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BeyondBlue Tradies National Health Month
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond... View more

Hi everyone, August is Tradies National Health Month, to highlight the importance of health and safety among Australia’s trade workers. Mental health and wellbeing is crucial to the safety of anyone in the mining or construction industries, so Beyond Blue is hosting a special free webinar for our tradie community on Tuesday 12 August at 4.30pm which you can register for here. We know that Tradies can face unique stressors, with a culture of toughness and difficult job demands that can impact personal time and self-care. It can also be tough for partners and family members who aren’t sure how to support someone in a trade who may be showing signs that their mental health isn’t at its best. If you’re unsure where to start your conversation this is the space for you. Whether you want to share your own experiences, ask questions, or simply connect with others who understand what you're going through, you're in the right place. If you're seeking additional support, here are some resources: Hope Assistance Local Tradies: Home This Is A Conversation Starter: TIACS - This is a Conversation Starter Mates in Construction: MATES - Industry Based Suicide Prevention - MATES Don’t forget - our counsellors are always here for you on 1300 22 46 36. We’ll also use this space to post some of the questions and answers from the webinar discussion. Feel free to dive in and keep the conversation going. Thank you again for joining us — we’re glad you’re here.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Asche Fish out of water
  • replies: 5

Really, this is just whining compared to the legitimate grievances most people on the forums have, but it's been frustrating me for a while and I feel like venting. And who knows? Maybe it'll even be pertinent to others out there. I've had depression... View more

Really, this is just whining compared to the legitimate grievances most people on the forums have, but it's been frustrating me for a while and I feel like venting. And who knows? Maybe it'll even be pertinent to others out there. I've had depression for a good portion of my life. Almost half, in fact, although at my tender age that only rounds out to 10 years or so, give or take a few depending on where you draw the diagnostic lines. To give a little context, I had my first MDE and suicide ideations at 8, and it's been an on-again, off-again tale of whirlwind abusive romance with depression ever since. I spent the majority of those years undiagnosed; as a child I didn't really have the option, as a teenager I hated and feared everyone too much to drag myself to therapy (not to mention that damnable pride), and my parents are from a different age and place, where the entire concept is foreign. I was finally forced to cave two years ago when the 3rd MDE hit during my HSC. It was probably one of the best things that could've happened to me. Thanks to a few lifestyle changes (university is several thousand times less tedious than high school and regular exercise is pretty fantastic as well) and a decent therapist, I've been making progress ever since. Sluggishly, slowly, yes but progress nonetheless. I'm still bonded to the black dog, but rather than trailing in its wake, I'm the one who chooses where I go now. It's still there, but at least this time round I'm the one doing the dragging. It can (and does) slow me down, but at least I'm moving forward now. I've seen the light of the tunnel and have for a good two or so months. I don't know if I'll ever get there, if I can ever get there, but I'm closer to it than I've ever been. So why "fish out of water"? I've been pushing my life forward and recently it seems to have shifted in a big way. I've always been on top of things academically and where professionalism is required, my perfectionism keeps me up to par. Like so many others, the social sector is where I falter. Yet these recent changes are forcing me to work on precisely that. I've had depression for a long time. Anxiety too. They are old, malevolent companions, and I know how to deal with them. I know how to endure their influence and the pain they cause. I can move forward despite the burden they present, slowly but surely. For the sake of my goals, I can do anything. Will do anything. But friends? I haven't the foggiest where to begin.

white knight Different values and their effects
  • replies: 7

It's subjective to the extreme. Everyone has different values on everything be it life, family, friends, ...everything. Had a friend at our house a while back. She commented that her friend is really lazy. She then mentioned she believed she was lazy... View more

It's subjective to the extreme. Everyone has different values on everything be it life, family, friends, ...everything. Had a friend at our house a while back. She commented that her friend is really lazy. She then mentioned she believed she was lazy because "she sleeps in till 11am every morning". So does my wife and I. But I let that comment go. And the reason we should let others make their comments without too much scrutiny is because we should be, to a degree, tolerant. For the sake of peace and general harmony. You can though, pick the judgmental person clearly if you arent too judgmental yourself. Judging someone laziness based on their sleeping pattern is a bit rich. My wife and I like TV shows that are on late at night. That friend of our friend works afternoon shift. and so on. Some are early birds, some not. So what effect do different values have on our mental health? Does being over judgmental display a negative attitude that could hinder recovery? Does negative thoughts and judgmental stance contribute to a tormented mind? so many questions and so few answers. When in recovery you really want to give your life its best chance to not only recover but remain recovered to the best of your ability. It could mean sacrifices. Today, after 6 years I deactivated my Facebook. It was a hard decision. So many friends on there that I know will no longer choose to email me instead, or phone. But following two major instances of bullying, several instances of my own mania dictating my over reactions in social clubs and being caught up in silly comments enough was enough. But more importantly it was time to cut it out of my life as part of my ongoing quest for better chance of recovery. You simply cant have the attitude that recovery is when your medication is ok or you are feeling good for a while. It has to be ongoing. Just like working on a marriage that had broken down. Why should your mental health be any different? You have to keep the effort going, constantly reviewing, always looking at ways to help yourself. Everyone has different values, see life in their own eyes. Everyone has a right to these values. It's part of being free. It only becomes a problem when you judge others by their values too often and too harshly when it alters ones harmony of mind away from any positivity that could be achieved. Extra tolerance of other people, greater acceptance for others values could allow you mind to free up clutter so you can recover better. Hope it helps. Tony

