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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Eddie6 Apologising for behaviour
  • replies: 3

I was just wondering if there if anyone has ever apologised for their behaviour while they were depressed or dealing with other mental health issues? I'm in the middle of honours year and felt depressed for the first 5 months of it. As a result I hav... View more

I was just wondering if there if anyone has ever apologised for their behaviour while they were depressed or dealing with other mental health issues? I'm in the middle of honours year and felt depressed for the first 5 months of it. As a result I haven't been social with my lab, who are a very welcoming group of people, I haven't been contributing to lab meetings, I've been missing them often, or showing up late. Occasionally, I feel like I've let depression affect my behaviour so that I've made curmudgeonly comments in discussions, and I'm embarrassed by my behaviour. To make matters worse, I switched universities to be part of this lab because I'm really interested in the research they do, and feel like I've brought a negative attitude to the environment. I'm no longer feeling depressed, and have some energy back. I would really like to turn things around become a contributing member of the lab, but I feel like I've already put myself in a particular role, and I don't know how easy it will be to change it. I was thinking about apologising to my supervisor for missing meetings as a start, and telling him that I'm feeling much better mentally, because he was aware that I was feeling unwell at the start of this project. Has anyone else dealt with this type of thing?

white knight DIET change helped us
  • replies: 1

Hi all, My wife and I have different types of depression and I have other issues like dysthymia and anxiety. Earlier this year I got a bout of gout. As my kidneys weren't 100% I couldnt take anti inflammatroies. So I had to check out natural ways to ... View more

Hi all, My wife and I have different types of depression and I have other issues like dysthymia and anxiety. Earlier this year I got a bout of gout. As my kidneys weren't 100% I couldnt take anti inflammatroies. So I had to check out natural ways to get the swelling down. This event started a culture in our household of making juices. We made a juice of - cucumber, celery, ginger root, mango, coconut water and pineapple for the anti inflams. It worked a treat. Once the gout was gone I drink cherry juice to keep it away. Other juices included carrots and apples. We have also embarked on other good nutritional foods like porridge, salad sandwiches and the pie chart for dinner. The pie chart being one quarter meat, one quarter pasta or balsamic rice and half vegies. We both feel these changes has helped our mental well being as well as losing weight. Do any of you have a diet fit for us all? Or can recommend foods to eat for depression?

white knight BEING POSITIVE what's the secret?
  • replies: 53

When the world is evil, people are cruel and nothing works out for you.How can you possibly rise up above it all? We live on a cliff face. At any moment we could fall over it. I know now that by being positive I will never fall over it even though I ... View more

When the world is evil, people are cruel and nothing works out for you.How can you possibly rise up above it all? We live on a cliff face. At any moment we could fall over it. I know now that by being positive I will never fall over it even though I still sit on that cliff edge.It's a paradox but that cliff face is a reminder of where I could have ended up had I not changed my thinking. I was programmed a boy of doom and gloom. I had to erase the tape and reboot. There are two ways of changing from a negative person to a positive one. The first is shock. Attending a lecture or having a serious event in your life take place whereby you snap into positivity. The second is slowly changing your thinking process over time. Whenever you are faced with a negative you have to replace it with a positive. How do we do that. It isnt easy and for some it isnt obvious at all. Here are some examples- I'm miserable because its cold and raining outside - I'm happy that I'm warm and dry inside in front of a fire My brother died at 27 and I was only 24yo - I'm proud of my brothers achievements over such a short life I baked a cake and it was a failure - I baked a cake and left the egg out, I'll do better ext time I had to wait at the doctors for 2 hours - The doctor might have had an emergency I cant get out of bed - I am unwell today, I'm hoping I'll feel better tomorrow I've been branded a snob - I am a quiet person but I am kind and considerate and dont need to prove it You get the picture. It takes practice. Some tragedies arent easy to swallow. We live in the country and seeing animals killed on the side of the road is hurtful. My wife and I tend to say to each other "well, if they were injured we'd get them to the refuge to give them a chance". Give it a go. Be persistent. You will drop back into negativity often but keep trying. In the end like me you will sit on that cliff edge but one day you'll take a peak over the edge to realise the drop is only a few feet, not the kilometres it used to be.

