Staying well

3 things. Happy marriage, hobbies and spirit.

replies: 1

1/ What on a daily basis has helped me recover my life to a point of being able to manage it well? I'm talking daily rituals, habits, lifestyle? Marriage. Or defacto or close friendships. Contentment is so important to you daily well being. In some c... View more

1/ What on a daily basis has helped me recover my life to a point of being able to manage it well? I'm talking daily rituals, habits, lifestyle? Marriage. Or defacto or close friendships. Contentment is so important to you daily well being. In some cases a bad or toxic relationship can keep you down continually. I often wonder how many people attend psychiatrist appointments, therapy, have crisis etc all because they dont have a close marriage in the first place. Chasing all over for answers and the answer is separation???? I'm lucky...or rather, I worked toward my luck. I set goals years ago after a failed abusive marriage, to find my soul mate, someone that would make the effort to understand me- equalled to my own effort. 2/ Hobbies. To have a passion takes you to a place of peace. I enter my shed to begin my daily tinkering, place the music from the 1970's on and I'm in my dream place, my man cave. My wife has her sewing room and she loves being there. Passions make progress. 3/ Spiritual peace. You can have your own peace through your own beliefs. This peace, whatever it might be for you can give you a place where your mind is at rest. For me 27 years ago, I found my spiritual home to follow the words of Maharaji. I'm not religious but Maharaji takes me to so many level of peace, I find I'm in my own world with a smile. Topics he has on Youtube include- Sunset, the perfect instrument, the journey of life, the source of joy, fullfillment, the infinite within, the rythym of clarity, Enjoy

SUCCESS!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment

replies: 3

Capital letters for success. So I can tell the world that managing mental illness successfully is possible.Raised in outer Melbourne suburbs my first problem was that I was a country kid living in the city. We'd spend 6 weeks around xmas in Tasmania ... View more

Capital letters for success. So I can tell the world that managing mental illness successfully is possible.Raised in outer Melbourne suburbs my first problem was that I was a country kid living in the city. We'd spend 6 weeks around xmas in Tasmania on a dairy farm and it was ace. Only to return to a city I hated. I had an incident when I was 12yo that changed my life. My brother near drowned in our backyard pool.I stopped talking for 3 months. Not one word.Then at 17yo I joined the RAAF and at 18yo the wheels fell off DUI, lost my license, drunk all the time. I lasted 3 years there.I worked at Pentridge Gaol, the youngest prison officer in the jails history.I thought I was a full man when I joined, soon to realise I had a way to go. My brother took his own life and I knew I couldnt return to that dungeon. I had as many jobs as cars them days. Bought and sold on impulse not realising at all that this was immature not to mention financially silly.First marriage lasted 11 years, two daughters.Her silence ended that bond.If ever one person could hurt a talkative man like me its to ignore him completely...for up to 6 weeks at a time. I was a wreck and I started writing my poetry. It turned into my therapy. 2003 at 47yo and I attended a psychiatrist who diagnosed bp 1 and ADHD. I was then running my own business as an investigator. I travelled around 500 kms a day. That medication made me run off the roads so often. I tried walking around the car, drinking sugary soft drinks you name it. 2009 and another psych diagnosed me with bp 1, dysthymia, depression and anxiety.I had some ADHD when younger but he said it was mostly mania. add the correct meds this time and I didnt realise at the time my life would change for the better 10 fold.What was interesting was my new psych's assessment of the near drowning incident when I was 12yo. This, he said sparked off the dysthymia, a type of depression. Even though I made such progress I still had two emotional episodes early and mid 2013.I could no longer work at all and wound my business up. We are now on the pension.Such a change took a huge relief off my shoulders and by April 2014 I was ready to fill in some of my day helping others here on this site. Some of the changes since 2009 include- move to a small country town, got a hobby, no more toxic people (including my mother sadly as she likely has BPD in the extreme), good financial plans etc Success is being able to manage your illnesses. You have to believe it's possible.

