First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or
less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm
unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that
I can’t drive until I sort out ...
View more
First post here, I'm 23, unemployed, single, living at home, and more or
less confined within my house as my car registration has expired and I'm
unable to afford the renewal cost, so here I am writing this. Given that
I can’t drive until I sort out my registration, I have no freedom and am
no longer able to undertake the one thing that seems to have been
keeping me sane throughout this whole time. Now I understand this might
not be the most relatable topic for most people, so unless you’re bored
with nothing better to do like myself, you probably won’t be interested,
but regardless I'd like to share what has helped me get through some
difficult times. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for the better
part of my life, finding no closure despite all my efforts. I was put on
antidepressants but found that they weren’t helping but rather making me
feel worse, so foolishly I decided to dabble in some illicit substances
which was a mistake that put me in a mental watch unit and seeing both a
psychologist and psychiatrist. Fortunately I pulled through it and
learnt my lesson, vowing never to do that again. So drugs definitely
weren’t the answer for me. At a certain point in my life I discovered an
extreme sport called downhill mountain biking. There are plenty of
videos on the internet if you want a better idea of what it’s all about.
It took me a while but I overcame my initial fears and started seeing
some real progress. I was attempting things that I never would have
thought possible when I first started. I guess it’s the same with most
things in life, that is you don’t know what you can do until you give it
a try and even though you might not succeed at first, if you persevere
you should get there eventually. It’s about realising your potential,
facing your fears and not giving up. I have never applied this to
anything other than my sport, which seems like the only thing I have
ever put any real effort into. I didn’t care about doing well at school
and the same goes for work. I only saw that as a means of survival, it's
not something I would willingly do unless it was something I enjoyed,
but from a realistic viewpoint I don’t ever see that happening for me.
Now given the nature of my sport, there are many dangers that come along
with it. It is inevitable not to crash at some point and I have endured
many in my time, resulting in hospital visits in some instances. During
those moments, such intense pain is a sensation seldom experienced, it
actually made me feel more alive and reminded me that I was still human
and that our bones can be broken and our flesh can bleed. Most normal
people steer clear from any danger, which makes sense as this is a
natural response to preserve one’s own life, but are they truly living?
The fight or flight response is a remarkable thing. It's said that “the
brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all” and I
stand by that saying. Downhill mountain biking is the one and only thing
I can somewhat be proud of and rely on to lift me up, even though I am
nowhere near the level I want to be, I know how demanding it is and how
much courage and determination is required to succeed. So I now had a
natural high. The adrenaline rush I get from riding is far better than
any drug out there and the best part is that there are no side effects.
I can't really describe the euphoria I get from it as it's something
only those who have experienced it will understand and I’m quite
fortunate to have discovered a passion for a sport that does that. When
I'm on my bike nothing else matters except staying on those two wheels
and making it to the bottom. I do feel sorry for those who don’t have a
creative outlet to deal with their problems as I was once one of them,
and in these past 3 weeks I have noticed my symptoms slowly coming back
due to a withdrawal from not riding and being stuck at home. I'm not
entirely sure how much longer I can last as I no longer have any way to
release the tension, boredom and anxiety building up within me and
regular exercise does nothing for me. Being in a depressed mental state
you’re probably telling yourself there's absolutely nothing out there
that you might like or want to try. Of course it doesn’t have to be
something extreme like downhill mountain biking, but perhaps you may
dare to try something new and enjoy it, if you can force yourself to
give it a go. It’s important that you don’t let anyone discourage you
and doubt yourself. I've been dissuaded by people for doing what I do
because they consider it to be too risky and dangerous. They would try
hold you back from chasing your goals, because they were too afraid to
chase their own. I’m desperate to get out of my current predicament and
get my life back on track and I've already set myself more goals as I
want to start doing motorsport racing next. I look forward to embracing
the challenges that lie ahead and hope that you are also able to find
something you are passionate about in this life.
A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
