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Sophie_M Sleep and Mental Health
  • replies: 0

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remem... View more

Many of us have struggled with bouts of troubled sleep, and needless to say, these periods of nocturnal restlessness can be utterly overwhelming and exhausting. Sleeplessness can filter into every aspect of our lives: our ability to be present, remember things, regulate our emotions, or to feel excited and energised… it can change the way we think and feel in such a significant and impactful way. Whether it’s due to big life changes, global pandemics, financial or work stressors, health concerns (like menopause), how much ‘you’ time you have, or even unprocessed emotions you weren’t aware were there – so many things can impact how you sleep. All of this goes to show that not only do your daily habits, routines, and experiences play a huge role in maintaining healthy sleep cycles, but so does your mental health. And frustratingly enough, your sleep also impacts and informs your mental health and daily habits. Like most things, it’s a very easy cycle to fall into. So, it’s imperative that we are gentle and compassionate with ourselves on our journey to understanding what is making us so hypervigilant and unable to rest in the first place. Studies show that journaling or mindfulness practices throughout the day, healthy food, movement, sunshine, connection with loved ones, and support from health professionals can help us to feel more grounded and able to rest. But we are curious… what has worked for you? When do you notice that your sleep is most affected vs. when you get the best rest? And is there a way you could practice regulating your nervous system more throughout the day to help promote better sleep at night? We would love to hear your thoughts! Let us know if you have any questions and be sure to check out our page on ‘Sleep and Mental Health’ for more guidance and insight into a more supported and restful night’s sleep: Sleep and mental health - Beyond Blue - Beyond Blue Looking forward to hearing from you! Kind regards, Sophie M

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Partners: their effect on us
  • replies: 2

Being carers of us, lets face it, our carers deserve a medal. They tolerate a lot. However, not all carers are angels. They often are our judge though in that they have the responsibility to gauge how unwell we are, how our moods are, our depression ... View more

Being carers of us, lets face it, our carers deserve a medal. They tolerate a lot. However, not all carers are angels. They often are our judge though in that they have the responsibility to gauge how unwell we are, how our moods are, our depression and anxiety. What if their flaws arent within the scope of normal? We the unwell are usually not in a position to criticise and if we do it can be categorized as us over reacting or needing our meds tweeked. One good example of this is a previous partner of mine. Our arguements came about unpredictably, in the late evenings and she'd always blame my illnesses for them. After nine years of this one night we fell out big time. Police were called and all was ok. She wanted to stay with her daughter an hour away so the police, as a matter of routine breath tested her. Three times over the limit! It turned out that she was an alcoholic. I had no idea. I tried helping her but in the end it was not to be. With step parent issues as well it didnt work out. What was alarming however was that on several occasions previously when a dispute occured, the next day she'd ring my psych. He'd ring me and upon her account he'd adjust my medication amount. Do you see the problem here? In her eyes it was always the fault of my illness. We split. Eventually I remarried and never have had such issues again. One wonders what the effect is with living with a less compatible partner? What level of reliance a psych or GP should have with our partners? What if a partner has an undiagnosed mental illness themselves? If a partner is a narcissist, our over reaction from a mentally unwell person might be the same as what a normal person would react like? We have complex issues daily to cope with. Finding a compatible partner without mental illness isnt easy in itself let alone with one. But as mentally ill people we should also be on the lookout for being abused by carers on the basis our relationship is having problems...not because we are ill. We are not at fault for our issues so if we are blamed for the symptoms that effect our partner be wary of that because it crosses the line of fairness. Like dating a person that has children, dating us is a package deal. Tolerance of our symptoms is not unlike tolerance of our carers when they are irritable when they are immobile with a broken leg or the flu. Ok its more severe than that but we shouldnt pay a price for it. Have you had problems based on being told its your illness? Tony WK

Guest_1055 Handling Conflict Strategies
  • replies: 3

Hello, I have been thinking about conflict and how it affects us.... Its seems to be everywhere, in marriages, friendships, workplaces, between your children, media ,the whole human race if you really stop and think about it. Even world wars have bee... View more

