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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Covid19 - the positive side
  • replies: 0

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this t... View more

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this thread is the underlying positives of the pandemic and the changes to us that has been forced upon us. Let's go back to the 20th century. If you lived the whole century you would have experienced a pandemic, around 1933. Several flus like the Spanish flu that was very serious. Then of course there was WW1,WW2, Korean war, Vietnam war and wars in the middle east. Droughts, bush fires and one scar that etched itself forever in those that lived through it- the Great Depression. Life without food! In comparison the current pandemic has some modern assistance to make us feel not so alone... social media, forums, the smart telephone, skype, facetime and so on. Not to mention supermarket purchases unaffected. However, if one jailed prisoner has a TV, wifi, computer games etc and another has no such comforts, they are both jailed, they are both robbed of their freedom. Likewise even though we have our comforts we are still in lockdown or under threat. That makes it hard for many people. I knew an old man that said to me "the only good thing about wars is that they wake society up from where it sleeps". Meaning we get so comfortable we dont ever think a wake up call will come like the pandemic or a war. Therein lies the positive- that we are "woken up" and we'll tell our children or grand children one day about this pandemic like my father told me about the Great Depression. There is an argument that only when we struggle (financially, isolation, restrictions, lack of work etc ) do we then appreciate what we have and how wonderful life is when we recover. That is like those two prisoners- both will appreciate freedom when it comes around. Freedom is similar- you only really appreciate it until you are imprisoned and its taken away. You only appreciate life pandemic free when we all conquer Covid19. With full immunisation eminent we WILL overcome this disease and hold within us an appreciation of what life we have without facemasks and travel restrictions. That's the positive. Hold onto that. We will be stronger and more appreciative. Can you think positive about our challenges what ever they be? TonyWK

white knight Ugly? What is beauty?
  • replies: 6

Vanity is a dirty word!. Seems I'm endlessly seeing my lovely wife and her mother (that lived with us for a time) staring into the mirror trying to improve their beauty. Of course being a male many of us men don't worry about that. Why? Well partiall... View more

Vanity is a dirty word!. Seems I'm endlessly seeing my lovely wife and her mother (that lived with us for a time) staring into the mirror trying to improve their beauty. Of course being a male many of us men don't worry about that. Why? Well partially its an attitude of - I am who I am and also its what's inside that counts. What is "beauty"?. Unfortunately in our modern powder slapping lipstick painting society that is subjective. It's a pity "beauty" was judged on level of kindness to others and other living things. By and large it isn't. Being a man I've worked and lied with men all my life especially in the Defence force days. I know what they (and me) looked for in a lady when young, sexy coke bottle shaped figure, hair you wanted to run your fingers through and of course it was even better if they lusted for you. A dream come true. How 90% unrealistic! Once I hit 40yo I had a totally different view on what beauty was. Beauty then included- compatibility eg she had to have the same sensitivity as me towards animals and kind people also people in need. So, what of our young adults that find their appearance challenging as they compare themselves to the Kardashians of today? I feel very sorry for them because somewhere along the way of growing up they havent acknowledged the above. We cannot simply blame parents, the teenagers world is influenced by peers at school, comparisons or criticisms. School environments can be a terribly nasty place to exist. One short nasty comment from a cruel male or female can tumble a young girls confidence down a hill. We must counter that as individuals and as a society. Thankfully bullying is a dwindling occurrence as its been tackled vigorously in the last 15 years. A message to all people young and not so young - YOU ARE AS BEAUTIFUL AS ANY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET. You must work towards that thought and belief. You are unique, one of a kind that has quality characteristics you can build on to make a difference to this world. Imagine you are walking along a footpath and spot a injured bird. You kneel, you pick that bird up and stroke its neck. His eyes lock onto yours as his eyelids slowly close forever. You take him home and bury him is your back yard. Would you realise that your beauty right there, for that bird was the last thing he saw alive? That is a magical experience that no one else had done to that bird in amongst 8 billion humans? Beauty- its on the inside. TonyWK

AG_ I don't believe I deserve to be happy
  • replies: 6

Whenever I go to do something fun or something that will make me happy, I don't do it because I don't believe that I deserve to feel happiness. AAm I being stupid or does anyone else feel like this.

