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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Time out from the fast lane
  • replies: 6

What is the "fast lane"?. Humans have developed over a long period but in the last 150 years advancement in technology has resulted in a more complex life. 300 years ago and beyond, prior to the industrial revolution we were not much more than hunter... View more

What is the "fast lane"?. Humans have developed over a long period but in the last 150 years advancement in technology has resulted in a more complex life. 300 years ago and beyond, prior to the industrial revolution we were not much more than hunter gatherers. How can the human mind adapt to change within a short relative time frame? 30 years ago thete were no computers in our homes. If you didnt accept that computers were beneficial and endure the steep learning curve, you were left behind. The "fast lane" is now normal living. You might be a two income family, kids, drop one off at day care, drop one off at school, toletate peak hour traffic, parking fines and abrasive work colleagues but you can still be in the fast lane with none of those things. Even a person not working can feel the pressure. Financial stress, society expectations, class warfare, stigma, feelings of failure...keeping well. To those people...us...we have our own fast lane. Everyone has their own burnout point. That double income two kids family? What if suddenly they lose one income. They base their lifestyle on two incomes, their mortgage, cars etc. Have an injury at home could fracture their resilience And its no different to someone unemployed that has an unexpected bill. The mechanucal car repairs. No car, no chance of work and the despair sets in.. Its just all too hard. It might seem logical that everyone has a certain capacity. Some people are stimulated by challenges whereas some are not. The human brain has developed on various levels of ability to cope with modern life. If you've had trouble coping it isnt a "fault" more so a part of being normal...thats how common it is. When the human brain breaks down we need to take it seriously and not expect to return to our lifestyles previously enjoyed. Tips on this are in- use google Topic: be radical- beyondblue For me I remained in full time employment too long. Eventually after a mental collapse I went part time but it was too late, my capacity to work at all was no longer there. I had no endurance left. Hence this thread, to alarm you in the danger of overload. What can you do to prevent what happened to me? Revamp finances so you have saving ability, resist that new car and extra loan! Take your holidays and make it a holiday. At the end of it plan your next. Any mental illness plan future part time work and.. Return to nature where your brain belongs. Chill out on a river bank and turn off your mobile phone... Tony WK

Guest_128 One thing you did good today
  • replies: 101

On returning my shopping trolley today I was confronted with a lady and two small kids that looked less off than me I suppose. The lady fumbled for a coin and I said here by the kids an ice cream , She looked at me as if I where giving her a 100 , it... View more

On returning my shopping trolley today I was confronted with a lady and two small kids that looked less off than me I suppose. The lady fumbled for a coin and I said here by the kids an ice cream , She looked at me as if I where giving her a 100 , it was $2 BAM I felt so good Later

ScarlettR Any household chores you find fun and mentally stimulating?
  • replies: 10

I believe it's important to keep up with household chores on a daily basis - not only for the house maintenance, but it occupies your mind and you get a mental and physical exercise from it. The household chores I do find fun are laundry, believe it ... View more

I believe it's important to keep up with household chores on a daily basis - not only for the house maintenance, but it occupies your mind and you get a mental and physical exercise from it. The household chores I do find fun are laundry, believe it or not! I'm a bit of a shopaholic and like buying nice clothes to cheer myself up. So to wash nice clothes then hang them up to dry in preparation for a next big day/ night out is really exciting to me. I don't wish to list any households I don't really like doing - just the ones I enjoy.

white knight Finding YOURSELF
  • replies: 6

Its a common question, those with the "fog" of mental illness confess that they dont know who they are. They're lost, feel bland in personality and dont see anything unique in their own character. What can they do to become somebody, like everyone el... View more