Hello, I have been thinking about conflict and how it affects us.... Its seems to be everywhere, in marriages, friendships, workplaces, between your children, media ,the whole human race if you really stop and think about it. Even world wars have been starting by conflict. I am not sure about everyone else reading this, but I hate it and it is something I have a fear of. The reason I think I have such a bit of a fear of it... (yes my heart starts to race sometimes when I sense conflict between humans) Anyway a couple of reasons I may feel this fear is because I never learnt how to handle these situations when they happen. I did not see conflicts worked out while growing up because it was something to be avoided, feared, it was uncomfortable , pushed down and no life example was given. Like the "how to". I saw no real life conflict situations handled in a healthy win win way. Yeah like the "how to" Plus there did not seem to be any arguments either. I also feel sad sometimes when I see people hurting in any way whether physical conflict, misunderstandings , verbal conflict or whatever it is. But I have came to the realisation that it is quite normal for there to be conflict ( I think ). We are all so different, different values, different beliefs, different personalities , different way we see and perceive issues in life. People are going to have conflict in life, but we can choose how to respond to it. Not react out of anger, hurts or whatever . But a healthy response. My hubby had witnessed conflict and arguments while growing up. But did not see the healthy " how to". So it was a complete shock to me when I got married. As I didn't see any while growing up. Nor did I watch shows on tv that showed the best way to handle conflict. And I kept to myself at school...hidden in the library or in a quite spot in the play ground. I have been learning conflict resolution at this group I go to. The objective of this thread really is to see if any body can relate to me here. Maybe you did have heaps of conflict while growing up and even now. But have never learnt the " how to" handle it sort of thing. Another objective would be if you have any strategies you use yourself, can you share them? Like what to you do to handle conflict? Me.. I am a still a learner and practising to get better at it. Shell x

Flick_SnotGrass The NOCEBO Effect
  • replies: 4

The NOCEBO Effect You’ve heard of The Placebo Effect ~ our unbelievably amazing innate healing power that we all have and can learn to use more usefully. What's the flip-side of PLACEBO!? Is there one? Oh, yes...and it is really, really horrible. It'... View more

The NOCEBO Effect You’ve heard of The Placebo Effect ~ our unbelievably amazing innate healing power that we all have and can learn to use more usefully. What's the flip-side of PLACEBO!? Is there one? Oh, yes...and it is really, really horrible. It's called The NOCEBO Effect. It can kill ya. I am not kidding. NOCEBO is Mind Poison. NOCEBO is voodoo. NOCEBO can kill you with a mere suggestion. A really effective African Witch Doctor, can kill you with no more than a glance and him pointing a magic bone at you if you annoy him. No kidding. I know. I have witnessed the power of an angry GULE WAMKULU Man. It ain’t pretty. "Ridiculous." "What nonsense!" "How is that possible?" Easy, NOCEBO feeds on your FEAR. NOCEBO tricks you into feeling helpless and hopeless. And if you are not careful, NOCEBO can ruin you. You see we need 'FEAR'. If you cannot feel your feelings of FEAR, you cannot judge danger and you will tend to do stupid and life ending things. No. What we need to do is alter our RESPONSE to our sensations of FEAR, not try and get rid of them. Ponder this ~ if you stay feeling helpless and hopeless, for too long, unattended NOCEBIC energy will tend trick you into doubting your sense of self, it will trick you into doubting yourSelves, as if you had forsaken your Self. You quickly end up in a double locked loop…BINGO, you’re STUCK! Do I have your attention? Yes. Good Now what can you do to get out of the NOCEBO Trap? Step 1 is ALWAYS Awareness. It’s when you become Aware, that's when you start to break the Spell. And diSpell the spell…. For when you are brave enough to express your secret, unexpressed fears to yourself, they can no longer work their NOCEBIC poison invisibly within you. So, BECOME CURIOUS about what is going on inside you. Acknowledge you are feeling scared or overwhelmed or doomed. Step 2 BREATHE Long slow steady breaths will ALWAYS start to break up those compulsive NOCEBIC thought patterns. Yes it will take practice, persevere. Start. I will offer more tips and tools on breaking up the NOCEBO Effect in later posts but for now remember that The NOCEBO Effect does not like being mocked. NOCEBO hates being laughed at. Seriously! HaHaHaHa! Nocebo needs to be taken seriously for its poison to work on you. Laugh, it’s cheap and effective.