Dealing with Day to day life

replies: 1

Hi all, I am new to the website and wanted to share my story because it is easy to talk about it when I am typing on a screen while face to face conversations about this are still very difficult.I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for a ... View more

Hi all, I am new to the website and wanted to share my story because it is easy to talk about it when I am typing on a screen while face to face conversations about this are still very difficult.I have been a sufferer of depression and anxiety for a number of years now and last year I had 15 ECT procedures. The disappointing thing to come from that is I have lost some significant memories like my wedding which upsets me greatly. As a male who grew up in a family that believed all males must be strong and never be seen to fail. As a husband I feel like I have failed because of this illness. It is frustrating because unlike a broken bone you don't know when this will end. I have been lucky that the friends I have are very supportive and one in particular gave me an opportunity to work in his company by making me a role. I am now general Manager which I am proud of. The days still come by where the dark clouds hover above me and I still struggle to deal with them and certain situations. I am someone who is prepared to listen and help anyone out that I can to ensure they don't suffer like I did. No one deserves to go through what I have been through and if I can help one person then I have achieved. Dealing with day to day life is a constant battle and I would love to hear other peoples success stories on staying strong and fighting this thing head on. Thanks for listening. Dale

I finally started enjoying one of my old hobbies again!

replies: 3

So I used to love sculpting figures out of clay, I made stuff like the shark from Jaws and the Winter Soldier from Captain America. I had someone vandalized one of them which left me sad and embarrassed and for a long time I refused to do it. But aft... View more

So I used to love sculpting figures out of clay, I made stuff like the shark from Jaws and the Winter Soldier from Captain America. I had someone vandalized one of them which left me sad and embarrassed and for a long time I refused to do it. But after the heartbreak with my community play turning out awful I finally decided to give it a shot...and I actually built and completed a model! I'm seriously happy! Whilst I'm not feeling entirely better and still have a long way to go I'm so glad that I finally managed to do it! That's one thing down but quite a lot to go. But still a victory! Thanks for reading!

Today Was a Good Day

replies: 6

When I was 15, my best friend ended her own life. I did everything I could to keep her here, I arrived too late and that sits with me every day. Although part of me knows that it is not my fault, I still shoulder the blame every day that I should hav... View more

When I was 15, my best friend ended her own life. I did everything I could to keep her here, I arrived too late and that sits with me every day. Although part of me knows that it is not my fault, I still shoulder the blame every day that I should have done more. I relive the moment in my head each night when I fall asleep. Some nights I even save her but then I wake up and she is gone again. Sometimes I forget her face, so I see my own face. It haunts me like it were yesterday, but as of November 3, it will be 9 years.I am not a suicide risk, but I do suffer from depression. I find that crazy because I have done a lot in my life which I tie to living out what my friend and I always spoke about. I regularly travel the world, I always have a well paying job, I have friends that would do anything for me but I am never happy. I feel like every smile is forced, every conversation is exhausting, when people ask me to do things I get annoyed and agitated. I have this person in my head screaming at me because I don't feel like I deserve to be happy. I am always angry, even when I have nothing to be angry about. I am alive and she gave up, and that sits with me all day, every day.A year ago my three year relationship ended. It hurt don't get me wrong, but I constantly found myself questioning my feelings and if what I felt was even love. Some days I would look at my partner and I felt nothing, I would spend days numb to any positive emotion. My depression comes in tidal waves, it fills me with dread, doubt, paranoia and self loathing. It crashes into my life and often destroys the relationships I have built up around me. I feel like I sabotage myself, and I set myself up to fail. It feels like I am caught in a rip, and no matter what I do, I can't get back to land. I have been particularly bad of late, I feel like I am going a little insane. I have avoided all social events, even those with my closest friends. I rarely leave my room, I just sit there content with not moving. Yesterday I told someone about how I feel and today I feel better for it. I might not have gone into detail, but I said enough. I haven't been hit by a wave today, I think I even smiled. . Sometimes the smallest of conversations can make the biggest difference. Today was a good day

