Vent and then let it go...

[Guest_1055]

Not sure about anyone else but sometimes I just need to vent, including venting any frustrations, fears, hopes, worries, longings and anything else. Most of the time I don't want any advice or any responses. Just need a way to get it all out from within me.

So thought this thread could be for those sort of things. No one replys to you with words or anything. It's a place to let it all go. Just dump whatever it is you want to say and leave it here.

So yeah no replys please.

[Guest_1055]

Thought I had forgiven these doctors, but anger toward them and one in particular has risen its ugly head. Hate feeling angry. Doctors are not God. Doctors are not perfect. Doctors don't always take their oath seriously "Do no harm". Doctors cannot tell you when you will die. Only the all mighty God knows that.

One doctor said to be in an angry tone when I refused major surgery in 2018 "Do you want to die with these 2 large masses in you" Well Mrs Doctor I am still alive. And one mass shrunk. All she did was try to put fear in me. You cannot make logical and important decisions whilst you are wearing fear glasses. You would be making the decision through emotions.

I know I am bitter towards them. I can feel it. And I absolutely hate that feeling as well.

So very sick of all this - - - - - stuff too.

[Guest_1055]

Thankyoi for hearing my voice mkitty and sleepy before

[Guest_1643]

How much more can I literally take.

Insults and accusations.... I think he enjoys it, I think he doesn't feel.

I feel all the wounds. It is not easy for me to move on.

I am struggling so much with things that used to be easy and I have lost so much

[Guest_1055]

I hear you dear Sleepy.

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sleepy21, 

We're so very sorry to hear that you're struggling right now. We can hear that you're flooded by a lot of tough thoughts and feelings that can feel really difficult to cope with, and we understand that this must be particularly hard at the moment. We think it's great that you're so proactive in seeking help on the forums and that you are willing to examine your own feelings so openly.

We're here for you. Please do feel free to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

[mmMekitty]

Too many words; the wrong words; I'm too tired already & it's not even lunchtime yet; I don't know what to say for so many people, & feel I'm not able to even able to reach out & say "I'm here" & believing that could possibly be anywhere near enough. I feel I'm just not up to it today. Feeling so inadequate.

I try & end up writing so much, can't think about what is really needed to say. Try again & again. & I'm sorry. I want to write something that let's them know there is a way through, & point out a direction, but I don't know it myself.

I feel I'm stumbling around this dark forest, running into solid trees.

I know, this is about me, really, I feel I've been left with no answers, no support, & don't want to see anyone in this same situation, so that's what I'm doing, something for me, by doing for someone else, only I come up against the problem of not knowing what to say, or how to help. I know that's what it is.

It's so very frustrating.

Thanks for space to say this.

mmMekitty

[Ggrand]

Dear Kitty...

The most important thing for you to do is to, look after yourself...take the time to rest...both body and soul....

I have never seen through your words and think except kindness, compassion, care....Please give those things to you today and always....

Warm caring hugs dear friend..🕊🦋🤗.

Grandy..

[mmMekitty]

Thanks Grandy, but today really has been mush.

I get so down on myself, & I know I'm doing it, & being so tired, making mstakes in my typing, alone, these things make me cranky, so other things pile in, & I spiral down, seemingly not able to pull myself out of it - maybe have another snooze, do regular things, ...then I get a phone call, this afternoon, & they say I gotta get a COVID test 3 days before I go into hospital & the helper I was relying on can't help me that day, (& not the 1st, but 31 Dec, - that's okay, apparently, but I'm now having to get a taxi, going unmasked into a plac where peopl are being tested for COVID-19, usually because they may have been incontact with someone who has been infected...to prove I am not, when, I already know I am not, & if I just stay home until Jan 4th I will definitely be COVID negative.

This doesn't make sense, or my brain is mush.

Thanks again for the space to vent.

[Gambit87]

Had 3/4 days of 40+ degrees here in perth, so pretty much spent most of it inside - I felt like I was in another lockdown? We also have mask wearing mandates aswell.

I was sick of being inside so I went to the cinemas to see the new spider man movie (which I loved btw) and got myself some lunch. When I got home a wave of anxiety went over me because I felt like I should have stayed home considering there were active cases and it was wrong for me to go out? but we are are not in a lockdown so it IS ok to go out as long as masks are worn.

argh - but thankfully I reconsigned it and able to get through it.

[Guest_1643]

Don't like my case managers advice,,,,

Can't wait wait till this period of time is over.....hoping it will get easier,