What next? (new to online forums)

[ReneeJ]

Hi everyone. I have depression and anxiety and have been taking medication for a little over a month. I feel like my anxiety has really started to settle, but my depression not so much. I am fighting with my boyfriend all the time and am finding it difficult to feel happy. It almost feels like I have lost the ability.  Along with medication I have changed my diet to a much healthier one, I also take short walks to relieve tension and stress. Could anyone else suggest other things I could do? I am taking my negative feelings out (unintentionally) on my boyfriend and it's putting a huge strain on our relationship. I really want to feel happy and a little more carefree again. Please help. 

[Rhonda_K]

Hi Renee,

Welcome to Beyond Blue. I'm  sure you will find these forums helpful. I am fairly new to BB as well and have found there are some very caring and understanding people here.

You have definitely made an excellent start by taking medication and looking after yourself by changing your diet and exercising. It is fantastic that your anxiety has lessened.

I really recommend that you seek professional help through counselling to talk through the issues that are causing your depression.  Understanding what is causing you to feel the way you do is essential for your recovery.

Be kind to yourself  and take care of yourself.

Regards Rhonda

[lazybeetle]

Hi Renee,

I can definitely relate to your story. Although I never went on medication for my anxiety and depression, I did take it out on my partner at the time. He fortunately loved me enough to see me through to the other side and thankfully I am on the other side. 

What really worked for me was psychotherapy. I saw three therapists before I found the person who really "got" me. This kind of rapport is really important in the success of the therapy. The right therapist will be able to turn the most stubborn cynic into participating in CBT or mindfulness or whatever technique is required to get through the anxiety and depression.

The techniques were immensely helpful. It requires a huge amount of work, but it was worth it. I also spoke to my partner about each session and the things I learnt, so we could work on it together. One technique which really worked for me when I was in a bad mood and was starting to take things out on him was to walk away. Time out. Go to a different room, call someone. Read something. Watch TV. Do the dishes. Go outside for a walk. Because as strange as it sounds, within about 5 minutes, I would start to come to my senses and realise it was my mood and not the situation that was causing the problem. 

The other thing I found useful is positive self-talk. Not heaping on the praise, but stating facts which are true in a way that even at your most negative, you will still accept. And then you can build on that to lift yourself out of the depression.

The one set back I used to have with depression is the lack of motivation. I was always waiting to feel better to start to do positive things. But unfortunately, physiology often works the other way around. It's after you do the positive things, then your motivation and mood will catch up. The fact that you're doing exercise is really good (you're light years ahead of me! I'm still trying to get into exercise!)

Hang in there! You're already taking so many positive steps. Things will get better and with the right help, you will feel happy again.

All the best

LB