Why I cried today

replies: 3

It's been a week or more since the build up began. I could feel it coming. That welling in my eyes as if Niagra Falls was on the brink but it wasnt coming until this morning. Compassion. It's a strong word. It is, in my world at least, essential to m... View more

It's been a week or more since the build up began. I could feel it coming. That welling in my eyes as if Niagra Falls was on the brink but it wasnt coming until this morning. Compassion. It's a strong word. It is, in my world at least, essential to my character. I'm not boasting, I'm relating. To you, yes you that is reading this. I've been on this forum for 6 months and I, for once feel safe. A place we can share and be compassionate understanding and grateful. This place is so valuable money cannot buy its replacement. There is no room for criticism of this place. If it comes it is due to the very few that have their own issues with coping that cannot read our stories of pain. So they need help from elsewhere. Recently we had a regular dear member that lost his close mum and then there is all the funeral arrangements that would drain and test any of us. There has been some brave new posts one of which comes to my mind "think b4 you act"....how amazing as he faces his umpteenth operation to repair damage to his body. There are long term posters struggling to keep their heads above water even after more than 500 posts but they hang in there asking, learning and then, the most important thing....putting advice into action. And there are the young posters lately that have taken my breath away with their honesty and maturity beyond their years. Some as young as 15yo that are not even adults. Well done. I salute those here that give advice to others, yet if we all knew their own life's history we would be astounded how they have come to a point whereby they can give help to others. Simply amazing. This forum is about more than support . It's about sharing between equals. Equals? Yes, we are all equals. A seemingly small issue for one person can be near the end of their world. So we cannot judge what is major and what is not. For that person with the 'small' issue could very well manifest into a life struggle. Or they could turn into a great adviser here. Each of us is valued. Each of us is a link in a recovery chain. More than support, this site is growth by learning, strength by reaching out and a service by listening. So I figured out why I cried this morning. It wasnt a long cry but a short one. I cried because I'm happy. I have a home here.

Knocking down the brick wall

replies: 2

I am after some advice. I have built a brick wall around myself in regards to my anxiety an depression. I realise I need help and am seeing a psychologist as well as being on medication. I have only just started to see the psychologist and I am scare... View more

I am after some advice. I have built a brick wall around myself in regards to my anxiety an depression. I realise I need help and am seeing a psychologist as well as being on medication. I have only just started to see the psychologist and I am scared that he won't want to help me if I keep the brick wall up. I was abused as a child (sexually and verbally) and built the wall to protect myself. How can I take the wall down so that the real me will shine and I can get my self esteem back? Thanks.

Music is my saviour

replies: 3

Like i said previously, this is my first time here and if i'm posting to much I apologise. I was just wondering if others felt like music was their saviour? It doesn't matter what genre, what artist or what band? But does it feel like music takes you... View more

Like i said previously, this is my first time here and if i'm posting to much I apologise. I was just wondering if others felt like music was their saviour? It doesn't matter what genre, what artist or what band? But does it feel like music takes you away to another place where the depression can't get you?? x

I didn't believe it but things can get better.

replies: 2

I know its been a long time since i last posted. I was in a bad place. And i didn't know how to get out of it. So i did what i thought i would never do. I reached out to my GP. With his help i managed to see a phycologist and eventually a psychiatris... View more

I know its been a long time since i last posted. I was in a bad place. And i didn't know how to get out of it. So i did what i thought i would never do. I reached out to my GP. With his help i managed to see a phycologist and eventually a psychiatrist. I started on some medication which has transformed my depression from a crippling disease of my mind to a small blip on my personal radar. Dont get me wrong. Im not cured of this illness. But im so much better. I followed peoples advice. Grace gave me inspiration to visit the NGV which i did. I took my camera back out and started taking photos again. I got away in my campervan to Lorne a couple of times and enjoyed being close to the beach and close to nature. And i tried to rediscover myself. And for the most part i was fairly successful. So yeah i still have doubts. And i still fear that night that i dont get any sleep and then i slip back into that depression. But its been about 3 months or a bit more now and i havent reached that place again. I will admit, i do think that day will come, im still scared of it. Im still not ready to reach out for help dealing with the abuse i suffered. Thats a pain that needs to wait a bit longer. But i know now that things can get better. I have been able to reconnect with a couple of people in my life. And with my work. And most importantly, with myself. So for anyone who is at rock bottom, or getting close to it, keep this in mind. Things can better. Things can change. And people can change. If you dont know what else to do or where to turn, then find at least one person, GP, friend or family. Even this forum. And make that your starting place. If you dont reach out, you will never grasp that hand that is waiting to help you up. I know for many people it seems just out of reach. Always out of reach. But once you grasp it, it can pick you up. Thanks to the forum and its supporters for your king words and support and suggestions. Although i didnt post i still followed along. Take care everyone.