Its a common question, those with the "fog" of mental illness confess that they dont know who they are. They're lost, feel bland in personality and dont see anything unique in their own character. What can they do to become somebody, like everyone else in the world?. Well firstly we must face some hard facts.Courage is an element of us all and we need to dig deep to harness it, put it to use. We are all unique. We look different, talk different, act uniquely, so lets accept that we are unique. Most people in childhood develop interests naturally. Hobbies, future professions, whether we like certain foods and as we grow older, slot into certain fields of natural ability. I wanted to be a policeman or pilot, was inventive, loved building cubbies, developed humour but I had an anchor, a part of me didnt develop as quickly as it should have...street wisdom and emotions So, if I had also not developed in other fields, like my character and slotting into various fields of ability, I'd be asking myself ..who am I? Im suggesting that some work needs to be done to discover who you are. Counseling would help here. But daily you can spent time discovering what is already present within you...you! There's no better example than a friend of my wife. Lacking any confidence, failed 30 year marriage, dwelling on her health issues, no obvious unique abilities- to her. She invited us to dinner and was in tears as we walked through the door over thinking her meal would be terrible. She had zero confidence. The meal consisted of steak peas and potato bake, then lemon marangue pie. At the end of the meal I grabbed paper and a pen and gave it to her and asked her to write down the recipe of the potato bake. "Why" she asked. "Because its the best Ive tasted, better that the town cafe, why arent you a cook"? Eventually the same local cafe advertised for a casual cook. She got the job (especially after I told the owner about her skill). Suddenly she had direction a future, a reason to read books on recipes. But what I find amusing is that her ability to cook wasnt seen by her as a unique ability. Some people cant boil water and every chef in the world is trained to be one. But here was a lady that cooked for 33 years for her family which was great training and learned through trial and error. You can find who you are. Be flexible though and positive. I ended up a tinkerer and pi. Not a pilot..so be ready to change direction and change your mind ..thats ok to. Find YOU! Tony WK

Peppermintbach Share your "life lessons" here: the good, bad and the ugly
  • replies: 32

Hi everyone, Please feel free to share your "life lessons" here that you have learnt (or are in the process of learning) along the way This is a place for you to share your lessons learnt from times of joy as well as times of loss and pain (and all t... View more

Hi everyone, Please feel free to share your "life lessons" here that you have learnt (or are in the process of learning) along the way This is a place for you to share your lessons learnt from times of joy as well as times of loss and pain (and all the other emotions in between). I hope this thread becomes a place of collective wisdom and learned experience. May the sharing begin... Love, Pepper xo

white knight A city to country relocate- why not?
  • replies: 12

Hi all. Do you want to wind down? Kiss most of your anxiety away? The ultimate tree change might be the answer. I was raised in the western suburbs of Melbourne. I hated it. It was so much in contrast to my pops fairy farm in Tasmania that we visited... View more

Hi all. Do you want to wind down? Kiss most of your anxiety away? The ultimate tree change might be the answer. I was raised in the western suburbs of Melbourne. I hated it. It was so much in contrast to my pops fairy farm in Tasmania that we visited for xmas every year. I had to get out and joined the RAAF at 17yo. Since then I came and went from the city and each time I left the city my anxiety reduced overall. So what is it about the country that relaxes us? No or few traffic lights and few cars, rarely see parking metres, greater distance between neighbours, more pleasurable walks, more flora and fauna, less noise and pollution, lower overall living costs...and more I cant think of. Its subjective but I feel the people are friendlier and the crime rate lower...its less dangerous. My first permanent move was one hour from Melbourne, then 90 minutes, then 2 hours and now over 2 hours. Ive found that the first two moves meant I mixed with commuters like me, working in the city. Eventually living much further away I'm living amongst seasoned country people which is more to my liking. What about finances? Well a move to the country can reduce financial stress. Currently you can buy a home for $180,000 2 hours from Melbourne. Recently on holidays I saw many homes in northern NSW in the hills for as little as $90,000. These towns have hospitals and shops. Self preservation with mental illness is a priority, it sounds selfish but its even more important than living in close proximity to family. As individuals we have to take measures to preserve ourselves. My daughter lives in the city...its taken as a Sunday drive visiting her. There are obstacles. Work issues, will you pick the right town?, facilities, in town or out of town?, will it be easy to sell if you cant adapt? Ive lived in country towns. The first a hamlet no shops, primary school only. The second with pub, store, 7 minutes from town of 10,000 and currently the same,town of 200 with a store and pub with town of 4,000 10 minutes away. For me its ideal and being over 2 hours from the city its really relaxing. Eventually a move into the larger town is inevitable. Aged care is there. Some large country cities provide little benefit to the transformation. However, my sister remains a city person regardless of her depression and bipolar. We drove past high rise units in the city "thats where I want to live" she said. Yuk! Other ideas to reduce anxiety are listed in Topic: be radical- beyondblue Tony WK

white knight Crying, let it all out!
  • replies: 3

My mate told me he is an expert of red wine. He thought I was joking when I replied with "I'm an expert at crying". The fact is that my first 45 years of life I cried countless tears in an era that since Adam, was seen as childish or weak. I not only... View more

