The alcohol roundabout

MWV · ‎05-07-2018

I can't even remember how many times I feel like I've written this or felt like this. I have bipolar & long-time depression and anxiety. I'm finding it really hard to find purpose right now. I'm currently a stay at home dad and that isolation and sometimes boredom leads me to the wine. Classic case of I have depression so I drink, and I'me depressed because I drink. But I would also binge drink when I wasn't a stay at home dad. I just use alcohol to dull my senses a bit. I know all of this is text book, but still wanted to put this out there to see what strategies other people have tried, and to know that I'm not the only one.... Thanks

GAWGA · ‎01-08-2019

I’m am currently over 130 days alcohol free. I can scarcely believe it myself.

I am not here to gloat but to totally empathise. The alcohol roundabout is addictive, depressing, shame based and utterly exhausting. I know. Having spent the last 3 years desperately trying to moderate and ‘failing’. I’ve always drunk took much really.

I am not advertising and strongly encourage you to do your own research but I read lots of literature about quitting alcohol eg alcohol lied to me. I also joined a Facebook group called OneYear No Beer. I will leave it up to you to explore further. This is a paid programme. I am in no way associated with them. I stumbled across it by chance but it is changing lives.

Through that I ended up in a like minded community of almost 8000 people the world over also in exactly the same position. Sharing success and failure with alcohol. I realised I am not alone. Finally I had the connection and support I desperately needed. I didn’t follow the programme just shared in the group and somehow it worked. It was not an easy journey to begin with, it may never be, but I know I have broken the cycle. I hope that you will too. There is another side and it is really good. Not amazing. Not awe inspiring. Just really good and hangover and alcohol free. Every day you try is not a failure x

suewho · ‎14-09-2019

I too struggle with alcohol. I use it to relieve boredom and stress and I think to cover up feelings of inadequacy and fear.

currently I'm alcohol free, but It's all consuming sometimes.

one thing I have noticed about alcohol is that it NEVER solves my problems. it only stops me from thinking about them for a bit. then, next day, next week they're back and worse than before. i think my trouble is that I started drinking early in life, and basically never learned the tools I needed to cope with life without it. Im 50 now, and dealing with a new set of issues, and Im determined to change my old habits. I dont want this year to be a complete waste of time.

paddyanne · ‎14-09-2019

Hi all. I grew up in a house where alcohol was freely available. My dad was an alcoholic, my half brother also went down that road. I did drink heavily as a teenager. I used to think alcohol was THE thing, everyone else drank, why shouldn't I. I was almost an alcoholic, I say almost, because I only drank when I could. I never drank when going to work. I quit well over 2 years ago after going on a binge and waking up feeling absolutely disgusted with myself. I had an on again, off again bf who constantly kept asking me where the pubs were in this area (he is new to the area). He binge drank, which meant he only drank on pension weeks, if he had no money, he couldn't buy booze. He denies any problems with alcohol, saying it's a 'habit'. Because he used to indulge at 'happy hour' 4 till 6, as far as he was concerned, he never drank through the day, so he couldn't be an alcoholic. The myth surrounding alcoholism is: they drink from awake till asleep, this is definitely a myth, my dad never opened a bottle before lunch, then he would drink till inebriated every weekend. Through the week he drank a couple of bottles every night, then have tea, maybe another one or two then bed. I have known alcoholics who never drank till they get home from work. Alcoholism is someone who can't leave drink alone for any length of time. Some never drink till drunk, some sip all day, but never show signs of inebriation. As long as there's alcohol available an alcoholic will be happy. If alcohol isn't readily available an alcoholic will find a way of purchasing or drinking if it's offered. Alcoholism is an illness and should be viewed as such. Once an alcoholic, it's always there. The longer you abstain, the more 'dry' you become and the better life for you.