Mitch_D I don’t know where to go
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have recently turned 30 and have filled out an application for university. I have mostly worked in trades and construction but have also studied a little bit. I’m not extremely happy where I am at the moment and feel I have more to contribute a... View more

Hi, I have recently turned 30 and have filled out an application for university. I have mostly worked in trades and construction but have also studied a little bit. I’m not extremely happy where I am at the moment and feel I have more to contribute and can have more of an impact on the world. im struggling to decide what career path to go down and I’m hoping that some people on here have had the same issues and can help point me in a direction with websites they have used or people they have talked to in order to find what it is that could make life a little more fulfilling for myself. Thanks in advance.

white knight Changes from a boring life
  • replies: 1

I've read many times on this forum how some members enter a mundane, boring, static period in their lives. Essentially if that is broken by an adrenalin packed event the event is short lived and its back to the same routine. Those of you that find li... View more

I've read many times on this forum how some members enter a mundane, boring, static period in their lives. Essentially if that is broken by an adrenalin packed event the event is short lived and its back to the same routine. Those of you that find life boring focus more on ones mental illness. You just might not have the distraction of a passion. If you are one of these people then you might want to try to examine what other people do to fill in their lives. Sport, hobbies, special interests. A passion is even more intriguing because every spare moment is filled with your thoughts about it. There are other factors imo. You could be a person that needs stability. Your housing, income, mental health care etc all are needs to not upset your routine life so changes like introducing an interest however enjoyable likely has ramifications like costs and robbing a responsibility of time like shopping, childcare etc. Clearly a passion is great if your dedication is monitored and doesnt become an obsession. If your life is mundane and you dont mind some instability to help with that problem then having radical ideas might be considered. Radical to you perhaps, common to many. Relocating your environment, new career, activities way out of your comfort zone ...everything should be on the table. For me, model airplanes was my passion. When I stopped it many years ago it created a void. I was lost and bored. Depression more common. Finally I had to find a logical answer. A mix of several activities was the answer. Gardening, bb forum, caravanning, vintage cars and my latest interest- cooking. The "mix" means regardless of weather or costs, there is an interest there at all times to do. In fact some days I'll go from one to the other. Variety keeps me bouyed. You are the only person that can find a passion. No one can find it for you. But distraction is the road away from dwelling how unwell you feel. Its logical but logic doesnt mean its obvious. Examine all sports and hobbies. Reflect back on your childhood as to what interested you and start from there. Once started, a passion can snowball your life. A friend joined a bushwalking club. That interest made her some friends and she loved the wildlife so much her hobby became photography of birds. Examining activities that inspire you is the first step. Dabbling into them is the second. From then on, the snowball of diversion is under way. Have you got a passion? Tell us how it helps you. TonyWK

Quercus How to build a support network
  • replies: 16

"How do I build a support network?" I thought this once. Sitting in my car trying to tell myself I was angry at the psychologist who had given me tough love... "You don't have a life". And knowing the truth was she was right. My life had become nappy... View more

"How do I build a support network?" I thought this once. Sitting in my car trying to tell myself I was angry at the psychologist who had given me tough love... "You don't have a life". And knowing the truth was she was right. My life had become nappy changes, feeds and never leaving the house. I didn't use forums or social media. My life was husband and two babies. Nothing else. No friends. No family. No colleagues or work. No hobbies. Nothing. These people had disappeared from my life the moment my children arrived. And I caused that. I stopped trying. Closed down. Shut everyone out. I have changed this for myself. It is possible. This thread is for ideas.... What did you do to build a support network? My lessons... Accept it will take effort. You have to make an effort. Noone is going to do it for you. Friendships and relationships have to be give and take or people don't bother. Accept you will not be comfortable. You will have to push yourself. Make changes. It is easier to do nothing but more worthwhile to try. Accept it will take time. You're not going to become a social butterfly overnight. Small changes. Perseverance. Keep trying and then try some more. Good relationships take time. You need multiple relationships. It is not fair to ask one person to help all the time. Partners, friends, family, colleagues, medical professionals, support groups, social clubs/groups, study groups, sporting groups.... The list is huge. There are people out there you will relate well to. You've just got to put yourself out there to meet people. Pick up the phone and make plans to reconnect with people you know. Face to face. Meet for a cuppa. Have a chat. Make it a regular thing. Reduce the amount of time and effort you put into social media. What is the point of having 500 "friends" none of which you could call and ask for help? Put that time and effort into real relationships. Be honest. People respond well to honesty. When I was well enough to recognise how isolated I was it meant swallowing my pride and apologising. Im sorry I ignored you for years with no explanation. It was a horrible thing to do. I was very depressed and a complete mess and didn't leave the house. I was embarrassed and a mess. I missed you I was just too ashamed to ask for help. These are my thoughts. What about you? What worked for you? ❤ Nat

