Staying well

From achiever to disabled- the transformation

replies: 6

I've read here many times. "I used to be thriving, capable, a team leader, a CEO, a bight and joyous person......."now I cant get out of bed" or "now I cant concentrate" Once you are at the top eg you have achieved so much - you can only either stay ... View more

I've read here many times. "I used to be thriving, capable, a team leader, a CEO, a bight and joyous person......."now I cant get out of bed" or "now I cant concentrate" Once you are at the top eg you have achieved so much - you can only either stay there or slide down. If you slide down slowly it can be tolerated as you finally reach retirement age but some fall with a thud. I'm 59yo and ran my own one man business. Although I never reached the peak of my business potential I was happy with my level of professionalism. In 2003 I was initially diagnosed but my mental issues went way back to childhood. Since 2003 my mental capability has diminished. I retired earlier than desired at 2013 and have noticed some abilities I took for granted have drifted away. Co-ordination. I can no longer do heavy paperwork. I can pay bills on line Bpay and the like. But to sort out my 250 poems into sections eg Personal, australiana, war poems, childrens poems etc is nigh impossible. My wife helped me today and she eventually had to take over. I was getting them all mixed up. So concentration is not there any more. These things is like an overflowing bucket. Such bucket wont empty to allow space to recuperate. I'm tired and depleted of drive to seek more therapy. I'm satisfied on my medication. I dont want further psychiatric consultation. In terms of mental capacity I just want to "exist". I can pass on my experience here as a champion volunteer because the memory bank is full of data but my short term memory has gone on a permanent holiday. I cannot concentrate on more than one thing at a time. I get moody if interrupted on a task because I cant leave that task with my concentration to think about anything else then return to it. Am I just getting old? I teach here the need to accept ones illness. Accepting depression for example then managing it is the mentality one should strive for. Yet age (if that's what it is) is really hard to accept. I fell over in my garage a few days back. The fall seemed to take 10 seconds from start to finish. I asked an older male friend if he falls often and his answer was "yes". And he gets dizzy if bending over for too long. I feel that mental illness, bipolar 2, dysthymia, anxiety and depression has taken its toll, even damaged my brain. Has anyone else felt these symptoms? Do you feel your brain is worn out? Tony WK

How do you deal with change?

replies: 1

Does anyone else out there have a hard time sometimes dealing with change? e.g., change in routine? How do you cope with it?

When there is no light in sight.

replies: 19

Are you in a dark place with only thoughts of failure and maybe of dying? Well know this; You are not alone! Everyone fails at some time or other and everything dies eventually. SO WHAT?!. Life is part of an eternal education. Negative thoughts are a... View more

Are you in a dark place with only thoughts of failure and maybe of dying? Well know this; You are not alone! Everyone fails at some time or other and everything dies eventually. SO WHAT?!. Life is part of an eternal education. Negative thoughts are a part of that education. Take whatever time you need to have negative thoughts but remember, they are just a part of a whole. There is only one thing that continues forever and that thing is change. Rekindle the positives of your past. Goals are what made you move forward before and they can do so again. Look for new goals. One goal could be for you to find the person who understands you. The universe has a positive balance for every negative. Make it your goal to find yours!

A better self, everyday

replies: 4

Today is my second birthday. Two years ago, after years of battling depression at the point of suicide, I reached a pivotal moment in life where everything I knew came crashing down around me and I began to see life in a new light. I was at the darke... View more

Today is my second birthday. Two years ago, after years of battling depression at the point of suicide, I reached a pivotal moment in life where everything I knew came crashing down around me and I began to see life in a new light. I was at the darkest place on earth when my friends reached the point where they could no longer handle the trauma of being my friend. I will be forever sorry to them for the pain I caused them and the stress I put them through. But I will also be forever proud of myself for pulling myself out of the darkness. While it may have been the single most painful experience of my life, it was also the greatest learning experience of my life. I am a better person because of it. I still experience periods of anxiety and depression but I have developed the tools to properly deal with those feelings. I understand now the importance of being honest about how I am feeling and seeking help when it is needed. I have learnt to value every person I meet in this world and treasure every relationship I have. I have learnt to be grateful for the gifts and talents I posses. I have learnt that in order to make the most of life I have to seek and seize opportunity. The world will not give itself to me. I will lose friends, but I will make friends. I will win and I will lose. Succeed and fail. This is the natural course of life. My job, and everyone’s job, is to take each experience and grow from it to become the best possible version of oneself. And I can honestly say, that at the ripe old age of 2 years old, I am the best person I have ever been.