Ostracised? whos fault is it?

replies: 16

I love clarity. Clarity leads to understanding leading to peace and progress. I've long wanted clarity in my world of being ostracised. Three auto clubs in 25 years and all three end up ostracising me from their cliques that resemble predator vulture... View more

I love clarity. Clarity leads to understanding leading to peace and progress. I've long wanted clarity in my world of being ostracised. Three auto clubs in 25 years and all three end up ostracising me from their cliques that resemble predator vultures on a beach of insanity. Who's fault is this? Based on the obvious that many of us have extreme behaviour in that some of our actions and words are outside the normal range of commoners we are seen as different, weird and many actions/words, as they originate from our own decisions there is someone that is obvious to blame- us. Clubs rely on character. "Joe is a top bloke because he's funny", "Mary is wonderful because she always cooks a slice and is the quiet type". "Tony is a trouble maker, always finding conflict". They often bandy around the word "family" to describe their group only to find at the cemetery gates who their real friends are. And that leads me to a point. We the extreme ones have good points. We are usually extreme where it matters, kindness, compassion, loyalty. Whereas our toxicity is seen as- no fun to be with,weird,trouble maker,confused,quiet type or rowdy not in between,always talking about illness, meds and treatment.Clearly the negatives in many eyes outweigh the positives. Who's fault is it? Well based on the phrase "forgive them for they dont know what they do" the masses can be forgiven IMO. Yes, most dont want to make effort to understand, accept and support us. It's too much work when all they want to do is have fun. A physical injury/disability of a member is in their face, they can easily and wantingly assist. But mental issues are too hard. Forgive them, yes we can, it isnt easy but it is the only way to move along in our word filled with enough troubles for us to balance in our daily lives. What about us? If they are not to blame then we are to blame? We are to blame for inheriting an illness?Also for odd behaviour? And for our illness that engulfs us so much that we cannot stop mentioning it? We are to blame for our childhood? It's all our fault surely? No it isnt. We are not at fault. We are not one of "them" that fit in.And the harder you try to get in that inner core of popularity the worse the problem gets.You can sneek in though,if you are the very quiet type, speak little and smile a lot. I have a good friend that does that and he has deep depression.Members of two clubs. So clarity of this is now clear. No one at fault. And forgive them for "they dont know what they do."

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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All discussions

3 things. Happy marriage, hobbies and spirit.

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SUCCESS!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment

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Dealing with Day to day life

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I finally started enjoying one of my old hobbies again!

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Today Was a Good Day

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Why I cried today

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Knocking down the brick wall

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Music is my saviour

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I didn't believe it but things can get better.

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Staying well

A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members replies: 715

3 things. Happy marriage, hobbies and spirit. replies: 1

SUCCESS!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment replies: 3

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I finally started enjoying one of my old hobbies again! replies: 3

Today Was a Good Day replies: 6

Why I cried today replies: 3

Knocking down the brick wall replies: 2

Music is my saviour replies: 3

I didn't believe it but things can get better. replies: 2

Ostracised? whos fault is it? replies: 16

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3 things. Happy marriage, hobbies and spirit.

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SUCCESS!! 53 years of hell now 5 years of contentment

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Knocking down the brick wall

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Music is my saviour

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I didn't believe it but things can get better.

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Ostracised? whos fault is it?

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