Immediate support
Immediate support

Staying well

Support each other to stay well, from mindfulness, sleep, diet and exercise to reducing drug and alcohol use and coping with difficult emotions.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

Start a discussion

_the_mandalorian_ Need something in the medium term to look forward
  • replies: 2

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbi... View more

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbies like reading, reformer pilates (I'm becoming an instructor), watching some live sports I do a lot of self care like meditation I have a few friends that I see regularly Pre covid I did a reasonable amount of travel, even got a job overseas I don't have a girlfriend/wife and/or family. But my siblings and my parents live nearby It was a LOT of effort (and lots of reading) but I can manage anxiety/life reasonably well My life is pretty stable. I have had (IMHO) bad experiences in the past with relationships where it wasn't really even. People see me and they think I am extremely fortunate. Because of that I get ignored a lot. Or even worse they think they can throw their problems at me (this is an extreme simplification BTW I could probably write a book on these experiences). Even now I have really cut myself back to only messaging 2 of my friends and my mum and sister. Everyone else had just moved on with their life. No falling out or anything they just have other priorities. %90 of the time I am by myself just doing things by myself. And most of the time it is ok. I chose it, I own it. I'm in a process of changing how I look at the world. Everything is just flat. The normal things that lots of people feel good about I feel nothing. It is fine, amor fate (love of ones fate). What I really is something to work towards but I have no idea what that is? I mean paying off my mortgage in my early 40s is good I guess but what else. Post covid I'll probably take myself on a big vacation in Europe (by myself of course). Career wise the only place up the ladder is to get into leadership/management which doesn't interest me. I just need something to get excited about that I can do myself.

Summer Rose Share your “Naomi Osaka” moment
  • replies: 8

Greetings! I’m not much of a tennis fan but something remarkable happened in the sport this week. Superstar player, Naomi Osaka, decided to withdraw from the French Open rather than participate in mandatory post-match media conferences. This brave wo... View more

Greetings! I’m not much of a tennis fan but something remarkable happened in the sport this week. Superstar player, Naomi Osaka, decided to withdraw from the French Open rather than participate in mandatory post-match media conferences. This brave woman described her action as an expression of self-care, designed to protect her mental health. It’s been reported that she experiences both anxiety and depression. This could be a watershed moment for raising awareness of both the prevalence and impact of mental health conditions in sport. It could lead to real change. And it really raised my hopes for a better, kinder future. We may not all be superstars but many of us have drawn our own lines in the sand to protect ourselves, raise awareness and bring about positive change in the mental health space. For me, it was a push for change at my daughter’s school to ensure all students with mental health conditions had access to Individual Learning Plans. After years of discussion, I finally got the administrators’ attention with a discrimination complaint to bring about the change—and it worked. What change have you worked to bring about at home, work, school or local community setting? How did you do it? Why do you think it succeeded? Or, why do you think it faltered? Perhaps by sharing our stories, we can help each improve the experience of people with mental health conditions wherever they live, whatever the issue. Kind thoughts to all

white knight Survival- guarantee it!
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, One of Beyond blue's main focus is preventing suicide along with coping strategies for depression, anxiety and a whole raft of other mental illnesses. A good percentage of members threads is commenced due to desperation from suicidal tho... View more

Hi everyone, One of Beyond blue's main focus is preventing suicide along with coping strategies for depression, anxiety and a whole raft of other mental illnesses. A good percentage of members threads is commenced due to desperation from suicidal thoughts. We members and Community Champions chat and offer strategies to help quell the problem. If that problem persists then it can lead to some terrible outcomes so the topic is an important one. If you've tried strategies of a relative minor nature of change and the affect isnt enough to turn the tide, then more radical methods will be needed. How far will you go to reach the point that you are convinced it is guaranteed suicide will not be tempting? Let's list the major factors that make up major changes (radical) to our lives- Family structure. Major distancing from toxic family or friends. We have a good many people here that have depression that is indirectly or directly caused by their spouse/step children/in-laws/friends. One problem here is that it seems a modern day phenomenon that young adults wont move away or discontinue their toxic friendships because "they're my friends". A contradiction sure but its one to be aware of for good mental health. Similar to long term marriage where 20 or more years and regardless of the toxicity, they refuse to separate. The problem gets worse as time goes by. Change of employment. We all have our comfort zones but there is a lot of bad workplaces out there. You can choose to make the workplace better less toxic by a positive attitude and ignore the trouble makers. Not easy though. It doesnt hurt to keep looking for a better employer Change of profession. Not easy for many but in the security profession we had a lot of choices like retail, static, roaming and investigations. All were different in working conditions. Some like security were filled with bored employees that fed a toxic workplace. Change of environment. How many of you would be willing to move interstate? Bare in mind that if you moved one or two suburbs away from say a bad neighbour or too close to family, then you are likely to bump into them only once a year, say pleasantries and move on. Moving interstate could be a extreme act causing you more harm than good. Spiritual change. Regardless of your beliefs you could search around for other methods to reduce your anxiety. Yoga, group therapy, a monthly visit to the beach and so on. How much change have you introduced to survive life? TonyWK

white knight To stay or to leave?
  • replies: 2

Such a decision is for you and you alone but how do you come to a decision that allows you to have peace in such a life changing process? There is no hard and fast rules. However, some of us with major relationship issues tend to allow, as an example... View more

