Staying well

POSITIVE THINKING!!! I WAS WRONG.

replies: 6

For some time I've promoted the concept. To inject positive thoughts in your head to assist in your recovery of depression or maybe permanently change the way you approach life so your day to day routine is energised. Below are extracts of a newspape... View more

For some time I've promoted the concept. To inject positive thoughts in your head to assist in your recovery of depression or maybe permanently change the way you approach life so your day to day routine is energised. Below are extracts of a newspaper article on this subject that dispells the theory. While I still believe positive thinking can help in some cases, perhaps where medication is right and symptoms subside it could be a welcome addition. However these quotes of this report clearly states that positive motivation is not what is recommended when in deep depression. by Associate professor Anthony GRANT and Dr Suzy GREEN How often have you been told to "look on the bright side" or "focus on the good things" when times are tough?It can feel as though every self help book , TV show or family member wants you to stop feeling sad, angry or depressed and find the silver lining in every situation. Proponents of positive thinking would have us believe that it's one of the best ways to boost self esteem, find happiness and even prevent some illnesses such as depression. But how effective is it? According to social psychologist Anthony Grant , the term "positive thinking" is poorly defined and largely misunderstood. For many people it means saying daily affirmations focusing on the good in every situation and putting on a happy face even when its the last thing we feel like doing. But Grant warns trying to be permanently optimistic about life is highly unrealistic and generally makes you feel worse off in the long run. "It just doesnt work" When people dont allow themselves to think about problems or sadness or any other emotion apart from happiness, it's not helpful at all he explained. "In difficult periods of your life you need to allow yourself to grieve and have a whole range of emotions, because thats part of the natural healing process". A 2009 study found positive self statements only improve mood and well being in people that already have high self esteem. In people with low self esteem it has the opposite effect. The above is a revelation. Readers can google extracts of the above and the Dr's name to seek the full report. WK

After 10 Years I Got Help

replies: 3

It's taken me well over 10 years to speak to a psychologist/therapist about my problems and what has happened within my life to make me the person I am today. I always had a feeling that I had depression and anxiety but hearing someone else say it ma... View more

It's taken me well over 10 years to speak to a psychologist/therapist about my problems and what has happened within my life to make me the person I am today. I always had a feeling that I had depression and anxiety but hearing someone else say it made it all feel so real and to be honest, quite horrifying. I was sexually assaulted by an older man who my parents considered a friend when I was about 9 years old. I didn't know what was happening or that it was wrong at the time, As I got older, it played on my mind and having trust in other males was incredibly hard and still is to this day. Throughout Primary School I was constantly bullied and I used to pee my pants a lot. Going into High School was no better, I had my fair share of two faced friends. Because of what was happening at school, I wasn't a great child at home. I was so horrible to my parents and for that, I was physically and verbally punished. A few months before my 17th Birthday I was kicked out of home, luckily my Grandmother took me for a few weeks until things had calmed down at home. After I finished school, I found myself a job as I didn't have enough faith in myself to study at uni. After a few months things were getting full on again at home and I ended up moving in with a male and his daughter who he has part time. After a few weeks we began to get close and eventually became and item, after 3 years we are still together - it has not been easy. After being together 6 months, he had heart failure and nearly passed away. It was then that I found out he had been sleeping with someone else. He knows what mistakes he has made and I hope he doesn't make them again. About a month after I quit my job due to severe bullying at work and started working for my Dad until I found something else. I haven't left. My grandparents passed away not long after and within 9 months of each other which really really broke our family. They meant the world to me and to not have them here to talk to and offer advice, it's such an empty feeling. I've had a fair few issues with people at work lately and it's tipped me well and truly over the edge. After all this time, I went to my GP and got a referral to see someone. I have just had my second session and am so thankful I took that first step but so mad at myself for leaving it this long and letting things get so bad. I have a LONG way to go yet and am currently at a stage where I am at breaking point. Hopefully things look up....

Fear of Recovery??

replies: 7

Hi, Feeling a little baffled today. I have been diagnosed with BPD, Depression, and Anxiety. I was told from the very beginning that BPD is not a treatable condition, and after a long period of time I finally accepted this, and the fact that I would ... View more

Hi, Feeling a little baffled today. I have been diagnosed with BPD, Depression, and Anxiety. I was told from the very beginning that BPD is not a treatable condition, and after a long period of time I finally accepted this, and the fact that I would live my life struggling with the symptoms as best as I could. I had an appointment with my Psychiatrist this morning and she said "Once you've completed Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, in a year or so, you won't be classified as having BPD anymore because you won't have the minimum of 5 out of 9 traits of the disorder."...Needless to say I was dumbfounded, it completely went against everything I've ever known about my illness. After living with BPD for 18 years (having 9 out of 9 traits) I don't think I can convince myself that after completing a year of therapy that somehow I'm going to stop feeling, thinking, and acting the way I do. I'm starting to question is this just me being scared of getting better??? I don't want to buy into something, and then find out in a year's time that I haven't recovered, and I'm still the same:( I think I've spent so much time in fear that I won't get better, now it's fear that I will, has anyone else experienced this? AGrace

