Feel just lost , alone, like an idiot , repetition of the same mistakes made my whole life andddd yet, l've had incredible offers in my life, even of just this last few yrs. But l push them away , or doubt them , or doubt love , or don't look after it. Such huge decisions and things going on , yet l now have to face them alone, and figure them out alone, and at this stage in life, it's madness. But it's half self inflicted , not all though , it's also half bad luch which that l can't do anything about can l.
We try , and things either go our way or they don't. Seems some don't even have to try , and help is being thrown at them , yet from where you stand, they aren't even a very nice person. Yet help is never thrown my way or if it is and not that l wouldn't appreciate it but it's usually , well the few times in life it has been offered , in the smaller ways that can't really change what's needed.
So many things spinning round , so much time alone too , so stuck in your head.
rx