white knight The weighing scale effect on friendships
  • replies: 8

Thirty years ago I was walking along Sydney Road Brunswick. It was 40 degrees. A lady with 3 kids, one a baby, had a flat tyre on her car. I was, due to the heat, reluctant to help her but that soon passed. Before you know it the sweat was running do... View more

Thirty years ago I was walking along Sydney Road Brunswick. It was 40 degrees. A lady with 3 kids, one a baby, had a flat tyre on her car. I was, due to the heat, reluctant to help her but that soon passed. Before you know it the sweat was running down my back as I changed her wheel for the spare. At the end of the task she boarded the driver's seat and drove off. No thank you came. That disgruntled feeling remained in me about that incident for 25 years until I mentioned it on afternoon radio to an announcer. He replied- "did you do it for the thankyou or did you do it to help the stranded lady out?" It was a good point, I'd never viewed it that way. For the first time in my life I reflected about my family's attitude of "if I do this for you, you should do that for me". And furthermore I began to observe this trait in myself further and in my family members. Before long I listened to one family member say "I've rang you 4 times and you've only rang me once" and another "I gave you a birthday gift worth $80 and yours to me was only worth $20. I'd realised that this weighing scale of comparison had been in my family seemingly forever. I had, prior to this event so many years ago, used the same argument on my friends. "I've visited you 5 times last year and you only came to my place once and then it was only to borrow a tool". Do you have a weighing scale in your head? If so, it could be causing you a lot of unhappiness because you will never get it weighing equally. People have different lifestyles, commitments, work obligations, hobbies, friendship and family priorities and chores. It is an area we should not judge too harshly. But then again there are exceptions and that is for you to decide. Mental illness can come with (speaking from experience) annoying thoughts that are exploded in your mind. Comparing others with your own routine, likeness for others, needs and priorities is not fair and can easily push people away. Friends under pressure to visit you when told they should might not be keen to bow to such pressure. Friendship is a fluid thing, for people to come when they feel like it. When under the cloud that follows us around we can become demanding due to disappointment of others. Of course if the friendship is never strong it will not last. But better to have a distant friend that might one day transform to a close one than pushing them away only for them not to want to see you at all. I've done that and I regret it. Dont force conditions on friends.

helpmeplease listening to music
  • replies: 10

sitting here 5.20 am keeping an eye on all my new friends( I feel like you are all my friends) even though we have never met. listening to my normal music. These songs play over and over night after night. there meanings to me all differ but all help... View more

sitting here 5.20 am keeping an eye on all my new friends( I feel like you are all my friends) even though we have never met. listening to my normal music. These songs play over and over night after night. there meanings to me all differ but all help in there own way. you see my music is like therapy for me. songs like 'just give me a reason', 'mad world' 'someday never comes' and 'standing on the outside' are just a few of my favourites. and depending on my mood is how each song makes me feel. I feel as though I can relate to so many of the songs in so many ways. 90% make me cry but then again so does 90% of my life. right now im listening to 'somebody I used to know' and oh its like the singer has stepped into my shoes for this song. big thanks to GA and Suzbj for keeping me company on here tonight. I don't feel half as bad now thankyou. hanging in there, HMP

white knight Realism, you are what you are. It's your nature
  • replies: 6

For those that havent heard of the short story. It was told on the mini series with Nicole Kidman called "The Bangkok Hilton A scorpion wanted to cross a river. He couldnt find a way. Along came a frog so the scorpion that would normall sting and kil... View more