No one cares - your first mistake

replies: 7

For those of us crippled by panic and social anxiety: NO ONE CARES. Let me explain what I mean by outlining just one common scenario: Walking into a room and feeling all eyes are on you. NO ONE CARES. At the very least, not as much as you do. For you... View more

For those of us crippled by panic and social anxiety: NO ONE CARES. Let me explain what I mean by outlining just one common scenario: Walking into a room and feeling all eyes are on you. NO ONE CARES. At the very least, not as much as you do. For you, this is a life or death situation. For the others, they barely know you exist, apart from as a breathing blob of humanoid that happens to be in the vicinity. Each is lost in their own thoughts: whether their wife has asked them to get milk or bread on the way home, feeling tired because of a crappy day at work, feeling slightly off because they ate too much at lunch, feeling hungry because they skipped lunch, or mentally daydreaming about what they're going to be doing next weekend. Just as you are wrapped up in your little world, so too is everyone else. They know nothing about you - and they won't care to know unless it directly affects them. This may seem like a cold, cynical way of thinking, but I see it more as a splash of cold water to the face for anxious. To allow yourself to be controlled by panic in this way is to assume that you are more important than everyone else. What do you think?

Regular 31yo Melb married male looking for cool people to chat to online about anything, MAKE FRIENDS take over the world and eat pie.................

replies: 3

Hi everyone! I find myself pretty bored far to often these days. I've had some serious depression come and go. These days everythings pretty under control in that area, but it always likes to creep up behind me when I least expect it. I just need to ... View more

Hi everyone! I find myself pretty bored far to often these days. I've had some serious depression come and go. These days everythings pretty under control in that area, but it always likes to creep up behind me when I least expect it. I just need to probably get out more, and get on top of the hundred other things I've yet to put a ounce of effort into. I'm regular enough. Interests have dwindled a little, but I still have a small passion for retro gaming, mainly anything sega. I enjoy doing weights and boxing, although I havn't ever been overly consistent in doing either. When I eventually have some spare cash, I'm pretty keen to get an xbox one, ps4 or wii U. I do web and graphic design here and there also which is enjoyable in some ways. I definitely like business and thinking ideas to make money too. New show on tv, SHARK TANK is pretty entertaining if you havnt watched it already! If theres any people out there that wouldnt mind a chat, possibly looking to make friends or anything, I'm interested in talking with people from all walks of life. Look forward to hearing from others out there! All the best!Rals

Can you force people?

replies: 3

We humans can do many things. But when it comes to others we are limited. People have rights. If they do not want to do a certain thing/chore/task then they really dont have to- end of story. Then again there is some middle ground. For example- oblig... View more

We humans can do many things. But when it comes to others we are limited. People have rights. If they do not want to do a certain thing/chore/task then they really dont have to- end of story. Then again there is some middle ground. For example- obligations? When you marry your fiancée do you know him/her well enough to know that he/she will fulfil their obligations. And often enough these obligations are based on what you believe the obligations should be...not necessarily what THEY think they should be. A sure conflict emerges. What follows is often control. The one that feels the other is lazy or doesnt fulfil those basic obligations will often try to enforce them. The yelling commences. What if the one being forced doesnt have the capacity to fulfil such basic obligations...what we could label in this thread 'normal' obligations.? By "capacity" I mean someone that hasnt had an upbringing that taught him/her the basics of living eg cleaning, hygiene, money management, punctuality, self discipline etc. But I see a clear issue here. These people with limited capacity are now adults and adults can be stubborn and have often passed their learning phase. They live how they know how to live and if they have a bossy controlling spouse, wanting to change them...its a huge task to do so. What if this person has the capacity but is just lazy? Perhaps him/her is happy to allow their hard working spouse to carry the bulk of the chores and others things? I'd suggest that this situation is equally hard to face and work out. So, we have one with a possible mental illness. I'd broaden this to alcohol issues, gambling and the like. How difficult it would be to try to get this person to obtain help is riddled within the pages of this forum with people desperate to find a way to get them to accept they have a problem. Spouses, friends or family are often left helpless as this person refuses help for a variety of reasons from stubbornness to stigma and everything in between.Lets face it, if this person has absolutely nothing mentally wrong with themselves why wouldnt they agree to seek a medical assessment to prove everyone wrong? The fact is we can lead a horse to water but we cant make them drink.It's an accurate saying and one some will need to admit to themselves. After all has been tried and avenues exhausted be proud that you did everything in your power to get that person you love to seek help. Then preserve your own health and accept it !!..that you couldnt make them drink.