mandy6 Does diet affect depression?
  • replies: 4

I was wondering if diet had an effect on depression. I know I could look this up on google but frankly i'm not bothered to read a long article. So for about a month I didn't eat any fruit (except for bananas but they don't really count) because there... View more

I was wondering if diet had an effect on depression. I know I could look this up on google but frankly i'm not bothered to read a long article. So for about a month I didn't eat any fruit (except for bananas but they don't really count) because there was no fruit in the house and I wasn't bothered to run to the shops and do some exercise (I'm lazy alright). For this month I felt more depressed than usual and just didn't know why. however for the past week or so with the start of mandarin season I have been eating lots of fruit and I my depression has seemed to ease off a bit. I was wondering if there was any correlation between the two or if it was just a coincidence. also has anyone else seen any similar mood change with diet change?

AGrace HOPE
  • replies: 4

My mental health fell apart when I was 15. I lost my first boyfriend to suicide. It was a very isolating event and I quickly felt like no one understood me. It was 2 years later after a major struggle to deal with life, an attempt at suicide, and a d... View more

My mental health fell apart when I was 15. I lost my first boyfriend to suicide. It was a very isolating event and I quickly felt like no one understood me. It was 2 years later after a major struggle to deal with life, an attempt at suicide, and a dictionary of disturbing events (my parents separated 3 times, my mum had a breakdown, I was raped, and had 2 pregnancies terminated after numerous failed relationships) when my parents finally found the time for me to get me some treatment. I was admitted to a Psychiatric Hospital. I was 17 and I was the only teenager their, so a pretty scary place to spend 3 months. I was treated for PTSD and eventually discharged. I lived the following 16 years feeling complete emptiness. There was no amount of happiness that could make up for all the sadness. I went from 1 psychologist to the next, never revealing my entire story through fear that it would break me. Eventually I couldn't suppress it anymore. I'd been self harming and battling with an eating disorder for years. I had become suicidal once again and ended up back in hospital. I was diagnosed with BPD, depression, and anxiety. In the past 10 monthsI've attempted suicide 3 times, I've been in and out of hospital, I've self harmed often, I've seen numerous psychiatrists and Psychologists, I've been a lab rat for medications, and attended so many group therapy sessions I've lost count. Ive been through enough to make any human lose hope, and yet thats the one thing I've held onto. Without HOPE I wouldn't be here to share my story. If I could have given anything in the world to my boyfriend all those years ago it would've been HOPE. If I could give the world a gift thats exactly what I'd choose, "AN ENDLESS SUPLY OF HOPE". Even when you think you've lost everything there's always HOPE, so cherish it and use it every step of the way.beyondblue’s clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

CrashCoyote My story: I still have dreams
  • replies: 76

Hi everyone,I am writing this post following a request from a fellow member to know more about me. I do not wish to hi-jack another post so have started this one.I am fifty years old and the father of five. Divorced twice and in a few other relations... View more