Benefit of the doubt could save embarrassment

replies: 6

Twice in recent years I've been bullied. I'm 58 and 120 kgms. But the age and size doesnt mean anything when we are talking sensitivity and emotion. The first was straight bullying. A person that didnt like a post on a forum but knew of my ills, sent... View more

Twice in recent years I've been bullied. I'm 58 and 120 kgms. But the age and size doesnt mean anything when we are talking sensitivity and emotion. The first was straight bullying. A person that didnt like a post on a forum but knew of my ills, sent me a message telling me to "go to your doctor and get more medication you nutter". Cut and dried I relied on the clubs committee that did nothing. Fast track to the second example. I fell out with a woman over her abrasive posts on a forum I was a moderator to. Her husband sent me a message almost carbon copy of the first bully's message. "go to your doctor to get more meds". So as the first bully wasnt dealt with effectively I decided to take the matter in my own hands. I waited a few weeks for a club get together and fronted the man I believed was a coward. Nose to nose I yelled at him that he was indeed a coward and a bully etc. I vented, felt better for about 10 minutes as I departed the area with club members in shock. The problem is.....since then with the help of others, I've realised a few things. 1/ he is a very nice man 2/ That his words in his message wasnt meant to be nasty or of a bullying intent, in fact he meant well by it. His thinking was that I wasnt well and that a review of my meds would help. I have since made up with him but his wife- well is a lost cause there. Some are not forgiving. To my point of this thread- does mental illness promote 'foot in the mouth' proneness? I read once where ADHD sufferers do have foot in the mouth often and I did have ADHD when younger (I'm 58). But in this case its more like lack of seeking clarification, full communication and miss interpretation. I wonder if others here knee jerk like I have? I wonder if this trait is because of cognitive deficiency? A skill not learned when younger? I've often suggested that those with mental illness often remain on the fringes in clubs or in society. I wonder if this is one reason for it? Knowing what I know now I'd never join a committee. Hindsight is a wonderful thing...said Malcolm Fraser. Embarrassment for some of us is more devastating than for others. It could be a major trigger. How can we avoid over reacting when we are convinced we are 100% right? It's like I lack wisdom but I've searched for it on supermarket shelves and there is no sign of the product.......

Poisonous Environment

replies: 2

I don't really know where I would post this, so I just put it as general. I live with my Mother, because I love her and I know if I left home she would not be able to cope without me. She has a chronic illness and is also very depressed and stresses ... View more

I don't really know where I would post this, so I just put it as general. I live with my Mother, because I love her and I know if I left home she would not be able to cope without me. She has a chronic illness and is also very depressed and stresses over many things to an extreme extent. I also get very stressed, and these days I carry a lot of the emotional burden for both of us. Especially since I cannot get upset in front of her. If I do she becomes more upset, often she will even claim I do not have the same right as her to be upset. She believes we are isolated from the world (which in many ways we are). However, she encouraged my relationships with friends, even seeming to like my new friends. It has always been hard for me to make friends, and I do not have many people I call true friends. Recently, she was badgering me about things when I was stressed. She was basically repeating things I was already feeling, so I snapped at her explaining this was the case. She has blocked me off since then, explaining she no longer wants anything to do with anyone because no one cares for her. She is refusing to talk, refusing to go anywhere, even to things she used to like doing. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it because she has previously accused me of secretly ganging up with my brother against her, and she believes my friends sided with me the other day. I go from feeling like running from the whole situation to wanting to stay and help, but she won't let me, and I don't know what else I can do. Normally she gets over these emotional fits quite quickly, but this is going longer, and I feel like when she does snap out of it it may be too late...

If

replies: 5

If ....... Rudyard Kipling had been a depressive If you can keep your head when your mind Is losing it and blaming it on you. If you can trust yourself when depression doubts you But make allowance for the illness too, If you can wait and not be tire... View more

If ....... Rudyard Kipling had been a depressive If you can keep your head when your mind Is losing it and blaming it on you. If you can trust yourself when depression doubts you But make allowance for the illness too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting For appointments that don't materialise, Or feeling hated, don't give way to hating, And still see the good and not be paranoid. If you can dream and not make dreams your nightmares, If you can think - and not make thoughts your pain, If you can meet with chaos and disaster And carry on as if you are quite sane; If you can bear to hear the truth you've told Changed by nurses to show your errant ways, Or let the story of your life unfold, And so admit you've spoilt so many days. If you can make one heap of all your tablets And bin them and not even give a toss, And lose and start again at the beginning And never tell the doctor of your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To wait for the bus and make yourself get on, And so hold on when there is nothing in you But the driver's voice shouting 'Hey - hold on!' If you can walk with crowds and yet not panic, Or walk alone - but never feel the fear, If you can keep your friends when you are manic Because these friends believe you are so dear; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds thinking what you ought ter, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And - which is more - you'll be sane my daughter!

