How do you get over bad memories?

[coco123]

Once in a while I have flashback of bad memories. Then, I'm down again. I don't like times like this. It's awful. I try to keep myself busy, but it keeps on coming back briefly, here and there.

How do you cope or get over things like these?

[Neil_1]

Hi there Coco

That's a very good question you've raised.

I'm perhaps not the best person to respond to this;   because it's because of many bad memories that I have is why I am the way I am.  I guess depression and mental illness can have many symptoms for different people and bad memories is just lets say, one of the many arrows in my quiver.

Keeping yourself busy is a great thing and occupied etc;   but I think I'm going to have to leave this to others to perhaps assist both of us here.

I think it may also be the extent of the memory or what happened.  If it's a really bad thing, then I don't think we can get over things like that - well to an extent you can, but for the most part, I say no.  But again, it's probably down to an individual basis.

Kind regards

Neil

[Jo3]

Hi Coco

Great question.  I guess it depends on what kind of memories they are that are causing issues.  For me personally, I had memories recently of being sexually abused as a child.  Wherever I looked the flashbacks were right there in front of me.  I was referred to a clinical psych who treats patients using EMDR (eye movement desensitisation reprocessing).  I had about 4-5 sessions and now the memories are not as "in my face" anymore, they seem to be at a great distance which allows me to feel okay.

I suppose distracting yourself is a good way.  I think the memories will always be there it's just how we cope and deal with these memories that's important.

I hope this has helped a bit.

Take care

Jo

[NicoleP]

Hi Coco

I am currently reading Russ Harris' book 'The Happiness Trap' and am finding it very enlightening. I have found that CBT has not worked for me because it tells me that my thinking is faulty. This book is based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy - that things have happened in your life and that you accept that they have happened and that the more you try and fight the demons in your life, the worse it gets. I have found this very useful for me. I am actually attending a two day workshop in Melbourne in October. There is quite a bit on the internet including clips on Youtube.

KezzaA

[white knight]

Hi Coco,

In nearly every negative situation...I find a positive then focus on that alone. It isnt easy. Theory is easier than practice.

My first wife- 11 years ended in a mess. Positive- 2 beautiful children.

My wife stranded in a broken down car- she didnt have an accident

I'm on meds morning and evening- I'm better for it and my family are

I tripped and broke my leg- wheel chair for only 8 weeks. some are for life

I'm sure you get the picture. After time you will automatically think positively. And what's more, you will see your old negative traits in others.

Bad memories can be turned around. sweep away the bad stuff and remember the good, however small and insignificant.