A very negative topic but one of reality for in my 61 years I've taken notice of the attitude of some people, that of, not trusting anyone until they prove themselves, as being not the right way to go.
But now,I understand, we need to self preserve our hearts. Trusting people that you dont know well isnt wise and hurt comes when they go "MIA".
Lets clarify this. There are givers and takers in this world with a sliding scale between them. The danger I find is those that wear the mask of a giver but after a long association with me the realisation sets in...they are a taker. So whats the threat level of this? Only disappointment. Its like "will the real person please stand up"!
So what I'm eluding to is the world of the mask.
" they seek him here, they seek him there...they seek him everywhere. Is he in heaven, or is he in hell?...that damned elusive...pimpernell..."
Its the masquerade that I find intolerable but its different to friendship of the type like a weighing scale
Topic: the weighing scale of friendships- beyondblue
In that thread I highlighted how my family had developed an unsatisfactory trait, of "Ive visited your place 5 times this year but you've been here just once". What Im talking about here is the bare level of expectations of a friendship or a developing one.
So, back to the sliding scale. There are friends and family. Friends should exist at the start if the scale. Up until recently new friends held a position just near family on that "slider". How unwise. 95% chance of them sliding down that scale so why put them up so high at the beginning?....I know why, it isnt just benefit of the doubt, more like a situation of letting my heart rule my head.
The danger of this is the hurt returning time after time. The positive is that one in 50 become lifelong friends that always remember "you always trusted me, how could I not love you".
Sadly with mental illness that can include high hurt levels through disappointment, one must enter the fortress for when one lacks wisdom in any field one needs to develop an alternative. No natural crutch?, buy a wheelchair.
Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue
There is little chance of anything good coming out of such disappointment of a failed friendship. Internal words like "their loss", doesnt "cut the mustard".
So my advice for readers that get hurt often by friends that dont return the bare basics of care a friend should show in times of need, check your values.
Protect your heart. Sadly
Tony WK
