Vent and then let it go...
Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.
So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.
So yeah no replys please.
Venting here and hoping
Trying to work out what triggers me and before I am aware start to fall into this trapping numb sometimes so sad existence. The existence is within me. Her perhaps it's not. The emotions I am feeling are sadness, maybe hopeless or discouragement, a sense of aloneness yet I live with two other family members. No sense of true connection on a soul level. Dream like state, sort of fading in and out of life. Learned coping mechanism I think. You stay in the dream like state and it is easier to not feel the awful feelings somehow. Escape from them. Hide away into a place where it doesn't hurt. But it doesn't seem real. I spoke of the upper place some time ago on here. Being in the upper place. And no it's not heaven. But perhaps heaven is truly like that. A place where it doesn't hurt but is so very peaceful. No strifing there. A sensation of truly being home and belonging there. So restful. It's a sensation of realness. That is my true home on this earth. Not this dream like drifting into darkness sense of being. It's Gods place. I know that sounds weird and sometimes even to me as it goes against the natural human logic. There is definitely a spiritual dimension to human existence.
Maybe I feel grief. At times I don't even know what the emotions are called.
I think the dreamlike state can be a way of protecting ourselves from difficult emotions. I’ve certainly felt myself split off into that state when emotionally overwhelmed and it can have a feeling of unreality.
Sometimes we don’t always feel able to connect with the people we live with. I can’t remember from earlier things you’ve said, but do you feel you have any support elsewhere such as via a therapist or friend or relative? A good therapist you feel comfortable with may be able to help you process what you’re experiencing. They can often help with grounding techniques.
I have just a few relatives and friends I can call who I don’t necessarily feel able to go into depth about my own struggles with, but I find even just chatting with them on the phone can be grounding and I feel differently afterwards, like I’m less lost and more present.
Sometimes we don’t have words for feelings too and that’s ok. I think it’s not unusual to have difficulty naming emotions, especially when we drift into that dreamlike state as a kind of self-protection. It could possibly be grief at some level, which can be protracted at times. Hopefully it becomes clearer for you.
I agree with you there is a spiritual dimension, and I say that as a non-religious person (I don’t have a particular faith). But I think there is a realm where we feel connected to all things and in that realm our pain can heal. It’s like our emotional being and nervous system heal there.
I think when we feel genuinely seen and understood by another, that can be the catalyst to go into that transformative space. It’s like we shift into a different gear. There still might be more healing to unfold, but it’s like we’ve entered a space where that starts to occur naturally.
I don’t know if that makes sense? It’s kind of what I’m currently experiencing. I hope that helps a bit. Take care 🙏
Hi Eagle Ray...yes bits of what you said makes sense. That is I can understand bits.
Yes totally agree with you the dream like state is like a protective thing from feeling emotions. I don't think I like it. Because I don't like the unreal sensation and it makes it so more challenging to love other people. My head becomes foggy as well with the unreal sensation.
I am glad you have some friends to share with. I pretty much share deeper things with my sister. Very thankful she is in my life.
The being seen and understood by another is a bit like connection I think.
Sometimes I believe I over think things.
I am not religious either. But I believe in the living God.
And I wonder why you feel such a connection to animals and nature. You can lose yourself in the beauty of it all maybe.
Thankyou for hearing my voice Eagle Ray.
Yes, I don’t like the foggy, unreal sensation much either. Though at least noticing it’s a form of self protection has helped make sense of it. I think just understanding that in itself lessens its impact.
What one psychologist asked me to do was to just look around the room for a couple of minutes and notice what I see - the shapes, forms, colours of things, whatever my brain notices. She then asked me to tell her what those things were. I was quite able to say what I saw and was attracted to look at in the room. I remember particularly focusing on a pot plant that was on a high shelf and the way the vine from it was growing downwards in the light next to the window. Just from grounding myself in the here and now I felt much less spacey and unreal. It’s like I reconnected with the world. Sometimes just standing barefoot on the ground and really feeling the ground beneath you can have that grounding effect. It brings you back into the body.
I think overthinking things is something many of us humans do. I’ve researched a lot around trauma and stress and I’ve learned about the default mode network which is the part of the brain where we tend to ruminate. We can get really stuck here, especially if we are alone and don’t have other people and activities taking our attention.
Healing seems to come through the calming of the default mode network. Being with other people who are kind and loving can be a powerful way of calming this ruminative part of the brain down. Being engaged in focussed tasks can really help too, especially something we love doing. Something can be really bothering me and then I get involved in a gardening task and that ruminating part of the brain just switches off. It’s similar to when I do photography which I love.
I think my connection to nature is because this was my primary attachment as a child, because I didn’t have a human I felt I could orient to safely. So nature for me has always been my way of self-soothing. My spirit just resonates with it.
Sending you kind thoughts.
Hi Guest & ER & anyone reading
I was just thinking, & went to search & found there is a discussion you might like:
" Grounding yourself, What is it and how do you? "
It was made by Ggrand & is in Staying well'.
You may also type the title in the search field up there at the top of the page.
Hugzies to you both & everyone reading.
Sorry this sounds silly.
I lost my chunk of cheese & can't find it. I wrapped it in a new, clean plastic bag ready to put in the fridge, & that's the last I recall. I was lookig for it last night, & today & I can't find it anywhere. My memory isn't helping at all, to even guess at what I might have done with it instead of putting it in the fridge
So, I need to vent: I lost my cheese!
& let it go - to whatever creepy crawly bugs or rodents happen to find it, or discover it one day, oh, I hate to think what it will be like then... ugh!
& let it go again ..
This sort of event irritates me so arfing much!
So let those feelings g, too o....
Oh My Wiskers! It's been more than six months since I came here to vent about my chunk of cheese ....
& I just remembered this thread tonight, (thanks Em) so wanted to vent about not remembering it earlier today, when I was venting on another thread....
That's life, ain't it?
I have been so frustrated trying to sort out who I can have supporting me, & when they can, if I do actually have a support co-ordinator working for me or if he's sick, & why someone else at the company can't support him?!
Fortunately, I can sign someone else up for tomorrow & Tuesday, & maybe more, depending upon if my support worker can drive & work again by Friday, or what???
In the meantime, I have to phone the gym about whether or not a support worker not a member of the gym may come in & help me with the equipment. Will I have to pay a 'guest' fee? Will NDIS cover something like that, given they don't anything towards my gym membership, will they pay for the worker to enter the gym with me?
Did I make a mistake joining this private gym, rather than staying with what I had at Sporting Wheelies?
Hello Shell. Thinking of you. Miss you, How are you?
Hugzies to you