Such a decision is for you and you alone but how do you come to a decision that allows you to have peace in such a life changing process? There is no hard and fast rules. However, some of us with major relationship issues tend to allow, as an example, abuse to continue one and on and we do not act on it, we weather it. Or our partner has an affair and we forgive him/her, which is your right, then it happens again and again. Some people will allow it to go on- as the alternative- separation is worse to bare. Where is the benchmark to take action? Often people in such distress seek other peoples opinions by telling them in confidence what they are putting up with. This disclosure will receive opinion based on what that person believe sis what "they would do" in a similar situation. But is it unbiased? A girlfriend of a lady in a abusive relationship might well be biased especially if she doesnt like her friends husband, a single man best mates with a husband that is married to a woman that is having affairs can paint a rosy life as a single guy and so on. My point being - confiding in friends is ok for company, for a general opinion, but it is not necessarily a fine way to base any action on. It is comforting only and that is the extent of the benefit. The next step is professional comfort by means of relationship counseling. This step can be daunting at first and disappointing that you have resorted to "help". This first step should include an invitation to your spouse to join you in "fine tuning" your relationship (rather than - "we need help to save our marriage"). This request can be met with a "no" response. What now? How can you mend a broken marriage without counseling together? What you do is go to counseling yourself. But there should be one condition to yourself- if your spouse does not wan tto attend counseling then there is not privilege to the details of such counseling. If he'she asks what happened the answer can be "Well you chose not to come so if you want to help me out can you come next time". If you then disclose what was said at you previous meetings then you risk your spouse pulling out of going altogether as it might seem he wont be given a fair hearing. Every potential relationship split is unique in circumstances, install your own boundaries of behaviour, trust yourself in what you want in life and introduce counseling. Be fair, firm, reasonable, realistic, flexible, determined and self protective. Then make your decision. TonyWK

white knight A good nights deep sleep - sleep apnea and CPAP
  • replies: 4

Its well known in the MH world that a minimum of 8 hours sleep is crutial to a good working mind. Some 20 years ago I was a shift worker of the most appauling hours. 12 hour shifts 12to12, afternoons (not so bad) and midnight to noon...crippling! Why... View more

Its well known in the MH world that a minimum of 8 hours sleep is crutial to a good working mind. Some 20 years ago I was a shift worker of the most appauling hours. 12 hour shifts 12to12, afternoons (not so bad) and midnight to noon...crippling! Why couldnt I handle not staying awake like the others? In security it was important to be on your guard. Eventually I had a sleep study ordered by my GP. This involved attending a hospital in Melbourne overnight. Several monitoring buttons were attached to my upper body to record blood pressure and breathing, heart rate etc. This report is sent to your GP. In my case I had mild to moderate sleep apnea which meant I stopped breathing several times every hour starving the mind of oxygen. I purchased a CPAP machine. We got a 12 volt one for camping reasons with a 240 volt power unit for when home. Essentially a cpap is an air pump that forces air regularly into your lungs stopping you from ceasing to breath. Cpaps have a humidifier, a small tray you can fill with water if your throat gets sore. I have had no need to use it. Like anything consult your doctor. Cpaps are known to increase your life span. They make you feel more alert during the day and no doubt help your mental health. There are various masks you can purchase. The mask doesnt bother me at all now. Eliminating poor sleep is one less challenge we have to bare towards the best outcome of our mental illness. If you are told you stop breathing while asleep or you feel sleepy in the afternoons, you might be best to attend your GP. TonyWK

Meg1977 Help
  • replies: 5

Hi guys i dont post alot because i feel as though ive been doing better but im really confused atm my 14 yo daughter has been working at her first job maccas for 3 wks now and absolutely hates it we didnt ask her to get a job she did this herself wit... View more

Hi guys i dont post alot because i feel as though ive been doing better but im really confused atm my 14 yo daughter has been working at her first job maccas for 3 wks now and absolutely hates it we didnt ask her to get a job she did this herself with a friend who also got a job like i said shes miserable and i dont know what to do she cries before leaving but cant tell me what she hates about it and im to the point that i get anxiety a day before her shift i want her to learn from this and not just quit cos sometimes you just have to work thru things and get to the other side Her mental health is very important to me but will she then think its ok to quit whenever she feels uncomfortable about something abit of info: she does suffer from some anxiety and has always had me there to save the day with things she isnt a confident person and only has 1 close friend thanx for any advice xo

