The alcohol roundabout

[MWV]

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and sometimes boredom leads me to the wine. Classic case of I have depression so I drink, and I'me depressed because I drink. But I would also binge drink when I wasn't a stay at home dad. I just use alcohol to dull my senses a bit. I know all of this is text book, but still wanted to put this out there to see what strategies other people have tried, and to know that I'm not the only one.... Thanks

[Meowface]

It’s actualy wine time for me right now. Because for most people it’s 5pm - that means I can justify my first drink at 4pm (sarcasm). Holding out because I am making more of an effort to be social and have friends coming over for dinner at 6.30. Will keep making lasagne and work on not being half drunk before they arrive!!

[Mary_Rose]

Lilly hi, I'm new here. You mentioned an alcohol counselor where would I look for that. I'm on a seemingly never-ending roundabout at the moment. The old drink to block out things then feel ten times worse the next day. Unfortunately, the relief I get for that small amount of time seems to override that. I have depression, PTSD, and general anxiety. I also have a 15 yr old son with autism. I feel like a twig that's about to snap any minute.

[Nelbow]

The alcohol roundabout.....

I used to be on and off this myself and now off for good.

For a start will power was no good as it was the willpower that got me to the bottle shop when I could barely walk.

listening to a book full of obvious facts with an open mind got me finally away from the booze. the book was called 'the easy way to control alcohol'.

I also stopped reading the news papers, stopped watching tv (still got netflix), stopped listening or watching to any form of media that had the potential to take me from a positive state into a negative one.

be honest with yourself when you ask yourself, do I want to be happy?

[geoff]

Hello MWV, and all the other replies, I have bookmarked this comment and will get back to you tomorrow morning, it's only because I start very early in the morning at about 1.30 am.

It's an important thread that many of us need help with.

Geoff.

[Birdy77]

Hey MWV and all lovely people here 😊

MWV, I really want to thank you for mentioning Annie Grace ... I'd not heard of This Naked Mind, and have now downloaded the first 40 pages as an excerpt and I think I will buy it. I like the sound of it so far, and will see how I go. I like the way she thinks and talks. I see there's a podcast as well, might listen in.

Just wanted to say thanks.

Thanks Nelbow also for the name if that book, I might check it out as well.

Hope everyone is well tonight and doing ok. Be gentle with yourselves. I'm trying to be gentle with me as well.

Strength and peace all,

🌻birdy

[Lilly18]

Hi Mary rose ☺

I was a bit hesitant to go see my alcohol counselor, it was at my local hospital in the drug & alcohol department and i guess I was in denial about how bad I was but seriously iam SO glad I went.

It was great, I had a lady not much older than me for the counselling. I would not be where iam today if I didn't go. Everyday I'd tell myself I will stop but I couldn't do it on my own. Going there made it official for me that I was giving up the drink.

Have you got a hospital close to you? I did have to drive 25mins there, I can't reccomend it enough. That's what they are there for. Let me know how you go

[Tess2]

Hi everyone,

what an interesting and important thread. I too have had periods in my life where I have consistently drunk too much. All the usual excuses. I loved wine o’clock, about 6pm and when I started cooking. I used it to make me feel “normal”. I only drank wine, so did not see myself as a heavy drinker. Over time I just got sick of it, tired of being tired the next day, I didn’t really get hangovers anymore. And so much of the wine now is so mass produced it has little real fruit flavour or complexity. Might as well drink water. So I just stopped about three months ago. I was also incredibly stressed and anxious and not coping at all and needed to change something. I have also found that as I get older I get the effects much more easily and I don’t like that, my tolerance for it is just not there. It was also costing me a small fortune. Since not drinking I have lost 12 kilos, this is not just due to the lack of booze, but it is certainly a contributor. When I am so anxious I lose my appetite. I wAsnt e. EXcessively overweight, but was certainly well more than I should be for a person with a small frame. It has had benefits and I rarely want to drink any wine. Occasionally I think it would be nice to have a glass, but I have rarely been a one glass girl, so I am not risking it. I am not saying I will never drink again, that too is risky, but for now I am happy and I don’t want to put the weight back on. I love feeling really slim. I am back into all my small jeans. I don’t know that I have loads more energy, but I put that down to the depression and anxiety.

I would encourage anyone of you to take the good advice that has been offered by others here and do what you can to change this, it is within your control if you want it.

Tess

[geoff]

Hello MWV, the idea of planning to drink one hour later so instead of it being 2 pm, you wait an hour later, but then daylight savings changes everything because you get to drink an hour earlier and when it finishes you may tend to drink at 1 pm rather than the usual 2 pm.

The deeper or the worse your depression gets you don't care whether it's 1 pm or 2 pm time isn't an issue, you learn how to disguise it better and encourage your family to go out for the day, just so you can drink making an excuse that you have 'to work in the garden and it's a great chance while you take the kids out', or better still someone comes around to see you, so you decide it's a great chance to have a drink.

When I was in charge of 2 pubs the offer by clients to have a drink with them occurred all day, but I had to stick to when I started to drink which was 5 pm.

There were several times I abstained from drinking when I was out of the pubs, I never looked at the clock so I didn't know what time it was and I made sure that I had plenty of fizzy drinks, giving me the feeling of having a full stomach, plus eating as well.

I actually drank tonic water because it had a different taste and thankfully I didn't suffer from any withdrawals, my hands were steady and didn't have any DT's.

I only drink socially for 2 reasons, I don't need to drink like I used to, I'm not suffering from depression and don't want a drink, secondly if I have too much or drink spirits I am most likely to have a seizure because I have epilepsy caused by an assault a long time ago.

Geoff.

[Mary_Rose]

Tess thank you for replying. I totally agree about the age thing. As I get older, I'm 55 I'm not tolerating it very well. I get up tired, grumpy and depressed. I have given it up for a year in the past and that was great. My problem is staying away from it. I think I use it to relieve boredom and loneliness. Anyway, I will be looking for an alcohol counselor today I have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[Nelbow]

Wow!

Sorry almost been a year since I was last here.

That book was by Alan Carr, the easy way to control alcohol