Staying well

Tips on frugal living (for the financially struggling)

replies: 29

Hi everyone, So I thought it would be helpful for anyone who (like me) is financially struggling to share tips and tricks on how to make a dollar stretch that much further. I was inspired by Dizzy and her wonderful advice on anther thread. Here are m... View more

Hi everyone, So I thought it would be helpful for anyone who (like me) is financially struggling to share tips and tricks on how to make a dollar stretch that much further. I was inspired by Dizzy and her wonderful advice on anther thread. Here are mine: 1. Do the bulk of your shopping at Aldi (it's a LOT cheaper than Woolworths or Coles for the most part). 2. Wait till the afternoon/late evening to stock up on bread at supermarkets as the prices are often heavily slashed. 3. Your freezer is your best friend to keep cheap/discounted groceries that you buy in bulk. 4. Plan your meals to save money and avoid waste. 5. I understand that obviously you can't always do this but (& always check with your doctor/pharmacist first) see if you can ask for the generic brand of meds. 6. If you live with other people, you will probably eat better if you all chip in. 7. Markets and op shops are great for updating your wardrobe. 8. If you live in an inner city suburb, see if there's a not-for-profit local food co-op to get really cheap veggies and fruit. 7. If you're a bit of a TV junkie, Netflix is a lot cheaper than Foxtel. 8. Many (phone) service providers offer $10-$12 vouchers for cinema movie tickets. Use those to save at the cinemas. 9. Candy bars at the cinemas are notoriously expensive. Buy your snacks from a supermarket. phew...that's all I have for now. I WOULD love to hear your tips! Thanks in advance! Dottie x

Finding your inner calm

replies: 4

Hi everyone, I came across this beautiful quote today that I thought would be nice to share with you all in this thread The ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength is how calm you are when facing any given situation. Calmness is indeed a super p... View more

Hi everyone, I came across this beautiful quote today that I thought would be nice to share with you all in this thread The ultimate measure of your wisdom and strength is how calm you are when facing any given situation. Calmness is indeed a super power. The ability to not overreact or take things personally keeps your mind clear and your heart at peace, which instantly gives you the upper hand. I believe also when we experience anxiety we can choose to try to stay calm through this and just simply practice following or breath or taking deeper longer breaths. By doing this the anxiety won’t escalate and in turn you can find your inner calm with practice. Remember your breath is always there use it as your anchor.

House, or Home? The usefulness of comfort or chaos...

replies: 1

The place I emotionally think of as home is being renovated, and it’s been looking like a warehouse for the best part of a year now (though there are still rooms with beds and tvs that are mostly functional, though cluttered.) I’m lucky that I have s... View more

The place I emotionally think of as home is being renovated, and it’s been looking like a warehouse for the best part of a year now (though there are still rooms with beds and tvs that are mostly functional, though cluttered.) I’m lucky that I have somewhere else to go. That hasn’t always been the case, so my gratefulness for the option is steeped in vivid awareness of other modes of living. However, my somewhere else to go has things about it that have me holding my breath at times too, which means I can’t entirely relax continuously in either place, and am darting between them, trying to catch the best times of day and phases of my moods that will best utilize what they have to offer. It’s exhausting, but also motivating on some days, as keeping myself busy and moving rather than nestled in a dark room binging shows can sometimes be helpful (though sometimes the distraction and nurturing of escaping activity is entirely appropriate too.) The exhausting part, is the disorienting sense of trying to feel like I'm arriving home, when I walk in the door. Somehow both places are home, which also means neither of them are. I'm reminded of children of divorce I've witnessed who, without fail, severely misbehave immediately on the first day that they arrive at their "other home" (no matter which one it is); a sign that they are unsettled and having trouble to adjusting to the leaving of their home and trying to think of the new location as home once again. A motherly lady I respect that I was discussing this with once, commented that the first day should have no heavy expectations, and be a day of unpacking, talking, hugging, getting reacquainted, and just settling in. I find myself trying to apply this concept to my current situation, though it has to be a shorter transition since I'm moving around every day, but instead I look for little ceremonies like unpacking whatever I'm lugging back and forth, putting away groceries, and making the bed where I'm going to sleep. I've been through times like this before but this time there are less places to escape to if I want to ditch both realities because of what's going on in the world now. I am starkly aware right now of the way so many little possessions and comforts (which also represent options for activity) make up the difference between a house and a home. I think there is a stigma on valuing material things that makes this seem like ones values are shallow, but these can make or break mental health at times.

What has helped me with anxiety?

replies: 2

Hi Everyone, When anxiety strikes things can feel out of control within ourselves I understand. I just wanted to list a few things that have helped me in the moment when anxiety strikes. Try not to put your attention on what has caused you the anxiet... View more

Hi Everyone, When anxiety strikes things can feel out of control within ourselves I understand. I just wanted to list a few things that have helped me in the moment when anxiety strikes. Try not to put your attention on what has caused you the anxiety instead redirect your attention to the present moment. Follow your breathe use it as your anchor when your attention wonders from your breathe redirect it back to your breath, this will ground you in the moment. Take long slow deep breathes. Thoughts (in my experience with anxiety my anxiety can start to escalate due to my thoughts)... try not to question your thoughts or add to the thought, I have found that this will only escalate the anxiety. We can experience the first thought but the trick is to notice this and then redirect your attention to something in the present moment and not on the thought, this way it stops the process of escalation. ( It takes practice). "What we give attention to we give power to". Try to just allow your thoughts to come and go, we can learn to be the watcher of our thoughts without getting caught up in them. With practice we can all learn to choose our reactions to certain situations (including thoughts), in turn if we can learn to choose our reactions then this can either escalate your anxiety or decrease it. All this takes practice Please add any more that has helped that you can think of.