white knight Covid19 - the positive side
  • replies: 0

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this t... View more

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this thread is the underlying positives of the pandemic and the changes to us that has been forced upon us. Let's go back to the 20th century. If you lived the whole century you would have experienced a pandemic, around 1933. Several flus like the Spanish flu that was very serious. Then of course there was WW1,WW2, Korean war, Vietnam war and wars in the middle east. Droughts, bush fires and one scar that etched itself forever in those that lived through it- the Great Depression. Life without food! In comparison the current pandemic has some modern assistance to make us feel not so alone... social media, forums, the smart telephone, skype, facetime and so on. Not to mention supermarket purchases unaffected. However, if one jailed prisoner has a TV, wifi, computer games etc and another has no such comforts, they are both jailed, they are both robbed of their freedom. Likewise even though we have our comforts we are still in lockdown or under threat. That makes it hard for many people. I knew an old man that said to me "the only good thing about wars is that they wake society up from where it sleeps". Meaning we get so comfortable we dont ever think a wake up call will come like the pandemic or a war. Therein lies the positive- that we are "woken up" and we'll tell our children or grand children one day about this pandemic like my father told me about the Great Depression. There is an argument that only when we struggle (financially, isolation, restrictions, lack of work etc ) do we then appreciate what we have and how wonderful life is when we recover. That is like those two prisoners- both will appreciate freedom when it comes around. Freedom is similar- you only really appreciate it until you are imprisoned and its taken away. You only appreciate life pandemic free when we all conquer Covid19. With full immunisation eminent we WILL overcome this disease and hold within us an appreciation of what life we have without facemasks and travel restrictions. That's the positive. Hold onto that. We will be stronger and more appreciative. Can you think positive about our challenges what ever they be? TonyWK

white knight Ugly? What is beauty?
  • replies: 6

Vanity is a dirty word!. Seems I'm endlessly seeing my lovely wife and her mother (that lived with us for a time) staring into the mirror trying to improve their beauty. Of course being a male many of us men don't worry about that. Why? Well partiall... View more

Vanity is a dirty word!. Seems I'm endlessly seeing my lovely wife and her mother (that lived with us for a time) staring into the mirror trying to improve their beauty. Of course being a male many of us men don't worry about that. Why? Well partially its an attitude of - I am who I am and also its what's inside that counts. What is "beauty"?. Unfortunately in our modern powder slapping lipstick painting society that is subjective. It's a pity "beauty" was judged on level of kindness to others and other living things. By and large it isn't. Being a man I've worked and lied with men all my life especially in the Defence force days. I know what they (and me) looked for in a lady when young, sexy coke bottle shaped figure, hair you wanted to run your fingers through and of course it was even better if they lusted for you. A dream come true. How 90% unrealistic! Once I hit 40yo I had a totally different view on what beauty was. Beauty then included- compatibility eg she had to have the same sensitivity as me towards animals and kind people also people in need. So, what of our young adults that find their appearance challenging as they compare themselves to the Kardashians of today? I feel very sorry for them because somewhere along the way of growing up they havent acknowledged the above. We cannot simply blame parents, the teenagers world is influenced by peers at school, comparisons or criticisms. School environments can be a terribly nasty place to exist. One short nasty comment from a cruel male or female can tumble a young girls confidence down a hill. We must counter that as individuals and as a society. Thankfully bullying is a dwindling occurrence as its been tackled vigorously in the last 15 years. A message to all people young and not so young - YOU ARE AS BEAUTIFUL AS ANY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET. You must work towards that thought and belief. You are unique, one of a kind that has quality characteristics you can build on to make a difference to this world. Imagine you are walking along a footpath and spot a injured bird. You kneel, you pick that bird up and stroke its neck. His eyes lock onto yours as his eyelids slowly close forever. You take him home and bury him is your back yard. Would you realise that your beauty right there, for that bird was the last thing he saw alive? That is a magical experience that no one else had done to that bird in amongst 8 billion humans? Beauty- its on the inside. TonyWK

AG_ I don't believe I deserve to be happy
  • replies: 6

Whenever I go to do something fun or something that will make me happy, I don't do it because I don't believe that I deserve to feel happiness. AAm I being stupid or does anyone else feel like this.

Whenever I go to do something fun or something that will make me happy, I don't do it because I don't believe that I deserve to feel happiness. AAm I being stupid or does anyone else feel like this.

SapereAude Occupational Health & Safety (OHS)
  • replies: 7

Occupational Health & Safety (OHS) The current pandemic has caused me to give greater thought to occupational health and safety as more of us return to work and education. A few people I have been chatting with have expressed feelings of anxiety over... View more

Occupational Health & Safety (OHS) The current pandemic has caused me to give greater thought to occupational health and safety as more of us return to work and education. A few people I have been chatting with have expressed feelings of anxiety over returning to work and how they can feel that their return to work is safe and noneventful. Whilst not Covid-19 specific, workplaces can both cause and assist mental health issues, including anxiety. Noting that legislation is different between states, a good starting point is Safework Australia. It also includes links to the different states and territories information. I’m in Victoria. Firstly, I would like to see a direct section addressing mental health in our occupational health and safety laws. What are you thoughts?