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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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nicko94 Advice for a poor financial situation + mental health issues.
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, Pretty much my major depressive disorder, generalised anxiety and ADHD all underpin this situation I am in and this situation affects me daily. I cant work because I work in construction and have no money...I haven't been shut down for 2... View more

Hi Everyone, Pretty much my major depressive disorder, generalised anxiety and ADHD all underpin this situation I am in and this situation affects me daily. I cant work because I work in construction and have no money...I haven't been shut down for 2 weeks but instead since the start of the latest lockdown in Melbourne (because we do renovations in peoples homes we cant go in) essentially haven't been working for months now. I also want to move out of home but I dont have any money saved up its impossible to save sometimes. I have a new job offer at the end of this week, but its in construction as well - I just don't know if they are going to keep me on (it was a verbal agreement until this shutdown is over) its my anxiety playing up, plus my bad luck in the past. - do you think they would stick to their word? Any ideas if i should stick it out a couple of days to see if i got this job, or give up in construction completely and go work in a different area for the next few years? I am so tired of trying to grind it out and stick with it especially with coronavirus and not having any funds to back myself up with... whos experienced similar? I am trying to get ahead and save but in this industry its totally effed now I don't see an end to these ongoing lockdowns within construction. thanks again.

blondguy Covid-19's Impact on YOUR well being....Help us help others!
  • replies: 253

Hi Everyone This is a difficult and unprecedented time we are all going through. Out of 10 how has Covid-19 impacted your well being? Just for myself...I come in at about 8....A brief post will help us help others more effectively! 0 to 5 .......... ... View more

Hi Everyone This is a difficult and unprecedented time we are all going through. Out of 10 how has Covid-19 impacted your well being? Just for myself...I come in at about 8....A brief post will help us help others more effectively! 0 to 5 .......... Low impact...................Coping well and not really worried about Covid-19 5 to 7 ...........Medium Impact.............Concerned about Covid-19 yet is doesnt effect me 8 ................. Frequent Impact........... Very concerned and checking media/news reports 9 ................. High Impact..................Frequently concerned and experience some difficulty functioning daily 10................Very High Impact...........Difficulty sleeping...increased anxiety...loss of concentration and/or feelings of helplessness The forums are a rock solid safe and non judgemental place for anyone to post my kind thoughts always Paul

Sunshine213 deteriorating mental health
  • replies: 4

I come from a family violence background, resulting in living in refuges, living on the streets or going from friend to friends places. I eventually got my own place and i was working at 17. I have always had a fear of not having money, over spending... View more

I come from a family violence background, resulting in living in refuges, living on the streets or going from friend to friends places. I eventually got my own place and i was working at 17. I have always had a fear of not having money, over spending because i hated it when i was younger and didn't have anything and it made me feel better inside. I always had constant worry and at times would put myself in debt. I recovered (so i thought) from this on my own, and fixed it by paying back my debts and fixed my credit history. 2011 i met my partner and abuse started, psychological at first. Then it turned psychical in 2015 an AVO was placed. I stayed with him until 2019 and finally left. Since 2015 i applied for a course and 2018 at UNI now resulting in a 30k hecs debt, - i didnt study at all or contact them both times due to domestic violence . i have not done my tax returns since 2016 because im scared of my hecs debt and my anxiety is off the roof. I also put myself in more financial debt while i was with him because i was scared that if i didn't have the money to fund things, he would bash me - he did not make me take out the loans nor did he know, i did this because i had constant worry. i now have 8k debt which i am slowly paying off. When covid hit, my work had a massive restructure and a lot of staff were made redundant. I had to work on a project which involved people losing their jobs and i had a massive panic attack so in November i got the covid 19 super release because was so scared i was going to lose my job. I didn't lose my job and now im scared of what the ATO may do to me because of this. I want to do my tax returns and also declare the super i withdrew and i am so scared of more debt and what is going to happen to me. I don't know why i do these stupid things and why i freak out in fear so much and then do the most stupid things. Im going on a mental health plan but i really do not know what to do or what is wrong with me. Has anyone done anything similar? What help can i get i really am a good person but i feel i keep self sabotaging myself financially and i feel so depressed.

est72 What is something genuinely insignificant that has been bothering you lately?
  • replies: 13

It could be anything: maybe someone you don't know too well has been more distant than usual or maybe you're growing concerned about something that you feel is simply a small health problem. Maybe you've just lost an object and you've been struggling... View more

It could be anything: maybe someone you don't know too well has been more distant than usual or maybe you're growing concerned about something that you feel is simply a small health problem. Maybe you've just lost an object and you've been struggling to find it for a while. Feel free to rant about something small that has been bugging you, even though it may feel unimportant in comparison to other struggles you or someone else has been dealing with lately without feeling bad for complaining about it.