For those that havent heard of the short story. It was told on the mini series with Nicole Kidman called "The Bangkok Hilton A scorpion wanted to cross a river. He couldnt find a way. Along came a frog so the scorpion that would normall sting and kill the frog asked the frog if he could ride on the frogs back to get to the other side. The frog refused "you'll sting me and I'll die when we get to the other side" said the frog. The scorpion pledged he would do that and promised. Finally the frog gave in and the ride went ahead. Just as the frog got to the other side the scorpion stung the frog. As the frog was dying the forg asked- "you stung me and you promised with all of your heart and honour that you wouldnt. "arhh, said the scorpion....but it is my nature" With all the changes we try to implement in our lives tackling our mental conditions I wonder how much we are trying to change that is in our DNA that shouldnt be focussed upon for change. How much of you isnt right? How much is personality and how much is illness? Do you trade some of yourself in order to become well? Do you lose yourself amongst the changes that are made in your quest for inner peace? Sometime ago I had gone through a bad time, for a few months. I was taking medication and it began to work. I was getting therapy and that was working also. Then a friend told me "You might feel like you are improving but I still see the same confused guy as always, the guy that is loud when it suits him and a bit over the top". He could have kicg hit me and I'd preferred it. Such was that comment that I recall so vividly. I dont see him now. What occured was that my friend attacked what I believed to be my personality and not my mental well being and progress. I'm known to be loud when happy, tell jokes and my laugh can be loud. So lets take this a step further hypothetically. If I seek change so much so that my loud laugh goes away....have I helped myself? or have I robbed myself of part of my personality to "get well" eg under so much medication I am no longer me? I'm not advocating reducing your medication in any way. What I'm asking is, at what point do you (if you do) start to lose your personality? Can you keep all of your "nature" of what is your nature and what is there that seems like your personality but is there due to your illness. It appears to me that many of us are criticised for our behaviour because we are mentally ill but all along it is not outside normal boundaries of character.

white knight Feeding your brain
  • replies: 1

You brain is an organ, an amazing piece of ...whatever its is made up of to make it think. I'm no brain surgeon (rocket scientist maybe) but we have consciousness and subconsciousness and all I know is that by feeding it information you think differe... View more

You brain is an organ, an amazing piece of ...whatever its is made up of to make it think. I'm no brain surgeon (rocket scientist maybe) but we have consciousness and subconsciousness and all I know is that by feeding it information you think differently. And that is a vague example of my lack of expertise. Here on BB forums we have often talked about positivity. I'm a believer of this. I have had, in recent weeks become aware of latest research that says that being positive too much when in deep depression, can lead someone into false hope, then disappointment which can lead to the depression being worse. That aside positive thinking works sometimes so we should embrace it whenever we can. I went shopping today. I leapt out of our car to walk 40 metres to the supermarket. Just as I alighted the vehicle an old lady was pushing her trolley to return it to the store. (we dont need coins to return it as this town is too small). I offered to push it back for her allowing her to leave it to me. I thought about this simple gesture. It's effect on me. I felt good, I felt proud and above all I might have set in place an old persons faith in humanity. Effectively I was "feeding my brain". How far can this self brainwashing go? Now that's a question. It can go to great lengths. We can actually program our brains, flood it with good deeds that can alter you perception of your worthiness. How often on this forum have we read that someone doesnt feel "worthy", low self esteem etc.? What can they do about it? Feed the brain might be one answer. And the answers I'm suggesting like good deeds and there are others I'll suggest shortly, are genuinely good things to do for other people. So there isnt any cost. Could simple tasks you do for others subconsciously feed the brain to relieve the effects of depression or self worth without you realising it? Some other actions that can feed the brain could be- - a reward for restraint. eg a small chocolate bar for a week of dieting ( a common action) - voluntary work. (I believe my attendance here this year has fed my brain of the feeling of worth.) - replying to posts here. Often new posters here take advice and return the good will by helping others - talking to yourself in positive ways. You have just had a small accident. "So glad I didnt get hurt" Feeding your brain of positive comments. It works. You might know of other things to help yourself think better.

Lily_28_ can anyone suggest what they do to help?
  • replies: 2

Hi all, So I suffer both anxiety and depression, and was wondering what tips can you give me to just help get through the day or even as soon as I wake up for everyday I feel great anxiety to the point I do not want to get out of bed and face the day... View more

Hi all, So I suffer both anxiety and depression, and was wondering what tips can you give me to just help get through the day or even as soon as I wake up for everyday I feel great anxiety to the point I do not want to get out of bed and face the day. I've been told numerous times that meditation works but I honestly just struggle with the concept as I feel more anxious and/or depressed while attempting it. (Obviously have no idea how to do it properly) Exercise makes me feel better, but I am wondering what do people do to get that motivation to get out of bed and live the day for that is what I struggle with? Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thankyou

Little_Rascal Mood and food
  • replies: 28

Hey, I havent realy seen anything on here about mood affecting peoples eating habbits. When Im up I dont eat, when I'm very irritable and angry I eat EVERYTHING!!!!! and when I'm depressed I loose my appetite also. I was just wondering if anyone else... View more