My mate told me he is an expert of red wine. He thought I was joking when I replied with "I'm an expert at crying". The fact is that my first 45 years of life I cried countless tears in an era that since Adam, was seen as childish or weak. I not only had (unbeknown to me) bipolar spectrum, depression and anxiety but also the dreaded dysthymia. Dysthymia is a chronic low mood depression that has less of a "wave" nature, more a constant sadness. I'm less effected by it now but the memories are permanent scars. Whats it like, how does it feel? It isnt easy to describe. Anything can trigger it. Even the slightest emotional scene on TV, or seeing someone upset, an injured animal, being disciplined or a big trigger...sad memories. It was responsible for many of my sad poems and sad songs would spark it big time. It is in effect like other mental illnesses in that it is an extreme state of mind so extreme emotion is an accurate painting of the picture. As the emotion built up over days I use to try and contain it, do what men "should do" and not cry. That restraint may have lasted a day or more then it would overflow. I learned by 25yo to let it out. So, I'd cry for an hour or so...quite a long time. Recovery no different than others about 2-3 hours (and a headache). At work I'd mastered the "allergic to cigarette smoke excuse or pollen" to explain my red eyes. On some occasions the bout of crying was so severe it felt like and likely was, going down the road of self destruction. If you ever feel this sad to this extent please get help. I know the difference a low dose of anti depressants can make and its huge. It just tipped me towards normality with my emotions. Try to look upon your period of crying as a process that needs to be carried out before you'll settle down again. Try not to be reactive nor drive a vehicle, be sensible and aware that the frame of mind you are in during heavy crying isnt cohesive and you have little control. Its a process you cannot rush nor snap out of. It is treatable. Once treatment is underway you'll do less crying and more living. And thats progress. Its also an act of self preservation and that isnt only good for you but your priceless loved ones. So let it out, no fear, no embarrassment and no guilt. Then chat with your GP, it could change your life for the better. It did with me. Tony WK

Guest_829 anti-social media
  • replies: 3

recently i've been off and on social media in between work,home life,down time and when im studying.wondering how many people have given up on those sires and have de-faced themselves and are now searching for other ways to talk about their problems ... View more

recently i've been off and on social media in between work,home life,down time and when im studying.wondering how many people have given up on those sires and have de-faced themselves and are now searching for other ways to talk about their problems and worrys and every day issues

Meganrubyjoy Social exclusion.
  • replies: 2

I'm struggling with my social life and self esteem and depression as a result. I was in a car accident close to five years ago in which I suffered extensive injuries but most notably, a brain injury. I was very fortunate as my car accident happened i... View more

I'm struggling with my social life and self esteem and depression as a result. I was in a car accident close to five years ago in which I suffered extensive injuries but most notably, a brain injury. I was very fortunate as my car accident happened in Victoria so I was covered by insurance which covers my medical treatment costs for life. I've also been rather lucky in that my injury does not present at all, even doctors struggle to identify it unless I fill them in on the issues I suffer but I have social issues similar to suffering Aspergers'/autism. My best friend at the time was involved in the events that led to my accident occurring and whilst I was in my coma (3 weeks) and the entirety of my hospitalisation (9 months) she lied to all our mutual friends about how my accident came to be and to some that she was even with me on the night. as a result my friends withdrew from giving me their support and sympathy while I was in hospital and still refuse to this day. i currently can not work or study due to my injury and I have only 3 or 4, (not particularly close) friends. i do volunteer work at the dogs' refuge of WA and as a volunteer education assistant at my localprimary school but I've made no true friends through these avenues as my brain injury prevents me from being particularly social and I suffer bad fatigue plus I do not trust people easily so struggle to keep friends. Im very lonely and if it were not for me having adopted a little poodle just over two years ago I am sure I would have taken my life by now. I need to make new friends and be social to help combat my depression and anxiety, any advice on how to go about meeting new people or social activities to get involved with would be greatly appreciated. Many thanks, Megan.

Evilnut Miracle's do happen
  • replies: 27

Hi I have been on this site for three days. After spending 8 years in the darkness's feeling hopeless and lost. I have had a break thru the last two days have been so fulfilling laughter's no physical tremors or anxious moment. Plus no bad thoughts t... View more

Hi I have been on this site for three days. After spending 8 years in the darkness's feeling hopeless and lost. I have had a break thru the last two days have been so fulfilling laughter's no physical tremors or anxious moment. Plus no bad thoughts the only thing I change was to talk on this site and ask for help which came from every one I wrote to and from. You are all champion's thanks 1 and all I am now looking forward to life one day at a time 1 happy evilnut