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The skill of worrying or minding less? How is it achieved? What does it mean?
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Yes you read the title correctly,
How do we mind less ,
How do we learn not to worry over every thing,
How do we stop getting upset over every comment we feel is not positive.
I would like to discuss ways people have learnt to stop worrying about small things,and
how to not mind about what other people think.
Also how can we stop being reactive and turn that into creative response, not sure how to do this but others may have an idea.
Sometimes we can get angry over lots of things and it is hard to learn how to channel that anger.
I know the more I let things get to me, the worse I feel.
I have always tried hard to do mindfulness but I still struggle.
Maybe if I can stop minding about things that don’t matter I can stop overthinking.
I would like this thread to be a place where we can exchange ideas and share personal experiences about what works for them and what does not.
Feel free to post and let’s get the discussion going.
Quirky
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Aaaah worry. I am quite anxious at the moment but 1 thing keeps popping up. We have a few changes going on at work & are having regular meetings. I have been told the changes with provide opportunities for someone like me. There will be leadership roles & I want one. My name has been put forward for other roles.
1. Between our offices we are all doing things differently. Part of the change involves us all doing things the same way. With a particular process some of my colleagues do a particular thing where as I pass that on to to someone else to do. I feel lost that I don't know how to do it the way the others are doing it. I feel I'm not good enough fir a leadership role as I am not familiar with the way others are doing it. The process will be clarified ,& we will all learn to do it 1 way but it is causing me anxiety.
2. I spoke up in the last meeting about another process. Some of my colleagues are checking spelling, grammar & changing things so it adheres to company srandard. I am not. I said it was micromanaging the people sending the work through & it's not our job to do that. The one's sending the work through should be checking their spelling, grammar & adhering to company standard. Work should be sent through correctly just as we ensure we send work off correctly. I was met with silence but our company COO said he agreed 100% & we need to stop wiping their butts for them.
I told my Team Leader about it as she could see I wasn't feeling so good & she said that speaking up is what they will look for in a leader. That there are others that probably thought the same & didn't say it but they too would speak up & hold their ground. To be honest, by speaking up I was supporting my own people, those of us in this same role that are doing more than they should.
So these 2 things are playing on my mind & therefore other little things are coming along and causing me stress & anxiety/worry cos I'm already at a low/weak point.
Cmf
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CMF
thsnks for sharing you worry . I hope it helped even in a small way to talk about it. It sounds like lots of changes that tbe staff mu adspr ro. Are there other staff who feel like you that you can support each other.
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Hi Quirky
I did feel better. I think others are feeling nervous too but most seem to not be bothered by it.
I think I just have too much on my mind and it's all snowballing.
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So I'm worrying again. Most likely cos I'm feeling so low. I'm worrying I may not be good enough for a leadership role at work. I'm feeling others will be better as I see some trying to be boss now. A few of us are trying to show leadership. I have been told I am one of THE most valuable admin people. I've already ecpressed my interest & have been told the positions will come up in a few months & to keep an eye out. Had a good chat with one of our managers & he said he thinks my name is already floating around as a potential leader. I have been told by another manager that she thinks I'd be an amazing Team Manager. So I have all these positives yet I'm worrying. I worry if i was selected the team wouldn't approve. I shouldn't think this of myself. I've proven my worth over and over. I was so drained end of last week & we had a glitch at work late afternoon. I could not step up as I was so mentally exhausted. This upset me & made me feel like a failure. I do work very hard. They all know that. I'm allowed to feel tired after the week I'd had. Being promoted will mean the world to me. It will make a difference to my life AND I worked hard to get to this point. The closer it gets the more I worry. I just need to have more confidence in myself & my ability.
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I just want to live life. Not live as in in travel & go out all the time. Just live. I don't want to be worry about every little thing. Creating scenarios/things that give me anxiety. They snowball & the worry/anxiety gets bigger. It's always worse first thing in the morning. I just want to wake up feeling good & not worrying about what if this or what if that. I just want to live. Day to day. Just normal living.
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Cmf
I like your statement I just want to live.
I agree I want to be bright and cheery when I wake up and not worry all night and day.
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Learning to worry less and not be overly affected by others' opinions can be a journey of self-discovery and growth.
From personal experience and what I've learned from others, mindfulness can indeed be a powerful tool.
It helps create a pause between our thoughts and reactions, allowing us to respond more consciously rather than impulsively.
Sometimes, it's about recognizing that not everything requires a reaction or deserves our worry.
Another approach that's helped me is reframing situations. Instead of automatically seeing something as negative or personal, I try to consider different perspectives or reasons behind comments or actions.
This can lessen the emotional impact and give room for a more constructive response.
And when it comes to channeling anger or frustration, finding healthy outlets like creative expression or physical activities can be beneficial.
It's about finding what works for you personally.
Remember, it's okay to have these challenges and to seek ways to navigate them.
The fact that you're exploring and seeking solutions is a positive step forward.
Keep sharing and learning from others—you're not alone in this journey.
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leefarrell thanks for your comprehensive reply. It is very well thought out.
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Hi hope everyone is doing OK,
I was thinking about a situation that caused me alot of hurt & anger & have decided to change my perspective about it. It was due to the ending of a 5 yr relationship on good terms that led to reconnecting in an exclusive but non defined way only to find out he wanted to keep his options open. The hurt & anger came from the shock of being complimented, given things only to find he thought he could keep me as an option till something else came along.. There is alot more to it but I've decided to mind less about it, I need to look at it from a different perspective. I am going to look at it as a test of his character. I was enjoying the company but i was not saying nice things about his smile & eyes (like he was to me). It was actually a test to see who he really is. He believes he is a great guy, but a great guy doesn't take an amazing & the best person they know ( his words to describe me) for granted, especially knowing how much he had hurt me & admitted he took me for granted & was angry with himself for this. So rather than worrying how it all panned out & being pre occupied with him & why & how much I now dislike him, I'm going to see it as me testing his character. The test was to see what he was really like & he proved me right. He did say I was a good judge of character & very emotionally intelligent. I'm hoping by looking at it in a different way I will mind less & not worry about it anymore.
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Hi Quirky.
this is my first time on this platform. Thank you for you for sharing.
I over think and it’s my own undoing. My friend has called me an anxious avoider and she’s right. It can be debilitating because I’m not living up to my potential. If I can give any advice is I set myself goals everyday to achieve and keep my mind busy. Exercise and meditation really helps me. Also I took some time to make a great play list to listen to on Spotify while I walk my dog. It’s a great distraction to my thoughts while I sing down the streets. My neighbours probably think I’m bonkers.
hope your having a good day. Sending you positivity.