Strategies for coping wanted

[Tiger_14]

Hello,

I am new to beyond blue and would appreciate any feedback from anyone who has strategies for coping with anxiety and depression.

I have been off work for over 8 weeks since being diagnosed by my GP and Phscologist.

 I am feeling lonely, constantly seeking reassurance and questioning myself.

My current time off consists of  exercising - jogging, swimming / sauna / spa and seeking massages as needed to relieve stressfull thoughts.

Relaxation tapes as a form of meditation help but unfortunately I am constanlty still anxious and frustrated with my progress.

My GP has recommended I continue with exercise as well as taking natural medicine - (St Johns Wart) and provided me with a medical plan to vist a Physcologist every second week.

I am considering asking my GP to prescribe anti depressant medication as I have not seen a lot of improvement in the 8 weeks since my diagnosis.

Any feedback as to what else I should do will be greatly appreciated.

Regards,

Tiger 14

[NicoleP]

Hi Tiger 14

I am sorry that we haven't gotten back to you earlier. I think that you are in a difficult spot at the moment. I had 6 months off work a couple of years ago and found that I was bored - I tried to fill in my time to keep my mind off things but found that the days were very long. I found that I started sleeping in to make my days shorter, which only fed the problem. Because I was unsure when I was going back to work, it was difficult to get involved in anything or do voluntary work and the longer I was off work, the more stressed I got about going back (a very vicious cycle).

From my experience, I think it is important to have things that you need to do each day. It sounds to me like you are keeping yourself occupied which is great. Are you able to join a gym or do some voluntary work so that you are around people and not so lonely. The relaxation sounds fantastic and you are certainly working on your well being. Unfortunately with anxiety, the more you try and push it away, the more it wants to stay. I have found the book 'The Happiness Trap' by Dr Russ Harris a very interesting read. You can see clips on YouTube of Russ which might be of interest you.

Keep doing what you are doing and give it time

[Tiger_14]

Hi KezzaA's,

Thanks for the feedback.

Can you confirm if conventional anti depressants were part of your recovery and if so how long?

I am currently taking natural tablets along with maintaining a mixture of exercise routines throughout any given week.

It has been 10 weeks since I have left work and am feeling a little better, I will need to modify my return to work to reduce anxiety about work pressure - this will be taking place around October - starting with 2 days R T work.

My anxiety seems to fluctuate in waves, I guess I need to look at the possibly conventional meds and  discuss this with my GP.

Just don't know enough about AD and longterm outcome. 

Appreciate any feedback from people in similar circumstance.

Cheers.

[AGrace]

Hi Tiger,

I'm a little surprised by a GP recommending St John's wart, was this as a request from you for natural therapies?

It's worthwhile having the conversation about medications with your GP. I've never really understood the prescription of Antidepressants for Anxiety, my Psychiatrist has me on a mood stabiliser (antipsychotic) for anxiety. You can also take relaxants just as required. So there are a number of options available. It's up to you and your GP to decide what would be best for you, and then it's a matter of trial and error.

You've listed a number of coping strategies, and some (massages) I am very envious of. I can see that Kezza has also added to your list.

Some of the things that I have found helpful are:

Mindfulness - you can google this, my favourite mindfulness guru is Tara Brach. Jon Kabat-Zinn is also a very well renowned guru.

Distraction - When you feel anxious, find something to distract your thoughts. It could be making a phone call, reading a book, watching a movie, listening to music, taking a walk.

Opposite Actions - When you feel the anxiety, do the exact opposite to what your anxiety would want you to do.

Guided Muscle Relaxation - There are heaps of these on Youtube, my favourite is called 8 minutes to calm.

You can also google Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and see if there is one form that you prefer. It's highly possible that the Psychologist will also use these 2 types of therapy with you.

Breathing Exercises - Diaphragmatic breathing does a few things for you. It lowers your blood pressure, it takes up your attention, and it relaxes you. Place your hands on your belly, breath in and watch your belly rise. Breath out and watch your belly fall. Increase the length of your exhalation each time, until the inhale just happens naturally.