Hi everyone,I am writing this post following a request from a fellow member to know more about me. I do not wish to hi-jack another post so have started this one.I am fifty years old and the father of five. Divorced twice and in a few other relationships over the years. My friends sometimes joke that I am looking for my next ex.I am an honest man and try very hard to be a good person, a good partner (when in a relationship) and a good dad. My life is not extraordinary and I am starting to realise how far too many people have far too much trauma in their lives. Is this our evolved society?I grew up in a housing commission house with my mum and younger sister. Dad left mum when my sister was born and I was a barely a year old. He was never in my life. His bother (we are good wogs!) did his bit to fill the void and to this day he is the closest thing to a dad I have ever know and I love him dearly. My dad died a few years ago but I did not grieve for him. I did not know him. His brother told me of his death and was crying when he told me. I was upset that my uncle was upset but not that my dad had died! Mum was never very mentally stable but did her best. We were poor and mum never did drugs or booze or gambled. I love my mum but as a parent I struggle with her parenting style and we are not close these days.I was the "man" of the house since I was about fourteen and I guess I just continued that caring role until I ended up taking on the ultimate responsibility - caring for the community. I joined the Police.My career path started at Darlinghurst, then Redfern, later I was a radio dispatcher and 000 telephonist. I worked at Fairfield when we had the highest murder rate in Australia (late 1980's) and Green Valley, Campbelltown, Campsie, Ashfield and Granville. I was mostly operational and in uniform and working alone. (More common than you might think.) I have been physically threatened with death many times. I have arrested dozens of people at gunpoint, sometimes at the point where I was applying trigger pressure before the offender surrendered. I have talked three people out of suicide.Twice people have died in my arms. I have been assaulted more times than I can even remember. I have seen babies and children suffer in ways many cannot imagine. I have taken statements from victims of sexual assault that have suffered in ways most could not imagine. After over thirty serious work injuries and a good dose of PTSD, I was pensioned off from my career and a job I was lucky enough to have loved for the time I was in it.In my personal life my third daughter died of SIDS at the age of eight weeks. It led to the breakdown of my second marriage. As a direct result I do not even see my subsequent daughter as my ex wife cannot stand to have her away from her and has forbidden her from seeing me. It is a form of child abuse and it certainly messes with my head, but at the end of the day my daughter is being denied a loving father because her mother cannot cope with her own issues.I have always liked the company of ladies but it took me until I was forty two to find "the one". She was and is the love of my life but has her own anxiety issues and after three years of a sort-of-normal relationship I spent a further four clinging to what was a dying relationship in which I think she loved me but could not control her anxiety over other issues. She dumped me last year. I do not think I even knew what true love of woman was until she came along and now I feel I have nothing to give another woman because she still has my heart, even though we are no longer together. My addiction? I guess so.Anyway, that is my life in a nutshell. I fight every day to battle my depression and I won't give up. I have four other children that love me and need me. I have a new grand daughter who is so beautiful that I still cannot suppress a smile every time I open my mobile phone - she is my screen saver! I may drink a bottle of spirits tonight, or not. I may go to the gym tomorrow, or not. I may have a minute or two of euphoria interspersed with the general depression, or I may not.I still have dreams. I like to write and have been published. One day I will write that best seller. One day I will live on a hundred acres out of Sydney and feed chickens and muck around in my man shed. There is always someone worse off and I will do my best. Part of my inspiration is this site, and many of you will never know how much strength I draw from your posts, but I thank you one and all. I wish you success, such that it is, in your own lives.Thanks for reading.John.

anneabell what do you do to help you feel better when your feeling depressed
  • replies: 4

Any suggestions on how to help someone feel better when feeling depressed. what do you do I restarted taking my tablets which I forgot to take for a few days and now feeling a bit depressed now waiting for the meds to kick back in but whilst waiting ... View more

Any suggestions on how to help someone feel better when feeling depressed. what do you do I restarted taking my tablets which I forgot to take for a few days and now feeling a bit depressed now waiting for the meds to kick back in but whilst waiting I need some ideas on what to do to get out of this mood I am in now. any ideas suggestions please thank you

vip My funny moods
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone I was missing from these forums for a while totally got carried away with facebook which I closed and will never reopen again as I was writing maybe things I shouldn't have that's ok I made a big mistake I have learnt from it. I have been... View more

Hi everyone I was missing from these forums for a while totally got carried away with facebook which I closed and will never reopen again as I was writing maybe things I shouldn't have that's ok I made a big mistake I have learnt from it. I have been off my medication for 6 months due to some bad side effects I was having like drops to the floor, memory loss so under strict supervision from my psych and gp im having a go being off all this. How am I doing well I have a borderline personality disorder so many many different personalities coming out wow and I have anxiety and depression but I am go well I would say nearly 80% well ill get there . I train vigourously at my local gym 5 days a week sometimes 6 I volunteer im helping my hubby at the moment with his business all these things just temp until I get get in that work force and maybe work in fashion my 2nd passion in life. I would say I have had all this from age 7 and I turn 40 soon so yes a long battle but im getting stonger im learning to battle my demons and manage all this so I want to give all the rest of you beautiful people on this forum that there is hope and you can overcome all this . Yes its a long long journey and honestly one that will probably last a lifetime but that's what makes us all unique special people. We all have a gift that when we overcome this cruel disease we are able to help others young and old. So that's my spill would love to hear from others who are recovering and what they have done to recover just for some inspiration that's all. take care to you all xx