white knight Supermarket shelves
  • replies: 16

We as humans have control over many things. And we have no control over other things. I can vividly recall words yelled at me as a child "Tony....have some patience". These words were justified in one sense..I'd woken up at 3am on Christmas day and o... View more

We as humans have control over many things. And we have no control over other things. I can vividly recall words yelled at me as a child "Tony....have some patience". These words were justified in one sense..I'd woken up at 3am on Christmas day and opened up all my presents and in the process woken up everyone else. My problem was, I didnt know how to find patience and for many years I was tormented by this. How do I find it? Do I develop it? Do I study for it? What I didnt know as a child and in early adulthood that anxiety had a lot to account for my lack of being able to wait. So anxious, Christmas morning early wake up was uncontrollable. No words aimed at my behaviour would have made any difference...medical intervention was the only way.Fast forward my later adult life and now I realise, being an anxious person I was going to hit a brick wall eventually be it marriage breakdown, work related conflict or other crisis.Those traumatic events were triggers that exploded my illness I didnt know I had What does this mean? We read almost daily someone we have compassion about,write about a situation they have found themselves in, say a work situation. This happened, then this, then that, leading to that happening. Often a situation of injustice in the mind of the confused who is the victim. So why did this person get involved in this particular situation of trauma and not someone else? I'm suggesting that in some situations of hype or disagreement, those with a mental illness might find themselves falling into such a conflict easier. Why? A lot of reasons depending on the individual. But those with a mental illness can have traits like sensitivity leading to over reaction, withholding anger due to abuse, less wise due to poor mental growth or enduring depression due to pride etc etc. Things like patience, tolerance, wit, etc do not arrive naturally in some of us and we will not develop these important qualities by just being told to get them. They are not purchasable on supermarket shelves. But some are obtainable. They can be developed by means of therapy, learning and maturity through aging. Aging gives up wisdom through experience, tolerance through acceptance learned from years of human gatherings. Wit is one that would be harder to achieve. So, if you find yourself in crisis after crisis, you think your life is full of bad luck and incidences. You might have an underlying illness. You are unlikely to find stability unless you get professional help. Tony WK

Chemical_Inbalance Anyone failed a drug test because of antidepressants
  • replies: 3

I am looking for new work and in the industries I have worked in a pre-employment medical and drug testing is very common. I got a bit of a history with depression and take medication as prescribed, no illicit substance issues. I applied for a job an... View more

I am looking for new work and in the industries I have worked in a pre-employment medical and drug testing is very common. I got a bit of a history with depression and take medication as prescribed, no illicit substance issues. I applied for a job and answered the very invasive medical questionnaire the employer had made honestly. They were initially very keen on me, even trying to get me into a team lead role. l but now have gone quiet after the medical. I of course can't prove anything and not care to to be honest... But what's my best action going forward. Taper off the meds and lie during future medicals? Has anyone not declared you are on an antidepressant and had it picked up on and questioned during a medical? I figure it's a risk but can't find an instance of this happening. Just looking to try and have a happy life like everyone else, find some decent work and not have depression make everything else about life worse than it needs to be.

white knight DNA what you cant change
  • replies: 13

We often get members here that seek change. Maybe they dont like themselves. Maybe they are told by someone they are useless. Maybe they dont fit in? So sooner or later we try to change but how much of us is changable?. If we know what is changable w... View more

We often get members here that seek change. Maybe they dont like themselves. Maybe they are told by someone they are useless. Maybe they dont fit in? So sooner or later we try to change but how much of us is changable?. If we know what is changable we'd concentrate on that and not waste our time on the other stuff -correct? Some athletes or rulers say "you can do anything you put your mind to". Its great to be positive but not healthy to be unrealistic. I was 92 kg at 17yo. I think I'd be disappointed if my goal was to be a jockey. So here is my take on that- Changable to an achievable level - some mental illnesses like mild anxiety - traits like punctuality, over reaction, dishonesty, criminal intent, nastiness, lifestyle, addictions, goals and challenges, negative to positive thinking, stopping intrusive thoughts. Fitness, eating habits. Personality changes that take a long time with great effort - worry, depression, anger, some drug addictions, alcoholism, narcissism, effect of cults, violence, hoarding, deceipt, denial, commitment, cruelty to animals, grandeur, greed, reactions, foot in mouth, careers, commitment, DNA rarely if ever changable - vulnerability, some serious mental illnesses like autism, BPD, bipolar, schizophrenia..., humour, observations, sensitivity, emotions, physical abilities, natural talents, kindness, grief processes, So, if we are bipolar we'd be wasting our time and energy roaming the world finding a cure. Better to seek out up to date medical treatment to reduce the symptoms as well as assistance from others, group therapy and peer groups like here on this forum. With DNA areas we must find acceptance by making that our goal. Time and again I read about "I've had it with this bipolar" yet it isnt curable. Thats ok if its just venting but as a person with bipolar that has tried for many years to accept my illness and to achieve my goal of being as well and as stable as possible with this disorder...Im pleased because I also know that improvement beyond this is unlikely. There are limits to what we can achieve. DNA. Its inground in our makeup. Its our nature. Google Topic: the frog and the scorpion- beyondblue Topic: 30 minutes can change your life- beyondblue Tony WK

white knight Compartmentalizing your time
  • replies: 12

We often talk about acceptance of our illness, as being part of ourselves. This acceptance once accomplished, is a huge step forward in our recovery towards existing in a society that for us is challenging. I've found that carrying out procedures lik... View more

