Staying well

I've reached a happy, stable place!

replies: 1

Hey all, Ive had a 10 year long struggle with depression and a life-long struggle with anxiety, and have recently come to terms with my diagnosis as bipolar 2. I have in the last 12 months reached a very content, stable and well place despite a few h... View more

Hey all, Ive had a 10 year long struggle with depression and a life-long struggle with anxiety, and have recently come to terms with my diagnosis as bipolar 2. I have in the last 12 months reached a very content, stable and well place despite a few hiccups.I have joined the BlueVoices, and have recently dedicated myself to coming to these forums to offer others advice on services and support available. So I like to offer support and hope as a person who has recovered to lead a normal, happy life. Some ideas I like to remember and offer: 1. Therapy is key. There are many different types of therapy, so find the therapy that's right for you. ACT therapy changed my life and my entire outlook on not only my life but my "illness" (quotation marks). 2. I reject the term "mental illness". I prefer the term "mentally interesting" or "different". Yes our "issues" can causes us immense suffering and grief. But through challenging and overcoming the bad parts, we can embrace the good parts. My battle has given me strength, courage, determination, and great tenacity. That's cool! 3. Some of the greatest artists, inventors, musicians and comedians in the world were thought to have (or did have) mental illness. Mozart (depression), Beethoven (bipolar), Buzz Aldrin (depression/ alcoholism), Jim Carrey (depression), Charles Dickens (depression) were just some. 4. I believe those of us with depression and bipolar etc can achieve great feats of inspiration, creativity, inventiveness and musical talent when we learn to divert our energies into healthy hobbies. 5. I believe that the current social stigma that mental "illness" means theres something "wrong" with us and needs to be "fixed" is incorrect. I believe we need help to manage the extremes of our moods, and prevent depressive relapses. But everyone needs help sometimes. We are different, not damaged. As I said, we have an amazing ability to develop great personal insight, phenomenal inner strength, and highly developed creative skills/ talents. I believe in learning to cope with the bad stuff our issues throw at us, so we can get to a stable and well place and divert all that energy into talents, hobbies and careers so we are truly amazing, interesting, gifted people. So I offer this as hope for others. Don't become your diagnosis- its only a medical term, a little diagnosis box. You're a person, and there's so much more to you that can never fit into a little medical diagnosis box. Embrace you!!

Short term strategies

replies: 1

Ok, it's been nearly six months since being discharged from hospital, and I'm still recovering from my depression. I must admit that since then the bottle has been a comforter but I'm really trying to stay off that by focusing on other, positive stuf... View more

Ok, it's been nearly six months since being discharged from hospital, and I'm still recovering from my depression. I must admit that since then the bottle has been a comforter but I'm really trying to stay off that by focusing on other, positive stuff and coming up with short term strategies for those times when I find my headspace getting overwhelmed like the proverbial tornado it becomes (and when it's raining!). I want to share two of them with you all: The first is the TV show "Too Cute" on Animal Planet, which shows puppies and kittens from 0-8 weeks and their antics. The other is standing out in the rain of a summer afternoon and breathing in the air (providing it's safe and you're not risking getting struck by lightning!). Any other ideas?

Adapt to life after depression

replies: 5

Hello! Background: I’ve been through endogenous depression for 10 year (I call it my inner Odyssey for that) and than I got a whole year of apathy – because nerves were hurt after dealing with traumas.And now finally it’s over. And I don’t know how I... View more

Hello! Background: I’ve been through endogenous depression for 10 year (I call it my inner Odyssey for that) and than I got a whole year of apathy – because nerves were hurt after dealing with traumas.And now finally it’s over. And I don’t know how I feel.I always thought I will be happy immediately after dp is over. But I am not.I feel a lot of space in my heart and in my mind after dark thoughts and emotions left. But positive stuff isn’t just streaming down to feel this space like I’ve imagined.I feel empty. At first I even felt paralized – facing the world as a healthy person again. Much more responsibility, much more opportunities. So little confidence and experience. Now I’ve made a plan, a technique to keep me moving. I’ve set some good goals. And I manage to move. But it’s like 2 steps forward – 1 step back. And I’m often afraid that I’ll never get to the speed of life again. That I’ll never become energetic, successful, never feel the drive which I dreamed of through my whole Odyssey with dp. Question: Is adaptation to life always so slow after depression? Does anybody have experience? Is there a way to speed up reconnection with life? Any advice?For those still in dp: hold on, it’s not for nothing. I know, I’ve been there. It’s not immediately all-happy after, but it’s much better. And getting better step by step. May the Force be with you ) Thank you