DOG, a New Years resolution;

replies: 75

Hi everyone, I have made many new years resolutions over the years, I think I've resolved to lose weight for the last twenty odd! My target this year is alcohol, so I am seeing how many Days Off Grog I can have. I started on NYE day so will have comp... View more

Hi everyone, I have made many new years resolutions over the years, I think I've resolved to lose weight for the last twenty odd! My target this year is alcohol, so I am seeing how many Days Off Grog I can have. I started on NYE day so will have completed sixteen by the end of the fifteenth. Is anyone doing this? If you want to do it with me, just post your number of days. Anything else is optional. Kind regards, John.

When emotions take over logic

replies: 3

Awareness or insight are valuable things to have. Some people with mental illness have no insight to their behaviour and their actions. Humans, regardless whether they have mental illness or not commonly display periods in their life whereby emotions... View more

Awareness or insight are valuable things to have. Some people with mental illness have no insight to their behaviour and their actions. Humans, regardless whether they have mental illness or not commonly display periods in their life whereby emotions overtake logic. You can observe this often. At work, in the street, with family. Someone gets upset and no amount of calming or injection of logic seems to make a difference. They are in a "state" as we say. In a "lather". Made worse with alcohol I must suggest. If we are aware of how potent our emotions can be on our thinking and therefore our actions then perhaps we can introduce a plan to self instruct ourselves. A u-turn of reactions. There is no magic method. It's all about awareness. That your thoughts are not as logical as they would be without your emotions taking over. A clear example for me was some comments my mother used to make under high emotion (I'm estranged from her and I believe she has cronic BPD). Normal logic comment "The frost got my tomatoes but the other vegies might survive ok" Under emotion "Oh, the frost got my tomatoes....I might as well pull out all the vegetable garden and start again. I'm a useless gardener". Now I acknowledge the above is riddled with other mental illness issues but you get my meaning that her behaviour under emotional "control" is vastly different, more negative, a greater impact upon family members. My mother had no insight and was never easily approachable as she took the most tactfully put comments as a threat. Terror resulted (when we were kids) or alienation or all out war pursued when we entered adulthood. Also ramifications on family members or friends would continue. My dear old dad would likely rip up all the vegie patch following her emotional outburst. Then once she settled and logic returned she'd tell him "you shouldnt have listened to me". Now admittedly that example is from someone that has a swinging mood issue that required treatment. But often some of us live in a world of extremes. So what can you do? Of course always consult your doctor if you are aware of your emotional instability or you are told so. Often we have to rely on others to tell us if our behaviour is not stable be it mood, rapid pace of speech or other symptom. Take others observations seriously and not personally. That isnt easy but remember- it isnt easy for them either. Everyone just wants us to be as well as we can be. It's their way of loving us. Love them back by listening.

Is low self-esteem really a problem?

replies: 5

Now this may ruffle a few feathers, so I want to start by saying that what I’m about to write does not apply for people who have been abused or belittled throughout their lives and have come to have a very false sense of their true value as a person.... View more

Now this may ruffle a few feathers, so I want to start by saying that what I’m about to write does not apply for people who have been abused or belittled throughout their lives and have come to have a very false sense of their true value as a person. Most of us with depression, thankfully, do not have these terrible traumas to have copied with but are depressed nonetheless. So with that caveat out the way…If you could boil your depression down to a single thought, that single thought is often ‘I feel bad about myself’. My question is, should we feel good about ourselves all the time? Are we entitled to? I don’t believe we are. Emotions such as guilt and regret can have very valid underpinnings, and can be a pause for us to reflect and ask ourselves, if I am feeling bad about myself, why is this, and most importantly…is there anything I can do to change things? Sometimes I think that simply accepting the phrase ‘I have low self-esteem’ can be an excuse for us not to make the changes in our lives that we need to make. And this is also why when we are feeling low about ourselves, that having well meaning friends tell us the opposite has very little effect. And if we ever were to truly believe these glowing compliments about ourselves, then we would be dangerous narcissists. Don’t you think that accepting yourself, warts and all, is more likely to help you stay well than an unwavering belief that you a wonderful person?

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