Are you a morning person?

replies: 12

Hey all! Wanted to start another thread to encourage people to share great tips and experiences with each other, specifically about waking up in the morning. I've never considered myself a morning person (quite the opposite), so I'd like to pose a qu... View more

Hey all! Wanted to start another thread to encourage people to share great tips and experiences with each other, specifically about waking up in the morning. I've never considered myself a morning person (quite the opposite), so I'd like to pose a question to anyone who loves mornings or thrives in the mornings, what's your go-to routine? Is there anything that you can't go without doing when you start the day, or anything that you absolutely swear by? For some people, I know that spending time and effort on skincare is of the utmost importance, or making a hearty breakfast, or going for a walk/exercising, etc. I'd love to hear people's experiences. What are your morning secrets that set the tone for a fantastic day? SB

Bucket list, please share!

replies: 4

Do you have a bucket list? Would you like one? What would you put in your bucket list? Hoping for LOTS of positive chats about people's dreams and steps to making them happen.

Loneliness- a remedy of mind, ideas

replies: 4

This time of year seems to raise the topic of loneliness more often than other times. For whatever the reason for feeling lonely, it is a state of being that leaves us with the problem all by ourselves. It's a bit like patience, we cant buy it nor bo... View more

This time of year seems to raise the topic of loneliness more often than other times. For whatever the reason for feeling lonely, it is a state of being that leaves us with the problem all by ourselves. It's a bit like patience, we cant buy it nor borrow it from others so loneliness, the remedy, can elude us. I did mention a number of key issues on this topic here- https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/loneliness--a-remedy-of-mind The main thrust of that post was to focus on what you have not what you dont have. In other words, you might well be lonely and that can be a sad place to exist, but you are breathing and hopefully warm, sheltered and have food. Ok, so that's one way to cope and improve your mental state about your lonely existence. What we cant ignore though is the adage of conventional remedies most people seek out with this problem- lets look at those and analyse. Clubs. Men's shed have been around for a long time. I wont attend any, why not? My individual needs includes not being obliged to finish off a project if I'm unwell. I'm also reactive to those with a bossy demeanour. Finally, my charity work is covered in this forum. For many men though the Mens Shed is a fabulous place to be with comradery and sense of purpose. Females have their specific clubs also. My wife in our old town attended a sewing group. Our most recent hobby is slot cars. We have the option of racing them of watching others do so. Clubs are "hit and miss" affairs. Dont give up, try another. Computer groups. I'm in several Facebook groups. Some people shy away from Facebook but I learned a long time ago that FB is great unless you fail to control your own site, the people you allow to use it and other features you might ignore. So the ideal limitations are- limit the number of friends (40-100), allow your posts only to extend to "friends" not public and immediately block incompatible/toxic people. The latter become quite automatic after a while. The benefits of FB is uploading photos to family and friends and ease of keeping abreast of developments as well as news and special interests Get a dog and make sure its a cute one (or two, they play well together). You'll be amazed at how many people talk to you and friendships flourish over a common interest. Join a dog club. We have a mini foxy, adorable. If I was single I'd buy another one. Does anyone else have ideas to remedy loneliness? TonyWK

Autism diagnosis

replies: 4

Hi everyone. I've posted a bit here in the past but drifted away I am in a struggling marriage, I constantly think about leaving. that's always the subtext for me, and the thing on my mind I found a service that I thought might give me an autism diag... View more

Hi everyone. I've posted a bit here in the past but drifted away I am in a struggling marriage, I constantly think about leaving. that's always the subtext for me, and the thing on my mind I found a service that I thought might give me an autism diagnosis and did a first interview. I talked about an incorrect schizophrenia diagnosis from my teens, and my abusive childhood. The woman told me they think I have a type b personality disorder. That's things like narcissism or borderline. My son has diagnoses of borderline and autism, making them not mutually exclusive. I'm just left feeling that something that has helped me understand myself has been taken away, and I've been told I am something that seems quite toxic to me. I'm not sure what to do or where to go?

Mental health Apps?

replies: 6

Hi All, looking for recommendations on any good mental health apps. Im struggling with motivation because of my depression so any suggestions are welcome

I don’t really know what is wrong with me

replies: 4

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I know that whatever i have going on with myself is not healthy. I overthink every little thing in my life. I hate myself. I have so much anxiety about my future and the pressure that my family has on me isn’t help... View more

I don’t know what is wrong with me. I know that whatever i have going on with myself is not healthy. I overthink every little thing in my life. I hate myself. I have so much anxiety about my future and the pressure that my family has on me isn’t helping at all. I actually don’t even know if its the pressure i put on myself overthinking or its actually real. There is moments where my heart feels like its in my throat and I can’t swallow. I have this sinking feeling that everything will go to shit. I think everyone hates me. Every time things go wrong i don’t know why i want to harm myself. I am such a people pleaser and i hate that. How do i know what is wrong with me.? I have so many things going on and all i feel is uncertainty and stress. I just wish I didn’t exist. I am writing this because my hands my mind just feels so weird. I cried a little before this. I had a few important things to do today and i’ve been anxious the whole day. I just feel so weird so sad so out of place i wish things were better but i never do anything to make it better i only like to sleep and sit on my bed why is life so exhausting what is wrong with me?

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