Hey, I havent realy seen anything on here about mood affecting peoples eating habbits. When Im up I dont eat, when I'm very irritable and angry I eat EVERYTHING!!!!! and when I'm depressed I loose my appetite also. I was just wondering if anyone else has noticed a change in this? Cheers, Cas

white knight Been there done that syndrome
  • replies: 3

Mainly older people suffer it. Middle aged can too. Bored with life? Ok, it's footy season and you have a chance to go to a final...been to one years ago and you see more of the action on TV and you dont have to put up with other spectators. You want... View more

Mainly older people suffer it. Middle aged can too. Bored with life? Ok, it's footy season and you have a chance to go to a final...been to one years ago and you see more of the action on TV and you dont have to put up with other spectators. You want a holiday and you can hook up the caravan and go somewhere but...well...you've been to all the good places around, been around Oz, what else is there to see? You want to watch the news....same old same old, Israel fighting the Palestinians as they have for decades....courts of injustice....murderers getting released on parole when they shouldnt be.....think I'lll walk around the house....must be the 10th time today. You want to buy an item at the shops....nah...will stay at home cause I might bump into someone I know and I'll have to chat. I'm painting a pretty negative picture but in reality it happens to people every day. And this attitude is often not a chosen one, it just comes along. Becoming bored with life can easily lead to a mental imbalance. Dissatisfaction, little desire to pursue what you dont know and what you havent experienced can be the beginning of the end for some lost souls. So what is the remedy? That $64,000 question. Largely it depends on the person and what they have done in their lives. But here are some ideas- -back to basics. When was the last time you valued a blooming flower, watching a sunset or sunrise, waited on a street corner for someone you could help across the bust intersection? Valuing those small thing we take for granted. -captalising on your expertise. Most older people are expert on something. I know of a friend in his 70's in the country. He is a carpenter. He finally bit the bullet and joined the local 'mens shed'. His help has allowed several other men to make toys and wooden puzzles for kids. How many older women alone would love a carpenter to fix a door jam or screen door...all for a cuppa and a chat? -Live in the city and have an open fire? Plan a firewood day. Check with a shire 150-200kms away where firewood is free. Take a picnic lunch. Fill up your trailer. Take your thermas. -City dwellers...have you ever wanted to live in the country? Now might be the time. If you have been there done that and havent lived in the country then I dont think you have "been there done that". Find a regional town about 3-4,000 people. Others can add to the list. But to be stuck in that "been there done that" mentality is not a good one. Get up and do something....keep rolling... WK

AGrace A x 3 - B An equation for Mental Health
  • replies: 4

Hi Everyone, While back in hospital the other week a number of the nurses asked me what are my secrets to getting well and staying well? I had to think long and hard about the answer. I came up with an equation. It has worked for me, and I still use ... View more

Hi Everyone, While back in hospital the other week a number of the nurses asked me what are my secrets to getting well and staying well? I had to think long and hard about the answer. I came up with an equation. It has worked for me, and I still use it every day, it could be something to consider. A formula sounds really simple, so I'll also share with you a quote that was shared with me when I first sought help. "I'm not telling you it's going to be easy, I'm telling you it's going to be worth it!" A x 3: Awareness: Begin with a thorough and accurate diagnosis, and get a 2nd and 3rd opinion if you feel it's warranted. Find out all you can about your mental illness. Be informed, and inform others as best as you can. Be aware of treatment options. If you don't know, ask. Be aware of your limitations so that you can begin to respect these or push them. Be aware of potential triggers. Acceptance: Accept that you have a mental illness, if you can't, no one else will. Acceptance is nothing like giving up or surrendering. Acceptance enables you to work with what you have and move forward. Accept your limitations, only then can you challenge yourself and push them. Accept gentleness, some days you won't get out of bed, but many others you will. Accept that not everyone will be accepting of your condition, and accept that those who refuse to accept it are probably not worth your time, energy, or focus. Accept that now is not forever, and that the only certainty in life is change. Accept help and support, one day the shoe will be on the other foot. Action: Only once you have awareness and acceptance can you take action. Review the strategies you are using to help you manage your mental wellbeing. If it isn't working change it, if you can't change it work with it, if it is working don't stop. - B: Remove the word "Better" from your vocabulary and your goals. Without a comparative context the word better is pretty meaningless. I hear it all the time, "I just want to feel better." or "How do I get better?" If you are going to aim for better then you need to know what better looks like. I never wanted to get better, because it felt so unattainable, instead I decided I wanted an enriched, quality of life despite my mental illness. AGrace