hobby resulting in a huge problem and frankly I had no answers but what I've mentioned here already. It also proved to me that other people cannot find the solution to this issue except suggest they pursue some conventional time filling methods. Whatever you find that breaks the boredom cycle action of any sort will be more productive than no action at all. TonyWK

Miz R U OK Day - Let's start the conversation!
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, In the spirit of R U OK Day happening later this week, I thought I'd kick off the conversation and ask what is 1 thing you can do this week to make sure you or someone around you is feeling okay? This year, R U OK day is a little harder ... View more

Hi everyone, In the spirit of R U OK Day happening later this week, I thought I'd kick off the conversation and ask what is 1 thing you can do this week to make sure you or someone around you is feeling okay? This year, R U OK day is a little harder for all of us, as we a struggling in lockdown and no one is really feeling "okay". So I challenge you to dig a little deeper and ask are yourself or your loved ones are you really okay? Remember that it's okay NOT to be okay and acknowledging that you're struggling is the first step to getting help! I'll start us off: every day this week I'm sending a text message to 1 friend or family member to see how they are doing and ask if they are going okay! I know it's really hard to maintain social contact at the moment, but I think one little message can go a long long way at the moment Looking forward to hearing from everyone!

Messer Changing meds
  • replies: 5

Hi - I'm new. I am a middle-aged woman with depression. I've had depression for 30+ years and been on and off medication over the last 15 or so. As well as the stress of lockdown, I am experiencing unpleasant symptoms with menopause and going through... View more

Hi - I'm new. I am a middle-aged woman with depression. I've had depression for 30+ years and been on and off medication over the last 15 or so. As well as the stress of lockdown, I am experiencing unpleasant symptoms with menopause and going through relationship counselling. I gave up drinking a few years ago - it was a great thing for me to give up because I had been treating alcohol as an escape hatch. It was pretty unhealthy. At the moment I am changing medications so effectively have been unmedicated for the last week (time weaning off old one, waiting for new one to kick in). It is hellish. I am having some side effects from the new meds (insomnia is the worst) without yet experiencing relief. I know I just have to be patient. I have a great GP who is really supportive and helpful. She has referred me to a menopause specialist and helped with a mental health plan and this new medication. Objectively I have so much help and so many resources available to me - I feel such guilt for being so miserable and numb, but I can't shake myself out of it. My concentration is shot so it is hard to distract myself, even with TV (and work is terrifying). I am trying to be positive. But I am so scared - I don't know how to get through the next few days.

Guest9337 Three things you aren't sorry about today...
  • replies: 76

I am not sorry for opening this thread. I am not sorry for Inviting everyone to have a go at it! I am not sorry for helping people practicing to not say sorry too much! Idea, a thread were we aren't sorry about hate, ingratitude, being safe, thinking... View more

I am not sorry for opening this thread. I am not sorry for Inviting everyone to have a go at it! I am not sorry for helping people practicing to not say sorry too much! Idea, a thread were we aren't sorry about hate, ingratitude, being safe, thinking about revenge and acting for fair restoration. In this thread people are encouraged to practice avoiding saying sorry in a moral and friendly way. I am not sorry that I stand up for rights about children. I am not sorry that I spilt the milk, but I will clean it up right now. Other forms we might take are less about letting go of sorry, and more about using what you are sorry about as motivation. I make no apologies for feeling hate about what is happening to children in detention centres and I'm going to write a letter about it! I refuse to be sorry for any one who wears hot red revealing shorts and a boob tube to a funeral and has been told they cannot come inside. I am not sorry that I said “fair go mate!” when someone elses child hurt my finger. I am not sorry that I broke up with my abusive partner, so that I can be safer. I am not sorry that you got drunk because you believe I told my best friend I like the movie One flew over the cuckoos nest, when I’ve previously told you I don’t like it. I am not sorry for changing my mind, I have new information now and am making a better decision now than back then. When anger rises, I will not apologise for being angry, because the thing that makes me angry is against the laws of Australia. Or how about. I will not be sorry about plotting a morally fair a legal revenge upon my abuser. I am not sorry for thinking about or wanting to kill someone that I will never meet and have no real intentions of taking action to harm them or anyone else. I cannot apologise for feeling hateful towards the people who purposefully and wilfully cause direct and severe harm to the elderly. I’m not sorry for feeling excitement about the potential of this thread not being helpful, because I hope and pray that peoples actions about my inspiration will be entirely helpful! dng

car10001 coronavirus nsw truck driver passes through nsw
  • replies: 1

Hi As you’s probably have heard about the truck drivers from nsw going to perth through sa and vic, apparently they stopped at a couple service stations at port augusta and ceduna. If cases pop up from there and state locks down what would be a way t... View more