Winona · ‎21-09-2019

Hello everyone...i am 46 years old and have been abusing alcohol since i was 18 years old...yes..thinking it was the cool thing to do in my teenage years ..grew up with my alcoholic stepfather viciously beat my alcoholic mother..which she was using alcohol to numb her pain. I used to have to bring her a bucket, look after her while she was hungover and bloodied. I was unhappy and self medicated..in which i discovered i am a nasty violent drunk myself. My friends would say that they wouldn't know i was drunk..but i would blackout and become evil. I have been having these blackouts since i was 20 years old. I then became involved in a violent relationship..he would beat me..but i would never back down and fight back no matter what. Fast forward to this day..i drink a 6 pack everynight..wake up..go to work..drink a 6 pack..this is just in the week. Now i am bingeing from Friday afternoon..until Sunday night..using drugs to stay awake...as they keep me alert and i don't get drunk so i can remember. I have tried to stop but i can't..i look forward to Friday so i can lock myself away...but the anxiety with the comedown/hangover is dreadful. Just wanted to share as i try to get my head around..how am i going to do this. Thanks.

Sophie_M · ‎21-09-2019

Hi Winona,

Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you are going through a difficult time at the moment, but it is great that you have taken the brave step to reach out here to those who know how tough the battle with alcohol can be. Just letting you know that we have sent you a private message with some additional supports.

SilvaLady · ‎20-10-2019

Hello,

when I came across this thread, it stuck a cord with me. I have been drinking for last 6 or so years, it started off just drinking on my days off, which then turned to drinking every night. I grew up with alcoholic father, who was drinking every day from the time he woke up. I don't remember much of my childhood, may be because of this.

In the beginning I drank because I enjoyed having few drinks, only about 4 years ago I drank to "forget". Only recently I realized one the reason for drinking was the relationship I had with my mother. I wanted to forget (and escape for a better word) the way she made me feel, being inadequate.

About 3 years ago I did the K10 test on BB and found that I suffered from anxiety/depression. The doctor back, wouldn't give me medication for that until I gave up the grog. But he did all sorts of tests, and informed that my liver wasn't good and kept insisting that it was up to me to give up the drink without providing the support for this.

Only recently my new doctor prescribed me meds for my anxiety, but I have lied to my doctor and myself about my level of alcohol intake. For this I feel ashamed of lying to my doctor and myself.

Everyday I wake up feeling disgusted with myself for drinking, thinking that I would stop on that day. Another reason is I think, as other people mentioned on this post, I just wanted to drown out my own negative thought patterns, but they are still there the next day.

I will bring this up with my psychologist, when I see her next.

Thank you for letting me add to this thread.

SilvaLady

geoff · ‎21-10-2019

Hello SilvaLady, all participation is always helpful for yourself and for others, so thank you.

I can join you when say that your doctor wouldn't give you any medication, as I've had psychologists and psychiatrists who wouldn't counsel me or for the latter prescribe any medication and all of this didn't sit well for me, because if I was given medication then I wouldn't need to drink to numb my problems, all of this happened many years ago.

When your doctor asks you 'how much do you drink per day' I wonder who is honest.

Your GP can prescribe some special medication that will stop the urge to drink, but it will only work if that's your intention and it's something I've tried but you need to change your daily routine.

Thanks for being part of this thread and pleased any question you want.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

WylieB · ‎30-06-2022

I feel so sorry for you. Depression is a terrible condition that leads to bad consequences. I know a lot of cases when depression provoked alcohol addiction.

WylieB · ‎07-07-2022

Quite often, people try to numb their pain with alcohol. Of course, alcohol helps to relax, forget problems and be in the moment. But we must not forget that this is a temporary effect. Alcohol is harmful to health, especially if consumed in large quantities. As for me, I drink alcohol only on holidays. I have a shelf with special alcohol given to me by friends and relatives. This collection only serves as an element of the interior. Recently I added a gin bottle to my collection.

GermanAurelia · ‎10-07-2022

I feel so sorry for you.