Recovery!

replies: 3

I thought I would maybe share my success story, For around 3 years now I have been dealing with depression, anxiety (Around 6 years), anorexia nervosa and borderline personality disorder (BPD), I had been on and off with recovery, not really sure whe... View more

I thought I would maybe share my success story, For around 3 years now I have been dealing with depression, anxiety (Around 6 years), anorexia nervosa and borderline personality disorder (BPD), I had been on and off with recovery, not really sure where I was going. This year was by far the most dangerous and emotionally draining. It was the year where I wasn't sure I was going to make it out alive, I had no hope and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. Abusing alcohol and drugs, self harming and anything to make me feel. But this isn't a sad story, not at all. It has a happy ending. just like every recovery you have to choose it, you have to honestly want it and you have to fight for it. I lost many many friends during this time, I lost support and I lost myself, but I had people around me who wanted me to stay and fight, so everyday they would get me through the tears and pain, they would be up with me all night keeping me safe. My psychologist worked so hard with me, and got me to a point where I was almost alive again, I worked on my diet and lifestyle and balancing both of those aspects. It was 3 months ago when I was last on this website, and it was a terrifying time for me, I was almost placed in hospital against my will, now here I am finding myself again. Picking up the pieces and putting myself back together. I am 3 (!!!) months clean from self harm, as well as 3 months clean from drugs and cigarettes and 1 week clean from alcohol which has been my biggest substance abuse and it will take a long time to get over. If I had three tips for anyone suffering I would say 1. Don't give up, I know it seems like thats the best option but its honestly not. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I didn't see it for a very long time but now I can, I can see that little light becoming brighter and im not going to let it go! 2. Relapse is inevitable, this sounds hard and it is. Relapse is a part of recovery, there are days you are going to give up and slip, but the thing is every single relapse you learn, and you learn how to avoid it and you learn how to pick yourself up again 3. Be yourself, this one sounds odd right? For the whole of my life I have been someone who adjusts myself to others, I had a different 'personality' more like a different act for every friendship group so they would accept me, and what I have learnt is if you have to change who you are for others, then they really aren't your friends. Don't give up, & stay strong xxx

Facing the emotional brink

replies: 1

If you are reading this you have likely been there or your partner has. It is when your emotions, due to a situation, slips down the control slide. At the bottom of that slide is tears, desperation and hopelessness. That feeling is almost indescribab... View more

If you are reading this you have likely been there or your partner has. It is when your emotions, due to a situation, slips down the control slide. At the bottom of that slide is tears, desperation and hopelessness. That feeling is almost indescribable. Some feel, when in this condition, that there is no future, no present and no past. You just dont care.I attended a therapist a few years back. He was clever and direct. I told him that 2 days prior I was in such a state. He said what were you going to do? I told him that I have, when in that state, a strong urge to walk into the bush away from ALL human beings and just survive day to day "in the wild". He then looked into my eyes closer than usual and said firmly "you would last about 3 months". I took that as I would not survive in any living way due to my inability to care for myself and my depression. It was after that meeting I strived to find the happy medium between a large population town (for me that was 4000 people upwards) and "the bush" My destiny became a town of 200 people 15 minutes drive from that town of 4000 people with all its facilities.. .I found the right balance. Why is this so important to this thread? Because there were some issues in life that caused me to regularly find myself in that desperate, sorrowful and deep emotional position. I was unstable.My point being, that ones decisions in life and lifestyle can make a bearing on your overall happiness thereby downloading to less times you find yourself at that "emotional brink". How important is this? Well that emotional brink can take you to your own demise...its that important. We simply cannot underestimate the seriousness of maintaining control of our emotions to a realistic level. We cannotlose total control. And to maintain control we have to introduce a plan so you and others aren't hurt in the long term. Use search to read the thread - think b4 you act The best time for this plan is when you are mentally sound. Accept that another bout will come and plan your tack on it. eg I will not walk away from my home, I will write down my feelings, I will keep my voice low volume and not yell at others, I will allow time to pass because in time things settle.You will put strategies in place not to feel emotional but so those emotions dont lead you to a place that you shouldn't be. A place that would also hurt those you love. We plan many things in our lives. We should plan what we do when we arrive at our emotional lows. Tony WK