Hi As you’s probably have heard about the truck drivers from nsw going to perth through sa and vic, apparently they stopped at a couple service stations at port augusta and ceduna. If cases pop up from there and state locks down what would be a way to get a exemption to have second accomodation and/or other workshop in different property to main one and go there and stay there unless leaving to go to there and back to primary residence or leaving for essentials. What’s likely chance of cases popping up from there and state locking down as found past and future lockdowns hard because am at age where am wanting to have own space even if part time stay to start off with own kitchen bathroom and lounge area and the primary residence only has about 500m2 yard and the aunt will likely stay there whole life time and what am doing to get it is as about as close as am going to get for quite a while and just trying to do what previous generations did and make do for now. Am single and only have one wage so it’ll be longer because usually it takes longer if on a single wage and you need 2 normal incomes or 1 really good income however if you don’t mind waiting longer it is possible on 1. Find past and future lockdowns hard because only current options for a proper shed and own space generally have to close and don’t yet have anything else and trying to make do with current options until the more ideal thing comes however long it takes. Am waiting until am able to buy as with cost of renting it’s nearly as much as buy plus with renting you’re limited to what you can do to place and with buying you’re not and you get to choose how it’s setup and choose colours and fittings and stuff, Normally the minimum is 10% for a deposit but 20% or more would be better and sometimes you can get away with 5% under certain conditions. What could be done to end future lockdowns or where could you quarantine seperate to rest of household in event that the house had to quarantine because yard is only about 500m2 and it isn’t big enough to put a tiny house or large van to live in where you’s be able to quarantine seperate or not be affected. Due to being happy living at primary residence currently just want to most importantly get the shed trouble sorted and part time stay sorted and have latest and new gear and paint and fit outs then do rest as am able to afford and the current home will still be primary one atleast for while Thanks

The_Bro FROM FEELING BROKEN TO BREAKING RECORDS
  • replies: 7

Gidday Everyone! Over the next two weeks on Channel 7, we are about to see some of the most inspiring feats you could imagine. I am talking of course about the ParaOlympics. I wonder what us mortal folk could learn about these amazing human beings? I... View more

Gidday Everyone! Over the next two weeks on Channel 7, we are about to see some of the most inspiring feats you could imagine. I am talking of course about the ParaOlympics. I wonder what us mortal folk could learn about these amazing human beings? I am sure she wouldn't mind but I was struck by what Para Cyclist Emily Petricola had to say in the media the other day. She ran a successful PR business, and noticed when she was 27, that she was falling off her high heels when walking around at work. After trying lower heels which didn't help, she also notices numbness in her body. Yes, she was diagnosed with MS. That day she said she lost a huge part of herself including her identity. Stuff started going wrong with her body every single day - falling over, dropping things etc. Somehow she had to regain confidence in her body to help her self belief. It took a while but a cycling friend was as surprised as she was to find that despite MS, she had natural ability on the bike. Fast forward to today and she now has multiple world titles on the track and is a ParaOlympics medal favourite! And a high school teacher. How good is that - doesn't that make your skin tingle! Just imagine the challenges she has and still faces every single day, and the strength she must have to keep her mind positive and focussed. I personally had a shoulder injury six years ago that stopped my kayak racing career in its tracks. I felt depressed for ages after my specialist told me 'no more kayak racing'. Yet here is Emily, with uncurable MS, saying 'In some ways MS has given me a ridiculous opportunity I would otherwise never have had!' Just thinking - could it be that it's up to each and everyone of us, regardless of our personal circumstance or challenges, to FIND THE GIFT we all must have? Can our brains and emotions be reset by adversity and trigger our next accomplishment? I hope that some of our forum members find the ParaOlympics and athletes as inspiring as I do over the next two weeks. Sorry to rave on a little bit but sometimes I can't help myself! Please feel very free to share your thoughts. Bye for now - The Bro

EfG2021 Act of kindness, care and compassion for the others for the day
  • replies: 1

Hello all, I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but i will give it a go. I thought some time ago about pushing myself to, at least, one act for which I feel kindness, care and compassion. I have been feeling better everytime I do somethi... View more

Hello all, I am not sure if this is the right place to post, but i will give it a go. I thought some time ago about pushing myself to, at least, one act for which I feel kindness, care and compassion. I have been feeling better everytime I do something and would like to share it, not for bragging about how good or mediocre I am, but because it makes me feel good and proud and that makes me move on. Anyway, open for your stories, this one is mine from yesterday at the supermarket: there was a lady yelling at the teller because some issue (didn't care too much for the issue itself) but it was really aggresive. I don't know why, but i just approached (this is in the self service area) and step in between both of them and ask the teller to calm and step back, then I turned around and just, with my hand and with no words, ask the lady to calm down (all in gestures). I don't even know what was driving me, but the lady just calmed and said thank you to me...it made my day and still don't know why was I doing it. thank you for reading it, by writing I am feeling better and calm today and looking forward for my next opportunity to show some kindess to the universe.