We often talk about acceptance of our illness, as being part of ourselves. This acceptance once accomplished, is a huge step forward in our recovery towards existing in a society that for us is challenging. I've found that carrying out procedures like meditation, muscle transitioning exercises, mindfulness, and the like used to be carried out on a needs basis. If under stress- do some deep breathing, my heart rate is high- do some muscle sanctioning exercises and so on. But there is a problem...that is a needs based routine, a little like bandaging a cut rather than preventing the injury in the first place. I've found it is of great advantage to put in place a routine of these techniques as a preventative rather than a remedy. As an example my muscle mentioning exercises have been a nighty ritual for several years now. Just prior to sleep I tension up each set of muscles for 15 seconds. The bonus is I fall to sleep easily, the prevention is that it assists in preventing a racing heart and anxiety. So, try introducing routine processes into your daily schedule. No different to those who regulate their time for religious prayers or hobbies or study. Preventative measures for our illness demands the same time allocation. Do you have set times for relaxation etc? TonyWK

white knight Loneliness- a remedy of mind
  • replies: 8

Loneliness is a worse feeling than what some people know. For those not lonely we can think- “just join a club”. But what is the heart of the problem? All of us at some point feel sorry for ourselves for what we haven’t got- in this case the company ... View more

Loneliness is a worse feeling than what some people know. For those not lonely we can think- “just join a club”. But what is the heart of the problem? All of us at some point feel sorry for ourselves for what we haven’t got- in this case the company of friends, a loving partner or family. What we can do is “switch our mindset” to turn that manner of thinking on its head. How? Well, instead of thinking what you have missing in your life, think about what you have. Its spelt out in Ralph Mctells song Streets of London. The lyrics are not meant to ridicule but to highlight what might not be obvious to us, the beauty of the world. We see a bland horizon but dismiss the wattle bird gathering nectar, we think about our money problems that we can’t pay for entertainment but mind fog stops us from finding joy in the sun rising. Loneliness can remain even in marriage. A life of appreciation is a life of calm. When we appreciate what we have and not focus on what is missing- then we can no longer feel lonely or deprived. Rich people can be unhappy. A homeless person can be rich but denied money. As the song “Streets of London” says “carrying her home in two carrier bags” or “lying on yesterday’s paper carrying yesterday’s news”. There is poverty out there, untreated mental illness and sadness. So if you are lonely open your possibilities. Yes try searching for groups and like minded people for company however, inner peace is an internal change that will be your ultimate fulfilment and that comes from a change of mindset. google to read more beyondblue topic switching mindsets beyondblue topic inner peace the glory of being YOU Beyondblue topic the balance of your life beyondblue topic want to be a hermit? beyondblue topic Ostracised-who’s fault is it? youtube Prem Rawat the perfect instrument TonyWK

The_Bro DOES WHAT YOU ARE DOING SUIT THE REAL YOU?
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone I was talking to a friend this morning about a certain comment I had made earlier, when he said 'Yes but that's not the real you". That and the subsequent conversation got me thinking about a course I did years ago, by a company that want... View more

Hi Everyone I was talking to a friend this morning about a certain comment I had made earlier, when he said 'Yes but that's not the real you". That and the subsequent conversation got me thinking about a course I did years ago, by a company that wanted all its employees to be on the same page so the speak, with values aligned as closely as possible. So what is a value? We ended up agreeing that it is a principle or standard of behaviour, and judging what's important in life. I often refer to the term "Moral compass", that is how our thoughts and morals help to guide us through life. They are an intrinsic part of you that reveal what you do and how you do it. Once you form a set of values, they kind of become what you stand for. When you don't stick to your values it can feel a little weird and you will probably reflect on that later. Someone may even pull you up on it like my friend did at the start of this post! If you don't get on with someone and are always clashing, it normally comes down to a clash of values. Recognising that can be useful in understanding what's going on with the relationship issues. So I really feel that deciding on personal values is quite important, and letting them guide you through life. Some examples of values may include honesty, openness, caring for the environment, being positive, being a role model to kids, being a good listener and so on. Just wondering, has anyone thought much about what their personal values might be, and tried sticking to them? Or found it difficult to do so? I look forward to hearing what you think! Regards, The Bro