Whenever I go to do something fun or something that will make me happy, I don't do it because I don't believe that I deserve to feel happiness. AAm I being stupid or does anyone else feel like this.

SapereAude Occupational Health & Safety (OHS)
  • replies: 7

Occupational Health & Safety (OHS) The current pandemic has caused me to give greater thought to occupational health and safety as more of us return to work and education. A few people I have been chatting with have expressed feelings of anxiety over... View more

Occupational Health & Safety (OHS) The current pandemic has caused me to give greater thought to occupational health and safety as more of us return to work and education. A few people I have been chatting with have expressed feelings of anxiety over returning to work and how they can feel that their return to work is safe and noneventful. Whilst not Covid-19 specific, workplaces can both cause and assist mental health issues, including anxiety. Noting that legislation is different between states, a good starting point is Safework Australia. It also includes links to the different states and territories information. I’m in Victoria. Firstly, I would like to see a direct section addressing mental health in our occupational health and safety laws. What are you thoughts?

white knight Reboot your brain
  • replies: 16

Well, isn't that what we do to a computer when it freezes up? There is therapies and other medical procedures that reboots a brain in order for it to reset. But you as an individual has some limited hidden inner ability to reset your thinking process... View more

Well, isn't that what we do to a computer when it freezes up? There is therapies and other medical procedures that reboots a brain in order for it to reset. But you as an individual has some limited hidden inner ability to reset your thinking processes. To do this you need to feed your brain the right diet of information. Several times in my life when I've been confused (usually with people's comments or actions) I've flooded my life with basics. It could be seen as a form of brain washing, of good things, basic topics to spare us if life's complexities that lead us to our state of suicidal thoughts and/or self harm. So in my case I utilise YouTube videos- one or two a day. Music can be a parts if this. So try listening to - Google YouTube maharaji sunset YouTube maharaji the perfect instrument YouTube maharaji appreciate He has dozens more. An incredible man that teaches worldwide and has done so since 9yo. Comment here as you please on how you progress in rebooting your brain. Back to basics. TonyWK

SapereAude Mental Health and Personal Finance in 2020
  • replies: 9

Hi everyone, I hope you are all going along okay, despite the extra challenges that 2020 has presented us with. What I'd like to chat about is mental health and the impact it has on personal finance (and vice versa). Have you found ties between menta... View more

Hi everyone, I hope you are all going along okay, despite the extra challenges that 2020 has presented us with. What I'd like to chat about is mental health and the impact it has on personal finance (and vice versa). Have you found ties between mental health and money? What things work for you moneywise that make you feel better? What things don't work so well financially? Are there links between your wellbeing, money, employability and social life? Care to discuss. Take care.

Newbie25 I think I might have an eating disorder????
  • replies: 7

I don't know how to explain this. For the past few years I've felt bad about my body despite being a healthy weight. I know that I am healthy, but I still want to lose weight for some reason. In the past I've tried to exercise more and eat more healt... View more

I don't know how to explain this. For the past few years I've felt bad about my body despite being a healthy weight. I know that I am healthy, but I still want to lose weight for some reason. In the past I've tried to exercise more and eat more healthy, and this year I've actually continued to go through with this. I told myself and my family that it was just me trying to be healthy, but people are starting to tell me I've lost weight and I feel that I am starting to get more and more out of control. I'm definitely a perfectionist which is why I don't feel like I can tell anyone I know how I'm feeling. I feel that they will just judge me. There's a part of me that knows that I am healthy and that it's healthy to eat better and exercise more, but then I also feel that this is how many eating disorders start. I'm starting to feel guilty when I don't go for a run everyday and when I have dessert or a treat that isn't super healthy. My weight has always been quite constant no matter my lifestyle so I feel that I'm not going to suddenly loose too much weight to really be unhealthy. I guess I'm just starting to get more worried as I missed my period for the first time in 5 years last month. I've got it back and I don't know if this is a normal thing to happen, but it's certainly not normal to me. My school is really great, and there are definitely school counselors I can talk to about this, but I'm just scared that talking to someone means admitting that I might have a problem. I don't think it's really that serious at the moment but I'm really scared that I won't know where/how to stop. I don't want to make a big deal out of nothing though. I don't know what to do.