Functioning again!

replies: 2

I didn't think I could ever rejoin the workforce again. My panic attacks were out of control. It got so that I couldn't even leave the house or receive visitors. I was so afraid of having a panic attack that the fear of having a panic attack would ma... View more

I didn't think I could ever rejoin the workforce again. My panic attacks were out of control. It got so that I couldn't even leave the house or receive visitors. I was so afraid of having a panic attack that the fear of having a panic attack would make me have a panic attack!!! In the 1980's it seemed that GPs weren't very aware of symptoms of depression. After many years of being prescribed sedatives I finally found a GP that recognised my symptoms as 'depression'! Only because his wife had suffered similar symptoms and he'd made it his business to understand it! I thank God for this doctor even to this day because he set me on a course of treatment that made me feel normal again. He prescribed some medication for depression. I told this doctor that I am not depressed.!! . I don't feel sad at all! He explained that there are multiple 'facets' of depression and that chronic anxiety, panic attacks, obsessiveness, unwelcome thoughts (intrusive thoughts) were all associated with It and it comes from the brain lacking in certain chemicals that can be replaced by medication. I asked the dr why I needed these chemical replacements for my brain and he explained that some times people are under stress for such a long time ( either real or perceived ) that the glands that produce 'seratonin' . ...The stress relieving chemical... Is worn out and can't produce it anymore..it has to have some help to work again. That's what anti depressants do. So anyway I'm a 53 year old grandmother now and working and functioning normally only because of the anti depressants I take daily( 30 years now functional!!) al e t

Anxiety and depression hand in hand

replies: 3

I was shocked to hear that my anxiety issues were linked to depression. When I researched 'depression' i discovered that obsessiveness, compulsions , intrusive and bad thoughts all linked to depression. I had thought I was going crazy but it turns ou... View more

I was shocked to hear that my anxiety issues were linked to depression. When I researched 'depression' i discovered that obsessiveness, compulsions , intrusive and bad thoughts all linked to depression. I had thought I was going crazy but it turns out to be a chemical imbalance in the brain that is easily treated with medication!! Yay!!!!!

Hard work

replies: 2

Its funny how we interpret what hard work is. Some may assume it is the physical part that people need to do and that can be simply because they enjoy it. My hard work description is for the many many hours of learning about just how it was I was sup... View more

Its funny how we interpret what hard work is. Some may assume it is the physical part that people need to do and that can be simply because they enjoy it. My hard work description is for the many many hours of learning about just how it was I was suppose to be feeling throughout my life.That thing everyone else appeared to have but me. Its been 14 years since I admitted I needed help with depression because it really did get to beyond anything I could deal with today.I wanted out completely and that is just because I was fed up with having to expect myself to be running on everyone else's timeline. To do what was necessary and expected of me for what ever role I was put in or thought I should be doing. Today with all the avenues that are available to all of those reading this. I selected the best one now and that is me. those of you who do not believe they will ever get to the stage of feeling ok I hope you will hold on for the moment to basically click in a way that you understand because this is the way it has happened for me. I understand about myself now and I am not finished yet as I still trip up but that is fine with me.I can always apologize to myselfor check why I tripped and correct it. No different to correcting a spelling error so the word makes sense. I know how frustrating it can be with the meds but I have managed to get to not taking any now so I can only hope that this will show it can be done but off course I know that each person needs to move in their own way and time. I would never suggest anyone to come off anything just through reading something empowering. Have faith in yourself to find your way and feel ok about it. There are no instant answers for depression only time. Time to spend learning about everything and anything and putting it together for self. All the best Giggling definitely helps alot. Giggles

Yay!! I'm feeling really hopeful!!

replies: 1

Hi all, I posted last week feeling quite overwhelmed, anxious and depressed as even though I've been getting therapy for 3 years and have made many lifestyle changes, I eas still having massive problems trying to find a medication to help. Several pe... View more