CAG Words - more powerful than you realise
  • replies: 7

Its 4am, another cant sleep moment so I get up and try to do something productive .. so here I am. Friday the 13th... must remember to hug my black cat, stand under a ladder, break a mirror and all that stuff .. Anyway on to productive... I am instin... View more

Its 4am, another cant sleep moment so I get up and try to do something productive .. so here I am. Friday the 13th... must remember to hug my black cat, stand under a ladder, break a mirror and all that stuff .. Anyway on to productive... I am instinctively altruistic. It is not a bad thing at all, however I seemed to have missed the part in the operating guide where it said to put myself first, not last. I have fixed that now as in a large part the part I missed put me where I am now. I like to inspire others as part of that helping quality I have and if what I share does help someone then that would be awesome. Words - can hurt,help and inspire - its how you interpret them. I love quotes. I have them stuck up everywhere so I see them all the time and they help me a great deal to keep positive and motivated. Some examples Depression - Do Everything Positively Reach Extend Stay Strong Ignore Others Negativity Fear - Forget Everything and Run or Face Everything and Rise Face your problems, don't Facebook them Focus - Fear Often Causes Unnecessary Sadness What other people think of you is REALLY none of your business On the back of my front door is It is just a big piece of wood. Stop worrying about what might go wrong. Take a deep breath, open me because on the other side you could find something to go right The first step to getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are Winners are not people who never fail but people that never quit Music is expression with powerful words. It can and will change your mood. Some extracts of lyrics Delta Goodrem - Believe Again Have you ever stared into the rain Thought the clouds would never disappear Have you ever screamed out into the dark Thinking no one else could hear Have you ever spun out of control Like you never saw the road ahead Have you ever just kept looking back Ever closer to the edge I believe the impossible is possible to overcome D:Ream - Things can only get better I sometimes lose myself in me I lose track of time And I can't see the woods for the trees You set 'em alight, burning the bridges as you go I'm too weak to fight you I got my personal health to deal with Things can only get better Can only get better Sleepy again now, I hope this might help, if it does you don't need to tell me, that is not my intent. I will just keep on fighting and make it happen.. There will be an answer.. let it be Keep going, don't stop. don't quit. Believe in you.

Wombat_Divine Getting the right diagnosis
  • replies: 2

What has worked for me? Getting the right diagnosis for starters and this was only possible with regular therapy. I am in the living in the USA for several years with my family. My husband has health insurance included in his work package. I have acc... View more

What has worked for me? Getting the right diagnosis for starters and this was only possible with regular therapy. I am in the living in the USA for several years with my family. My husband has health insurance included in his work package. I have access to monthly psychiatrist visits and weekly psychologist visits, all for minimal cost. So far I have been here for 12 months and my recovery is going well and I believe I have received a correct diagnosis after many, many years. I don't think I would have received a correct diagnosis in Australia (at least not for a very long time), not because of mental health professionals' lack of skill, but because access to mental health care is in Australia is expensive so I couldn't afford intense therapy. In Australia, I'd visit my psychiatrist every 3 months, paying a gap of approx $65. That wasn't too bad. However, to see a psychologist on a regular basis was beyond my means. I would get a mental health plan every year which would entitle me to 6 visits with a psych. I could also get a little rebate with my health insurance provider in after I had used up my mental health plan, but it was quite minimal. So seeing a psychologist on a weekly basis, for a long period of time, was not possible as the psych I was seeing in Australia charges over $150 an hr. Had it not been for the intense therapy I have received over the last 12 months in the USA, I don't think I would have made such big strides towards recovery. I am not saying the USA system is better. Far from it. I am currently in a beneficial situation where I get healthcare almost for free. However when I return to Australia, I go back to paying my own health insurance with minimal mental health coverage. I am concerned that my mental health will go downhill. Anyway, I choose not to ruminate about this too much. Cheers,Wombat Divine