DancingInTheStorm Morning Ritual
  • replies: 3

I used to be a morning person. Could just roll out of bed and was chirpy and awake. ever since I revealed trauma I experienced when I was 17 recenmtly (Iam now 32), I am always in a daze. What works for you in the morning? do you have a morning ritua... View more

I used to be a morning person. Could just roll out of bed and was chirpy and awake. ever since I revealed trauma I experienced when I was 17 recenmtly (Iam now 32), I am always in a daze. What works for you in the morning? do you have a morning ritual to wake up and say hello to the day ahead? I have great professional and personal supports in place thankfully, but that doesn't help in terms of waking up.

white knight Steps to blending into normality
  • replies: 4

I've decided this week to embark upon my last stage of my own development to blending into normality. More on that later. The baby steps taken from 2009 onwards has been only remarkable in that I have insight hence I'm one of "the lucky ones". Identi... View more

I've decided this week to embark upon my last stage of my own development to blending into normality. More on that later. The baby steps taken from 2009 onwards has been only remarkable in that I have insight hence I'm one of "the lucky ones". Identifying there is a possible mental illness GP visit followed by his/her referrals Taking and tweeking medications Ongoing therapy Life changes like environment, career, choices of friends and family Period of stability Coping strategies. My coping strategies up till now and beyond include e.g. if stressed in a shopping complex I'll inform my wife I'm going for a walk. I'll lower anxiety and risk of any bipolar fuming going on. This week I've decided to take the next step- to tolerate the stress, inform my wife that I'm going through some stress and am uncomfortable (I call it an "episode") but in the future my plan is to not walk off but to remain nearby and "tune out" which will involve the following- My wife to not react to my frustrations For me to mentally distract myself To deep breathe Be opportunistic The last one is most interesting. An asset I have is a sense of humor. Recently while my wife browsed the underwear section I was getting stressed (the only male swarmed by ladies holding bras!). Then I had a fleeting thought- wouldn't bras make great slingshots. I laughed to myself and so did my wife once I told her. I realised my stress level lowered. Some observers have told me over the years "you should lighten up". Rather than get angry at that I'll take it on board and see if I can introduce humor in my own treatment of stress. What do you think? TonyWK

Ronoc Ice addiction
  • replies: 2

I tried it just before I turned 18, had used other drugs never really went out of control, was a daily weed smoker. Wanted to try it to see what it felt like thought I could just do it once for an expirense as soon as I did it I knew I was gonna do i... View more

I tried it just before I turned 18, had used other drugs never really went out of control, was a daily weed smoker. Wanted to try it to see what it felt like thought I could just do it once for an expirense as soon as I did it I knew I was gonna do it again but didn't know how bad it was going to get did it here and there for about 6 months then every weekend or 2nd weekend for about 2 months then next thing I know I'm using it everyday for about 6 months it started after a weekend on it and still had a lot left on Sunday and had work Monday used it before work because was so tired from the weekend then used it after work cause was tired after work and wanted to relax I would sleep every 2 or 3rd night sometimes I would sleep after sleeping the previous night after using I was that tired took its toll on me deffently affected my work. My parents had absolutely no idea that I was using this drug everyday in there house. If I didn't have any I could barley work I just walk around dragging my feet just trying to get thru the day ended up not showing up to work because I just wanted to use the drug In stead of goin to work. Quit my job cause I couldn't be bothered working anymore still used alot spent about 10 grand I'd say within these 6 months maybe even more when I ran out of money I had to stop using as much and I realised that I actually had a problem I spent all money that I had saved the past 2 years still found ways to get on it abit had a pre good break using maybe once or twice a month for a few months. Got a new job and started to use quite abit again cause I had money again. Then I realised that I really need to change what I was doing cause i I didn't want to be doing this all my life. Told my parents that I had been using they completely understood and helped me I went about 4 months without using then thought I could just have it one time and stared using pretty much every weekend. This relapse was only about a month and a half ago I can feel it getting bad again I have used the past 6 days. That's all that led up to this moment of me writing this. I don't know who to talk to I don't feel like I cant talk to my friend's about anything they all know I use, none of them use. I keep telling myself that I gotta stop but keep doing it. I'm afraid of what's goin to happen to me in the future if I keep going down this path. I don't wanna loose my friends because I keep using and they start to think that I don't care about them or anything else