Hi all, I posted last week feeling quite overwhelmed, anxious and depressed as even though I've been getting therapy for 3 years and have made many lifestyle changes, I eas still having massive problems trying to find a medication to help. Several people responded with words of comfort. I rang BeyondBlue, and from there saw my GP and spoke to my psychologist, and from there got referred to the emergency psych team for my area as obviously I was under considerable distress, made worse by the long waiting list for psychiatrist. M i have several medication intolerances and severe reactions so I was quite upset and distressed about not finding a medication that wouldn't make me very ill. I've obviously tried to deal with it through therapy alone but my quality of life has been really low- constant nausea, insomnia, multiple panic attacks, depressive symptoms, sudden mood swings. Haven't been able to work for 6 months. anyway all those lovely people at the emergency psych team, my psych, BeyondBlue, all the people who responded to me here.. It all finally added together and I got a psychiatric review. Started led a new tsblet 2 days ago- it's not an antidepressant or a benzodiazepine- it's something else (I know we're not supposed to name medications here so I wont.). I was told it would begin to work straight away but the very best effects would be seen after 2 weeks. the last 2 days have been the best days I've had in 6 months (probably in years to be honest). I've had 2 fantastic nights of really good sleep- waking up feeling refreshed, I've had no nausea at all (none! That's the first time in years!!), I'm eating decent food and have an appetite, I feel really quite calm. Like not zombied out- I still care about stuff. There's been 2 majorly stressful events happen in these 2 days (my bf got admitted to hospital emergency, and I rang into someone from my past) but weird thing is- Id normally be vomiting, nauseous, panicking, this kind of thing would normally freak me out but I'm FINE. Obviously i still care- in still concerned- but im not flipping out. I've had no mood swings, no panic attacks, nothing that usually stresses me (like driving in traffic) is stressing me- like its a bit annoying but totally fine. This is fantastic!! Is this how non-anxious people feel? Is this what a normal life is like? Obviously it's still early days so it could get even better!! i had had to share the happy news!!

Two Wolves

replies: 3

If there is one story that defines what goes on inside me - then it is this. It is reproduced from my martial arts blog: "This next piece is going to be a confession of sorts. Honesty that is not usually spoken out loud but takes place in all of us a... View more

If there is one story that defines what goes on inside me - then it is this. It is reproduced from my martial arts blog: "This next piece is going to be a confession of sorts. Honesty that is not usually spoken out loud but takes place in all of us at some stage. The situation took place recently. My instructor stood at the front of the class with his highest ranks next to him. I was one of them. He announced to the class that there were some brown belts looking at black belt and how excited he was at the prospect. The black belt on my left nudged me, as if to say the instructor was talking about me. I looked at him and shook my head as if to say, "No he doesn't mean me." Hang on, why not? And where did that negativity come from? Then I thought maybe I am my own worst enemy when it comes to backing my judgement and belief in myself. Maybe I am holding myself back from going to the next level. Maybe focusing on what I have achieved is stopping me from what I can achieve in the future. Ouch, that’s ego. Surely not me. Surely after 30 years plus of training I would possess the tenacity of a lion when it comes to achievement in any martial art. What happened was the ‘human’ side of me surfaced. The voice of the teenager who originally started martial arts to become confident still sits in there. Refusing to admit that this alter ego no longer exists is the same as believing that your instructor was always a black belt. Everyone struggles. Everyone has self doubt. Those who stick with their struggles overcome them in the long run. It is just a matter of time. The Rain Dance Researchers some time ago heard about a tribe in Africa that had a 100% success rate with their rain dance. Other tribes recorded a 50/50 success rate (sometimes it rained, sometimes it didn’t!) When they tracked down this tribe, they looked at the type of dance, the location, the words they used and everything they did in their particular ritual. Everything matched what other tribes did. They found no reason to have such an incredible record. Then one variable surfaced that made all the difference. They danced UNTIL it rained. So as humans wanting to achieve, it seems we underestimate the power of Osu No Seishin – Perseverance Under Pressure. So what now? Keep moving. The confidence and calmness that you desire lies on the other side of difficulty. Your instructors job is to present that difficulty. Your job is to confront it."

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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