Steps to recovering my twin sister - multiple mental illnesses

replies: 1

I'm new to this community forum but I thought it would be extremely beneficial for me. I'm Rachael and I have a twin sister (18 years this august) and she is finally following the beautiful path to recovery for many of her mental illnesses. My sister... View more

I'm new to this community forum but I thought it would be extremely beneficial for me. I'm Rachael and I have a twin sister (18 years this august) and she is finally following the beautiful path to recovery for many of her mental illnesses. My sister Madeline has been placed with the burden of (in order as early as 14 years old) Chronic Fatigue, Depression, Anxiety, OCD and the personally worst of all, an eating disorder - Anorexia. During these many years, my twin sister has suffered through these mental illnesses, that are sadly becoming more and more prevalent amongst the youth of Australian society. It has affected her and her family in immensely terrible ways as I'm sure many of you too experience. However, despite the scarring, the violence, the deadly weight loss, the tears and the loss of hope, my twin sister found hope in many ways, predominantly through family support, and according to her own words, "my sibling and friends". It has become familiar to me that through this experience that family going through the illnesses of the suffer in a patient, but passionate and dedicating way will encourage and simplify their path to recovery. It definitely was not a quick path, but after 2 -3 years of my high-achieving sister staying out of hospital, wanting to be perfect, she recovered and now is at a healthy weight, back at school doing year 11 over two years, and is making new friends. She still has anxiety and depression, but the mere fact that she has gone through the hard yards of going to Eating Disorder clinics, hospitals with nasal gastric tubes etc, proved to herself that she was missing out on her teenage hood. To me, it seems it is eye-openers and realisations that powerfully helps a person suffering an illness to recover. I finish year 12 at the end of this year and my goal is to do a bachelor in psychological science and obtain a career helping the youth/adolescents like my twin sister who are suffering. I wish all the parents/families/individuals out there to stay strong and look towards that pathway to recovery. - Rachael B

Do you have a vision board?

replies: 4

Hello everyone, well I had dinner with a friend last night and she stumped with this out of the blue question; do you have a vision board? Now, I took my time to answer because I had an idea that 'vision boards' were those new agey things where you p... View more

Hello everyone, well I had dinner with a friend last night and she stumped with this out of the blue question; do you have a vision board? Now, I took my time to answer because I had an idea that 'vision boards' were those new agey things where you put up pictures of things you'd like and it's supposed to magically make them happen, I don't believe in that kind of thing. So I played a bit dumb and asked her what she meant, and we ended up having this discussion about goals and plans. Where do see yourself going in life, what are your goals, dreams, etc. And you know, I don't actually have any grand plans. I used to. When I was younger, I had years of things planned out, and when I look back on those times they were the unhappiest of my life. Now that I'm living for no more than what's happening this week, this evening, tomorrow, I am far more content. And yet the conversation left me feeling as if somehow I am off track with others. What do yout hink? Is it necessary to be working towards some big goal in life, or is striving for everyday happiness and contentment enough?

depression a new day

replies: 2

Hi so far today is good my extra tablet seems to be kicking in son is arriving today to be with me for a few days ate breakfast had some dinnner last night also have realized wanting to live where it snows isnt always what I needed it was a dream

the mask

replies: 3

I wrote an earlier thread that had to do with how much i hated myself and the main question was "how can you make a deep connection with someone new when you hate yourself?"- the main answer was basically no, that you have to 'learn to love yourself'... View more

I wrote an earlier thread that had to do with how much i hated myself and the main question was "how can you make a deep connection with someone new when you hate yourself?"- the main answer was basically no, that you have to 'learn to love yourself'. i hate myself because of my depression. And i feel like most of my depression and aunguish stems from me believing i was stronger then i really was and feeling that i didnt need help from anybody. an example of this would be when i was on my way to compete in a national tournament for NSW and when i was about to leave i was told that my mother had died, i was 17 at the time. I remember being told that i could stay or i could go, and thinking that i was strong and could carry on i went. This is the first time i remember really wearing the mask as i did not tell anyone for a week what had happened to me and instead played with the team... I normally wear this mask all the time nowadays with my friends with people i meet, i dont think that when you see me you would think that i have chronic depression or that my self esteem is through the floor. Basically what this thread is about is me asking for peoples opinion on this mask i talk about, is it good (because i can make connections) or is it detrimental (because it prepetuates my feelings of depression because i keep it all bottled up)?

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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