I hope some of these are useful. I'd add finally that techniques like these need to be practiced all the time, not just when we feel anxious.

AGrace 

[hemingway]

Hi,

The word "suffering" in regard to depression/anxiety is an apt description.

I came on to this website and have found it so incredibly difficult to simply ask for help. The site is obviously designed by someone who has never "

suffered". I have almost given up.

My issue is that sometimes I think I'm truly going mad. I have an all consuming overwhelming sadness and misery to deal with every day.

I explained to my family that

I suffer depression and anxiety by sending them a nice little cartoon video about a "Black Dog". Their response was to completely ignore, abandon and complain about me trying to act the "victim" all the time and to wise up.

All I have done for them is to be a wonderful provider all of their lives. My crime? an inability to show physical love and affection so I tried to make up for this weakness by giving as much as I could.

Where I come from the word "love" was never mentioned and no one ever touched anyone in affectionate embrace. As a child I was left untouched in a cot because I was so quiet and therefore left alone. All not helped by being

bullied later on in my teens and humiliated by peers and teachers alike.

As I get older I find life is just unbearably painful. All the baggage of regret over mistakes and guilt over not being the perfect loving human being. The sheer misery experienced at school which was once brushed off I now find like a black heavy cloak on my shoulders.

My Psychiatrist tells me to stop one of the chemist provided medications I've been on as it is a "poison". Easy for him to say as he doesn't have to open his eyes to the fear and horror in the early hours. The awful sinking into a black hole defied description.  I'm trying to hold myself together in consulting work where my voice is a critical necessity. Now I find myself slurring my speech with colleagues looking at me askance.

Any help or just a simple understanding would be marvelous.

I am truly desperate at this point and the scary thing is that each day gets worse not better.

Where does it end?

Thanks everyone for listening to my rant.

Kindest regards to anyone who will read this and understand the pain.

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[NicoleP]

Hi Tiger 14

Meds were a part of my 'recovery' or management for depression/anxiety. I was on them for about 9 months, a break of about 6 months and then again for about 12 months. I am off them at the moment but would go back on them if I felt I needed them. I found them to help a bit, but I really needed to remove the cause of my anxiety - once I had done that, then everything calmed down.

I have been through the return to work process. Have you got Workcover or someone to support you through this process? If not, Job Access are fantastic.  I was lucky that I had a very supportive and caring case worker who made the transition to work (with a hostile employer) much easier. I am happy to relate any of RTW experiences if you have any questions.

Stay in touch.

[NicoleP]

Hi Hemingway,

I was very moved and saddened when I read your post. I could relate to what you said about where you came from the word love was not mentioned. The only time the word love was ever mentioned when I was a child was when I did something that my parents could brag about (eg. good marks at school). I now find it hard to show and tell my beautiful children how much I care. I too was bullied at school, and it has carried over into my workplace in varying degrees. I have just been in a situation in which my boss decided that, given that I have had a mental health issue in the past, that it would be appropriate to exclude me and victimise me. I tell you this because I want you to know that others have been there to and it can be a really dark place. I go through patches of everything being great, then something happens in my life, which just triggers all those past hurts. I wish I had an answer for you. I have been on my journey for 8 years now (I split with my parents at the age of 40) and have been moving forward ever since. It has been a journey of ups and downs but I am learning about myself, my behaviour patterns and why I do what I do. It has not always been an easy journey and I continue to make mistakes and fall back into old habits. My anxiety is still triggered by controlling people who resemble my father's parenting technique.

I am sorry that your family were not understanding but unfortunately that has been the response that I have typically encountered. People, unless they have been through it themselves, do not understand. They seem to think that you can just simply get over it. The don't understand the lifetime of events that has created the person that you are. They don't get the all consuming anxiety and the mind that just won't switch off. I read in a book that Radio Doom and Gloom plays 24/7 in your head. They just don't get it. People make excuses for people with a physical injury but don't for mental health issues.