Yana8216 Sending love n care out to y'all!
  • replies: 1

I'm saying "No" to going out tonight coz I find it hard to say "No" to another drink when I'm out - sending a shout out to all you people staying home to look after yourself & family, and an even bigger shout out to all you out on the town - hope you... View more

I'm saying "No" to going out tonight coz I find it hard to say "No" to another drink when I'm out - sending a shout out to all you people staying home to look after yourself & family, and an even bigger shout out to all you out on the town - hope you have a safe, fun night and wake up tomorrow feeling happy & healthy. A special shout out too to White Knight & other Beyond Blue members who are replying to posts tonight to help & support others, thank you so much.

white knight A life of compromise
  • replies: 6

Compromising with life as opposed to people. Life, we've all had our speed bumps, totally unexpected and do damage to us mentally every time. It occurred to me while sitting in my car one day a few years back, while waiting for a lovely looking lady ... View more

Compromising with life as opposed to people. Life, we've all had our speed bumps, totally unexpected and do damage to us mentally every time. It occurred to me while sitting in my car one day a few years back, while waiting for a lovely looking lady to....hand me a speeding fine, that if I expected to receive one fine per year, I'd never lose my license and the bonus would be- It wouldn't hurt because I'd expect it. So the life speed hump, what if we expected a downer, a traumatic event to arrive once a month. Wouldn't you celebrate if you went 3 months without a major upset or depression cycle? The facts are clear, trauma through losing a loved one that passed occurs on average every decade. I'm overdue by 25 years when my father passed in 1992. But you can see where I'm going with this. Another fact- you cannot do anything about these traumas. You cannot prevent them, alter their course or delay the inevitable eg aged care. And we also know that some people can seemingly take these terrible events in their stride but we often cannot. I say "seemingly" because some people have great effective masks. We don't really know what they are thinking do we? In 2003 I was misdiagnosed with ADHD and bipolar 1. In 2009 rediagnosed with bipolar 2, depression, anxiety and dysthymia. What a mixed bag I thought. Once I accepted my illnesses (3 months) I began to accept worse case senarios. Time in a psychiatric ward, relationship difficulties, period rejecting society, interference with work, maybe anger or violence. I never considered ending my life because in 1996 I started that woeful journey and vowed I'd never hurt my family after that. The other possibles never happened. But had they occurred I would have expected them. A spell in a ward? Ok, rest up, get well and exit in a better condition (maybe, I haven't been in one), rejecting society ok, done that a few times but I'd plan it better now as I'm wiser. Violence..? expect violence? Nope, that would not be acceptable in my eyes at all. That was not negotiable. So I had to work on that one. I made myself a truce never to be violent includes abuse. So none of those things above occurred...not so bad..good result. So its better with a mix of promises and acceptance. I've accepted life as it is, a roller coaster, cruel in many ways elation in others, sad but joyous, helping others and being selfish, crying and smiling. A life of compromising balance. Its a happier way to be Tony WK

Sphinx Advice for supporting myself when coming off meds?
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone, I've had long term depression (with very mild anxiety) for about 14 years now. I only started medication about 2 years ago, during my third pregnancy (it was one of those situations where it was better to be on it than off it). I also s... View more

Hey everyone, I've had long term depression (with very mild anxiety) for about 14 years now. I only started medication about 2 years ago, during my third pregnancy (it was one of those situations where it was better to be on it than off it). I also started therapy with a psychologist around the same time, however found it completely pointless because all she was interested in doing was hearing about my current issues and giving me household tricks on making things easier (not such a bad thing but we never got to the root of my issues and I never learnt any coping strategies). So right now I'm currently on medication and not seeing anyone, but have just started an online CBT course. I desperately want to come off medication because it's recently dawned on me that the way I feel every day (lethargic, can't concentrate, 30kg weight gain in two years, dizziness, headaches etc) is likely due to the medication because it's the one variable that has not changed in two years. My GP is happy for me to reduce the dosage and see how I feel but last time I tried, I became very despondent and depressed, unable to find motivation to do anything. I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips on how I can help reduce the withdrawal side effects and help support myself mentally as I come off my medication? Obviously I'd love to be off medication completely but I am aware I may not be ready for that yet and will need to try a different one. But in the mean time, any tips or advice is welcome! Thanks (and apologies if this was posted in the wrong place!)