Talking to your inner critic, can it be tamed?
Do you have an inner critic ? Have you ever tried to talk to your inner critic. This is what happened when I tried. In my Be yourself thread people asked about how I interviewed my inner critic. So here it is.
This is adapted from a writing exercise to interview your inner critic about one's writing. As my inner critic has an opinion all aspects of my life I decided to broaden the scope of the interview.
Me: I welcome (well I don't really) this opportunity to
find out why you always need to have an opinion that is always negative about
me and my life.
IC: I thought this was going to be a friendly interchange of ideas but there you go with your anger and hostile remarks. I do not see myself as negative but as helping you, because you do need help.
I am here to help you why can't you see that?
Me: So when I am trying to sleep and you tell me about all my mistakes, embarrassing moments, how does that help me?
IC: I thought while you are in bed you would have time to consider some of your past behaviours. This I feel will only help you to improve.
Me: If you are so helpful why do I feel so worthless, so sad, so ignorant when you are around? Do you really know how low I can feel when you are constantly telling me all my faults?
IC: You make yourself feel that way- I am merely pointing out the truth. It is not my problem that you are so weak.
Me: Maybe this was a bad idea you are never going to listen to me or understand me.
IC: Have you ever thought that maybe you shouldn't listen to me if I upset you so much.
Me How can I ignore you when you are so loud at times.
IC: See this is what I mean you are so weak. You have the power to ignore me, to silence me but all you do is whinge and complain.
Me: I am ending this interview. Enough is enough.
What would you say to your inner critic and what do you want to hear from your inner critic? Maybe you can have a go at interviewing your inner critic.
Hello everyone but I am ignoring ICs
Let me know if you get some ideas , others can use, It is just a try and see and practise as much as you can.
That is so sad about the environment you live in not being supportive. Thats when you need to build your own supportive network.
Say what would Quirky or an of your other friends here, Quirky would say ignore the negative comments and believe in yourself.
Of course im only to happy to share if something new pops up thst might help others Quirky.
Right now i have an unsupportive support network. I just gave up therapy because therapist blamed me for having a mh issue and because i wasnt better after 6 sessions ( 2 of those were the introductory sessions) and we are working on trauma. I dont need that i get enough of that from family! so im trying to find a new support network atm. Will get there though.baby steps.
Aww Quirky your so sweet. Hmm i wonder if i said 'Quirky says be quiet' if thatll work 🤔 might try that next time! Just not outloud 😉
Hello Startingnew, Quirky,
I think these psych should listen to their inner critic..it might make them start caring about their patients..Geez, mine just up and dumped me, blamed me for triggering her...yours Startingnew is blaming you for her shortcomings and inability to help you...
Our I/c can be both harmful and helpful..
I also hope you have other support networks in your area...
I have just come across an article, about how to deal with your inner critic. So I will share some one at a time and see what you think.
Try to be aware of your thoughts.
It becomes easy to be oblivious to the messages that we are thinking.
Try to be attentive to what you’re thinking about and recognize that maybe it is not true.
Thoughts can be exaggerated, biased, and lacking perspective.
What do you think of those suggestions.
I know sometimes negative thoughts come in and I accept them then fight them but maybe I could examine the thoughts as soon as they come to me instead of letting them remain and dwell on them.
Thanks CMF, that is a good quotation . We sometimes get so wrapped up in what we are thinking that we need to step back and really analyse it. I often worry about things that never happen or assume people have said something hurtful when they haven't.
Thanks for sharing that.
I feel that people’s inner critics must be cold and quiet and that is good.
i have been challenging any negative thoughts by trying to put them into context and ask if those negative statements are true.
i felt someone was criticising me and I let it upset me but it was not my critic but a person I respected.
Any updates on your inner critics would be welcome.