Vent and then let it go...

[Guest_1055]

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.

So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.

So yeah no replys please.

[Guest_1584]

Feel so many regrets , huge regrets , life regrets. And writing a little about them in another thread didn't help either , made me think more actually.

People say ahhh, you can't go back , change the past, it can't be undone, even ex w said that to me just last wk when l brought something up. That something she regretted too , it was really nice to hear actually that she did . And she's right , of course she is , she was one very very clued in and grounded chicky , and with just brilliant attitudes and ways , always was. She made mistakes and wasn't perfect either , but those were some things l always loved about her.

But people will say that none the less , can't change it, can';t go back , l know that, of course l know that how could l possibly not know something as basic as that. lt's still nice to hear it though right , it does help a little bit.

Thing is though , how do you feel it and turn away from it- leave it be , just stop it , look ahead not back, it's not and easy thing to do with such huge things , believe me, well not for me it isn;t.

[Guest_1055]

Stumbled again. Why does it hurt so much. Feels like a stab in my heart. I forgive him. I know this is a weak spot in me. The enemy knows that and he will try anything to rob me of any joy. Anything to cause division and sadness.

[Guest_1055]

Maybe it's grief I feel I am not sure. I don't make friends easily. Never known how to do it. Or be one. I thought I was a friend to this person. But I think she was just being polite now. And not really desiring my friendship one bit. Not a friend at all in her eyes. I didn't know how friendships work. Sadness. Big gulps of sadness. Rejection hurts. Maybe the signs were there. I just did not catch on.

So to you, you have a place in my heart. You always have. I chose to let you go, but it does hurt. I want the best for you. May you know peace in your heart, real peace. God bless you, this person who I saw as my first friend.

[CMF]

Why do I always have to find the negatives and let them take over?. Why can't I just be happy? Why am I so picky and end up having high expectations, which are never met? Why can't i be normal and have a normal relationship without all the extra people and messiness. I want simplicity.

[Guest_1643]

i said "no one cares if i go or not" and he was offended or worried

i say this all the time

it is weird to feel that it is shocking, or that someone hears

i feel like no one hears

i'm crying out but no one hears.

[Boudica]

Last night I had a vivid dream of death, not my death, but the grim reaper.

In the dream I was walking along a corridor in an abandoned building holding my son's hand and a very tall gaunt figure approached in what was like a long black burka. As it passed, it paused, leaned close and spoke. I could see the eyes, and it was the face of my Grandmother when she died. She whispered to me "Don't make him follow you". The 'him' she meant, was my son.

[amberlite]

THERE IS JUST NOT ENOUGH HUMOR AROUND ANY MORE

[Guest_1643]

i just hate this environment i'm in right now.

lockdowns suck

[Guest_1055]

I long not to base my worth on how my extended family see me. Or rather don't see me. Hardly feel noticed at all. The real me is invisible.

They don't see how sometimes I get real frightened. They have no idea how many times I have longed to go home. To end my existence on this earth.

They don't know why I try and eat so healthy. They don't know of the shame I feel. They don't know how I ache for real connection to them, but don't know how to do it.

[Guest_1643]

so over this lockdown and this headspace

so much to deal with my head feels like it's going to explode. don't think i can manage this "one day at a time" lets be positive attitude. this is just too hard. can't.