Please keep posting. People in this community understand what you are going through and are here to support you. Please keep posting. There are a lot of people here with a wealth of knowledge and experience who care about who you are, where you have been, respect where you are at, and want to be there to help you move forward.

KezzaA

[Tiger_14]

Hi,

My GP suggested that I use S J Wart and combine regular exercise and visits to a Psychologist (via a medical plan) which my GP has derived as my current treatment for anxiety.

I must admit I was overwhelmed by my status ( @ 8 weeks ago) but  spending my time at home relaxing and using techniques such as mindfulness and progressive muscle relaxation tapes are helpful to some extent.

Sleeping has improved, I mix up my routine daily and ensure some structrure exists.

Exercise has helped but some days it becomes difficult to cope with my anxiety and I am dredding going back to a stressfull work enviroment  !!!

My GP thinks 3 months is roughly the time to see improvements and commence a RTW.

I have a supportive  RTW Manager - he has been helpful and ensures me a graduated return to work  (2 - 3 days a week) with low level work will be the way to go.

I trust my GP but then also I agree with your comment of having further discussions with him in relation to alternative medication - stabilisers and relaxants, I will be interested in his thoughts.

Thanks for the tips on googling mindfulness guru is Tara Brach and  Jon Kabat-Zinn and feedback regarding Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

I will also look into Russ Harris for inspiration and his youtube stories.

The trick is to identify and acknowledge the anxiety and keep up with the self help strategies as you have mentioned.

AGrace, i appreciate your feedback and thanks for listening.

[Tiger_14]

Hi KezzaA,

Can you please explain (as best you can) your feelings towards taking meds.

How long was it  before you felt improvement in your condition and were their any side effects?

I have some reseravations about taking meds at the moment as I don't know enough about them, the side effects and long term outcomes.

MY RTW Manager is very supportive and ensures me a graduated RTW with low level responsibilty will be available for me @ in a months time  - 2 /3 days a week.

My Employer so far have been very supportive and understanding.

Modifying my work responsibilities(short term) will make it easier for me upon my return to work.

In the meantime, I am continuing with exercise (cycling/ swimmimg / jogging / occassional massages) as well as using relaxation therapy (midfullness and progressive muscle relaxation) as part of my recovery.

Most  days are bearable  but still I get a few days where I feel overwhelmed, emotional, lonely.... I guess this is part of my DNA.

I have a wonderful supportive wife and family and my close friends are 100% behind me.

It has been diffiucult to accept my conditon but I am committed and focused in achieving the best out of myself both proffessionally and personally.

KezzaA, thankyou for your feedback and I always appreciate further feedback.

Cheers.

[NicoleP]

Hi Tiger,

Medication - where do I begin? I have tried being on medication and I have tried being off it. There are a number of reasons why. One of the biggest hassles for me is going to the doctor and getting a new prescription - which sounds really lazy. I was seeing a GP in another town who specialised in mental health issues which was an hours drive.  The other thing is that a lot of the time I am OK without them providing that I look after myself. I am working really hard at trying to deal with my issues, my causes of anxiety and the things that trigger my anxiety, rather than trying to Band-Aid it with medication. Thirdly, and probably the main reason, is the issues that I have had at work. I am a teacher and had a workcover claim as a result of work related stress due to bullying. When it came to returning to work, the education department stood me down because they felt that I was psychologically unfit to teach and was a danger to the students. They had me assessed by an "independent psychiatrist". I actually was deemed to be fit for work by the psychiatrist but have been under the microscope ever since, with the department looking for any sign of psychiatric cause to stand me down. I therefore choose not to be on medication primarily to prove that I am well and am fit to teach.

Just be aware, that I am not opposed to taking meds and have found them to be useful but not a cure. My issues are much deeper than that. My issues come from a loveless childhood, a very controlling father and I find certain personalities really trigger my anxiety. I guess I also feel that I need to work on me, how I deal with tricky people and how I view the world. I need to work on me and manage my anxiety and at this point in time, I chose to do it without meds.

Does that help at all? I am happy to answer any other questions about meds (or anything else).

KezzaA